Yet Another Cycling Forum

Off Topic => The Pub => Topic started by: mrcharly-YHT on July 11, 2014, 03:37:41 pm

Title: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on July 11, 2014, 03:37:41 pm
Quote
11/07/2014   06:13   Hub Trailer Via Sorter          
10/07/2014   16:19   Sent to myhermes central hub          
09/07/2014   15:55   Customer Sent via ParcelShop

Two days to get to your 'central hub'. It's an effing book in a jiffybag.

Come back, Royal Mail, all is forgiven.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on July 11, 2014, 04:46:43 pm
This could be a monster thread!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: asterix on July 11, 2014, 05:11:11 pm
I think couriers deliberately hold stuff back if the rate is economy.  Otherwise why would people pay more?

And no, you ain't gonna get Royal Mail back as the govt sold it off cheap to their friends.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on July 11, 2014, 06:01:37 pm
Yodel have lost/stolen/donegodknows what to a cat carrier and a cat flap that were supposed to arrive on Monday.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bikepacker on July 11, 2014, 06:02:33 pm
Quote
11/07/2014   06:13   Hub Trailer Via Sorter          
10/07/2014   16:19   Sent to myhermes central hub          
09/07/2014   15:55   Customer Sent via ParcelShop

Two days to get to your 'central hub'. It's an effing book in a jiffybag.

Come back, Royal Mail, all is forgiven.

You are paying for a cheap, trackable, insured 2 to 4 day service. What else are you expecting?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: interzen on July 11, 2014, 06:28:02 pm
You are paying for a cheap, trackable, insured 2 to 4 day service. What else are you expecting?
Having the driver make at least a token attempt to deliver rather than shoving a card through the door and pissing off would be a good start.

OK, so that's not what's happening in this case but it's depressingly common. And probably why it's cheap.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bikepacker on July 11, 2014, 06:42:17 pm
As you said, it's cheap.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 11, 2014, 09:13:05 pm
My new Babbage-Engine arrived at 09:15 today.

As promised.

Via Yodel.

Should I be disappointed not to have something to rant about ;D
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Andrij on July 11, 2014, 09:20:21 pm
My new Babbage-Engine arrived at 09:15 today.

As promised.

Via Yodel.

Should I be disappointed not to have something to rant about ;D

Well, your adoring fans are disappointed you have nothing to rant about!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: interzen on July 11, 2014, 09:45:29 pm
Yodel definitely appear to have upped their game of late - myhermes seem to be the whipping boys du jour.

I still die a little inside when I see that something is being dispatched by City Link though - their drivers obviously can't manage stairs given that they tend to dump stuff delivered to work in the lobby and then bugger off.

Apropos of this, a while ago I emailed a certain river-themed tax-dodging organisation asking why they didn't give their customers a choice of courier given that Yodel were being spectacularly crap at the time. Their answer was that it was 'technically unfeasible' ::-) Funny that a two-man operation that I order backpacking gear from can manage exactly that and they don't have a global workforce of thousands with a CEO who looks like Dr. Evil.

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on July 12, 2014, 03:37:19 pm
Having the driver make at least a token attempt to deliver rather than shoving a card through the door and pissing off would be a good start.
Being a postman, you'd be surprised how often we get accused of not ringing/knocking, when we know we have - at least twice before carding them. I even had one woman berate me and when I told her I had rung the bell, she said there were no batteries in it  :facepalm: That's when it's time to walk away...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 12, 2014, 05:45:18 pm
Yodel man knocked on my door yesterday even though i have a doorbell.  I don't know if he tried the bell first.  I put new flatteries in it shortly after being released from the Gulag, but it seems they have the life-span of an adult mayfly.  I may have to seek an alternative.

Lt. Col. Larrington (retd.) claims the flatteries in his doorbell were bought from a passing Tasmanian tiger or something, but I suspect he is mistaken.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on July 12, 2014, 10:08:14 pm
Quote
11/07/2014   06:13   Hub Trailer Via Sorter          
10/07/2014   16:19   Sent to myhermes central hub          
09/07/2014   15:55   Customer Sent via ParcelShop

Two days to get to your 'central hub'. It's an effing book in a jiffybag.

Come back, Royal Mail, all is forgiven.

You are paying for a cheap, trackable, insured 2 to 4 day service. What else are you expecting?
£5 for a book. Dearer than Royal Mail. Who would have delivered it by now.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hubner on July 15, 2014, 06:33:07 pm
I've just had an attempted delivery by Parcelforce.

I heard a knock on the door and I got up off the chair and went downstairs (took less than 10 seconds), nobody at the door so closed it.

Then he shoved a card through the letterbox, I opened the door and see him walking away, said left with neighbour.

Do they expect you to stand by the door all fucking day? >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Tim Hall on July 15, 2014, 09:50:22 pm
Received a Big Box from Planet X on Monday (top marks to Yodel, who tried to deliver to an obviously work address on Saturday).

Open the box, to find it contains the Wrong Rim. Go through Planet X's return procedure, and take Big Box to nearby corner shop, a franchisee of Collect +, who are Planet X's chosen method of getting stuff back. Except they won't take the box as it's too big.  Some confusion over whether it was too big for Collect +, or too big for the nearby corner shop.

Ah well.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Plug1n on July 15, 2014, 11:03:24 pm
DPD event log for a new Ixon Premium from bike-discount.de:

Date & Time   Location   Description
15 Jul 2014 00:49   Dunstable   Your parcel is being held in our DPD Dunstable depot
14 Jul 2014 08:01   Dunstable   Your parcel will be with you today
14 Jul 2014 06:05   Dunstable   Your parcel is with your nearest delivery depot in Dunstable
12 Jul 2014 10:46   DPD Consumer   As requested, your parcel will now be delivered on Fri 18 July 2014
11 Jul 2014 19:59   Hub 3 - Birmingham   We have your parcel, and it's on its way to your nearest depot in Dunstable

Will I see it on the 18th when I will be home all day?

I also got a text on the 14th saying "Mitchell will deliver today between 12:32 and 13:32"

Earlier on it spent a couple of days "consolidating" somewhere in Germany - probably watching the fussball.
 
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on August 01, 2014, 09:28:55 pm
"Amazon Logistics".  I was up and around at 10:15 this morning, so if your useless workshy twat of a delivery operative had bothered to knock on my front door, s/he could have handed me my package and received a heartfelt thank-you and a cheerful smile in return.  But s/he didn't knock on the door, at least with anything more substantial than a feather duster, because s/he is a useless workshy twat.

Moreover, had your useless workshy twat of a delivery operative bothered to shove a card through the door to tell me that it had been left four doors down, I wouldn't have had as much cause to send you that grinky Babbage-Post.  But the useless workshy twat of a delivery operative didn't bother with anything as complicated as that, due to being a useless workshy twat.  Fortuitously I checked the Babbage-Post address I use for Nozama orders (and read on average once a year), but you still got grinked, because I didn't do so until later.  Call me a useless workshy twat if you will, provided you would like a side order of white phosphorus with your dinner.

And the contents of the package?

A doorbell :-\

Useless workshy twats.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: vorsprung on August 05, 2014, 08:08:49 pm
In the past Yodel have committed various acts of madness delivering stuff to me here in Devon.  There used to be a city link depot that worked well for me.  So last year when I'd sold my bike frame to a yacfer up north I picked city link.

They picked it up ok.  A couple of days later I got a phone call from a random stranger.  Hello said he, in quite a gruff way, what the hell is this bike frame the delivery people have left with me.  They say it's for my neighbours but the address isn't anywhere near here.  Oh dear I reply.  I'll see what I can do.

The yacfer got a call and fortunately was able to retrieve his frame

So City link can deliver.  To the correct town.  But to a neighbour of someone in an incorrect street that sounds a bit like the target
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Euan Uzami on August 05, 2014, 09:11:26 pm
ParcelMonkey - a system design question:
If CityLink's "message to driver" field can only take a pointlessly short 20 characters, do you

a) Hassle them and ask why their field only allows an idiotically short message
b) Say, 'oh well', and restrict your own user interface field to that amount of characters and throw an error if they enter more
c) Simply truncate the entered message to the required length! ;D

"Err........................is it..............C"?
NO!!!! the correct answer is *anything BUT frigging C* !!!  >:( >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Bledlow on August 06, 2014, 02:43:13 pm
I keep reading this as Shiite courier thread.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: tiermat on August 06, 2014, 02:44:30 pm
I would post in here, but all the couriers that deliver to home, for us, are excellent, even Hermes.

Sorry.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Euan Uzami on August 06, 2014, 03:19:41 pm
I would post in here, but all the couriers that deliver to home, for us, are excellent, even Hermes.

Sorry.
Rather, the particular employees of those couriers that happen to serve your area happen to be.

You're obviously just lucky, then, basically. Especially if CityLink are excellent
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: tiermat on August 06, 2014, 03:24:15 pm
I would post in here, but all the couriers that deliver to home, for us, are excellent, even Hermes.

Sorry.
Rather, the particular employees of those couriers that happen to serve your area happen to be.

You're obviously just lucky, then, basically. Especially if CityLink are excellent

Well, yes, point taken.

Oddly enough CityLink got a whole lot better a few years ago, as the depot moved to ~8 miles from where I live, hence we were either one of the first, or one of the last deliveries of the day.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Steph on August 06, 2014, 04:32:16 pm
I keep reading this as Shiite courier thread.
I was going to say I prefer my couriers to be sunny...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on August 08, 2014, 04:02:42 pm
https://twitter.com/benjamin1980/status/497737791166750720/photo/1
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on August 08, 2014, 05:11:29 pm
https://twitter.com/benjamin1980/status/497737791166750720/photo/1

Words fail!
Retweeted.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on September 08, 2014, 12:28:45 pm
Bonus points for the chap the other day who was in such a hurry that he couldn't wait for me to get my keys so he improvised and shoved the package through the open porch window. That's quite a drop to a concrete floor. Fortunately it wasn't fragile or a live animal. Seriously, he'd seen me and knew I was coming to open the door. Six thirty on a Friday evening, evidently he wanted to clock off.

Stealth Yodel delivery at some ungodly hour this morning. No knock and a smashed picture frame left outside the door (the fact that it sounded like a box of broken glass is a give away, unless people are in the habit of ordering smashed glass, so I presume they knew). Second attempt (the first by Hermes). We're accumulating broken glass.

Fortunately it seems to be a husband-and-wife local lot that deliver my beer. And they're great. Fortunately. Otherwise I'd drown.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hubner on September 08, 2014, 09:35:09 pm
https://twitter.com/benjamin1980/status/497737791166750720/photo/1

I looks like they tried to throw the parcel over the house!

I've had several Myhermes deliveries thrown over my back garden gate, landing on concrete, with one cast iron item broken into 2 pieces, although it had minimal packaging (box made from thin card, no padding).

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on September 10, 2014, 09:56:57 am
We don't have a Good courier thread, so this is here as an antidote: Parcel Force. Yes, Porkel Farce! 7:00 this morning I get a text, my parcel will be delivered today, reply with one of four options if this isn't ok (leave with neighbour, collect from PO, reschedule to tomorrow, reschedule to day after). 8:52 another text, 'your parcel will be delivered in the next 90 minutes'. And now, about 60 minutes later, I have shiny from CRC! Shame I forgot to get the P-clips I also need, but that's hardly Parcel Force's fault (or even CRC's).
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on October 15, 2014, 05:45:58 pm
TNT

you lying fucking shitbags.

Item out for delivery................wait in all day....................tracking now says 'receiver not home'

I've been sat looking out of the window all fucking day for my EXPRESS delivery. It's EXPRESS because its urgent, and needed quickly.


I've just seen your advert on the tv, rather than pissing money away, lying through your fucking teeth about how great you are, the nobbers pretending to be a fucking truck should be driving a fucking van and fucking delivering.

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on October 15, 2014, 05:51:48 pm
And when I call to see why it's not arrived, stop lying, lying, lying, then passing me around in a fucking circle.

Just tell me you haven't been able to deliver because you're wank.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on October 15, 2014, 06:13:42 pm
We gave up on picture frame number 5. That was 5/5 smashed. Two weren't a little bit smashed, it was like an elephant had pogoed on them. We'll get some glass cut for the survivors. We only wanted one slightly off-sized picture frame.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on October 15, 2014, 07:47:21 pm
Mine hasn't even arrived smashed :P

I've calmed down a little now, it's on an a.m.* for tomorrow. It's not even bike parts, it's needed for work. I've had to ring a customer and give them the bullshit. They probably didn't believe me, even offered them the tracking number :-\

Why don't they just say, sorry, we've not had enough time to get to you. Instead of, we've called but you couldn't be arsed to get to the door.




*it was on an a.m. for today
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CommuteTooFar on October 16, 2014, 01:13:24 pm
I hate Hermes tracking.

It does not give any information it just says "Arrive at hub" "Dispatched from hub" "At Local Depot"
I want to know where I get a sense of my package moving towards me when place names are used.
(or in the case of Yodel my parcels sometimes do a tour of Wales before they get to me)

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on October 16, 2014, 02:47:49 pm
*it was on an a.m. for today

Lying Bastards
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on October 21, 2014, 03:33:19 pm
Nozama!  You said the estimated delivery date for my wossname was Monday October 27th.  So how come it arrived today, eh?  EH?

DPD, you are bastards made of piss ;)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on October 21, 2014, 06:34:21 pm
Mr Larrington might wish to note that almost all orders I have placed with the online store of a certain Global Fruit Company, Cupertino USA, have arrived earlier than scheduled.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on October 21, 2014, 10:00:06 pm
The only physical object I have wanted to buy from the Mega-Global Fruit Corporation of Cupertino, USAnia lately is one they stopped making last month >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Guy on December 12, 2014, 09:36:43 am
Nobody saw this coming

Quote
The courier firm Yodel has stopped collecting parcels from retailers as it struggles to deal with the huge jump in online orders following the Black Friday sales

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-30438498 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-30438498)

I put it in here cos Yodel are generally regarded as shite anyway.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jaded on December 12, 2014, 10:09:23 am
The peril of an unregulated system.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on December 12, 2014, 10:33:32 am
My god, people have to wait for an entire extra day for something.

These are truly the End Times. Reminds me, I have to do my Christmas shopping.

UPS couldn't find our address. There's only two bloody houses with this postcode (and on this street). Parked at the bottom of the drive, I went to the door, and he promptly drove off. Type the postcode into Google maps and there it is (even the house name appears on Google Maps, we must be special, as next door doesn't get a mention). I seem to spend as much time explaining that no, we don't have a house number, just a name as I do explaining that no, my wife has a different surname. (Oh and she's seasonally riled at the cards posted to Mr & Mrs ian.)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bikepacker on December 12, 2014, 11:19:53 am
I live in a small community on a common, none of the 14 or so properties have a number so you may guess the fun we have watching van drivers riding around looking at property names.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Guy on December 12, 2014, 11:28:13 am
That reminds me.

On Wednesday evening I got home from work to find two parcels dumped on my doorstep, addressed to a woman I'd never heard of, with a street name and postcode I didn't recognise. On the UPS-branded address label was a local area BT phone number, so I rang it. The woman I'd never heard ofs husband answered.

To cut a long and boring story short, when the man came to pick up the parcels he told me the UPS online tracking doodad showed these parcels had been delivered and signed for, by his wife (apparently).

He has promised to let me know what UPS say when he accuses them of employing morons who dump parcels on random doorsteps, forge a signature, then drive off.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on December 12, 2014, 12:53:43 pm
Ordered an amplifier1 from that nice Mr Richer on Monday.  3-5 business day delivery option (free).  It would come, they said, today (that's Friday if you're reading this on Dave), or Monday/Tuesday next week.

Text on Thuesday night: we're delivering it tomorrow.

Text on Wednesday morning: we're delivering it between 11:08 and 12:08.

11:15 Wednesday I took possession of a big box with "Pioneer" written on the side in large friendly letters.

Gits >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on December 19, 2014, 03:39:54 pm
Ordered a weight tree for Dearly Beloved from Fitness Superstore on Wednesday (17/12) night.
Receive email stating it had been despatched last night, with working (and comprehensible) tracking reference.
Out for delivery from Borehamwood 08.36.
Delivered at 12.27.

Approximately 20kg package measuring about 8 * 45 * 130cm.
£5.95

Yodel

I really can't grumble but wonder how the couriers treat/pay their drivers.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: jsabine on December 20, 2014, 01:39:36 am
Well, size and weight are not really relevant to the final drop except insofar as they stop the van being filled up and restrict the number of deliveries - your Yodel driver would have had to take the same trouble over an A4 envelope as over your 20kg 4ft high box, albeit it might have been a little easier to lift.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: SteveC on December 25, 2014, 07:52:21 pm
One less (fewer?) to worry about.

http://www.theguardian.com/business/2014/dec/25/city-link-administration-jobs-delivery-company-losses (http://www.theguardian.com/business/2014/dec/25/city-link-administration-jobs-delivery-company-losses)

Crap day to announce the redundancies though.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Deano on January 21, 2015, 06:29:44 pm
I'd be astonished if we have a non-shite couriers thread, so I'll put this here.

Came home to find a card through the door from ParcelForce.

It said they'd try to redeliver tomorrow (when I won't be at home either).

So I was resigned to having to trek over to the howling wastes of Boro for my parcel - until a tap on the door awoke me from my nap, which turned out to be the cheery Parcel Force chap with my parcel. He said his last delivery had been out at Catterick Garrison, so he swung by on his way back east to deliver it.

Good on him :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Sergeant Pluck on February 27, 2015, 03:57:53 pm
Yodel - calling card + extras:

http://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/yodel-delivery-man-used-couples-garden-as-toilet-and-cleaned-himself-with-sorry-you-werent-in-card-10075262.html

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: madcow on February 27, 2015, 04:08:40 pm
Ordered a weight tree for Dearly Beloved from Fitness Superstore on Wednesday (17/12) night.
Receive email stating it had been despatched last night, with working (and comprehensible) tracking reference.
Out for delivery from Borehamwood 08.36.
Delivered at 12.27.

Approximately 20kg package measuring about 8 * 45 * 130cm.
£5.95

Yodel

I really can't grumble but wonder how the couriers treat/pay their drivers.

If you read any of the articles about the demise of City Link, that will give you a good idea.
The drivers lease the van, pay for fuel and then wait 2 months for payment from City Link.
 So all the work they did in the run up to christmas (the busiest period of the year) will not be paid for, whereas City Link's administrators will collect the money due from the clients and some of it will be used to repay the £20 million secured loan due to the venture capitalists that bought the business for £1. The unsecured creditors will get 1p in the £.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on February 27, 2015, 06:30:45 pm
I had two deliveries today; one was due tomorrow and the other "estimated" for next Thursday :o
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on February 27, 2015, 10:04:32 pm
Methinks Mr Larrington ordered the latter from Amazon, which was delivered by Amazon Logistics and lives within Greater Londonton.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on February 28, 2015, 12:16:17 am
Methinks Mr Larrington ordered the latter from Amazon, which was delivered by Amazon Logistics and lives within Greater Londonton.

Both were ordered through Nozama but the very early one was fulfilled by Someone Else.  Can't remember who the courier was.

Edit: Very Early Delivery was from AudioVisual Online and delivered by DPD :o
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on February 28, 2015, 08:56:12 am
I sit hedumacated...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Andrij on July 22, 2015, 03:52:51 pm
(https://www.talkphotography.co.uk/proxy.php?image=https%3A%2F%2Fscontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-xpf1%2Fv%2Ft1.0-9%2F10156027_10152324294423699_1117903532_n.png%3Foh%3D7635b39d244b4d1768907355200d5261%26oe%3D5618352D&hash=3aeae1330565085d9279c44720ab61f3)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Polar Bear on July 22, 2015, 04:00:34 pm
I have to say that I have been a long time critic of shite couriers.   Jason from DPD was absolutely excellent and mllePB got her package within the hour window quoted. 

Begrudging acknowledgement of excellence by DPD.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: asterix on July 23, 2015, 09:29:39 am
Deusche Post AG

I bought some special bolts from a German ebayer.  On the 25th June he/she despatched them by Deutsche Post and they arrived on the 21st July.

It is partly the seller's fault as they must have known of the strike but didn't tell me until I asked where the item had got to.

On the 5th July I bought another item from Germany and it was delivered inside 3 days by DHL (owned by Deutsche Post)!

Nevertheless, I'd urge anyone thinking of using German postal services to be very wary as I don't think the strike issues are resolved.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on August 13, 2015, 03:59:10 pm
A new bike was being delivered today by DX.

tracking was okay last night, showing as tracked into the senders nearest depot. Today the tracking number doesn't exist. I've contacted the DiX couriers, they reckon it's been delivered and signed for at another house, 300+ miles from my address. They have no knowledge of it ever being sent out to me anyway. Strange one that, they sent me an email last night with the tracking number and my house details.

Wank.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on August 13, 2015, 04:03:22 pm
Have you contacted the vendor?
This is real 5h!te!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on August 13, 2015, 04:05:18 pm
it's Wiggle, 24hrs to reply  :-\

if its a mistake, fine. If it's been added to someone's fleet, I hope their legs drop off.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on August 13, 2015, 05:53:29 pm
contacted Wiggle via live chat, DX have gone home  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on August 14, 2015, 11:25:41 am
Apparently DX had delivered it to the wrong address, somebody must've thought Christmas had arrived early!!

The address I was told is the other end of the country, it's coming to me today. I don't know how that's going to happen unless somebody picked it up from that house last night!!



Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on August 14, 2015, 07:43:37 pm
hoo(feckin')ray!!

arrived, box undone but taped back up, bike untouched. Perhaps they didn't want it because it was only a cheapo hybrid ;D

I now have a dedicated bike for towing the trailer :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on August 14, 2015, 08:57:05 pm
I am pleased/relieved/amazed you got the bike so soon...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on August 14, 2015, 09:06:57 pm
Me too. They must've collected it from the wrong address last night. Nobody really knew where it was this morning but they put it on a van today without any tracking of the box :facepalm:

Disaster averted, it'll be towing the dog trailer tomorrow.

I wish they'd use dpd for everything, don't have any issues with them. Plus they give you an hour delivery slot.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Aidan on September 04, 2015, 12:18:34 pm
I currently have a courier driver sitting outside.  He delivered a parcel a few minutes ago, and while I was signing his machine for it he went and got the second parcel.  As I handed his machine back to him it flashed up that he had to take 20 minutes break. and won't let him scan the parcel until he has. So he is currently sitting outside and bringing my second parcel back in about 15 minutes ;D


I suppose its a good thing that they make the drivers take breaks, but between parcels for the same address?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on September 04, 2015, 12:25:44 pm
The thing is that they then drive around like lunatics trying to make up the time, because they've still got to make all those deliveries.

Couriers seem to have stopped bothering knocking on my door and just leave the parcel on the doorstep. I presume the walk up the steep drive makes the effort of knocking too much for them. It's kind of handy, I suppose, though it's also visible from the road and some passing scrote might eventually think he's qualified for a free gift and help himself. Mind you, yesterday I came home to find the cat asleep on top of the parcel. I presume that passes for guard duty in the feline world.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Steph on September 04, 2015, 09:38:42 pm
I am STILL reading the title of this thread as "Shi'ite couriers"
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Feanor on September 14, 2015, 11:11:11 pm
And tonight's winner is....
<opens envelope and pulls out 'Sorry we missed you card>...

DX!

Your contact options for re-arranging delivery or collection are limited to web or premium-rate call to a robot.

Web: After completing the form, I'm presented with an IIS error page full of SQL errors from the back-end database. Excellent.

Phone: After tens of minutes trying to get the robot's voice recognition to work, it tries to look up my work postcode. ( This is not a new postcode or anything weird.) Hangs up at this point, and eventually says 'I'm sorry, we having a technical problem', and hangs up on me.

And that's it.
What a useless uncontactable bunch of twunts.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: iddu on September 15, 2015, 12:44:24 am
:
What a useless uncontactable bunch of twunts.

Try
Name:
    DX

Address:
    Dx House, The Ridgeway
Postcode/City:
    SL0 9JQ Iver
County:
    Buckinghamshire

Phone:
    01753 630630
Fax:
    01753 631631
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on September 15, 2015, 01:07:02 pm
According to order tracking, the fucknuggets at Hermes tried to deliver a parcel to me at 1037 on Sunday (I was in, and nobody tried to deliver anything) and posted it through my letterbox yesterday. They didn't. Wankspanners.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on September 25, 2015, 11:50:13 am
When it comes to couriers, I must be the most unlucky git on the planet.

or

All couriers are truly shite

https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=51052.msg1924049#msg1924049
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on September 26, 2015, 09:31:22 am
What a shower of shite they are!!

camera 1 - lost

camera 2 - out for delivery on a 9.00am today.

They only forgot to load it onto the van :facepalm:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on October 06, 2015, 11:50:10 am
According to DPD I'm not in. Which begs the question, where actually am I then?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: menthel on October 06, 2015, 12:00:38 pm
According to DPD I'm not in. Which begs the question, where actually am I then?

Inside a box with some poison. They didn't want to open it and kill you...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on October 06, 2015, 12:47:24 pm
Admittedly not wanting to collapse a state of quantum indeterminacy would be a cut above the average courier excuse.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: andrewc on October 14, 2015, 06:25:10 pm
Bloody DPD    For some reason they won't put the small item I've ordered through my letterbox, and when I tried to get it delivered to one of their local pick up points they agreed, then came back & said it was unsuitable.   I'm not trekking out to their depot >:(     
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: jsabine on October 14, 2015, 09:36:03 pm
On the other hand DPD texted me on Monday to confirm that an item I'd ordered would be delivered on Tuesday, then yesterday morning to let me know that it would be delivered between 11:12 and 12:12.

Two (or maybe three) clicks on their website let me ask them to deliver it to any neighbour (I could have been more specific, but didn't know who was likely to be in), an email confirmed that this would be done, then a text at 11:54 told me which neighbour had taken it in.

I'm more than happy with DPD.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on October 17, 2015, 08:47:46 am
I appreciate your conscientiousness, O postie, I really do.  But trying to deliver a package at 07:45 on a Saturday is a bit optimistic, wouldn't you say?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on October 17, 2015, 02:26:06 pm
Harking back to the past .... some of the City Link managers are being taken to some sort of court over the handling of the sudden closure/job losses last Christmas.

AND Royal Mail usually serves me well BUT three times this week the postman has left items hanging out of the letterbox (using the spring on the flap to hold them) .... OK, marks gained for initiative but lost for not thinking that we might be away and the items would be an advertisement for our absence.

Rob
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on October 17, 2015, 08:47:13 pm
I had to eat a big slice of humble pie because my previous rant contained a big fat lie. The courier had been (they take a picture to prove it, and I can't even snark about it being from Google because I had put a new house sign up that day) but the doorbell had inexplicably failed.

OK, he could have knocked.

As is the nature of modern technology, I switched the doorbell on and off and it now works.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Tim Hall on October 17, 2015, 08:53:13 pm
I had to eat a big slice of humble pie because my previous rant contained a big fat lie. The courier had been (they take a picture to prove it, and I can't even snark about it being from Google because I had put a new house sign up that day) but the doorbell had inexplicably failed.

OK, he could have knocked.

As is the nature of modern technology, I switched the doorbell on and off and it now works.
I bet it's a wireless doorbell. They're shite IME. Always losing the connection or going quiet.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on October 17, 2015, 09:25:44 pm
I had to eat a big slice of humble pie because my previous rant contained a big fat lie. The courier had been (they take a picture to prove it, and I can't even snark about it being from Google because I had put a new house sign up that day) but the doorbell had inexplicably failed.

OK, he could have knocked.

As is the nature of modern technology, I switched the doorbell on and off and it now works.
I bet it's a wireless doorbell. They're shite IME. Always losing the connection or going quiet.

Yup, that's the birdy.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on October 18, 2015, 10:27:24 am
I had to eat a big slice of humble pie because my previous rant contained a big fat lie. The courier had been (they take a picture to prove it, and I can't even snark about it being from Google because I had put a new house sign up that day) but the doorbell had inexplicably failed.

OK, he could have knocked.

As is the nature of modern technology, I switched the doorbell on and off and it now works.
I bet it's a wireless doorbell. They're shite IME. Always losing the connection or going quiet.

Yup, that's the birdy.

Ah - we have a wireless door bell (with 2 chimers) that seems to consume batteries at an inconsistent rate, or decide not to work until they've been shaken to, presumably, re-establish battery contact ... just bought a mains set - one push with battery, two chimes that look like 13amp plugs and, well, just plug in .... with 30, yes 30 chime options words/tunes to choose from ... we'll see if they're any good.

Hopefully the frequency differs will be enough to stop the issue we have from time to time with car remote locking signals sometimes ringing our doorbell  ???

Rob
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on October 18, 2015, 01:56:29 pm
I reluctantly gave up on wireless doorbells because they're all shite[1].  You know where you are with a wire, and more importantly, so do the electrons.

Plus, if the bell-push is illuminated (impractical when battery powered) it provides a cue to the shite couriers that it might actually be connected and working.  (I've gone a step beyond that and rigged it to flash angrily in response to a knock sensor[2] on the door.)

The downside is that the glowing bell-push is occasionally too tempting for the late night drunken zombies to resist a game of Knock Down Ginger[3], but I'd rather have that than miss deliveries.


[1] Batteries and ISM band wireless being a recipe for things that don't work properly.
[2] False-positives too often (wind, neighbours door and people slamming car doors nearby) to trigger the bell directly.
[3] Other regional variations are available.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on October 18, 2015, 06:18:56 pm
It's a plug-in wireless jobbie, courtesy of Siemens, which disappointingly doesn't feature a suitably teutonic Ride of the Valkyrie's chime amongst the many (which are all awful and sound like someone dropping frogs on a failing Bontempi) selections.

Most couriers just leave stuff on the step or around the side of the house*, so I was exciting to find this one needed a signature. Except it didn't, the bloke just shoved it in my hand and ran off. It turned out to be six jars of chutney.

*Still the best one was Yodel and the treasure map showing the way to the back of my house and an x marking the spot on the kitchen doorstep where the parcel was to be found.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: andrewc on October 23, 2015, 06:17:55 pm
Bloody DPD    For some reason they won't put the small item I've ordered through my letterbox, and when I tried to get it delivered to one of their local pick up points they agreed, then came back & said it was unsuitable.   I'm not trekking out to their depot >:(   

After umpteen emails & a very offhand phone conversation my package was finally left in the communal lobby of my flat,  where I asked them to leave it 12 days ago.

At least some  of the blame lies with the vendor, who chose to put a light bracket that would fit in a small jiffy bag into an 8" x 8" x 2" box  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: DDCyclist on October 23, 2015, 06:25:04 pm
Why am I not surprised that this tread starts with a complaint about MyHerpes?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on October 23, 2015, 10:06:45 pm
This morning I delivered a sack truck load of reams of paper and other non-specific boxes of stuff from a medical supply company to the GP surgery at the end of the road.

Someone somewhere had been using handwriting for critical data[0], and 'A' had been parsed as '4'[1] when entering the address on the shipping label, causing the UPS driver to ignore all the obvious clues[3][4] and attempt to deliver it to our neighbours.  Who weren't in.

And this evening I had to explain to our confused neighbour why I no longer had the mystery parcel that UPS had left him a card for.


[0] ETA: With hindsight, this is the NHS, so I've no idea why I thought this was in any way remarkable.
[1] This is a new one for us, as we usually get the ones[2] where 'a' has been parsed as '2'.
[2] Usually hand-addressed envelopes containing confidential medical data, rather than parcels of office supplies.
[3] Full name of the surgery on the address label, big building with matching name in big friendly letters on it across the road, name of medical supply company on the boxes, that sort of thing.
[4] To be fair, barakta missed all this too, when she signed for the delivery.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: barakta on October 23, 2015, 10:44:19 pm
Too busy trying to parse very quietly spoken delivery man who wasn't making any sense. I must have asked him to repeat himself about 3 times...  Says a lot about my ability to parse uncontextualised strangers.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on October 24, 2015, 09:26:58 am
Had a letter the other day.  The house number and city corresponded to Larrington Towers and it had got wet so the ink had run a bit, but not so badly as to make "N5" look remotely like "E17" ???
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Pedaldog on November 07, 2015, 11:32:20 pm
Friday. expecting 3 parcels with the normal postie but he only brought one. He told me that the others would probably be "Out in the van later". I knew they were signed for so I actually stayed in all afternoon waiting. Nothing came so I assumed there might have been a delay and expected them this morning. Postie called today to give e a "We tried to call...." red card. It sounds a bit suspicious that they "Tried to call" without me hearing them at the door on Friday afternoon and they obviously forgot to put the red card through my letterbox themselves and asked the Postie if he'd mind dropping off said card, asking me to go out to the depot and collect the stuff myself. I got the card today a half hour before the Post Office depot closed so will now have to wait until Monday.
With that sort of, reputation building, Shite service I'm given to wondering Who would buy the Ferkin' Post Office?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on November 08, 2015, 12:37:34 am
Yamaha Music London used a single-handed chap to deliver our boxed Clavinova last Tuesday at 20.00.

129kg lump measuring about 160x75x80cm dumped in our hallway.

Not really the courier's fault but lousy customer service...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on November 26, 2015, 11:14:49 am
An unspecified courier has just delivered 2/3 of barakta's new desk.  Or at least that's what I hope it is.  Could be a robotic exoskeleton kit by the weight.  Anyway, they've gone to look for the rest of it.

An ergo-bollocks[1] specialist is coming tomorrow morning to set it all up, so I'm predicting the obvious...



[1] You can tell she doesn't have a high opinion of adaptive ergonomic equipment, can't you?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Torslanda on November 26, 2015, 12:14:51 pm
Not necessarily shite but certainly uneccessary. Every time I receive parcels via certain couriers, shortly after I receive an email or text which reads SATLO 'Your parcel has been delivered...'

I can see the point for proxy deliveries but on site & signed for?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on November 26, 2015, 12:30:27 pm
Not necessarily shite but certainly uneccessary. Every time I receive parcels via certain couriers, shortly after I receive an email or text which reads SATLO 'Your parcel has been delivered...'

I can see the point for proxy deliveries but on site & signed for?

Easier and less error-prone to send a message than to work out whether to send a message.  I'm certainly not complaining, and am hoping that this technology will evolve into "we've just delivered the parcel before yours in the round" notifications, so you can hold off going to the loo at the wrong moment.

IIRC ?UPS allow you to set up an account associated with your address, so you can tweak notification options.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Wombat on November 26, 2015, 12:36:57 pm
But have you tried tussling with UPS' website, Kim?

Grim and unhelpful just doesn't do it justice.  Designed by the publicity department of MI6, I think (i.e. to avoid giving any information).
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on November 26, 2015, 12:47:27 pm
But have you tried tussling with UPS' website, Kim?

Yes, I got bored and gave up.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on November 26, 2015, 01:11:08 pm
An unspecified courier has just delivered 2/3 of barakta's new desk...

Does it count as grink if you type it into TextRelay?  Regardless, that's what barakta is currently subjecting TNT to.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: TimC on November 26, 2015, 03:48:11 pm
Not necessarily shite but certainly uneccessary. Every time I receive parcels via certain couriers, shortly after I receive an email or text which reads SATLO 'Your parcel has been delivered...'

I can see the point for proxy deliveries but on site & signed for?

Quite useful when they've delivered to the wrong place. You have a fighting chance of getting it resolved while the driver's not too far away.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Torslanda on November 26, 2015, 04:16:45 pm
Like when Bumper's new bike got delivered to Northampton . . .  :demon:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mike on November 26, 2015, 05:17:01 pm
yesterday: got a text from interlink to say my delivery will arrive tomorrow, 'click here' to change date. I clicked and changed to Monday because I'm out tomorrow.

Confirmation text arrives almost instantly.

this morning:  text from them to say 'your parcel is at the depot for you to collect, click here to see where the Cambridge depot is'.  Pleasant surprise it was early balanced by the arseache of having to go and get it, but I could sneak out at lunchtime on the bike and get some coffee at the same time... Except I clicked and the Cambridge depot is in Chatteris, 25 miles away.

Emailed retailer. They said Interlink will refuse to speak to them if it's not the depot nearest the retailer and I had to call myself. 

Called, she said (direct quote) 'Oops, Geoff's put it in the wrong pile.. sorry!  it'll be with you on Monday'.

bloody geoff.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on November 26, 2015, 05:31:08 pm
An unspecified courier has just delivered 2/3 of barakta's new desk...

Does it count as grink if you type it into TextRelay?  Regardless, that's what barakta is currently subjecting TNT to.

I've just got home, and she's still doing it.  With added boabwords.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: barakta on November 26, 2015, 06:03:49 pm
After claiming in an entirely non believable way that it would TOTES be with me by 9am at lunch time I said this wasn't good enough as I didn't trust them. As I couldn't stay on the line to harangue them (cos I had to give a deaf awareness session) they promised to email me.

They didn't email me, I phoned back at about 4:45pm and spent a further 45 mins on the relay talking to variety of people. Such competence. "We don't know who the sender is" "we don't have a full delivery address" "we don't actually know where the item is" $Excuse $Excuse. Eventually they admitted it was TOTALLY lost and can take up to 3 days to find IF they can find it.

So much for my 10am ergonomic setup slot... Rather pissed off as it means lots of heavy crap all over our dining room, a whole new delivery faff + rearranging setup... And means even longer till I have the ergo kit I need. 

NOT Very Happy with TNT!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on November 26, 2015, 06:36:35 pm
...and there's a SEP field that prohibits me from mantling any of it.   :(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on November 26, 2015, 06:40:45 pm
Like when Bumper's new bike got delivered to Northampton . . .  :demon:

 :hand: :hand: :hand: :hand: DON'T TEMPT FATE

I've got a new bike coming from planetx, hopefully!
I'm trying to not even think about it, something will go tits up. It always does.

I'm lucky like that :facepalm:

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Torslanda on November 27, 2015, 12:18:23 am
Mea Culpa!

**wanders off mumbling about 'Bloody cyclists always got money for new bikes...' <grumble grumble>
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on November 27, 2015, 08:01:54 am
Mea Culpa!

**wanders off mumbling about 'Bloody cyclists always got money for new bikes...' <grumble grumble>

stop yer whingin'

I've got some stuff for you next time you're over this way :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on November 27, 2015, 09:15:28 am
Quite useful when they've delivered to the wrong place. You have a fighting chance of getting it resolved while the driver's not too far away.

Yep, I got an email from DPD saying "we've left it with your neighbour at no. 7" with an accompanying photograph...  except it clearly wasn't our neighbours. So I was able to contact them immediately. It helped that I knew exactly where he HAD dropped it off - we're in "Buckland" and the house he left it at is 800m away in "Buckland Wharf". It's a confusion that happens enough to know what's going on. It can however be somewhat worrying - I got home one night to find a "For Sale" board in the front garden! Luckily my wife was still talking to me, and it was a case of mistaken property identity  ;D
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on November 27, 2015, 11:54:48 am
After claiming in an entirely non believable way that it would TOTES be with me by 9am...

Code: [Select]
10:35:17 <front_room> There's somebody at the door!
'nuff said.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: sg37409 on November 30, 2015, 04:00:36 pm
Warning: May contain Clarkson.

http://www.amazon.com/b?node=8037720011
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: DDCyclist on November 30, 2015, 04:15:16 pm
The last thing I'd want is a bucketful of Clarkson's shite. Especially one delivered by drone. 
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: David Martin on December 05, 2015, 04:37:50 pm
Argghh,,

Amazon Prime, seem to be unable to deliver in two days, let alone next day.

And as for not being able to find my daughters flat.. Lack of braincell or effort.

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: DDCyclist on December 05, 2015, 04:46:06 pm
The last thing I'd want is a bucketful of Clarkson's shite. Especially one delivered by drone. 

My apologies. I've just remembered. Clarkson's shite is always delivered by drone.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: spesh on December 05, 2015, 05:00:59 pm
The last thing I'd want is a bucketful of Clarkson's shite. Especially one delivered by drone.

The opening scene from Smokey & The Bandit 2 springs to mind, where a trio of  B-25 Mitchells make a "fertiliser" bombing run.  ;D
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on December 05, 2015, 05:31:38 pm
Argghh,,

Amazon Prime, seem to be unable to deliver in two days, let alone next day.

Barakta ordered some stuff via Amazon Prime on Monday.  It promised delivery on Wednesday.  On Wednesday morning the tracking showed that it had been loaded onto a van.  Which is where it remained until this afternoon (Saturday).  This is in spite of various moaning by barakta.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: David Martin on December 05, 2015, 06:17:00 pm
This probably reflects the race to the bottom and poor practices by the logistics industry. Still waiting for the parcel promised today.

Coming by Hermes.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on December 05, 2015, 06:39:39 pm
Barakta has, quite reasonably, pointed out that although Black Friday isn't a thing in the UK, many of Amazon's customers may not have got the message.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: sg37409 on December 05, 2015, 06:41:31 pm
Barakta has, quite reasonably, pointed out that although Black Friday isn't a thing in the UK, many of Amazon's customers may not have got the message.

Sadly, it is a thing in the UK.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: barakta on December 05, 2015, 07:49:21 pm
I will be issuing a grink to scamazon over my parcel cos they knew they wouldn't be able to deliver on time when I ordered and then lied to me repeatedly. For all the good it'll do. My prime is a student 6 month trial and I'm not feeling inclined to pay for it. I'd have gone to the evil shop hadi known Amazon would not deliver properly. I needed the item on wed not SAT... And had waiting for delivery staying in for 4 days cos of lies.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: David Martin on December 05, 2015, 08:21:32 pm
They have admitted defeat and claim it will now be delivered some time between tomorrow and wednesday.
When I am not at home.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on December 07, 2015, 10:05:06 am
I can't complain, during my recent hair cutting disaster (remember thought leadership demands tidy hair), I ordered a fancy new Wahl clipper at about 11am and it arrived at 7pm, thus meaning I arrived looking mostly not like someone who had escaped from a high security psychiatric institution.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: David Martin on December 07, 2015, 09:43:53 pm
It arrived first thing sunday morning.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: barakta on December 08, 2015, 01:26:11 am
My lamp is rather good, might get a second for reading dead trees with (to keep colour temps the same) but will make a point of ordering from NotAmazonTM >:(

I got an obsequious email in response to my "not fucking happy" chat with not very good English speaker on text chat several days ago. 6k sociology essay with b0rked arm overrides writing the mother of all grinks back as I don't fancy Dragonning Grinks. I'm not dragonning the damned essay either!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Feanor on December 08, 2015, 05:28:16 pm
Un-shite courier:

I ordered an item of jewellery from South Uist at lunchtime yesterday.
It arrived in this morning's post at my work.

RM Special Delivery.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: menthel on December 09, 2015, 01:11:42 pm
Amazon very kindly left a couple of parcels in my "safe place". I haven't specified one but apparently that is in my bin wedged up against the front door on its side. Luckily it was only a monitor lead and a mouse mat.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: pcolbeck on December 09, 2015, 01:27:10 pm
Royal Mail if they cant deliver because we aren't in and it needs signing for kindly leave the parcel at the post office - in a village 15 miles away !
There is a market town with a post office 5 miles away but they don't use that for some unknown reason.

Last Christmas I did the 30 mile round trip to find I had to sign for a Christmas card that an aged aunt hadn't put the correct postage on .....
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mcshroom on December 09, 2015, 01:39:19 pm
Royal Mail if they cant deliver because we aren't in and it needs signing for kindly leave the parcel at the post office - in a village 15 miles away !
There is a market town with a post office 5 miles away but they don't use that for some unknown reason.

Last Christmas I did the 30 mile round trip to find I had to sign for a Christmas card that an aged aunt hadn't put the correct postage on .....


Where I am Parcel Force are the only ones that leave stuff at the post office (0.5 miles away). Everyone else has depots in Penrith/Carlisle which means a >2hr, and 100 mile round trip to collect any parcels.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: sg37409 on December 14, 2015, 05:36:59 pm
Un-shite courier:

I ordered an item of jewellery from South Uist at lunchtime yesterday.
It arrived in this morning's post at my work.

RM Special Delivery.

I was looking around for an Xmas present, and based on this, I looked up said jewellers and ordered a necklace. I hope to have as good a courier experience.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on December 15, 2015, 02:01:59 pm
so it begins............

pre-delivery email.

Your item will be delivered before 12.00 today

It's just turned 2.00pm and it's not here.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on December 15, 2015, 02:36:46 pm
Nobody has a clue who the driver is today on this route.
They don't have his phone number ( considering they don't know who he is*, this was obvious )

this is the same courier who delivered my last bike to the other end of the country.


*bollox

I ordered something else from Belgium yesterday. It was delivered at lunchtime today.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on December 15, 2015, 02:45:04 pm
Un-shite courier: RM Special Delivery.
Those packets get extra special care from yer postie. I had to sign individually for them and it was a very high priority to get them there before 1pm, even at the expense of delivering other stuff later.
Last Christmas I did the 30 mile round trip to find I had to sign for a Christmas card that an aged aunt hadn't put the correct postage on...
I used to tell people I delivered those grey cards to that if it were for that amount, the reason was almost certainly the same as you described. I then said it was up to them to judge if the trip to the sorting office was worthwhile.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on December 15, 2015, 03:28:43 pm
just had a phone call, they've tried to deliver it this morning.

Like F***

I've had 8 other deliveries today. I've been sat here waiting for this one, it's the only one on an a.m. delivery. He'll see if he's got time to deliver on his way home, twat.

DX strikes again!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on December 15, 2015, 05:09:24 pm
Bloody postie woke me up this morning - I've never got out of bed and down two flights of stairs so quickly.  He'd already put the card through the letterbox but I managed to get the front door open before he'd seen himself off the premises.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on December 15, 2015, 06:29:27 pm
FUCK ME!

It's arrived damaged. The handlebars have smacked the top tube!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Torslanda on December 16, 2015, 01:03:16 am
 :-X
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on December 16, 2015, 01:49:01 pm
Another farce with Wiggle on the go. They are the most unhelpful people I've ever dealt with. I've told them to delete my account. Once this is dealt with I will never even buy a tube from them, never, ever ever again. I've just checked my yearly spend with them, it's lots. If it was their business/money they were losing, the new one would be here tomorrow.

They want this one back to 'check it'. They won't post the other out until this is okayed. The other has got to be prepped then sent out. Can't guarantee next week because they're 'busy', so we're looking at after new year. It's policy, they do this with everyone.

So that's CRC and Wiggle that have shafted me bikes.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mcshroom on December 16, 2015, 06:09:19 pm
I think this is time for John to mention LBSs ;)

Sorry to hear about your bike bumper
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on December 16, 2015, 06:43:37 pm
I use my lbs, he just couldn't get the bike I wanted. His are also 3 times the cost and carbon with a curved top tube, which I've just sold  :(

I got a bit shitty on the phone earlier, which didn't help.  I just got sick of hearing 'it's our policy' after every single one of my sentences. They haven't been willing to give any help whatsoever. I was told one thing yesterday and a completely different thing today. I'm still waiting for them to ring me about the collection of this thing, it's filling the entire room. That means my wife is also giving me aggro!

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mcshroom on December 16, 2015, 08:25:59 pm
This time Royal Mail. I have a notification that one present I've ordered was posted 1st class on the 9th. It's still not here. The present (which I needed tomorrow) seems to have disappeared into the ether.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Torslanda on December 16, 2015, 09:35:12 pm
I think this is time for John to mention LBSs ;)

Sorry to hear about your bike bumper

How many times have you composed a reply and then deleted it rather than posting . . . ?

This is the first time someone else posted what I'd deleted 2 or 3 times already.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on December 17, 2015, 04:23:14 pm
I think it's being sorted out.

After lots of ''discussion' :-\

It's just got to be delivered without getting damaged by some nobber driver.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on December 17, 2015, 05:32:58 pm
If you get the option, ask for UPS. I deal with most of the firms and UPS are by far the most professional of our motley bunch. YMMV.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ElyDave on December 18, 2015, 02:41:01 pm
parcelforce fuckwits left a box clearly marked as from Roche Diabetes care my back doorstep with no card through the door.  Don't know when it was left there as I've not been out the back door since Wednesday
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on December 18, 2015, 02:49:29 pm
If you get the option, ask for UPS. I deal with most of the firms and UPS are by far the most professional of our motley bunch. YMMV.

I imagine it'll be the same delivery idiots. I may go and collect it from the depot, they'll probably stick it on another van just to piss me off.

After being a complete disaster, my complaining may have sorted this out. I've moaned via email and phone every hour, well every other hour. Being a Mr. Nice Guy doesn't get you anywhere in life, I may start being shitty with everything that goes t!ts up.

My new shiny should be here Monday or Tuesday...................
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: cpcnw on December 18, 2015, 07:38:48 pm
Is there actually a 'recommended courier' thread?

Seriously... I want to send a folding bike in a box and as I have never sent a bike before could do with some helpful pointers :)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on December 18, 2015, 07:45:43 pm
Avoid DPD, Hermes, Yodel, UK Mail, Interlink.

UPS and Parcelforce have dedicated vans to handle larger stuff and their drivers I deal with are salaried and not paid per parcel. The ones above seem to be self-employed and paid per delivery, so speed is more important than quality to them.

I know you want it fast, but if you can wait a while after xmas the quality of delivery will increase significantly as all the self employed chancers will have been laid off.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jurek on December 18, 2015, 07:51:31 pm
My experience of Hermes is nothing other than faultless.
I appreciate that YMMV.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on December 19, 2015, 10:57:48 am
Porcelfarce did once righteously bugger up a delivery for me, resulting in the item making an unecessary trip from Walthamstow to Harlow.

Via Seattle :facepalm:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: DDCyclist on December 19, 2015, 11:32:32 am
Harlow/Seattle. Easy mistake to make.  ;D
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: TimC on December 19, 2015, 11:38:20 am
Is there actually a 'recommended courier' thread?

Seriously... I want to send a folding bike in a box and as I have never sent a bike before could do with some helpful pointers :)

I've used Paisley Freight. £23.50 next day. The only issues I've had have been down to my poor packing!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on December 19, 2015, 11:42:19 am
My experience of Hermes is nothing other than faultless.
I appreciate that YMMV.
My recommendations were based on the delivery of larger items, but I take your point for smaller items. I would only entrust my own larger valuables to UPS or Parcelforce. I have seen how the others handle their goods first hand and it ain't pretty.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on December 19, 2015, 11:47:55 am
Harlow/Seattle. Easy mistake to make.  ;D
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: jsabine on December 19, 2015, 11:57:45 am
My experience of Hermes is nothing other than faultless.
I appreciate that YMMV.
My recommendations were based on the delivery of larger items, but I take your point for smaller items. I would only entrust my own larger valuables to UPS or Parcelforce. I have seen how the others handle their goods first hand and it ain't pretty.

I think it's almost impossible to generalise, especially from experiences as a recipient or a low volume sender, as the experience seems so dependent on the quality and attitude of your local depot.

DPD has been excellent for me both as a recipient and with a couple of parcels to Ireland; Parcelforce used to be good but then closed the depot that was just down the road, and I've had poorer service from the new one as a recipient, though they've been fine with a couple of pickups. Small packages I tend to give to MyHermes or the other one that lets you drop off at a local shop and have no complaints so far.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on December 19, 2015, 12:28:29 pm
Unfortunately, my job entails receiving lots of parcels on an industrial scale. UPS, in particular, seem to take great care of their items, but maybe that's down to the driver who seems very professional, although their whole approach builds confidence.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on December 19, 2015, 08:07:25 pm
Unfortunately, my job entails receiving lots of parcels on an industrial scale. UPS, in particular, seem to take great care of their items, but maybe that's down to the driver who seems very professional, although their whole approach builds confidence.

Have to agree on UPS - our local chap knows me and if he spots me on foot in the town he'll give a friendly wave from his van ... and if he has a package for me stop the van and find it.  Excellent. 

Upside is that the same bloke has been on the SuA round for about 12 years.

Rob
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on December 20, 2015, 11:25:39 am
It depends, if you know the delivery person they can be ace. At our old place most stuff seemed to come via the late, unlamented Citilink, so we knew the driver and if I wasn't in, he give me a call to ask what to do. We get a lot from Hermes here, which actually seems to be him-and-her team, and they're great, they know where to leave stuff etc.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mcshroom on December 20, 2015, 05:49:00 pm
Ok good effort in getting a local shop to hold onto my parcel so I don't have to go to the UPS depot in Carlisle for it. Picking a shop that's only open Mon-Fri 9-5 because I wasn't in on a week day is a bit stupid though, no?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Tigerrr on December 21, 2015, 06:41:12 am
I think the delivery drivers are unsung heroes. Paid peanuts, work long hours and generally get the stuff delivered.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on December 21, 2015, 02:29:41 pm
Yebbut this thread mostly describes times when they don't get stuff delivered.
Which is not infrequent.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Pickled Onion on December 22, 2015, 06:21:33 pm
"We tried to deliver your parcel but no-one was in so we left it at <actual delivery address>"

"??? there's someone in waiting for you"

"Actually, we didn't deliver your parcel, there was no-one in."

"???"

"Here's a picture of the house to prove we tried to deliver:"

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on December 22, 2015, 06:34:01 pm
They really are shite, a random photo of a random door :facepalm:



I'm trying to avoid reading this thread. I've got a first class recorded missing from Friday,  a parcel for work that the courier hasn't had time to deliver................................

and the saga continues, DiX are delivering my new bike again tomorrow :-\
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mcshroom on December 22, 2015, 06:41:04 pm
Ok good effort in getting a local shop to hold onto my parcel so I don't have to go to the UPS depot in Carlisle for it. Picking a shop that's only open Mon-Fri 9-5 because I wasn't in on a week day is a bit stupid though, no?

Collected this parcel from the Laundrette. Process was fine but strange place to pick. My royal mail parcel is still missing however.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on December 22, 2015, 06:57:51 pm
Two parcels delivered by the good offices of Mega-Global Big River Corporation of Seattle, USAnia Logistics both arrived a day early.  Nothing to rant about at all chiz >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mcshroom on December 22, 2015, 06:59:28 pm
;D
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on December 23, 2015, 09:14:35 am
I can't find your house! What road are you on? That's why then.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on December 23, 2015, 11:47:30 am
Two parcels delivered by the good offices of Mega-Global Big River Corporation of Seattle, USAnia Logistics both arrived a day early.  Nothing to rant about at all chiz >:(

I too have had precipitous delivery from The Big River.
In one case, a gift reached its recipient before the text I sent...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on December 23, 2015, 12:29:13 pm
And again.

Top tip, delivery drivers. If you're on a road with a different name to the one in my address you're unlikely to find my house on it. That's how addresses work.

The first bit is the same, so says he with the parcel when he arrives at the door.

Again, that's still not how it works. It's not fuzzy matching.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: tiermat on December 23, 2015, 12:35:53 pm
@ian, this is where the correcthorsebatterystaple addressing system comes in.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on December 23, 2015, 12:50:21 pm
WOOOHOOOOOO

My new bike has arrived safely, so has the missing first class parcel.

The work one is still MIA but I couldn't give a toss, I'm  now finished until after Xmas ;D
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on December 23, 2015, 01:07:31 pm
@ian, this is where the correcthorsebatterystaple addressing system comes in.

They'd only deliver to the first thing with correcthorse in it.

Seems to be a common problem with professional drivers of all types.  "27 Oxbridge Road" becomes mentally truncated to "27 Oxbridge", and the parcel/pizza/taxi ends up at 27 Oxbridge Avenue on the other side of town.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on December 23, 2015, 01:14:38 pm
Indeed the problem. I'm on So-and-so Road, the say. I don't live on So-and-so Road. I live on So-and-so something else. They seem genuinely puzzled by this phenomenon. But it's so-and-so! Possibly they live in a special universe of couriers were streets, roads, crescents, avenues, are all interchangeable.

The rest of us don't. At least they call.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on December 23, 2015, 01:54:13 pm
I'm not quite bored enough to obtain a pile of data from Openstreetmap and wrangle it in an attempt to determine what the real world failure rate of this strategy is likely to be.  But Christmas is coming, so who knows.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on December 23, 2015, 02:08:13 pm
Yes, but think how exactly much worse it would be if Bono was in charge.

The white one, with the unusually long sleeves.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on December 31, 2015, 05:02:45 pm
Amazon Logistics, Lt. Col. Larrington (retd.) was very surprised to learn that his new mouse had been "handed to resident".

Because it wasn't.

It was sitting on the doorstep and had been for four and a half hours when I rang him to check he'd got it just now >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: TimC on January 01, 2016, 01:11:22 pm
ParcelForce. Generally, I've had good service from them so I'll regard this as an aberration, but they apparently attempted to deliver a parcel yesterday morning. The card helpfully tells me they've left it for me to 'collect from your local Post office branch'. But it's not at my local PO, which is half a mile away. Neither is it at the local ParcelForce depot, about 2 miles away. It's at a Post Office 4 miles away in another town. WTF???
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on January 09, 2016, 02:21:39 pm
So, my washing up was interrupted by the dulcet tones of Rod Hull and his menagerie of drama students.  There's somebody at the door!  And so there was.  Parcel for number 10?  Sure, no problem.

Back to the kitchen sink, and I've barely made a dent in the concretabix when Rod starts up again.

"I think that was for a different road."  Says he.  I examine the parcel.  So it is.  I hand it back, and explain that it's the one parallel to the Brizzle Road, cunningly hidden behind an unlocked gate to stop people using it as a fish boat.

"Thanks!" says he, sheepishly returning to his fuddishly-parked rental van.


It appears that road names are now being truncated after a single character.  And postcodes after the second digit (although having just looked it up, they do rhyme).   :facepalm:

I can only assume he bunged "B29 7" into his twatnav and delivered to the first no 10 he saw.   ???
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on January 09, 2016, 02:52:01 pm
I was once going to have a hire car delivered to my house. The time approached and then passed, so I call Messrs Enterprise to enquire of its whereabouts. 'It's there!', they say. 'No it isn't', I retort. A few minutes later they call back and tell me that it had been delivered to Gxxxxxon Road in Leamington Spa, not Gxxxxxon Close in Warwick (2 miles away). I think a twatnav would have helped on that occasion.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: DDCyclist on January 09, 2016, 03:03:29 pm
I once had someone else's car delivered onto my drive by a transporter driver who apparently, couldn't read numbers on doors.

We were in 28. The car belonged to the people in 24. At least he got the right side of the road.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on January 10, 2016, 05:08:26 pm
And a guy from No 10 just appeared to collect his parcel...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on January 11, 2016, 09:42:11 am
Got several things coming today and blimey, the blizzard of notifications (probably my fault for ticking the boxes). Email, text, you name it. I'm not sure how, since I don't remember even providing my landline number, but I'm getting texts on that too. I didn't even know there was a robot-lady text speaker (reciting a web address really put her through her paces). The only thing I've not had yet is a carrier pigeon or message from the teeming dead.

As a plus, I know my DPD's driver's name, star sign, and favourite TV show. Royal Mail are a bit more cagey with 'my package is out for delivery'. Hermes send messages with the frequency of a teenager on an unlimited monthly text plan.

I've never felt so popular.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: DDCyclist on January 11, 2016, 10:06:17 am
One of my bugbears is the trend (seemingly) for any company you've ever had the misfortune to ever have had the briefest encounter with to want to be an almost intimate part of your life.

The worst offender, in my experience, is AO - the white goods suppliers. I ordered a dishwasher. They sent me a text telling me it would be delivered on dd/mm/yy (whatever it was) and then continued texting and calling twice a day for about a week despite being told to stop making nuisance calls. As a result I'm now hesitant to ever do business with them again.

Having seen, heard of and experienced a few courier fails, if it ever happens again I shall always remember that things can always get worse: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-35275855
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on January 11, 2016, 10:58:06 am
To be fair, I probably clicked all the notification options. I wasn't expecting stuff to arrive all on the same day (particularly since I didn't order some of it until 9.30pm yesterday evening with a deliver-it-whenever option) hence the flurry of messages, and they're usually useful if I'm out or the wireless doorbell is having one of its periodic sulks (yeah, yeah, needs fixing, it works fine until it doesn't), so I know they've left it behind the porch. DPD is the most useful, because I can track Michael (Sagittarius, Breaking Bad)) like I'm desperately on the edge of a restraining order.

Nice map-based tracking ought to be the default (you hearing me UPS?). I buy something that costs £25 and I can track it to the millimeter, I buy a £1700 computer and it might be delivered by the of the day.

AO phoned me to ask how I was enjoying my new washing machine and dishwasher. I was touched. I didn't know they cared. For the record, I don't think 'enjoy' is really how'd I describe operating the dishwasher. I'm not allowed near the washing machine because apparently I don't know how to wash clothes. It doesn't all go in at the same time and there are allegedly different settings.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: DDCyclist on January 11, 2016, 11:35:32 am
For large deliveries, IMO, only one message is necessary - "we plan to deliver on dd/mm/yy (plus am/pm if they know). If that's not convenient contact us on or before dd/mm/yy to reschedule."

I'm not the village idiot (contrary to popular belief) so I don't need suppliers and couriers making a nuisance of themselves just so I don't forget.

For smaller items I'm happy to know:

As for washing things - I do all the things that require use of a machine. Despite being fully conversant with all the "machines that go 'ping'" in hospitals Mrs C deftly avoids the dishwasher and washing machine at home. Should I smell a rat?  :-\
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on January 11, 2016, 12:17:13 pm
Map-based tracking is important when you work home alone. You need to know when it's safe to take a long toilet break. There's nothing worse than commencing your bombing run and then hearing the fateful chime of the doorbell.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Bledlow on January 11, 2016, 12:57:46 pm
...I'm not allowed near the washing machine because apparently I don't know how to wash clothes. It doesn't all go in at the same time and there are allegedly different settings.
Could you tell Mrs B?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mcshroom on January 11, 2016, 01:24:38 pm
Surprised this one hasn't made it onto here: -

Man orders Kindle and receives 'tumour sample' in courier mix-up (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-35275855)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on January 11, 2016, 01:50:53 pm
I am still waiting for an item I Buy It Nowed from Fleabay on January 4th.  One page on Fleabay says it was delivered on January 2nd, which is impossible.  Another page on Fleabay says it was delivered on January 5th, which is not impossible but very unlikely unless the seller had a private jet and a car waiting on the runway at Stansted.  It's coming from that Germany, that they have now, y'see.

It hasn't arrived yet.  How long does etiquette consider appropriate before writing Stern Letters to the seller, Fleabay, Deutsche Post, Royal Snail, the Queen and Benedict Cumberbatch (just in case)?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on January 11, 2016, 02:47:44 pm
...I'm not allowed near the washing machine because apparently I don't know how to wash clothes. It doesn't all go in at the same time and there are allegedly different settings.
Could you tell Mrs B?

I could. I'm generally not inclined to argue as I hate washing and still view the laundry basket as a recyclable resource.

Sadly, not shite couriers, everything arrived as promised, they even left it where I asked. None of it was really terribly urgent, but I guess it's modern life that something I order at 9.30pm on a Sunday evening appears on my door step before lunch time Monday. Odds on though, if it was something I desperately needed it would take weeks and they'd lose it not once but twice and then claim I never actually ordered it (that's you, Ikea).
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on January 11, 2016, 02:54:51 pm
Odds on though, if it was something I desperately needed it would take weeks

This, combined with the occasional benefit of fondling ergonomics-sensitive equipment before purchase, is surely what keeps the Mega Pan-European Extended Warranty Corporation of Hemel Hempsted, GREAT BRITAIN in business.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on January 12, 2016, 06:56:23 pm
Hurrah: my absent Item arrived this morning :thumbsup:
Bah: The postie b0rked my doorbell :facepalm:

The button has jammed in so it makes an annoying noise, requiring some screwdriverpoken' to heal it.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on January 12, 2016, 07:11:44 pm
Better get that sorted.  Once a delivery bod thinks the doorbell doesn't work, they'll never use it again.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Si S on January 13, 2016, 08:49:53 am
Better get that sorted.  Once a delivery bod thinks the doorbell doesn't work, they'll never use it again.

Our postie must be the Royal Mail's compulsory eternal optimist, it's never worked but he still perseveres
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: DDCyclist on January 13, 2016, 01:03:59 pm
No, Royal Mail, the bottom of a 3 foot deep recycling bin is NOT  a good place to leave one parcel, let alone two. There are a number of reasons for this:

1) You are hardly likely to have placed them at the bottom of the recycling bin. You MUST have dropped them to get them in there.

2) I have not told RM, at any time, that my recycling bin is a safe place to leave anything.

3) Sometimes my neighbours put my recycling out for me, as I do for them. There is a small chance that any parcels you have dumped in the recycling bin might be inadvertently disposed of.

4) I am not a f*(&ing orang-utan. I do not have arms long enough to get the parcels out of the recycling bin without a lot of unnecessary f&*ting around.

In future if you are unable to deliver a parcel because I am out leave it with a neighbour or take it back to the depot.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on January 22, 2016, 10:38:22 am
I booked a parcel pick up on the 18th. economy, supposed to take 36-48 hours.

Picked up on 19th - ok.

It's not out for delivery yet. Still in the depot. That's 3 sodding days to get it to a depot. FFS!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Thor on February 21, 2016, 04:06:23 pm
Ordered a footwear item online, returned to store, ordered a different size,  online again.

Both deliveries by Hermes, for both was advised by text message that item was out for delivery.  Both messages arrived a day later than the item to which they referred!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on February 21, 2016, 07:09:25 pm
Advised yesterday via a text from IKEA that the period during which they would notify me when $PICTURE_FRAME was back in stock has expired.  Only they never did notify me that it was back in stock, no, I had to prod their webby SCIENCE to find that out.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on March 05, 2016, 09:10:11 am
Parcelfarce strike again!

Saturday delivery still sat in the local depot. Local depot number on answer machine stating that they're closed but open during 8.00am-12.30pm :facepalm:

What a bunch of useless wankers, this is the third Saturday delivery they've cocked up for me.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on March 05, 2016, 05:17:09 pm
I wasn't expecting today's missed delivery from Mega-Global Big River Corporation of Seattle, USAnia Logistics until Monday.  How dare they be early!

ETA: I can't imagine it needed to be signed for, nor that it was too big to go through the letterbox though ???
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on March 05, 2016, 05:27:51 pm
Most of my recent Big River deliveries have been early but we have been in and I haven't found the good courier thread to tell everyone.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on March 05, 2016, 05:33:46 pm
My Nozama delivery yesterday came via Royal Snail and although of considerably greater value than todays just landed on the doormat wrapped in a flyer advertising a local junk food vendor.  Tuesday's delivery from Not Amazon needed to be signed for chiz and the bastard sorting office is mornings only on Thursdays as otherwise I'd have been able to detour on the way to thee Pubbe in central Londonton.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on March 06, 2016, 11:25:43 pm
Seems Moonpig disappointed today.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-35740066 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-35740066)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: barakta on March 07, 2016, 12:08:47 am
That's a rather EPIC fail.

No one is going to trust them again.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on March 07, 2016, 12:19:31 am
Yesterday's missed Mega-Global Big River Corporation of Seattle, USAnia delivery was re-scheduled for the "next business day" which I took to be Monday.  Another delivery from same was also scheduled for Monday.  Both arrived today (Sunday).  Bastards
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: pcolbeck on March 07, 2016, 08:33:10 am
The parcels may be a tad damp. Grosmont deliveries this weekend.

(http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/resources/images/4804686/)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Guy on March 07, 2016, 09:58:59 am
Following TwatNav?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mcshroom on March 10, 2016, 09:18:58 am
I usually have been pretty happy with ParcelForce. They usually call at my place, realise I'm not in and leave the parcel at the local Post Office to collect.

This time though they've decided not to do that and kept taking the parcel back to Carlisle, even when I instructed them to leave it at the PO, which costs £1 apparently (I've never paid it before). Luckily my neighbour was in yesterday so I now have some shiny new wheels, though I could have had them on Saturday if they'd just left them at the PO as normal ::-)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Biggsy on March 10, 2016, 05:43:34 pm
DX "Delivered Exactly", or "Shite Exactly" I will now call them: made no genuine attempt to deliver my parcel, left no card, days later sent a snail mail telling me to arrange re-delivery.

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on March 10, 2016, 06:32:34 pm
Special bonus points to the Fedex driver who managed to pinball between pavements and verges coming up the hill. A fact I'm sure entirely unrelated to the phone he had pressed to his ear.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on April 26, 2016, 04:26:40 pm
UK Mail have not been sh!te today but...
I had an email stating ETA of parcel was between 17.09 and 18.09 today and it was #92 of driver's deliveries today.
I have been watching the tracking most of the day.
At 16.09 when the tracking stated driver was on the way to delivery #69, the package was delivered.
According to the tracking, it's still 'out for delivery' though the driver's progress is no longer shown.
I was enjoying watching the tracking but somehow reality and tracking don't quite correlate.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on May 08, 2016, 08:12:01 pm
Nice of you to leave my package with the folks two doors down, Yodel.  One slight problem: they're never in >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Vince on May 09, 2016, 11:33:48 am
The parcels may be a tad damp. Grosmont deliveries this weekend.

(http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/resources/images/4804686/)
Another Amazon delivery?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jurek on May 09, 2016, 11:45:46 am
I've just had a text message from Maharishi telling me that the shirt I ordered from them yesterday,  will be delivered by DPD tomorrow  :o
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on May 09, 2016, 06:25:23 pm
Nice of you to leave my package with the folks two doors down, Yodel.  One slight problem: they're never in >:(

After a further failed attempt to prise my parcel out of the clutches of the not-quite-neighbour, he actually brought it round himself :thumbsup:  Now I can at last pension off thee Denim Jacket ov DOOM.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on May 19, 2016, 05:51:32 pm
Amazon,

I expected a Saturday delivery, the orders I placed both state Saturday delivery. I didn't expect to return home and find out that you had tried to deliver on Thursday.

The reason I wanted Saturday is because there's nobody at home during the week you muppets!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Pickled Onion on June 07, 2016, 08:30:17 am
I ordered a small item from them last week, no need for a Saturday delivery as it would easily fit through the letterbox.
(click to show/hide)

At least on the second attempt the guy had the wit to leave it in the garden.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Biggsy on June 07, 2016, 12:51:50 pm
That deserves some feedback:

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/help/customer/display.html?nodeId=201277410
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 23, 2016, 05:17:57 pm
New Shiny ordered yesterday pm.  No big rush so opted for free delivery i.e. 5 working days.

It's just arrived :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on July 23, 2016, 05:21:38 pm
Makes up for the Jehovah's Witnesses; enjoy!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: T42 on July 28, 2016, 10:44:30 am
Goddamned summer-temp postie. She had delivered our post and was at the next house, not 10 metres on.  I was going into the house from the garden, gave her a wave which she didn't return, she just stared.  When I went down to get the post just now there was a note in the box: tried to deliver a parcel, you weren't there, you can pick it up from tomorrow at blah blah.

We've also been getting mail for villages about 10 km from here. God knows where ours is ending up. :demon:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: PaulF on September 23, 2016, 01:54:04 pm
Yodel. Five letters that can chill the heart of even those of the strongest constitution.

From, an admittedly low base they managed to surpass themselves yesterday. Got home to find a card saying "parcel in back garden". Couldn't find after 10 minutes of searching so called the number on the card.

"Oh! That's not your package the driver must have put the card through the wrong door"

"Well I'm expecting a package from you today. Where's that?"

"It's been delivered"

"Not here it hasn't"

"We'll ask the driver where it is. We'll speak to him within 24-72 hours"

"Can't you phone him"

"No we have no way of getting in touch with our drivers"

A quick search on Amazon, who I'd bought the parcel through, showed it had been delivered. To Reading. 30 miles away!

20 minutes later I have a ranting Yodel driver on my doorstep - remember the one who they had no means of getting in touch with. He'd dropped the parcel (fortunately non-fragile) over the fence the far side from the gate and was raging about me "having got him in trouble with the office.

Next I get a call from Yodel Customer Services. When I asked why I was told they couldn't get in touch with the driver yet he magically appeared on my doorstep she tried to fob me off with "it's customer services who can't get in touch".
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Tim Hall on September 23, 2016, 02:04:37 pm
Ordered stuffs from bike shop on t'web.
Get notification from their courier that the stuffs are on their way
Get card through door, saying stuffs are in bin.  It's bin day, but fortunately the courier arrived after bin collection.
Bike shop on t'web have sent wrong stuffs, so I post them back.
Get notification from their courier saying replacement stuffs are on their way
Courier website says stuffs have been delivered. Lack of stuffs suggest this is not the case.
Contact courier using web form. Tick box marked "phone" for preferred method of contact.
Retrieve email from seldom used account giving me reason for non delivery of stuffs.
Alert The Boy that stuffs may arrive
The Boy is woken from his slumbers by the rattling of the door as the courier pokes a card through, unable to get an answer.
Next day I phone courier, so The Boy can go to their depot to collect stuffs. Not to worry, they say, the stuffs are on the van for redelivery, mid morning.  I warn The Boy again.
No stuffs are delivered.
This morning I drop in at the depot on the way to work. Agh! they say, the stuffs are on the van for re-delivery, and have just this moment gone.  They will be delivered after 11, which is handy as The Boy gets home from work at half 10.
I warn The Boy
The Boy fortunately gets home early, as the courier company must have been using GMT.
Stuffs have allegedly arrived.

Cast: Bike shop on t'web - Spa Cycles
Courier: APC
Local depot/franchise: Streetwise Couriers Sussex
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on September 23, 2016, 02:26:56 pm
DX couriers must have the Home Office contract for delivering passports to our place.

Last Saturday the bell goes at 9.45am. There's a BFO notice on the door saying don't try to deliver before 10am. Bell duly ignored. Bell goes several more times. Bell ignored.

At 11am we notice that DX's driver hadn't bothered to read the notice and had left three calling cards outside in full view, saying  that number of passports couldn't be delivered as a signature was required and the addressee had to contact DX to rearrange delivery. Only the twunt of a driver hadn't put the names or addresses of the recipients, so we couldn't pass on the cards.

My, that was a conversation on Monday when he showed up again.
Title: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: TigaSefi on September 23, 2016, 02:34:35 pm
Yodel. Five letters that can chill the heart of even those of the strongest constitution.

From, an admittedly low base they managed to surpass themselves yesterday. Got home to find a card saying "parcel in back garden". Couldn't find after 10 minutes of searching so called the number on the card.

"Oh! That's not your package the driver must have put the card through the wrong door"

"Well I'm expecting a package from you today. Where's that?"

"It's been delivered"

"Not here it hasn't"

"We'll ask the driver where it is. We'll speak to him within 24-72 hours"

"Can't you phone him"

"No we have no way of getting in touch with our drivers"

A quick search on Amazon, who I'd bought the parcel through, showed it had been delivered. To Reading. 30 miles away!

20 minutes later I have a ranting Yodel driver on my doorstep - remember the one who they had no means of getting in touch with. He'd dropped the parcel (fortunately non-fragile) over the fence the far side from the gate and was raging about me "having got him in trouble with the office.

Next I get a call from Yodel Customer Services. When I asked why I was told they couldn't get in touch with the driver yet he magically appeared on my doorstep she tried to fob me off with "it's customer services who can't get in touch".

 ::-) How the fuck is it your fault he got in trouble with the office for being illiterate? I hate Yodel.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: barakta on September 23, 2016, 04:11:56 pm
I think I would complain to Yodel for their driver being abusive and badly behaved about his own bad behaviour as that is simply not on.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: citoyen on September 27, 2016, 12:55:25 pm
Just had the bizarre experience of getting a notification from Royal Mail that my package had been delivered about half an hour before it actually turned up.

Lucky I decided to hold off on that complaining email.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on September 27, 2016, 01:27:43 pm
UPS took my parcel to a UPS Access PointTM after but one failed delivery attempt but fortunately a Nice Lady from The Nether Lands e-mailed to ask plz to tell us when we can resend because we can't hang onto it for ever.  Doubly fortunate, in fact, after previous communications from the sender got et by Microsith.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Bledlow on September 29, 2016, 12:02:09 pm
There was a man at my door with two boxes for a Mr Galloway a little while ago.

Right house number, wrong street.  ;D
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on September 29, 2016, 02:18:14 pm
Right house number, wrong street.  ;D

Happens a lot.  I think the reason is that they navigate using a SatNav that does 4-digit postcode lookups, then only pay attention to the house number.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Bledlow on September 29, 2016, 02:28:02 pm
That'd work. They're each a single postcode (cul de sacs, not too many houses), & only the last two letters of the postcode are different. The first part of the street name's the same, as well - X Gardens & X Court.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on September 29, 2016, 03:06:56 pm
Satnavs sometimes just Don't Work.

I used to live on a street and address that some makes of satnav could not cope with (as Torslanda found out). Even given the exact address, it sent him two streets away, at the far end of a dead end road. I've had a forlorn call from a courier stuck at the same place. I think the satnav wanted to send them through some bollards and across a bowling green or some such idiocy, certainly not to my actual house.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on September 29, 2016, 03:27:24 pm
Yeah, but when something like that happens the courier tends to know it's going wrong, rather than happily delivering to the wrong road.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on September 29, 2016, 04:06:14 pm
Right house number, wrong street.  ;D

Happens a lot.  I think the reason is that they navigate using a SatNav that does 4-digit postcode lookups, then only pay attention to the house number.

Boy, am I glad that Stag House is no more. The Royal Mail sent me loads of their stuff.
(Same street number and first 3 postcode characters)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Torslanda on September 29, 2016, 11:37:12 pm
Satnavs sometimes just Don't Work.

I used to live on a street and address that some makes of satnav could not cope with (as Torslanda found out). Even given the exact address, it sent him two streets away, at the far end of a dead end road. I've had a forlorn call from a courier stuck at the same place. I think the satnav wanted to send them through some bollards and across a bowling green or some such idiocy, certainly not to my actual house.

I don't doubt for a minute you are correct but I can't for the life of me remember where you were . . .
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on October 29, 2016, 02:54:31 pm
Amazon "Logistics" have this afternoon delivered two of my parcels to a Mr Fall at 1/1 in this building even though I was in, there is no Mr Fall, and there is no 1/1.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on October 29, 2016, 02:59:38 pm
Mr Fall sounds like one of those public address euphemisms.  Presumably for "We dropped the package."
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Dibdib on October 29, 2016, 03:05:15 pm
I get the occasional package for the same number with a very similar street name, which is just around the corner - For example, if I lived on Jackson Street the package would be for Jack Street which is the second left after my house.  Hilarious how long it takes me to explain to half of them that Jack Street and Jackson Street aren't the same.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on October 29, 2016, 03:16:16 pm
We live in B******* Village, we're number 8 Model Row.  There are only 8 numbered houses in the village, and the (dead end) road has no official name, but is sometimes referred to as "Main Road".  1km away, across the crossroads, at the end of B******* Road is Wharf Row, also numbered 1-8. About 200m from there is B****** Wharf, yep, you guessed it, numbered from 1-8. Oh what fun we have, despite differing postcodes. To the extent that I came home one day after work to find a "For Sale" board in the front garden! That was meant for Wharf Row.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on October 29, 2016, 03:17:27 pm
Our online chat isn't going well.

Chat
End Chat
Sound
Me: Hi
You're now connected to Rajkamal from Amazon.co.uk
Me: Hi Rajkamal
Rajkamal: Hello, my name is Raj Kamal.
Thank you for contacting Amazon.co.uk.
Am I chatting with Kirsten?
Me: I have just had two emails telling me that two orders 2X
and 2Y have been delivered to a neighbour Mr Fall at 1/1.
yes, this is Kirsten
I have been in all day and there has been no attempted delivery. There is no Mr Fall in this building, and there is not a flat numbered 1/1
so god knows where they've taken it
Rajkamal: Hi Kirsten. Good day!
I understand that you received an email stating that both your orders has been delivered, but you were in waiting for delivery and no delivery attempt was made.
I will check that for you.
Me: well they've obviously been left at the wrong address, so the delivery person needs to go get them and bring them to me
Rajkamal: Are you referring to following items:
A and B?
Me: yes
Rajkamal: Thanks for confirming.
May I place you on hold for 2 to 3 minutes while I check this for you?
Me: yeah
Rajkamal: Thanks for waiting patiently.
I've checked your order and see that tracking shows the order has been delivered today at 02:34:03 PM, and the order has been delivered to the neighbour.
May I ask if you have checked with your neighbors, household members or possible safe places where the carrier may have delivered the package?
Me: yes, I know that tracking says it has been delivered. I told you that.
it says it has been delivered to a Mr Fall at 1/1
there is no Mr Fall in this stair
there is no 1/1
and I have been in all day, waiting for the packages
so it should have come to me anyway
Rajkamal: I am really sorry that your order was not delivered to you when you were available. I will escalate the issue to the transportation department and ask them to take necessary actions against the delivery drivers.
May I know if you have checked with your nieghbours for this order?
Me: there are at least 40 buildings in this street with at least 10 flats in each of them
I can't knock 400 doors
and I don't even know if it's been left in the right street
can you find out from them where they left it?
Rajkamal: I can see the tracking shows:
Delivered to: Mr Fall
Door Number: 1/1
Me: yes, but there isn't a door number 1/1, and there isn't a mr fall
so they haven't left it in the right building
Rajkamal: Please don't worry, Kirsten.
Sometimes a carrier will accidentally scan a parcel as 'Delivered' when it's actually still on the way. It’s our experience that orders are delivered within a day or two of being scanned as delivered. I’d like to ask you wait until Tuesday, 1 November 2016 in case your order does arrive.
Me: no, that's not acceptable.
and it's not a good advert for amazon prime either
if you can't help me, can you escalate this to someone else please?
Rajkamal: I understand that you wish to escalate this issue to someone else.
I will try my best to fix this issue for you.
Me: please escalate this
Rajkamal: The highest point of escalation from our end is escalating the issue to supervisor.
May I know how you want me to proceed?
Me: escalate please
Rajkamal: Even if we escalate this issue, my supervisor will tell you the same, Kirsten.
Me: escalate please
Rajkamal: I will ask my supervisor to send you an email regarding this issue.
You can expect an email within 5 - 6 hours.
Me: no, I want to speak to them on chat or on the phone
Rajkamal: Unfortunately, there is no supervisor available at the moment, Kirsten.
So, I am suggesting you a supervisor email option.
Me: when will the supervisor be back from their break then? or are they dealing with another call? because I've already waited all day for a parcel that's been left god knows where, I can keep waiting
why is it so hard to phone the delivery people and find out where they have left it?
Rajkamal: To resolve your issue, I can make an exception and replace the Amazon item in your order and refund the seller item, Kirsten.
Me: they won't be here today though will they?
why can't you phone the delivery centre and get them to find out where the stuff is?
look,you're not answering my questions
I want to know
1) why you can't or won't find out where the stuff is
2) when a supervisor will be available to speak to
Rajkamal: Please bear with me for a moment.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on October 29, 2016, 03:25:24 pm
I think Rajkamal just failed the Turing test.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on October 29, 2016, 03:36:38 pm
In contradiction of the thread title .. . .

Parcel today (ordered on Friday morning from a well-known emporium in N Ireland) en route via Royal Mail "tracked" - email timed at 0530 to say that it was at the local SO and would be delivered at approx 1050 - 1012 door-bell rang with parcel (OK he was early, I can live with that) - he scanned the package (no signature) . .. by the time I walked the length of the hall to where my computer sits there was an email confirming delivery.  Pretty good. (No Haribo though :-( )

AND yet last Monday I was expecting a Fedex package delivered "before 1800" - Fedex man usually comes at about 1300 so when I went out for a couple of hours on the bike at 0830 I left a note in case he came to try No 39 or No35 (I live at 38) - got back and no sign of Fedex by 1600 . . . checked the online tracking and it said delivery was at 0905 to No35 .... collected package ..... about 1830 neighbour from No 39 had been to No 35 to see what Fedex had delivered for her and left at No 35??? - huh, Fedex man had put card through letterbox at 39 (despite my piece of paper stuck on my front door)  Aaaargh!

Rob
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on October 29, 2016, 03:44:01 pm
Our online chat isn't going well.

Chat
End Chat
Sound
Me: Hi
You're now connected to Rajkamal from Amazon.co.uk
Me: Hi Rajkamal
Rajkamal: Hello, my name is Raj Kamal.
Thank you for contacting Amazon.co.uk.
Am I chatting with Kirsten?
Me: I have just had two emails telling me that two orders 2X
and 2Y have been delivered to a neighbour Mr Fall at 1/1.
yes, this is Kirsten
I have been in all day and there has been no attempted delivery. There is no Mr Fall in this building, and there is not a flat numbered 1/1
so god knows where they've taken it
Rajkamal: Hi Kirsten. Good day!
I understand that you received an email stating that both your orders has been delivered, but you were in waiting for delivery and no delivery attempt was made.
I will check that for you.
Me: well they've obviously been left at the wrong address, so the delivery person needs to go get them and bring them to me
Rajkamal: Are you referring to following items:
A and B?
Me: yes
Rajkamal: Thanks for confirming.
May I place you on hold for 2 to 3 minutes while I check this for you?
Me: yeah
Rajkamal: Thanks for waiting patiently.
I've checked your order and see that tracking shows the order has been delivered today at 02:34:03 PM, and the order has been delivered to the neighbour.
May I ask if you have checked with your neighbors, household members or possible safe places where the carrier may have delivered the package?
Me: yes, I know that tracking says it has been delivered. I told you that.
it says it has been delivered to a Mr Fall at 1/1
there is no Mr Fall in this stair
there is no 1/1
and I have been in all day, waiting for the packages
so it should have come to me anyway
Rajkamal: I am really sorry that your order was not delivered to you when you were available. I will escalate the issue to the transportation department and ask them to take necessary actions against the delivery drivers.
May I know if you have checked with your nieghbours for this order?
Me: there are at least 40 buildings in this street with at least 10 flats in each of them
I can't knock 400 doors
and I don't even know if it's been left in the right street
can you find out from them where they left it?
Rajkamal: I can see the tracking shows:
Delivered to: Mr Fall
Door Number: 1/1
Me: yes, but there isn't a door number 1/1, and there isn't a mr fall
so they haven't left it in the right building
Rajkamal: Please don't worry, Kirsten.
Sometimes a carrier will accidentally scan a parcel as 'Delivered' when it's actually still on the way. It’s our experience that orders are delivered within a day or two of being scanned as delivered. I’d like to ask you wait until Tuesday, 1 November 2016 in case your order does arrive.
Me: no, that's not acceptable.
and it's not a good advert for amazon prime either
if you can't help me, can you escalate this to someone else please?
Rajkamal: I understand that you wish to escalate this issue to someone else.
I will try my best to fix this issue for you.
Me: please escalate this
Rajkamal: The highest point of escalation from our end is escalating the issue to supervisor.
May I know how you want me to proceed?
Me: escalate please
Rajkamal: Even if we escalate this issue, my supervisor will tell you the same, Kirsten.
Me: escalate please
Rajkamal: I will ask my supervisor to send you an email regarding this issue.
You can expect an email within 5 - 6 hours.
Me: no, I want to speak to them on chat or on the phone
Rajkamal: Unfortunately, there is no supervisor available at the moment, Kirsten.
So, I am suggesting you a supervisor email option.
Me: when will the supervisor be back from their break then? or are they dealing with another call? because I've already waited all day for a parcel that's been left god knows where, I can keep waiting
why is it so hard to phone the delivery people and find out where they have left it?
Rajkamal: To resolve your issue, I can make an exception and replace the Amazon item in your order and refund the seller item, Kirsten.
Me: they won't be here today though will they?
why can't you phone the delivery centre and get them to find out where the stuff is?
look,you're not answering my questions
I want to know
1) why you can't or won't find out where the stuff is
2) when a supervisor will be available to speak to
Rajkamal: Please bear with me for a moment.

Rajkamal: Please bear with me for a moment.
I’m sorry this is taking longer than expected. Please bear with me while transfer this chat to my supervisor.
Me: thank you
Rajkamal: I am really sorry, Kirsten.
My supervisor is stuck in a long call, so I am unable to transfer this chat to my supervisor.
So, I've requested my supervisor to send you an email regarding this issue.
You can expect an email from my supervisor within 5 - 6 hours.
Me: no, your supervisor should phone me
can you please tell me why you can't contact the delivery people and find out where they have left it?
Rajkamal: Unfortunately, the supervisor callback option is not available, Kirsten.
Me: why not?
and why can't you find out where they leftit?
Rajkamal: I can either transfer the chat to my supervisor or I can ask my supervisor to send you an email regarding this issue.
But since the supervisor is on other chat, I am unable to transfer this chat to supervisor. So, there is a supervisor email option left, Kirsten.
As informed earlier. Sometimes a carrier will accidentally scan a parcel as 'Delivered' when it's actually still on the way. It’s our experience that orders are delivered within a day or two of being scanned as delivered.
Me: why can't you contact them and find out?
Rajkamal: I will contact the carrier and check what exactly happened with the delivery of the order and make sure the mistake won't be repeated.
Me: no, I'm asking you to contact the carrier, ask them where they actually left it, and let me know so that I can go and get it, or they can get it back and deliver it
the stuff was supposed to be delivered today not Tuesday when I will be at work
Rajkamal: I am unable to contact the carrier right away, Kirsten.
I will escalate the issue to my supervisor and ask him to call the carrier to check what has happened with the delivery. He'll send you an email with the details.
Me: that's not helpful - that means it could be 10pm before I know what's going on
what's the point of paying for amazon prime when stuff goes missing and nobody can find out where it is?
Rajkamal: I can confirm you that you'll receive an email from my supervisor within next 2 hours.
Me: is the supervisor finished with the other call yet?
Rajkamal: No Kirsten.
The call has not completed yet.
Please don't worry, Kirsten.
I can confirm you that my supervisor will send you an email within next 2 hours.
Is there any thing else I can help you with today?
Me: well, there are a few things I want help with - I want you to find out where the stuff is, I want to speak to a supervisor, but apparently you're unable to help with any of that. And I realise that's not your fault, but I have to say amazon's customer services processes suck
Rajkamal: My supervisor has completed the call now. As per your request, I'll transfer this chat to one of our supervisors who will assist you further. Please stay online while I complete the transfer.
Me: thank you
A Customer Service Associate will be with you in a moment.
You're now connected to Subramanian from Amazon.co.uk
Subramanian: Hello Kirsten, this is Subramanian.
I'm a part of the leadership team here at Amazon.co.uk.
Just a moment please while I read your previous conversation.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on October 29, 2016, 04:12:17 pm
Subramanian: Hello Kirsten, this is Subramanian.
I'm a part of the leadership team here at Amazon.co.uk.
Just a moment please while I read your previous conversation.
Thanks for waiting.
I'm sorry to hear that you've not received the items yet.
This might be the wrong tracking update by the carrier. Some chances are there that the driver might incorrectly updated the tracking as delivered or updated someone's tracking.
In these cases, the driver won't come back again for the same route as they need to finish the deliveries within 9 pm for the allotted areas.
They will deliver the order within 1 or 2 days.
I can certainly understand that you're not satisfied with the service from Amazon Logistics.
We continually monitor the service provided by our carriers and take complaints of this nature very seriously.
We’ll replace any items lost or damaged during delivery at no extra charge and monitor our carriers very closely.
We realise this incident reflects negatively upon Amazon.co.uk and the feedback you've provided will be used in reviewing the service provided by Amazon Logistics.
Me: I might believe the tracking was updated incorrectly for one parcel, but not for two
Subramanian: The same driver might be had your both parcels in the van.
Me: the delivery person has obviously delivered both packages to the wrong address and I can't understand why you won't contact them to find out
Subramanian: I'm sorry that we are unable to contact the carriers to investigate about this.
Usually we will request the customers to wait 24-48 hours to receive the order.
If you are not willing to wait, I can create a replacement order for the item sold by Amazon and issue refund for the items sold by seller.
I can replace this item " Slumberdown All Seasons 15 Tog Combi Duvet- Double Bed, White " and issue refund for other.
Me: you're seriously trying to tell me that a company the size of amazon has no way to get in touch with the people it employs to deliver things?
you must think I button up the back
Subramanian: If there is an option to investigate this, we can do this at first instance.
There is no option to raise investigation, we do give some time for the drivers to turn back and deliver the parcels. Time is fixed based on the recent deliveries.
I suggest you to wait 24-48 hours to receive the order.
As a token of apology for the delay, I can extend your prime membership for 1 month.
Me: why not ring the distribution centre and get them to ask the driver what's going on?
Subramanian: Please understand that if there is an option to do that , I should have done this earlier.
I can confirm that there is only one option, you should wait for the order to receive or I can issue refund or replace the items.
Me: I do not believe it is impossible to contact the distribution centre. It's in Glasgow, not on Mars
Subramanian: Kirsten, I informed you many times that we are unable to contact the carriers for these delivered not received problems.
The parcels will be automatically delivered by the drivers within 1-2 days.
Me: yes you informed me and I'm telling you that although that's what you're told to say, I don't believe it
the distribution centre has phones and computers
you have phones and computers
you could use your phones and computers to contact them
and the driver has clearly left the parcels somewhere else
it was ordered for delivery today, it says its been delivered today, it's been delivered to the wrong place, and delivery on Monday or Tuesday is no good because I will be at work
Subramanian: I'm not lying, Kirsten.
They won't pickup the phone, it is not possible to discuss the Amazon logistics delivery problems over phone.
Yes, I agree with you that the driver has left the parcel somewhere else.
I'm trying to resolve the issue here by using the available policy and resources.
Me: where we also have phones and computers for contacting people
your available policy and resources are not helpful
Subramanian: Okay, I take this as a feedback and forward this to the appropriate department. I hope they will consider this and looking for a change.
Just to confirm, do you wish to wait 48 hours to receive the parcels or wish to get replacement/refund?
Me: I don't want either of those options
I want the delivery today as I ordered it
Subramanian: I can not confirm whether the driver will come back and deliver the parcel today. We do have an approximate time for that, it is 48 hours.
I've provided all possible options.
Okay, could you please confirm how can I proceed further?
Me: can you escalate to someone who can contact the distribution centre please?
Subramanian: I understand that you wish to escalate this, confirm that no one can contact Amazon logistics carrier for delivered not received issues and ask them to deliver on same day.
We ask you to wait until 48 hours because this order may reach you before a refund or replacement is completed.
Me: can you give me their phone number then please?
Subramanian: If there is a contact number, I can give it to you straight away.
Customers can not contact them directly.
Me: you can't contact them and customers cant contact them?
are they like the A-team? do I have to put an advert in the paper?
Subramanian: We can contact them via internal mailing system if there is any delay with order.
Since the order was already marked as delivered, it should be driver's wrong tracking update.
The carrier will review daily deliveries either successful or unsuccessful after 9 pm in their depot.
Subramanian is typing...
Me: this is ridiculous. Your procedures are really so arcane that you can't get hold of another part of the company to find out what went wrong? this is not customer service, this is Dali-like surreality
but it will say delivery successful because they think they've delivered it
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on October 29, 2016, 04:37:17 pm
Subramanian: They can easily find the drivers who made the mistake because the driver must have the parcel in hand but marked the tracking as delivered.
In these cases, they will take action against the drivers and arrange a new delivery in the next delivery days.
Amazon logistics is our own delivery company.
We do respect your feedback on Amazon logistics delivery policy.
I assure you that the feedback will be forwarded to the delivery team and hope they will review customer's feedback, change the procedures in future.
Me: I don't want to be a learning experience, I just want to know where my stuff is
Subramanian: Since it is not with you in your address now, it should have been with the driver or in the delivery van.
You will receive the parcel in the upcoming delivery days, the maximum I ask you to wait is for 48 hours.
If I create a replacement or refund, there are more chances, the parcel will be delivered back to you, you need to return the original parcels.
Or there are some chances, your neighbours might have received the parcels and give it back to you within the next 48 hours.
We've driven this procedure because many customers keep on contacting us that incorrect delivery update orders are being delivered to customers.
Me: right, this is what I want to happen. Can you please email the top secret anonymous distribution centre and ask them to find out from the driver where he has left the stuff? Then when they get back to you, you email me by this time tomorrow to let me know what has happened. If it is on the van still you need to give me a notification of a 1 hour delivery slot because I actually have stuff to do which involves leaving the flat
and I am not prepared to waste all of tomorrow
as well as today
if the driver has left it in another building or another street, he or she needs to tell me where so I Can go and get it
Subramanian: I understand that you want these things to happen.
I'm really sorry to say that these option is not available.
The carrier investigation and re delivery will be happened in the carrier network and they won't reveal the outcome.
Here are the two options:
Please wait till 48 hours to receive the stuffs or
I can issue replacement for Slumberdown All Seasons 15 Tog Combi Duvet- Double Bed, White and issue refund for other.
Me: Amazon Logistics,which is part of Amazon, won't tell Amazon what they've done with the stuff they're supposed to deliver?
Am I on camera? Is this Noel Edmonds?
can't you see how ludicrous this is?
Subramanian: We understand how frustrating this is for you, and the inconvenience this has caused.
I hope you understand that we should stock with the available options and procedures to handle the delivery problems.
I've forwarded the formal complaint about this with Amazon logistics and they will review this delivery.
I hope they will take necessary actions and make sure this won't repeat again.
Me: but you told me you can contact them by email and now you say you can't.
Subramanian: I can send complaints to them but they won't reveal the outcome of the investigation, it will be done internally.
Me: I don't care about a disciplinary investigation of the driver, people make mistakes. I want them to find out where my stuff is and tell me
Subramanian: It is not possible to tell where your parcel is now.
As informed clearly, they won't reveal the investigation outcome.
Is there anything else I can help with?
Me: seriously, this is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard
and I work for a local authority
Subramanian: One of our aims is to provide a convenient and efficient service and I realise that we have not met that standard in this case. Please accept our apologies.
Me: look I can accept that the courier has put the stuff in the wrong place. We all make mistakes. What I cannot accept is that amazon cannot or will not ask the despatch company to find it, and that even if you did, they wouldn't tell you
Subramanian: To be frank, if I am in your situation, I'll also feel the same.
I hope our transportation team will review the customer complaints about delivery and make necessary changes in future.
If you won't receive the parcels within 48 hours, please contact us we'll issue replacement or refund for the items.
Apart from this, is there anything else I can help you with?
Me: look I realise this hasn't been an easy call for you, and I know you and Raj hate me now, and I'm sorry, I know it's not your faults, I'm just flabbergasted
I hope you get to go home soon
Subramanian: Kirsten, it is our carrier's mistake. We should take responsibility for the mistake. Due to some policy procedures, I'm really sorry that if I was not much of help.
I wish and hope you will receive the items within the specified time period 48 hours.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on October 29, 2016, 06:00:54 pm
Yegods.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on October 29, 2016, 06:12:00 pm
TLDR: Amazon's courier gave my parcels to a complete stranger, can't tell me who or where and say that even if they were able to ask the courier, the courier wouldn't tell them.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Wombat on October 29, 2016, 06:37:34 pm
EG, if it all falls to bits and you don't get it, I can thoroughly recommend the Duvet Store, wot is based in your fair country, Arbroath, no less.  Very efficient delivery, by DPD. Ours made it all the way down to us on the South Coast, at precisely the time they said.  Shame the duvet covers from a different company (new ones needed 'cos its a super king size, to allow for cats stealing part of it) weren't as snappy arriving, but they are here now, and of course the weather is not fit to dry them after their initial go in the washing machine.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on November 02, 2016, 12:53:07 pm
A total stranger turned up at my door yesterday to say my parcels were delivered to him on Saturday afternoon. He lives on a completely different street; by no means of the imagination is he a neighbour.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Canardly on November 02, 2016, 01:00:22 pm
So he was the Fall guy?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on November 02, 2016, 02:16:22 pm
Have you any idea of his postcode? It might differ from yours by a single character...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Andrij on December 29, 2016, 11:16:46 am
Royal Fail.

I saw the postie arrive on my street.  I knew he had a small (tracked) package for me.  So what do I find at the front door?  The dreaded red card with a box ticked for "too large for your letter box".  I was home the entire time, the downstairs neighbours were in the entire time, but I get a card instead of package.  Looks like I'm off to the local (10 min. walk) sorting office first thing tomorrow morning.

This isn't the first time something like this has happened, but today is the first time I've formally complained.

The next five hours will be spent waiting for Yodel.  Knowing my luck, they'll attempt delivery after I've headed into town later this afternoon.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ElyDave on January 10, 2017, 12:07:04 pm
Parcel Farce

new work stand, dispatched on the 4th, at their depot on the 6th.  Supposed delivery attempt yesterday, was it b@ll@ck$, I was in all day except for 10 minutes when I went to the village post office, at which point the wife was in because we have tradesmen at present.
 
Supposedly now out for delivery again.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: martint235 on January 10, 2017, 01:04:24 pm
So I got a text yesterday to say my new iPhone would be delivered by DPD tomorrow (11th) so I arranged a day working from home. Got a text this morning saying it would be delivered today (11th sic) between 11 and 12. Replied to text deferring delivery to tomorrow (11th sic).

Got a phone call at 11.30 from SWMBO (who was coincidentally not meant to be WfH today!!) to say my phone had been delivered but that the driver was confused and thought he had another parcel to deliver tomorrow.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on January 10, 2017, 06:34:23 pm
Parcel Farce

new work stand, dispatched on the 4th, at their depot on the 6th.  Supposed delivery attempt yesterday, was it b@ll@ck$, I was in all day except for 10 minutes when I went to the village post office, at which point the wife was in because we have tradesmen at present.
 
Supposedly now out for delivery again.

Partner ordered Stuffs from Thomann in Germany just before Christmas.
Tracking stated package was 'Out For Delivery' on Saturday 24 December. Nothing arrived.
We did not leave place until 28 December and package was 'Out for Delivery' over the Bank Holidays but unsurprisingly, nothing arrived.
Left house at 13.30 28 December for 3 days with His Dad.

Package gets delivered to neighbour in our absence.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Tim Hall on January 24, 2017, 10:35:10 am
Order stuffs from xkcd. Get email saying here is a USPS tracking number. Watch as stuffs get closer and closer. Logon today to see after arriving Stansted a few days ago, dallying in Heathrow after that, that:

Quote
Your item departed from an intermediate transfer airport in COLOGNE/BONN, COLOGNE, GERMANY

What would Randall have to say?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Tim Hall on January 25, 2017, 08:00:02 am
Order stuffs from xkcd. Get email saying here is a USPS tracking number. Watch as stuffs get closer and closer. Logon today to see after arriving Stansted a few days ago, dallying in Heathrow after that, that:

Quote
Your item departed from an intermediate transfer airport in COLOGNE/BONN, COLOGNE, GERMANY

What would Randall have to say?
And today it has just departed Malmo. That's Malmo, Sweden.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on January 25, 2017, 04:24:45 pm
Order stuffs from xkcd. Get email saying here is a USPS tracking number. Watch as stuffs get closer and closer. Logon today to see after arriving Stansted a few days ago, dallying in Heathrow after that, that:

Quote
Your item departed from an intermediate transfer airport in COLOGNE/BONN, COLOGNE, GERMANY

What would Randall have to say?
And today it has just departed Malmo. That's Malmo, Sweden.

You couldn't molish it up!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Tim Hall on January 25, 2017, 05:36:43 pm
Order stuffs from xkcd. Get email saying here is a USPS tracking number. Watch as stuffs get closer and closer. Logon today to see after arriving Stansted a few days ago, dallying in Heathrow after that, that:

Quote
Your item departed from an intermediate transfer airport in COLOGNE/BONN, COLOGNE, GERMANY

What would Randall have to say?
And today it has just departed Malmo. That's Malmo, Sweden.

You couldn't molish it up!

And now:
Quote
Your item was processed through a facility in UNITED KINGDOM on January 25, 2017 at 1:15 pm. The item is currently in transit to the destination.
Will it arrive in time for The Boy's birthday (Friday), or will he just get a card with a printout of where his present went on its holidays?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Tim Hall on January 27, 2017, 12:12:12 pm
Order stuffs from xkcd. Get email saying here is a USPS tracking number. Watch as stuffs get closer and closer. Logon today to see after arriving Stansted a few days ago, dallying in Heathrow after that, that:

Quote
Your item departed from an intermediate transfer airport in COLOGNE/BONN, COLOGNE, GERMANY

What would Randall have to say?
And today it has just departed Malmo. That's Malmo, Sweden.

You couldn't molish it up!

And now:
Quote
Your item was processed through a facility in UNITED KINGDOM on January 25, 2017 at 1:15 pm. The item is currently in transit to the destination.
Will it arrive in time for The Boy's birthday (Friday), or will he just get a card with a printout of where his present went on its holidays?

And the answer was...he got a card with a printout of the tracking info.

However, looking at the tracking website this morning it shows the item as delivered at 04:19.  Not delivered here it wasn't.  I suspect it means delivered in to the tender care of Royal Mail, but who knows?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Greenbank on January 27, 2017, 12:49:00 pm
And the answer was...he got a card with a printout of the tracking info.

Randall might like the idea of a well toured item.

I'm now wondering how you could dress this up into an xkcd-like comic, or even a suitable What If question...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on February 16, 2017, 05:13:43 pm
"Estimated delivery: Thursday February 16, 2017" says DHL's webby SCIENCE.

Doesn't seem very likely, what with it having been sat in Leipzig all sodding day >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: jsabine on March 13, 2017, 10:31:18 pm
Parcel from Evans, entrusted to Hermes, out for delivery today.
Quote from: Hermes Parcel Tracking
13/03/2017   12:39   Delivered to reception
Who knew that a perfectly ordinary residential address had a reception service?

Did I find a card on the doormat when I got home? Why, no. No, I did not.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on March 15, 2017, 11:47:55 pm
This could be a monster thread!

It is...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: David Martin on May 03, 2017, 08:46:51 am
We are in the process of having the church renovated (a once in a lifetime major refit). Some of the lighting arrived yesterday. Courier turns up to the Manse. 'It says "Church" on the address, please take it round the front of the church where there will be someone waiting to help you'. The manse is adjacent to the church. Ten minutes later and person at front of church says "Where is the courier?". Turns out he had dumped all the parcels in the contractor container (doors wide open) and made off. Nothing signed for - over £10k of lighting equipment untracked. Fortunately it did all tally with what the company had sent, but someone will be getting a stern talking to.

The joys of the gig economy.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on May 03, 2017, 03:09:08 pm
We are in the process of having the church renovated (a once in a lifetime major refit). Some of the lighting arrived yesterday. Courier turns up to the Manse. 'It says "Church" on the address, please take it round the front of the church where there will be someone waiting to help you'. The manse is adjacent to the church. Ten minutes later and person at front of church says "Where is the courier?". Turns out he had dumped all the parcels in the contractor container (doors wide open) and made off. Nothing signed for - over £10k of lighting equipment untracked. Fortunately it did all tally with what the company had sent, but someone will be getting a stern talking to.

The joys of the gig economy.

[Expletives deleted]
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: fuzzy (retd.) AAGE on May 03, 2017, 03:46:45 pm
DPD courier arrives at the school to do a drop.

Another visitor complains about the DPD driver who cut them up at the entrance to the school, nearly coliding with them.

I talk to DPD driver and explain that if he isn't careful, he will be barred from the site, this banning being enforced by a call to his depot to let them know he is no longer allowed on the grounds.

DPD eejit "Hang on- how do you know it was me? Theres another DPD driver just coming in. It wasn't me it was him" at which point another DPD van arrives at the school.

Fuzzy "I know it was you because a) you were the only DPD van on site when the complaint was raised and b) You are driving the blue DPD van with the registration *******. The other van is red and th wrong registration. Slow down and drive safe please Sir."

DPD eejit leaves the school at a sedate pace, stopping only to direct death glares at the vehicle and driver who complained about him. I wonder how he knew who complained? :facepalm:



Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rogerzilla on May 05, 2017, 06:21:16 pm
APC, who won't deliver on Saturday and don't tell you when their depot is open.  Spa Cycles use them.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: woollypigs on May 06, 2017, 01:24:04 pm
Yesterday's no show of my parcel, caused Yodel to upgrade their tracking tool, after I moaned via their chatting tool. So now I can see how many parcels there is before mine will be delivered. At this rate I would need a new keyboard as I hammer F5 into DETH.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Tim Hall on May 06, 2017, 01:32:30 pm
APC, who won't deliver on Saturday and don't tell you when their depot is open.  Spa Cycles use them.

Ooh, that's interesting. Spa Cycles sent a parcel to The Boy, which arrived today (Saturday). They used Royal Mail.  I expect it's a size of parcel issue.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rogerzilla on May 06, 2017, 06:16:16 pm
It wasn't that big - it had a pair of dropped bars in it.  The depot was open until 12 so I drove up there after my ride.  They don't seem to get nany visitors.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mcshroom on May 13, 2017, 10:54:30 am
I'm currently waiting for the postie to try and do a 'card and dash' with one of my parcels.

I actually have the parcel as I happened it from the sorting office just now along with three others that aren't tracked, one of which I got a card for a couple days ago. However according to the tracking system my parcel arrived at the delivery office at 06:42 this morning, and was logged as "NO ANSWER - NOT AVAILABLE FOR COLLECTION" at 06:57 this morning.

I'm in today, waiting until Monday will both make it awkward to collect before work and also mean I can't fettle the bike today (new shiny bits).

I'm intending to keep the tracked parcel by the door, then catch them and ask them to deliver it when they turn up, which should be interesting :demon:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Wowbagger on June 12, 2017, 08:56:57 am
Aaaaaaaarrrrrgggghhhh!

Bromptons are in Avignon at campsite. Courier calls between 12 and 1.30 to collect. Campsite's reception closes at 12. Courier leaves without bikes.

GOTO Aaaaaaaarrrrrgggghhhh!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Ham on October 11, 2017, 09:11:42 pm
Herpes. Just don't.

Hermes / myHermes are quite possibly the worst courier company out there.

Quote
Ham: When you say "Address query" that means it didn't make it to the door
Supervisor: Yes, this means the courier could not find the address. This can be for myriad reasons
Ham: mmmmm. One reason and one reason only - incompetence

Something like the 7th attempt at delivery (allegedly)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on October 11, 2017, 09:43:08 pm
Aaaaaaaarrrrrgggghhhh!

Bromptons are in Avignon at campsite. Courier calls between 12 and 1.30 to collect. Campsite's reception closes at 12. Courier leaves without bikes.

GOTO Aaaaaaaarrrrrgggghhhh!

Did they ever get repatriated?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Guy on October 19, 2017, 09:40:57 am
The latest in a series of emails from a colleague..

Quote
Good afternoon All,

Once again APC has surpassed themselves. Turned up twice and the queue was too long so has left!!

He/she is now due to come tomorrow afternoon. I am going to meet them at the guardroom and take my parcel, unless it is too big for my car and they will have to get booked in, I will be with them to vouch for them, and drive round!

Don’t you just love them?

This has been going on for over a week!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mike on October 25, 2017, 10:38:00 am
anyone for bets on what time DPD local will show up today?  The last 2 times they were a whole day late then 4 hours early.. they're due between 11 and 12 today. 

Hopefully the company who keeps sending the wrong bloody thing are paying more each time to get a narrower time window, but DPD still seem to cock it up.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rogerzilla on October 25, 2017, 11:31:40 am
MyHerpes, who surcharged me £11 for an "oversize" box that had already been through their network THREE TIMES without complaint.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Polar Bear on October 25, 2017, 12:02:27 pm
anyone for bets on what time DPD local will show up today?  The last 2 times they were a whole day late then 4 hours early.. they're due between 11 and 12 today. 

Hopefully the company who keeps sending the wrong bloody thing are paying more each time to get a narrower time window, but DPD still seem to cock it up.

Ah yes, DPD, or, Don't Plan Deliveries.   
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Redlight on November 20, 2017, 06:13:53 pm
So I stayed in all day today awaiting the promised delivery of a couple of rugs - one measures 11ft by 14ft, so is a little on the heavy side.

Come 6pm, no sign of delivery, so  I call the courier firm, who tell me cheerfully that they delivered five hours ago.  I prod a little more and it emerges, after some checking, that said rugs have been delivered to a house about half a mile from here and signed for by a builder who was working on the house.

Courier firm's response to my expression of dissatisfaction?  "Could you pop round there yourself and collect them?"

Needless to say, my response was negative.  I'm waiting for them to come back with an alternative suggestion.  As I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt for now, I'll not share their name until we see what that might be.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Ham on November 20, 2017, 07:38:24 pm

  As I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt for now, I'll not share their name until we see what that might be.

I'm going to have  sixpence on Herpes. Not more than sixpence as the odds aren't particularly good, what with the multiplicity of options
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Redlight on November 20, 2017, 09:43:32 pm
Well, they have promised that the packages will be collected tomorrow (assuming there's someone there to hand them over) and delivered to me within a two hour window on Wednesday.  Watch this space....
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Ham on November 20, 2017, 10:17:11 pm
Promised delivery within a two hour window? Can I haz my sixpence back? Herpes would never do that.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jaded on November 20, 2017, 10:36:16 pm
Two hours is probably how long it will take to board up the window after they’ve been.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Moleman76 on November 21, 2017, 03:48:18 am
We have a long driveway (600 feet) from the road.  Delivery services have left parcels at:

a) our neighbor's gate adjacent to the road, and sent a photo showing that as "proof" that they delivered to our address (fail);
b) in a plastic bag (nice touch, since box was cardboard and it was raining that day) at our gate, a mere 500 feet from the house;
c) in front of our garage door, carefully placed on the obvious tire tracks, so that we will detect the delivery after driving over it;
d) at our back door (I suppose my design for the house could have put a gate or moat there); and
e) at the front door; about 90% of the time, after we have placed signs directing the delivery staff to it.

The holiday period, when the delivery services bring on additional drivers, always yields more befuddled deliveries
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Redlight on November 22, 2017, 12:33:49 pm
Well, they have promised that the packages will be collected tomorrow (assuming there's someone there to hand them over) and delivered to me within a two hour window on Wednesday.  Watch this space....

Well - they got half of it right. They collected the packages from the other address yesterday... and then tried to deliver to me despite having been told that I would be out all day. So I got home at about 9pm to find a note through the door and my very helpful neighbour with her hallway dominated by my packages.

On the positive side - the rugs look good  :D
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: fimm on November 22, 2017, 12:52:46 pm
We arrived home to two parcels outside our door, not addressed to us. When we opened the door we found a note saying "We tried to deliver your parcels, your neighbour has them..." err no, there are parcels outside our door.
Now I admit that the numbering of flats within the stairwells is confusing, and if they were simply for a different flat within the stairwell it would be a matter of popping round and leaving a note. However these are for a different stairwell. How do you manage to go into block 15 when your parcel is addressed to block 13?
 
Mr fimm has been in touch with Amazon (for it is they who sent the parcels) but I don't think he had much success. I bet we are going to end up trying to blag our way into block 13 so we can leave a note...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rachel t on November 26, 2017, 09:21:55 pm
When I spoke to my dad earlier today he told me about his delightful experience with myherpes, he was out yesterday morning & when he got back later my brother who lives at home had already gone out, this morning brother says to dad there was blue card saying parcel at rear of house, brother had had a look no parcel to be found, knowing how great myherpes are & based on last time they delivered a parcel when nobody was in (left in recycle bin card not discovered until after bin men had been), dad opened the recycling bin, no parcel, he next checked the food waste bin, no parcel, finally he checked the general refuse bin, guess what yes the parcel was in the bin, good job he checked them all today as its general bin day tomorrow.  :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: fimm on November 27, 2017, 11:30:36 am
Update: Mr fimm went round and delivered the parcels himself.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: fuzzy (retd.) AAGE on November 27, 2017, 03:19:30 pm
I think we should start charging commision for all the parcels we have delivered to their proper recipients due to courier fail.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on December 22, 2017, 01:55:46 pm
Parcelfarce, no you didn't attempt redelivery at 1623 yesterday. I know this because I was here, working away in silence. I think I might have thusly have noticed the van at the bottom of the drive, the knock on the door, the card on the matt etc.

Now I have to fuck about trying (and undoubtedly failing) to get it re-delivered before Christmas because, of course, it's my wife's christmas present.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on December 22, 2017, 05:44:37 pm
No Parcelfarce, I fear you misunderstand. I give you money, you bring the item to me. It doesn't really work if I have to come to you to get it.

As I'm not schlepping over to Sutton, I guess I'll be doing some more shopping.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on December 22, 2017, 06:04:38 pm
Sometimes the boot is on the other foot; I accept many deliveries at work and we have had signs up for the last 3 weeks advising couriers that we would be open today from 9.30 (half an hour earlier than usual opening) until 11.30 (much earlier than usual closing), so imagine my delight when Amazon's 3-rd party numpty driver turns up at 11.37 to be told we were closed. 'See you on 3rd January, kthxbai...'

FWIW, Herpes are by far the shitest of them all. DHL, UPS & Fedex are very good, both in reliability and set up, IME...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: fuzzy (retd.) AAGE on December 22, 2017, 11:18:38 pm
So, Yodle are employed to deliver the supplies of diabetic cat food for Willow. They e mail/ text SWMBO to say that the delivery will be with us twixt 11:00 and 21:00 on the day in question.

At 18:00, some three hors before the latest delvery time, she checks her phone. Text from Yodel says "delivered at 14:35"

Tis a lie. I was in the hoiuse awaiting the delivery. No delivery came. Noone came through the gate between the posytman at 12:15 and SWMBO at 15:15.

SWMBO gets onto live chat (cos phone line was closed) to Yodel. after 45 minutes of hanging around the 'conversation' starts and soon ends with "We will interview the driver and get back to you but the parcel was signed for by Fuzzy"

Bollox calls we. The day after the day in question SWMBO gets on the phone with Yodel and is advised that the parcel was taken to the door and signed for but then realised it was for next door so the driver left it in our porch.

Well, it isn't there says SWMBO. Yodel then advise her we should take it up with our supplier.

Having cogitated on this, we realise a) we don't have a porch and b) why would my next door neighbour sign my name for a parcel they thought was for them?

We were about to get back on the Liedel until a former colleague from the same house number in a different street knocks on my door and hands me a parcel saying it was dumped in their porch.....

I am composing a super nuclear grink for Liedel.

Bastards.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on December 22, 2017, 11:49:10 pm
Enjoy the Grink! I LOVE a good moan!
You have every right to complain!

At least the cat will have food to eat over Christmas...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jaded on December 23, 2017, 12:32:11 am
Got a card today and spent a long time trying to decipher which neighbour it had been left with. Eventually gave up and decided the neighbour would bring it round.

Daughter deciphers the neighbour's name and finds the parcel behind the bins.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Diver300 on December 30, 2017, 05:51:14 pm
The Post Office brought a parcel to within 50m of the house two weeks ago and are now denying all knowledge of it. I guess that a temporary postman couldn't find the house, as we're behind, not beside, houses n-2, n-4 etc, and there are no higher numbers.

(Parcel contained a tracking unit that works sometimes, and it was working when brought here. Tracking unit has now run out of elecktrickery so I've lost track of it's whereabouts)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on December 31, 2017, 04:38:16 pm
I finally re-arranged my pre-Christmas Parcelfarce delivery as they'd given up even pretending to try and deliver it. For Friday. So, of course, they tried to deliver it on Thursday. You know, if I were on Thursday I'd have bloody chosen Thursday.

Fortunately they left it at the local Post Office, which was altogether more sensible than some depot in Sutton.

Anyway, the gin was nice.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on January 02, 2018, 03:28:04 pm
DPD

A parcel was 'delivered' while we were away. MrsC received an email to say it had been delivered to number 11 and signed for by Ivan.

No it bloody hadn't. The courier had shoved a card through the door saying 'parcel in black bin'.
The rubbish bin. Literally dropped in the rubbish bin.

Good thing there wasn't a rubbish collection while we were away
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mattc on January 02, 2018, 05:09:16 pm
The Post Office brought a parcel to within 50m of the house two weeks ago and are now denying all knowledge of it. I guess that a temporary postman couldn't find the house, as we're behind, not beside, houses n-2, n-4 etc, and there are no higher numbers.

(Parcel contained a tracking unit that works sometimes, and it was working when brought here. Tracking unit has now run out of elecktrickery so I've lost track of it's whereabouts)
Sorry, but that's quite funny  ;D
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: DuncanM on January 02, 2018, 05:20:44 pm
Just before Christmas, we received 2 parcels from Amazon - left inside our food waste bin. On top of the (stinky) food waste. :sick: Plus a card that we couldn't read through the door.
It's especially annoying because 2ft from the food waste bin is a small blue door that opens into our garage - delivery people (if they are minded to leave something rather than just take it away again) usually leave stuff in there.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Diver300 on January 07, 2018, 08:05:59 am
The Post Office brought a parcel to within 50m of the house two weeks ago and are now denying all knowledge of it. I guess that a temporary postman couldn't find the house, as we're behind, not beside, houses n-2, n-4 etc, and there are no higher numbers.

(Parcel contained a tracking unit that works sometimes, and it was working when brought here. Tracking unit has now run out of elecktrickery so I've lost track of it's whereabouts)
Sorry, but that's quite funny  ;D
I found that the parcel had been sent with a tracking number, told that to the Post Office, and they haven't got back to me.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: andytheflyer on January 07, 2018, 08:52:15 am
Ordered a 20kg sack of bird food 8/12 via eBay, for delivery by UK Mail 12/12.  No show.

Checked tracking a few days later: collected, in transit, delayed.

Chased supplier 1/1/18 via eBay: pls wait a few days

Waited, chased supplier again: pls contact UK Mail with tracking number.  Reluctantly, and after again asking for a refund, I did.

UK Mail:  Supplier never sent it, we never collected it.

Supplier: Lying toads (or words to that effect).  They collected it on 8/12.

Me to supplier 5/1/18:  Refund pls or I'll raise it with eBay.

Deafening silence from supplier, so when eBay ask if the matter us resolved, it ain't.  Sorry supplier, I asked you twice for a refund, you haven't, so expect the big stick from eBay. I know it's not your fault, but my contract with you includes delivery, and you've not delivered, so you are in breach of contract.

EDIT 8/1:  Apparently UK Mail have found it, and as a peace offering they'll deliver it before 1200 tomorrow.  I can't wait.......
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: fuzzy (retd.) AAGE on January 07, 2018, 11:05:26 pm
It isn't always the courier. Sometimes it is the supplier.

Twice last week we recieved deliveries for someone else-

One was a staff purchase for another shop and was just a packing mix up.

The other was parts for a job. The delivery we recieved had our delivery address label attached to it, next to the consignment label which had the correct destination on it- another bike shop in Aakmarl, Netherlands. I guess our spares for a workshop job are enjoying a short continental break ::-)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Torslanda on January 08, 2018, 12:25:45 pm
Just before crimbo a $jolly-large-distributor sent me two parcels, both refurbished suspension components, both jolly expensive repair bills, neither of them mine.

It's not the first time either. No point in trying to claim them as TNT would simply produce the POD and I'd be in lumber.

They also sent me an account statement around the same time showing a credit in my favour. When I queried this it turned out to be somebody else's money. Good job I didn't try and spend it.

Maybe Fuzzy & I need a 'Shite Distributors' thread . . .
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on January 08, 2018, 12:42:53 pm
Did grink DPD the other day after one of their vans roared by at stupid speed and then proceeded to try and get up the steeper bit of the lane beyond ours by spinning its wheels frantically. I would have minded less had I been more than 10 cm away and walking up that lane. I believe the cloud of smoke from under the bonnet was the soul of his clutch departing. Apparently it wasn't my problem because 'he wasn't delivering to me.'

Got the boilerplate response, so I'm not overly hopefully they'll have some words, though they really should.

Never got around to grinking Parcelfarce for pre-christmas lies. Life is too short.

In other news, I like Hermes. There, I said it. They bring a lot of my beer and our bunch seems to be a wife-and-husband team (I presume some kind of franchise) who are uncommonly helpful.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on January 20, 2018, 11:26:43 am
For some reason despite the big sign on front door in my very tidy handwriting saying 'leave with neighbour if a signature is required' RM took my parcel back to the post office to collect. Mildly annoying, since next door is obviously a lot closer than a twenty minute round trip by foot.

So, I wander down this morning, grab my parcel and return home. On the mat there's another RM 'sorry you are not home' card. So, yes, my second parcel will now be at the PO for collection. Worse, the van passed me as I walked up the hill. Taunting me, I tell you.

Le sigh. I guess they don't do the leave with the neighbour thing even though there's a space on the card to say they've done just that.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jakob W on January 20, 2018, 01:22:28 pm
Our postie sometimes leaves stuff with the neighbours, and occasionally signs for stuff and shoves it through the letterbox if it will fit. It does seem to be random as to whether parcels are left for pickup at the local post office (5 minutes walk away) or at the sorting office in town (20 minutes each way).
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on January 20, 2018, 01:47:18 pm
They always used to, I assume it's the same postie. I wouldn't mind if it weren't for the big sign. Our neighbour's front door isn't far away, it's not like I live on a country estate, and she's an older retired lady and mostly in, so quite handy for that sort of thing.

It's one of those things, something worth a £5 ends up going through this rigmarole. If it's worth a couple of hundred quid they'll leave on the front step in full view all day. Reminds me that the RM still have a key to my garage (actually it's the passage under the house, which looks like a garage but isn't), they used to leave all the mailbags there for the postie to deliver (for the princely sum, I think, of £95 year). Anyway, they stopped a few years back and now do everything in a single van which seems a lot less efficient. No idea if they're still paying me the £95.

And now, I have another parcel (don't ask, when I do any shopping I do it all at once) out for delivery with Hermes (so says the email that plinked into my inbox earlier). I was hoping for some kind of tracking but it helpfully says between 1400-1800 which isn't very specific. Oh well, I probably won't be here for that one either. Oh well, I hate going to shops, so this is my punishment.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on January 20, 2018, 07:28:31 pm
Score for Hermes, much derided in these parts, but they manage to deliver my parcels with consistent aplomb. Read the note and put it in the right place, even under the box that I put out and wrote 'parcel under here, thanks' to keep the rain off.

See, Royal Mail, it's not that hard. And I note they've randomly left the lastest parcel at the sorting office and not the PO. That's even further (about three minutes admittedly).
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Basil on January 20, 2018, 07:41:38 pm
Royal Mail don't seem to bother with signatures here if they can fit it through the letterbox.   This includes tracked documents etc.
We've finally trained RM, Yodel et al not to let themselves in to leave stuff on the kitchen table.  Seems that was the deal with previous occupants.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jaded on January 22, 2018, 06:13:49 pm
Sat in the house, waiting for two separate deliveries.

PING!!  email

PING!!  email

Quote
Amazon Logistics attempted to deliver your package but couldn't leave it unattended. They will make another delivery attempt the next day.

Quote
Amazon Logistics attempted to deliver your package but couldn't leave it unattended. They will make another delivery attempt the next day.

The instructions say to follow the details on the card they left. Which they didn't.

Why lie? Why not just say, "sorry, we've been unable to deliver today"?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on January 22, 2018, 06:41:29 pm
Presumably it's the driver not bothering with all the palaver of stopping and knocking on your door rather than Amazon High Command. They probably think they did try.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jaded on January 22, 2018, 07:09:44 pm
I think after the 15 min phone call they no longer think they did try  ;D
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Torslanda on January 22, 2018, 10:28:37 pm
I read this morning of Valiant's tribulations at the hands of one spectacular fuckwit who works for REDACTED.

If you're in touch on SoshullMeeja you will doubtless have read it.

TL/DR SIX attempts in FIVE days for ONE 'overnight' delivery. Excuses included 'not being able to find Limehouse Town Hall'

Think Sam wins the thread - if not the entire intarwebbzzzzz.....
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on January 22, 2018, 10:32:08 pm
I read this morning of Valiant's tribulations at the hands of one spectacular fuckwit who works for REDACTED.

If you're in touch on SoshullMeeja you will doubtless have read it.

TL/DR SIX attempts in FIVE days for ONE 'overnight' delivery. Excuses included 'not being able to find Limehouse Town Hall'

Think Sam wins the thread - if not the entire intarwebbzzzzz.....

I too read of Sam's tribulations on Bookface. I think most of his trouble lies with one rogue driver, which does not exonerate the courier company...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jaded on January 23, 2018, 12:45:45 am
What I don’t understand is why they choose this course of action, when it’s a lot easier just to deliver the stuff.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on January 28, 2018, 06:35:28 pm
Considering that delivery is a key part of this entire internet economy thing, it's a surprise it's still so shit and I still get things like 'your parcel will be delivered at some point in the next three days' or some entirely useless nonsense. Honestly, how hard is to track these shipments in real-time? Surely there's an app for that. I can track taxis and bloody planes, why not a delivery van.

Anyway, I ordered four things recently, as mentioned upthread. One was delivered fine (Hermes), two I had to collect myself from the depot (Royal Mail), and one has yet to appear so I assume has been lost. I don't even have a tracking number which doesn't help. If it's been delivered, it's not been delivered here. I remember the last time this happened and the vendor said 'are you sure it's not been delivered?' I'm not phoning you because I'm lonely. Eventually they sent another one and then two weeks later RM delivered the original 'lost' item. I've no idea where it went for four weeks.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jaded on January 28, 2018, 07:40:43 pm
DPD give you an hour slot and do an element of tracking, and ParcelFarce seem to give you an hour slot (then change it by text so you are in the shower when they turn up).

The tech is there, I imagine it is about paying for it that is the real issue. Why pay for software and hardware to deliver properly when you can throw the stuff over a fence. Or put it in the bin on bin night, which Amashun did last week. Just as well I read the card properly (which I thought was gong to say left with blah-blah neighbour - as that is what the arrangement was...)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on January 29, 2018, 11:24:19 am
DPD are probably the best for tracking, unfortunately in my experience, their drivers seem to think they're on a getaway from a major bank heist.

I'd mind less if it was 'free P&P' but when it's £2.99 on top of a £12 item. Seems to be straight-to-post RM hence no tracking (possibly, I didn't set up an account as a vendor, so the 'track your item' link takes me to a blank account page). I seem to recall my wife's christmas gin ended up back the PO with no card left (because they never tried to redeliver it, that was a just a lie), though that at least had a tracking link that told me it was there.

Anyway, they're 'looking into it.' If I run out of garishly coloured fountain pen ink, it'll be a major #firstworldproblem.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on January 29, 2018, 11:58:32 am
Well, they apparently either lost it or someone at RM is now a nicely regal shade of dark purple.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on February 05, 2018, 07:14:57 pm
Grauniad POBI story. Very sad.
https://www.theguardian.com/business/2018/feb/05/courier-who-was-fined-for-day-off-to-see-doctor-dies-from-diabetes?CMP=share_btn_tw (https://www.theguardian.com/business/2018/feb/05/courier-who-was-fined-for-day-off-to-see-doctor-dies-from-diabetes?CMP=share_btn_tw)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on February 05, 2018, 07:26:14 pm
I just put it in on-the-road. Sad very, but I'm a bit concerned that despite the fact it seemed that both he and DPD knew he had very poorly controlled diabetes, he kept driving.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on February 05, 2018, 07:47:37 pm
I too am concerned about that aspect.
This chap drove and died within a couple of miles of where David & I were in early January.

There are many very dodgy drivers in that part of the world; I have treated them as a doctor, David's Dad continued driving too long IMO and the Bournemouth Daily Echo frequently reports mishaps.

[OT] This one is within a furlong of David's Dad http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/15919855.Police_called_to_three_car_crash_on_Barrack_Road_in_Christchurch/?ref=mr&lp=26 (http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/15919855.Police_called_to_three_car_crash_on_Barrack_Road_in_Christchurch/?ref=mr&lp=26).
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: madcow on February 13, 2018, 02:46:22 pm
Effing Royal Mail. You would think that "Signed for "  was pretty safe but you would be wrong.
The fuckwits obv. think that "Signed for" means valuable when every one else on the planet knows that Ebay virtually demands that you use a trackable method of delivery otherwise when the buyer claims that they haven't received an item , the sender needs proof of receipt to contest the claim.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Guy on February 16, 2018, 12:14:46 pm
While on the subject of Royal Mail, a package posted in Wellingborough on 31 Jan arrived at Castle Guy yesterday. That's 2 1/2 weeks to cover a distance I can ride in 2 1/2 hours!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Moleman76 on February 18, 2018, 06:42:38 am
one USAnian delivery service, "OnTrac", hires drivers who think that our gate posts -- about 500 feet away from our house -- are the front door, and leave packages out there.  They also seem to be trained to believe cardboard boxes are waterproof.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Beardy on March 09, 2018, 02:23:01 pm
DPD.

I ordered a drone from a company in Manchester on Tuesday and by Wednesday their order system showed the order as completed a few hours later the DPD tracking system acknowledged the tracking number and that they had 'received details of your order' and the Where has your parcel been showed Manchester and Your parcel is on its way.

As I was not at home yesterday I used their tracking system to tell them this and that I'd like delivery today, so their system now shows that my parcel will be delivered today. But as nothing else has changed on their system, I'm not confident that the parcel will arrive today, which is a shame because its a birthday present to me (from me :D) for tomorrow.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Polar Bear on March 29, 2018, 09:50:43 am
Parcel Farce

I got a txt this morning telling me that Gary will deliver my package between 08:00 and 09:00.  For the best part of the past hour Gary's van is showing on the live tracker as being just around the corner. 

Fucktards.  Liars.  Scum.    >:(  >:(  >:(  >:(  >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Polar Bear on March 29, 2018, 10:45:38 am
So, live tracking is now not working.  They cannot contact the driver and thus they have no idea when my parcel will be delivered.

The manager was most put out when I emphasised that I wished to complain about their shite tracking process and erroneous information and NOT about the driver who is presumably out doing his job.  Oh, and about the call that I will undoubtedly have to pay for chasing them up.

As I type I get a call from Kirsty at Coventry.  She was very apologetic and tells me that in fact my parcel will not be delivered before 1:30p.m. and that the van is nowhere near me at present in spite of the fictional live tracker.   WTF ???

Naturally I thanked Kirsty for being very helpful and emphasised once again the basis of my complaint which she can put directly into the system for me.  Contradicts earlier information from 'customer service'. 

Parcel Farce indeed. 
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Greenbank on March 29, 2018, 10:55:21 am
The most obvious answer is that the parcel wasn't actually in Gary's van as it was supposed to be.

The live tracker (of Gary's van, not your parcel) was almost certainly correct as Gary was probably stopped just around the corner searching his van for your parcel which should have been there as you were next on his list of drops.

It's probably in another van (or back at the depot) hence the later delivery time.

They cannot contact the driver and thus they have no idea when my parcel will be delivered.

Translated: "They've spoken to the driver and the driver can't find the parcel."
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Polar Bear on March 29, 2018, 12:16:57 pm
Well, I could see this but the very fact that the tracker put the van round the corner for an hour, we checked twice and it wasn't there makes me think that this isn't the case.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Polar Bear on March 29, 2018, 02:18:52 pm
The surly Gary just arrived.  Good call Greenbank insofar as at 8:30 this morning he was just around the corner and that he 'had to go somewhere else' for reason(s) not specified.

Why the tracker showed him there for over an hour remains a mystery.

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Greenbank on March 29, 2018, 02:36:59 pm
Why the tracker showed him there for over an hour remains a mystery.

The tracker page will just show the position of the last update received. It's not "live" live. My guess is that he was there, couldn't find the package and hit some button that disabled further location updates whilst it was all sorted out (probably to hide the fact he was returning to the depot). The website is just showing the location of his last update. Back at the depot he would have got it sorted, enabled the location updates again and he suddenly jumps to being on his route.

There's plenty of reasons why you wouldn't put exact tracking information on the Internet. For example, if you could see exactly where his drops were you'd have a good chance of finding a bunch of parcels left in bin sheds or on doorsteps.

Anyway, glad it's sorted.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: fuzzy (retd.) AAGE on March 29, 2018, 11:30:06 pm
The surly Gary just arrived.  Good call Greenbank insofar as at 8:30 this morning he was just around the corner and that he 'had to go somewhere else' for reason(s) not specified.

Why the tracker showed him there for over an hour remains a mystery.

When I first read that I thought Polar Bear had just taken delivery of a new fat bike........
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Torslanda on March 30, 2018, 11:28:56 am
That 'working in a bike shop' thing is getting to you . . .  ;D

It's all good.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Polar Bear on March 30, 2018, 11:44:20 am
The surly Gary just arrived.  Good call Greenbank insofar as at 8:30 this morning he was just around the corner and that he 'had to go somewhere else' for reason(s) not specified.

Why the tracker showed him there for over an hour remains a mystery.

When I first read that I thought Polar Bear had just taken delivery of a new fat bike........

Nope  A new pair of bins.  Lovely they are too.  Opticron Countryman 12x50 (https://www.wexphotovideo.com/opticron-countryman-bga-hd-12x50-roof-prism-binoculars-1557393/).   I think that I may have got the last pair.   8)

I know what some knowledgeable folk will say about lens ratios and field of vision but actually these bins do what I need them for and that's the very important bit.   :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: SteveC on March 30, 2018, 11:52:56 am
I know what some knowledgeable folk will say about lens ratios and field of vision but actually these bins do what I need them for and that's the very important bit.   :thumbsup:
Our very serious birdwatching friends never recommend specific binoculars. They always say to go and try out as many as you can and find the ones which work for you. And this is from someone who will spend £1500 on bits of kit.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: cycleman on March 30, 2018, 06:54:02 pm
We get our bins from the council . Red green and black  ;)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Polar Bear on March 30, 2018, 08:09:18 pm
We get our bins from the council . Red green and black  ;)

My bins are see-through!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jaded on April 07, 2018, 06:41:47 am
Ordered two things last week. From the same supplier, on the same order. They were given one tracking number. That tracking number showed on the tracking page as 1 box, to be delivered by Yodel. My heart sunk; as most likely I was now set on a course of anger management spread over 12 hours, with added missing postcard.

In the middle of the day the doorbell rang and one box was delivered by a DPD driver. I asked the driver about the other box. Shaky head time.

Some time later the door bell rang again and an unbranded delivery service delivered the second box, just as I was checking the tracking of the parcel again.

A little while later the door bell rang again and the same driver delivered another box, from a different supplier, that he’d forgotten.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Hot Flatus on April 07, 2018, 07:00:12 am
As long as they all get delivered whilst Mrs Jaded is still at work you can count it as a success  ;)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: PeteB99 on April 23, 2018, 01:15:41 pm
Just had a hit and run from DPD

I was upstairs changing the bed linen when the doorbell went. By the time I'd got down stairs and opened the front door a sorry we missed you note had been posted and the driver and van had gone. Must have been all of 40 seconds.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on April 23, 2018, 01:53:43 pm
I am expecting DPD between 14.12 and 15.12.

I am watching driver's progress and will migrate to door when it's 3 stops away.

I may be some time...

ETA 1) 14.00  Still waiting. I am #77. Scant van progress with #76 less than a mile away.

ETA 2) 15.15 States parcel was delivered and signed for at 15.05 by 'VBAR' who is unknown to us...
On hold, phoning DPD...

ETA 3) 16.04 Item arrived at 16.00. I had spent AGES on hold to DPD by then. No phone numbers are given on their website; had to resort to Google Maps for that.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: toontra on May 05, 2018, 10:48:57 am
I had to return my Wahoo Bolt to Wiggle to be replaced under warranty (already agreed with Wahoo), so I used their CollectPlus returns service.

Took the parcel to a CollectPlus store last Sunday morning & it was collected from there on Sunday evening.  Since then it's been sitting in their warehouse for 5 days and say it won't be delivered to Wiggle until Tuesday at the earliest. 

When I spoke to their CS chap I was told that for companies like Wiggle they will allow returns to build up until they fill a container (or whatever) to make fewer trips.  Great from their point of view but not from mine!

Even allowing for the bank holiday on Monday, that's a total of 9 days to deliver a package from central London to wherever Wiggle are (not far, I assume).  That's crap IMO.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: BrianI on May 21, 2018, 09:27:24 pm
Was supposed to be receiving   a signed for package from Wiggle today ( a 1L bottle of joe's no tubes sealant).

Watching the yodel tracking webpage count down till I'm the 2nd in line for delivery.

Except the last tracking message states that my package was refused on the doorstep due to being damaged at 15:59pm today.  Except no one was at my door!

Then magically between 7pm and 9pm a tesco carrier bag was left on my doorstep with my opened leaky parcel with a soggy bottom covered in joes sealant.

 ???

I had already contacted wiggle earlier this evening, explaining my parcel had apparently been refused on the doorstep. Wiggles response was that they had ran out of the sealant, so do I wish to cancel the order for a full refund?  Yes I replied.

And now the order turns up, albiet in a soggy mess of leaky sealant.  Which kind of somes up my previous trial of tubeless conversion on my mtb with a joes no tubes kit (non tubeless rims & non tubeless ready tyres) - I had ordered the extra sealant inc ase the conversion was a success so I'd always have sealant to hand.

So perhaps this is fate telling me to just stick to ye olde worlde inner tubes!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: MikeFromLFE on May 22, 2018, 09:33:09 am
Ordered some garden furniture from B&Q. I was given a delivery day of last Thursday - about a week after the order was placed, but, whatever.
B&Q website says that the delivery window is 8am to 6pm  - about 4:20pm I start getting a bit twitchy, so I rang the B&Q curiously named helpline, who helpfully informed me that, no, it wasn't going to be delivered today, and, no, they didn't know where it was, or when it was going to be delivered. It was with DX couriers somewhere between Wolverhampton and Nottingham, but it had left Wolverhampton the previous day and never arrived.
I had a bit of blood pressure and got an offer of a delivery the following Wednesday (tomorrow) 6 days after the original delivery date.  A bit more blood pressure, with a threat to cancel the order, I got a promise to deliver it on the Monday. This was realistically the best I was going to get - so I accepted.
Come about 6:30 on the day of the original delivery I get a text from DX telling me that my scheduled delivery has been cancelled. What F:::ing scheduled delivery?
Anyway the stuff was delivered as promised on Monday.
I await B&Qs response to my green ink email.

Sent from my Moto E (4) Plus using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on May 24, 2018, 07:40:07 pm
I am expecting DPD between 14.12 and 15.12.

I am watching driver's progress and will migrate to door when it's 3 stops away.

I may be some time...

ETA 1) 14.00  Still waiting. I am #77. Scant van progress with #76 less than a mile away.

ETA 2) 15.15 States parcel was delivered and signed for at 15.05 by 'VBAR' who is unknown to us...
On hold, phoning DPD...

ETA 3) 16.04 Item arrived at 16.00. I had spent AGES on hold to DPD by then. No phone numbers are given on their website; had to resort to Google Maps for that.

Got my on-line phone bill today. (BT landline with Any time add-ons)
My calls to DPD that day totalled £4.38 and I never even spoke to anyone!

GRR!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on May 24, 2018, 07:58:42 pm
Our-favourite-telco should offer a tariff for people who spend a lot of time on hold to idiot organisations...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on May 24, 2018, 08:26:26 pm
They are MINTING it with this! They won't give this nice little earner up.

GGGRRR!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on May 31, 2018, 01:14:25 pm
Expecting dpd between 15.00 and 16.00...

ETA I think this is the same Jason from DPD who 'disappeared' with the cat litter last month.

Today's delivery is a Thing from Fruit. I've booked the 15.00-16.00 slot.
13.45 Jason is about a mile away, on delivery 88.

I am supposedly #120...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Robert S. Thorn on May 31, 2018, 01:43:25 pm
Parcel Force are exceptionally incompetent in my experience.  I think that I'll have to ask suppliers to use My Hermes as they seem to be the best of the bunch round here.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on May 31, 2018, 02:00:13 pm
I suspect Jason might be better-paid for a timed Fruit Thing than untimed cat litter. Fruit Thing might just arrive within the slot.

Jason spends AGES round Camrose Avenue!

ETA Jason delivered Fruit at 15.28. Fruit delivery did not seem to interrupt the conversation he was having into his brick-sized phone.

Jason's van and polo shirt were pale blue, in DPD livery.

I was expecting red.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: jsabine on May 31, 2018, 09:57:24 pm
Blue is DPD Local, formerly known as Interlink Express.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on June 01, 2018, 01:12:13 am
Which explains why it's been Jason at least twice and his TINY patch...

I have not tracked him outside HA8.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on June 06, 2018, 03:40:56 pm
Today was a bit special. There's a note on my door that says 'please knock, if no reply please put parcels under the box behind the porch.'

I don't think these are especially difficult to follow instructions. Except he (a) didn't knock, otherwise I'd have heard him and (b) I wouldn't have found a pile of parcels on the front step with the box from behind the porch balanced on top of them. The wrong way up.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: pcolbeck on June 15, 2018, 01:14:33 pm
Heremes, its always Hermes. Just looked at the tracking site and they say they attempted to deliver my package 5 minutes ago and will now try again in 24 hours. No they bloody didn't. I've been sat here waiting and in fact too delivery of something else from UK Mail ten minutes ago. Mo card and no dog going mad because some ones in the drive. They just haven't been at all
Luckily it was a non urgent parcel..
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: essexian on June 28, 2018, 11:45:54 am
DX....

I paid £12.95 for overnight delivery but my item has been stuck in Rotherham since 3.37am on the 25th.... I make that several overnights ago.

Not best pleased as without the item I can't finish refitting my office.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: essexian on July 03, 2018, 08:25:50 am
DX....

I paid £12.95 for overnight delivery but my item has been stuck in Rotherham since 3.37am on the 25th.... I make that several overnights ago.

Not best pleased as without the item I can't finish refitting my office.

Just to update this...the item had not arrived by Friday so I emailed the seller, a large online retailer twice and was ignored twice. So, as I had paid via Paypal I contacted them for a refund. The seller spring into action and tracked the item... well claimed to have spoken to the parcel company who said that they had never received the item despite there being a tracking record of them doing so.

So, lost parcel...would I like another one?

My reply was a no. Frankly, why should I trust the company again, especially when the lost item was.... a 3m long piece of carpet...... got to say, that takes some losing!  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rogerzilla on July 19, 2018, 03:11:12 pm
UPS (which I think stands for Utter Pile of Shite).

Went through tortuous online process on Monday to change delivery date to today.  They even wrote to me via snail mail to give me activation details (although the site seems to work anyway).  No package, turns out they delivered it to a not-very local shop on Tuesday and ignored the instructions.

Ordure-liveried American incompetents.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on August 07, 2018, 11:00:20 am
Parcelfarce have apparently left a package with a neighbour while we were away over the weekend.  I know this because their website shows a signature and a name I don't recognise.

No card through the door, no clue as to which of the many - mostly empty - houses it might be.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on August 07, 2018, 12:14:05 pm
Parcelfarce have apparently left a package with a neighbour while we were away over the weekend.  I know this because their website shows a signature and a name I don't recognise.

No card through the door, no clue as to which of the many - mostly empty - houses it might be.

SJS got a surprisingly prompt answer from Parcelfarce, and the parcel turned out to be at no. n-7 (several houses down on the other side of the road).
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jaded on August 07, 2018, 01:31:56 pm
Parcelfarce sent me a notification saying between 09:00 and 10:00
They sent me another saying between 08:57 and 09:57

They arrived at 08:45. I was in the shower.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on August 07, 2018, 02:06:25 pm
Anything that involves removing your trousers is bound to make the courier turn up.  It's like rain and barbecues.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Peter on August 07, 2018, 02:30:10 pm
Parcelfarce sent me a notification saying between 09:00 and 10:00
They sent me another saying between 08:57 and 09:57

They arrived at 08:45. I was in the shower.

And it's not even a leap year.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jaded on August 07, 2018, 04:09:45 pm
 ;D
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mcshroom on August 20, 2018, 09:13:25 pm
Hermes' latest version of "delivered" today involved shoving my parcel under the windward side of my car bumper in the rain. It's a good job neither item inside was sensitive to being soaked! :facepalm:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on September 11, 2018, 03:15:01 pm
I reckoned it was probably worth mentioning the DHL Soup Dragon saga here.  Mr Larrington reports. (http://automatic-diary.blogspot.com/2018/09/day-21-battle-mountain-nv.html)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on September 17, 2018, 05:35:11 am
I reckoned it was probably worth mentioning the DHL Soup Dragon saga here.  Mr Larrington reports. (http://automatic-diary.blogspot.com/2018/09/day-21-battle-mountain-nv.html)

It arrived in the end, possibly because DHL decided to pull their collective finger out on hearing that there was a CNN crew at the event*.  They finally managed to get it on a "special" flight to Reno, where the team found it had been given a thoroughly good kicking in transit, requiring an all-nighter by a Several of fettlers to get back into something akin to the shape it had been when it left the UK.

* Not a news crew, mind, but no-one was going to tell that to the lying workshy twats at DHL.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Beardy on September 21, 2018, 01:43:20 pm
DPD, can you tell me what is the point of having an app on my phone that informs me 'my' driver is Dave and he will deliver between 11:23 and 12:23 . Then for that same app to inform me at 12:20 that Dave is 30 minutes away. Only for me to check the app on the no show of Dave at 13:00 only for that very same app to inform me that I am the next of Dave’s deliveries and he will deliver in 1:33 minutes. Oh, and the little icon that represents Dave on the little map seems to be in Norwich, so that at least is consistent with the latest time update.

It’s just as well I’ve not made plans especially to be in over lunch time to receive the parcel. You shower of incompetent shits.

And now their app,is telling me that my parcel was refused! No it fucking well wasn’t. When your driver was supposed to be delivering it according to his schedule, he was in actual fact in Norwich 60 miles away.  >:( >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on September 21, 2018, 02:39:29 pm
I think know DPD drivers seem very 'creative' with their delivery data.

Bad luck Beardy!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Beardy on September 21, 2018, 04:11:06 pm
I have to take some of that back because it’s not entirely DPDs fault. The address is correct for delivery and payment but the post code of the apple emporium in Norwich has appeared from somewhere to replace my post code in the delivery address field. This has obviously happened automatically because I don’t know the post code of the apple store. Part of the blame therefore has to go to Apple for having a system that a) auto populates a field  and b) allows a post code and an address that doesn’t match. DPD can’t be completely absolved of responsibility though, because the were the ones who obviously didn’t read the delivery address.
I’m also going to have to accept part of the blame I suppose for not thoroughly checking the addresses rather than just glancing at them
Arse.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Feanor on October 16, 2018, 08:53:16 pm
I have a not-crap story...

My lunchtime ride yesterday was plagued by multiple p*nctures for reasons I don't need to go into here.
My companion set off back to work, to collect a car to rescue me.

In the meantime, as I was waiting around, a DPD van pulled up and asked if I was OK, and offered to take me pretty much anywhere.
The driver was, of course, a cyclist.

So if your DPD delivery is running late, perhaps the driver is doing a bit of off-piste cyclist recovery...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on October 16, 2018, 11:17:36 pm
I have to take some of that back because it’s not entirely DPDs fault. The address is correct for delivery and payment but the post code of the apple emporium in Norwich has appeared from somewhere to replace my post code in the delivery address field. This has obviously happened automatically because I don’t know the post code of the apple store. Part of the blame therefore has to go to Apple for having a system that a) auto populates a field  and b) allows a post code and an address that doesn’t match. DPD can’t be completely absolved of responsibility though, because the were the ones who obviously didn’t read the delivery address.
I’m also going to have to accept part of the blame I suppose for not thoroughly checking the addresses rather than just glancing at them
Arse.

[OT for this thread]
Big Businesses seem to have strange databases.

I pay my electricity bill by Bank Transfer when I receive a paper bill. (I like to have a paper Proof of Address.)
My bank will not accept the sort code the electricity company gives me and automagically 'corrects' the details I attempt to enter.

The money seems to go to the right place and I've not been disconnected yet.
But it seems impossible to enter the 'right' details!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on October 17, 2018, 09:10:05 am
Three little letters. S. A. P.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Legs on October 22, 2018, 10:33:10 am
Postie,

When you deliver my Bluetooth speaker prize (did I mention that I won PopMaster (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=62680.625) on Friday?) it would be useful if you actually came to the door, rather than just leaving a missed delivery note in the letterbox.  My wife was in the kitchen.  Was it just that you couldn't be bothered to carry it?

kthanxbai
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Deano on November 08, 2018, 12:26:18 pm
UK Mail/DHL

What a pile of shit.

Message received 31/10/18 advising they'd attempt delivery.

I wasn't in (fair enough). No card was left when I got home, though.

Message received 01/11/18 saying they'd again attempt delivery.

I was in, but no one came, and no one left a card.

I go onto their website, and I was pleased to see that the depot is just around the corner, rather than Bloody Miles Away. But I can't collect it without the delivery card (which they haven't left).

The website takes me round in circles while I try to get it delivered to a local shop. I give up.

A couple of days later, and they haven't attempted to contact me, and I go onto their website again, go round in a few more circles, and eventually send them an email. Automated reply received saying they'd contact me within one working day.

Over a working day later, and having received no reply from UK Mail/DHL, I contact the sender telling them to get the courier to pull their finger out.

Today, I try again, as according to the site my parcel is still at the depot. Buried on the website is a phone number, and after going through the usual rigmarole, an automated voice tells me it's been returned to the sender.

Fucksake.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Greenbank on November 10, 2018, 10:29:53 pm
When you deliver my Bluetooth speaker prize (did I mention that I won PopMaster (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=62680.625) on Friday?) it would be useful if you actually came to the door, rather than just leaving a missed delivery note in the letterbox.  My wife was in the kitchen.  Was it just that you couldn't be bothered to carry it?

Contract staff (more and more common as Christmas approaches) aren't allowed to deliver real parcels (for fear they will steal them), so they are sent out to deliver the 'Sorry we were unable to deliver it' cards instead, and you have to go get it from the nearby/far-away sorting office.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on November 11, 2018, 01:47:18 pm
Has anyone mentioned Postman Pat (https://twitter.com/Cain_Unable/status/1061173112719454208)?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: madcow on November 19, 2018, 06:39:47 pm
Has anyone used Collectplus as a delivery point?
I have sent an item by Hermes and they have a signature from the receiving shop.
The recipient confirms that he has had an email confirming delivery . That email is triggered by the parcel being scanned in but the shop concerned can’t find the parcel.
I don’t see how it’s my problem - BUT this is a flea bay sale and often they side with the buyer.
Any thoughts?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on November 19, 2018, 08:51:29 pm
Yodel. “Your parcel has been left in the porch”. We don’t have a porch. Left in plain view of the street, outside the front door, open to the elements. Despite neighbours either side being home. Class.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Ham on November 20, 2018, 12:38:20 pm
Has anyone used Collectplus as a delivery point?
I have sent an item by Hermes and they have a signature from the receiving shop.
The recipient confirms that he has had an email confirming delivery . That email is triggered by the parcel being scanned in but the shop concerned can’t find the parcel.
I don’t see how it’s my problem - BUT this is a flea bay sale and often they side with the buyer.
Any thoughts?

Funny you should say that, it appears that eBay has an odd arrangement with Collectplus.

Until a few days ago, I though that CollectPlus was a delivery service, when it arrived at the target you got an email with a barcode to collect.

Mrs Ham bought something off ebay for me as  a surprise, but forgot to log me out of eBay so I got all the notifications. When it hadn't arrived I contacted the seller, who said it had been delivered to the store. Neither Mrs Ham nor I had any email with barcode, so she rocked up at the store and asked if they had anything for her. "eBay?" quoth the assistant, raising his eyebrows at the answer. Came back out with an armload of parcels, looked for Mrs Ham's name, handed it over without any check or electronic tracking. Turns out it was sent second class post, tracked, that's all. Connection with Collect Plus appears as tenuous as sending it to a random shop on a high street.

sounds like there's a bit of a disaster building up.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: madcow on November 20, 2018, 02:09:58 pm
Fortunately for me, eBay have acknowledged to the buyer that the parcel has been delivered to the address that he quoted. They used the tracking number that I had entered on the item sold/ dispatched bit.
The buyer then asked me for the tracking number.  :facepalm:
Does sound like Collectplus operators need to get their act together .
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Ham on November 20, 2018, 06:10:00 pm

Does sound like Collectplus operators need to get their act together .

No, it sounds like CollectPlus and eBay have entered into an agreement is totally impractical and hasn't been thought through.

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: De Sisti on November 21, 2018, 07:47:36 am
I nominate Hermes. They were supposed to have delivered a parcel from Wiggle between
12 and 6 pm on Fri 2nd Nov (that was the time they allocated to me). At 5:52 I heard some
noise outside my house. There was a 'package' addressed for no.72 (about 30 yards from
my house) in my porch. I had to take it to no.72.


By 6 pm my parcel hadn't been delivered. I received a text message from Hermes to say
that they had delivered my Wiggle parcel and to check the parcel number (provided in the
text) on their website.


I checked the Hermes website and saw a photograph of something that appeared to the back
of the headrest in a car. It wasn't the parcel I was expecting. In my opinion, the Hermes
delivery driver attempted to steal my parcel. I managed to contact someone on their chat link
and advised them to look at the picture that was uploaded and stated that it wasn't my
expected parcel. I also complained to Wiggle that their courier of choice had failed to provide
my next-day delivery.


My parcel arrived 24 hours late, and to this date Hermes have not accepted the fact that their
driver failed to deliver my parcel on time and fraudulently uploaded a photo with a gps tag
for my address claiming to have delivered.


Wiggle weren't much help either.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: fuzzy (retd.) AAGE on November 21, 2018, 10:07:11 am
The joys of online shopping......
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on November 21, 2018, 10:18:55 am
I seem to have taught all our couriers to use the box I put behind the porch (just a bog standard plastic box and sealed lid, large enough to keep an average parcel dry and located out of the view of the street). Other than the incident where the courier went around and get the box, upturned it on the porch steps and used it as a display pedestal for our parcel, of course, but that was a bit of a one-off. I guess we have a limited number of couriers covering the area so we get the same drivers over and over. Previous to this, they always used to take the bloody parcel back to the depot (for some reason never leaving with our neighbour).

I do now have magic cameras that trigger on the driveway and in the porch so I can see what they're up to.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: PaulF on November 21, 2018, 10:26:16 am
Has anyone mentioned Postman Pat (https://twitter.com/Cain_Unable/status/1061173112719454208)?

Priceless! But don't follow the link unless you have time on your hands!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: simonp on November 21, 2018, 10:50:32 am
I nominate Hermes.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: PaulF on November 21, 2018, 10:54:08 am
Hermes, round here at least, seem to sub-contract the last leg to individuals so I guess the quality of service depends on your local driver. Round here ours is very good.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on November 21, 2018, 10:55:49 am
Hermes, round here at least, seem to sub-contract the last leg to individuals so I guess the quality of service depends on your local driver. Round here ours is very good.

Same here, it's a husband and wife team (I presume it's a franchise thing) and they're chatty when I'm around and know The Box. Which is important, as they seem to bring most of my beer.

Our regular postie seems to bring the RM parcels.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: phantasmagoriana on November 30, 2018, 02:27:25 pm
Attempting to send faulty item back to manufacturer. They arranged for DHL to collect it today, which was fortunate as I have the day off. Collection window was 9am-2pm. Have they turned up? No. Of course not. I was planning on going to Ikea today, and instead I've wasted the day sitting around waiting for DHL to fail to materialise. >:( (On the plus side, the bathroom's really clean and I did some baking...)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: phantasmagoriana on November 30, 2018, 03:06:46 pm
Attempting to send faulty item back to manufacturer. They arranged for DHL to collect it today, which was fortunate as I have the day off. Collection window was 9am-2pm. Have they turned up? No. Of course not. I was planning on going to Ikea today, and instead I've wasted the day sitting around waiting for DHL to fail to materialise. >:( (On the plus side, the bathroom's really clean and I did some baking...)

They finally arrived. Now the waiting continues, as UPS are supposed to be delivering a parcel...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Beardy on November 30, 2018, 03:17:39 pm
I had five deliveries yesterday, one by Royal Mail and 4 by DPD, in different vans, at different times. Efficiency in action!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Moleman76 on November 30, 2018, 11:40:33 pm
Amazon purchases in the US of A

Sometimes delivered by one of three services, and sometimes by the Postal Service (cycling nexus: Lance's old sponsor) under arrangements where the delivery service moves it most of the way in their big truck, then hands off to USPS to get it to the delivery point.

Last week: I happened to find a moisture-sensitive package placed atop our mailbox, in the rain.  When tracked, showed that it had been delivered, complete with the delivery person's online photo of where it had been placed: in front of our neighbor's gate.  Now, our mailboxes are either side of said gate, but it's really clear which is ours; why couldn't they figure out which we were, and drive down the long driveway (ooh, scary in the dark), see the sign pointing to the front door (covered place to leave packages) (needed because of packages left all over the place), and leave it there?

Today, while trying to sort out another mis-delivery of the wrong product (separate story, but when things come in flavors, we kind of expect to get the flavor we ordered), my wife learned that Amazon's GPS system had tagged the neighbor's gate as our address.  This would explain why we've received cellphone calls from the more diligent deliverers asking us for the security code for the gate ... Well, it took half an hour for this bastion of all things cyber to fix our address point.

So, don't think the UK has a monopoly on incompetence
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: phantasmagoriana on December 21, 2018, 05:44:16 pm
Argh, Parcelfarce. >:(

My Christmas present to myself (I know, I know :facepalm:) has been sitting in the local depot, apparently, since early Wednesday morning. As it appeared to have been sitting around doing nothing for the best part of three days, I took advantage of a last-day-at-work early finish and went to the depot to try and track it down (it's the other side of town, so a train journey away as I CBA to tackle the festive traffic nonsense with a bike + trailer). On arrival I was told it was out for delivery, but had left late. Sod's law - when the online tracking updated (after I'd left the depot!), I saw that it left the depot at pretty much the same time as I left to catch the train.

Back home, it still hasn't arrived (the window is until 6pm, apparently, though I suspect it may be later than that).
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: phantasmagoriana on December 21, 2018, 06:41:26 pm
FFS!

Having sat in waiting for the delivery, I've just checked the tracking page again: "Your parcel has been returned to our depot following an attempted delivery or a problem locating the address. Please check the tracking below. Our driver will have left a card explaining what to do next where the  delivery has been attempted."

No, the driver has *not* left a card, nor have they tried to deliver. The address is not hard to find.

So, I've wasted several hours of my life and a train fare, and still have no parcel. >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on December 21, 2018, 07:30:09 pm
DPD: 'delivery refused at 1.36pm'

Not by me, it wasn't.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on December 21, 2018, 07:54:48 pm
https://www.devonlive.com/news/devon-news/hermes-christmas-van-devon-parcel-2351209
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: MikeFromLFE on December 21, 2018, 09:30:33 pm
DHL.
We got notification of a delivery for when we knew we would be out, so rearranged delivery to one of those locker things.
Said locker was on the North side petrol station on the dual carriageway. Yes - north.
Delivery notification with pin number came for the north side locker.
Go on guess which lockers I eventually found the package in (spoiler - not west, or east)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on December 24, 2018, 09:50:56 am
Despite the sign on the door saying put the parcels in the box behind the porch, DPD man finally arrived 'between 7.30 and 8.30pm' at about 4pm on Saturday afternoon, stood there for a good while puzzling at said sign and then piled it all on the front step and then for some reason ran down the driveway pretending to be an airplane (admittedly I do this). Honestly, he looked like he'd had the entire bottle of Christmas spirit already. One of the main benefits of having security cameras on the drive and porch is that we can watch Courier TV.

Fortunately, it was all there when we finally got home about 10 pm. That said, it was just flowers and stuff, and nothing fun.
Title: Re: (NOT) Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Torslanda on December 24, 2018, 05:52:27 pm
I ordered an item from a jolly well known photographic retailer on Thursday then realised that it was *officially* too late for 'next day delivery'.

Despite this, UK Mail were on the doorstep by 9.45 Saturday morning. Not specified, not paid for but delivered anyway.

Certain young gentleman will be quite pleased with his present because if it hadn't arrived on Saturday we wouldn't be able to get it until after New Year...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: phantasmagoriana on January 02, 2019, 07:56:09 pm
FFS!

Having sat in waiting for the delivery, I've just checked the tracking page again: "Your parcel has been returned to our depot following an attempted delivery or a problem locating the address. Please check the tracking below. Our driver will have left a card explaining what to do next where the  delivery has been attempted."

No, the driver has *not* left a card, nor have they tried to deliver. The address is not hard to find.

So, I've wasted several hours of my life and a train fare, and still have no parcel. >:(

In the end, I rescheduled this for 28th December - but it got delivered on Christmas Eve, when I was away. Fortunately no one nicked it from the communal hallway!

On the other hand, I sent a small parcel second class on the 22nd, assuming it would arrive after Christmas (which would have been fine - it was an Ebay sale and the buyer had waited a week to pay, so can't have wanted it that urgently!). Delivered on Christmas Eve too - not bad for second class really!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Basil on January 03, 2019, 07:19:10 pm
Sometimes shite couriering can be a good thing.
Mrs B's fierce mercan sister-in-law ordered to us a box of decent wines for crimble.  Except it never arrived.
She must have been super fierce with the supplier because they phoned me on Monday to abjectly apologise and check our location in the village.  He then personally  drove a delivery himself from Swansea.  Just in time for our New Year do.  :thumbsup:

This evening, Yodel turned up with the original lost consignment.   :D  :thumbsup:  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on January 30, 2019, 11:00:04 pm
Partner's sick iMac went to hospital and was fixed for a significant sum.

Despite informing hospital Tuesday was unsuitable, we had to reschedule delivery, which coincided with my appointment at Northwick Park.

Box was delivered today.

The stand has acquired a 25 degree bend in the metalwork and the computer flops, not holding its position.

There are multiple cracks in the polystyrene packaging.

Must have been dropped.

David is Not Happy.

DPD this is not good enough!

Computer hospital says they'll fix...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: andytheflyer on January 31, 2019, 08:47:40 am
Ordered a drill press yesterday from Axminster Tools.  Paid nominal sum for am am delivery today.  Then I discovered that it's sodding DPD.  Who have a track record of seeing that the left-most house on our little close of 10 houses is No.1 and then counting one, two, three to get to me.  Except that their No. 3 is not No.3.  It doesn't say No. 3 on it.  And it's clearly a very old house and looks nothing like the other 8 houses all of which look similar and of the same 1990 age.  My No. 3 has 2 number plaques on it, one high up on the garage so it can clearly be seen from the road: the old house (DPD's guess at No 3) is immediately on my left as the DPD driver looks at them. 

So now I need to sit in the dining room all morning waiting to catch them.  Or at least, since it's bins day, I could leave my big green waste bin, with its huge No. 3 label, parked at the bottom of my drive.  Then, when I bellow at the DPD driver out of the window as he attempts to mis-deliver the usual "You weren't in" card, he might just wake up.  We live in hope.

EDIT:  I then had an email with a time slot for delivery, so sat in the dining room doing my music theory homework, where I could see any van arriving.  Spotted the DPD van as it arrived, so intercepted the driver before he could ignore the signs that it was my house he wanted.  Pillar drill unpacked, assembled and bolted to the bench.  Sorted.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on January 31, 2019, 08:54:23 am
The other day DPD again left the parcels on the front step. Clearly labelled BEER STEAL ME. Fortunately, I was home. I don't know why they can't just follow the simple instruction. Or knock on the door.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on February 07, 2019, 04:15:50 pm
Yesterday I had a book delivered. Which I forgot about till half-midnight and had to go out in my jimjams to check.

Did the courier put the package in the box provided for the purpose as per the clear instructions? No, he shoved it under the back gate.

Given the torrential rain we had all yesterday evening, I retrieved a rather soggy book.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on February 07, 2019, 04:36:49 pm
Partner's sick iMac went to hospital and was fixed for a significant sum. (+extra for expedited service).
Despite informing hospital Tuesday was unsuitable, we had to reschedule delivery, which coincided with my appointment at Northwick Park.
Box was delivered today.
The stand has acquired a 25 degree bend in the metalwork and the computer flops, not holding its position.
There are multiple cracks in the polystyrene packaging.Must have been dropped.
David is Not Happy.
DPD this is not good enough!
Computer hospital says they'll fix...
dpd is still in dispute with computer hospital and trying to deny liability.
Computer hospital says they'll fix things anyway and are unhappy computer is still OOS chez nous.

In the mean time David has mentally abandoned old computer, having a SHINY new MacBook Air doing most of his work.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on February 07, 2019, 09:01:06 pm
Herpes are the dried up bits of dog shit you get stuck in the soles of cleated shoes.

I handle lots of parcels from all the main couriers, and they stand out as the shittiest of them all.

We returned a parcel for someone called Mills via Herpes with a bad address. They must be keeping track of what they send to us (lots), as they stuck a new label on with a seemingly proper address. Only it was the address of another person within the organisation called Mills. This suggests they are breaching GDPR by retaining such data. The parcel was very nearly handed over to the wrong Mills. Not the first time - Herpes have form. Utter bunch of twunts.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Ginger Cat on February 14, 2019, 02:37:33 pm
DPD and Hermes are OK around us- at the moment, it'll no doubt change once the regular driver is shifted onto another round. Amazon Logistics on the other hand.......

Last week I popped out, when I got back, I swapped the van and car over ready for an early start the next day- but decided to check on the cats before taking the van out for fuel. Just as well as it was then I discovered the parcels tucked neatly on the van step- they had left the parcels on the rear step of my van (reverse-parked on my drive). :facepalm: They survived the swap manoevre but wouldn't have survived a trip to the fuel station- and so were merely soggy from being out in the rain as opposed to being squashed/lost. 

Yesterday I was in all day, working from home in the front bedroom. Window open so I could hear vans arriving. Heard van, picked up keys, headed downstairs as the doorbell rang. Honestly, I got to the door in under 10 seconds from doorbell ring, by which time the Owens-lorry-driver-doing-courier-work chappie was halfway down the path at the side of the house, seemingly intent on chucking the parcels over the back gate (wouldn't be the first time). I pointed out to him- somewhat grumpily I'll admit- that it's customary to wait for a few seconds after ringing the bell before going into lob it over the back gate mode.

Today, same courier (something for husband again)- he rang the bell- and waited- he looked well-sheepish when I answered the door.....

GC
 
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Andrij on April 08, 2019, 12:24:04 pm
DHL

After providing information on the movement of my item on 3 & 4 April they have given no updates whatsoever.  It is now after close of business Monday in $countryoforigin and still no update.

The next update will probably come after the item has been delivered.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: PaulF on April 21, 2019, 07:05:46 pm
Amazon: a tale of 2 deliveries.

On Friday I came home to find a card saying “your package is with Patrick in the white house (no not that one!) opposite. Now Martin lives in the obvious one so it wasn’t him so I went to the one next door where the pub staff live. No Patricks here came the reply. So I tried the white house round the corner, a lot of the houses in the village are white; some new people moved in recently and I don’t know them. Perhaps it could be there? Nobody home :( In desperation I went round to Martin’s. He hadn’t received a parcel. Then his mother calls out from the back. Yes they’d left it with Renee :facepalm:

Fast forward to Saturday. My mouse dies and I need a replacement before a business trip on Monday. Great, Amazon can deliver; it might arrive on time.  Place the order. It will arrive on Tuesday! WTF! Then this morning I get a mail, “your package will be delivered today”. Great I’m out all day. Lunchtime Amazon send me a photo of an Amazon box on my back doorstep. Result!   
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: T42 on June 18, 2019, 01:17:02 pm
Waited in all morning for a package, opened mailbox at lunchtime and found note saying "nobody home, left at relay point". General Logistic Systems Europe, you are something one would rather not have to scrape off a blanket.

Meanwhile, MrsT's SIM for her new phone promised by Chronopost for 8am-12am just arrived at 2:15 pm and I received a text from DPD saying yes we promised today but we can't make it until ...

Not happy.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: T42 on June 18, 2019, 02:40:58 pm
Waited in all morning for a package, opened mailbox at lunchtime and found note saying "nobody home, left at relay point". General Logistic Systems Europe, you are something one would rather not have to scrape off a blanket.

The GLS website reads:

12:30  Attempted delivery, recipient not home.   - barefaced lie. Not only were we home, we were about 5 metres from the doorbell

12:45  Parcel left at relay point. - another lie.  I drove to the relay point half an hour ago: no parcel.

GLS website has no contact link. Guess why.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on August 13, 2019, 04:40:38 pm
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-49329720 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-49329720)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on August 16, 2019, 09:24:05 pm
Interesting delivery at home today . . . . I bought 10 Presta valve dustcaps in RED for my bike, costing about £2.50 inc postage (don't mock - it's a red bike) which predictably were in a polybag about 15cm square (usual pre-packed Chinese stuff that's sent out from a fulfilment house in Manchester)

What was amazing was that instead of the obvious Royal Mail pop it throught the letterbox delivery an ENORMOUS truck (we live in a cul de sac and it had to make a 6 point turn it was that big) from Yodel appeared with the package ... and then my wife had to sign for it!   Madness.

Rob
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on August 26, 2019, 01:03:37 pm
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-49329720 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-49329720)

They seem to have recycled that one into an extended saga of shite couriering:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-49398068
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Guy on September 11, 2019, 12:39:39 pm
I thought this might be the appropriate place...


Quote
14:19 10 Sep
SHARED
'Delivery driver had a poo outside my house'

Sandish Shoker

BBC News

A Nottinghamshire woman had an unexpected delivery when she caught a driver defecating outside her house.

Nadine, from Gedling, said she heard a noise down the side of her house one afternoon last week and saw the man relieving himself.

"He had his pants down and was rubbing his bum on my fence post," she told BBC Radio Nottingham.

"So perhaps the culprit can be found with splinters in his bum."

DHL GV
PA MediaCopyright: PA Media
The bizarre incident left her "shocked" and speechless as the man ran off pulling up his trousers and drove off in his van.

"It was quite a big turd," she added.

"I saw the funny side of it, but you can't do that. You don't poo in somebody's alleyway."

Nadine believed the man worked for delivery firm, DHL, because of the red and yellow T-shirt he was wearing and asked them to apologise.

A spokeswoman for the firm said: "Based on the information provided, we are yet to ascertain if the individual in question is a DHL employee.

"However, we are investigating this as a matter of priority as this is clearly unacceptable."

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on September 28, 2019, 04:44:27 pm
Hermes!!
Delivery between 12 and 2. leave it in the shed advice entered.

We were not only in the house at 13:05 but it was not left in the shed either.. Idiots
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: toontra on September 28, 2019, 05:46:13 pm
DX Deliveries (who have the contract for delivering passports, so you'd think they would have a certain level of competence).

They sent a text last Thursday saying delivery would be on Friday.  Waited in all day only to get another text from them at 7.05pm (coincidentally just after the office closed) saying "delivery attempted" (whatever that means) and to follow a link to re-schedule.

Several futile phone calls later the guy trundles up on Tuesday at 2.30 (not 4-8pm as agreed) and without phoning first (again as promised).  The guy looked high on crack and didn't ring the prominently positioned doorbell (as everyone else does) - just stood there looking all around him in a puzzled manner. 

Useless twats.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: FifeingEejit on October 03, 2019, 07:07:56 pm
Hermes,

Just managed to deliver a parcel a whole street away.
Thankfully I know the current occupants of the house in that street with the same number.
Spent some time trying to find the bag of miracle grow and electric lawn mower their courier had taken a picture of it sitting on.

We have neither...
 :facepalm:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: essexian on October 04, 2019, 08:41:13 am
I have received three emails over the last few days stating my item will be with me today....which is nice seeing how it was delivered on Monday.

So, the question is, will "they" bring another one today and if so, should I send it back..... (the answer to the last question is yes, yes I would as, well that's what I am like).

I'll update you later....  ;D
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: toontra on October 04, 2019, 02:46:09 pm
HERMES  ::-)

Ordered a pair of tyres from CRC last week.  The Hermes tracking system showed the parcel as going AWAL for a few days.

Finally turned up last night.  Thought it felt rather bulky but assumed it was unnecessary packing so signed for it.

When I opened it I was surprised to find 2 table lamps and a duvet set!  Closer inspection of the packaging showed my details on a label on one side but someone else's 20 miles away on the other (presumably the intended recipient).

Spoke to CRC and cancelled the order.  Now trying to contact Hermes to get them to collect this stuff.  Virtually impossible.  Been on hold for "live chat" for 45 minutes.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on October 04, 2019, 09:03:34 pm
GGGRRR!!!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Moleman76 on October 06, 2019, 08:24:04 am
We have had a number of packages dropped off (in plastic bags to lessen rain damage) near our (almost always open) gate, rather than 500 feet further down our driveway at the house.

So when I ordered something this week, I used the "second address line" to say "front door please".

Apparently the UPS driver thinks the front door is about 30 feet from the road.  Whisky Tango Foxtrot
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: FifeingEejit on October 09, 2019, 01:24:27 pm
Hermes,

Just managed to deliver a parcel a whole street away.
Thankfully I know the current occupants of the house in that street with the same number.
Spent some time trying to find the bag of miracle grow and electric lawn mower their courier had taken a picture of it sitting on.

We have neither...
 :facepalm:

They have just managed it again today...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on November 27, 2019, 07:41:15 pm
Royal Fail, again from a Twitter friend in Edinburgh, who is relieved it wasn't bin day today...
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EKZo3vGXYAAriJJ?format=jpg&name=4096x4096)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on November 27, 2019, 07:49:21 pm
That textphone number[1] reminds me:

Honorary mention to Typetalk Textrelay NGT, who have re-re-re-branded as "Relay UK (https://www.relayuk.bt.com/)".  Because now they sound like a shite courier (or possibly a splinter group of the AA) rather than a telephony service for hearing and speech impaired people to use for starting arguments with banks and persuading large bureaucratic organisations to use email.

Clear as the mud you've just scraped off a parcel...


[1] I bet good money it isn't  a) answered  by b) a human  who c) can type.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mattc on November 27, 2019, 07:58:45 pm
Nomination for DXDelivery - Saturday mornings a speciality.

Not only did they sneak upto our door while both of us were in, but then:
- failed to fill out the time on their card (making it harder for us to pin them down), and
- wedged the card betwixt door and door-frame! Thus avoiding the sound of the letter-box - genius!

Do they think we're stupid?!?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Ashaman42 on November 28, 2019, 08:52:44 am
Amazon delivery this time. Usually they leave the parcel on the doorstep in plain view of the street rather than in the doorless bin cupboard next to it which is out of sight.

Well this one did put them out of view for once but then put the little card between front door and frame rather than through the letter box. So still obvious from the street that something was there :facepalm:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Diver300 on November 28, 2019, 06:30:45 pm
Quote
your scheduled delivery date has changed.
Rescheduled Delivery Date:   Friday, 29/11/2019
Estimated Delivery Time:   End of Day

Quote
your parcel has been delivered.
Delivery Date:   Thursday, 28/11/2019
Delivery Time:   16:54

That was UPS. If they weren't going to delay until Friday, why did they give me the option?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on December 05, 2019, 09:28:52 am
Parcel2Go, your tracking page has been saying "ORDER PLACED" since Monday.  I therefore conclude that it is utter pish, or you are.  I WANT MY PARTHEL!!!!

(Pouts, stamps foot)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on December 05, 2019, 02:30:40 pm
Doesn't 'Order Placed' just mean the sender has bought the 'fare' but not yet despatched the goods?

I think I've had this with other couriers; I don't think your parcel has been received yet...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: De Sisti on December 05, 2019, 02:46:47 pm
My expected parcel is due to be delivered by Hermes. :(  Pray for me!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on December 05, 2019, 08:59:41 pm
It appears that my new derailleurs/ shifters for my Moulton have disappeared, along with the truck, somewhere near the Spanish/ French border. The supplier's email refers to bandits, which is the first time I've heard that excuse for a delayed delivery.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on December 06, 2019, 10:17:48 am
My aforementioned is also now "in the Hermes system".  Gulp.  And if they try to put it through the letterbox they WILL break it, coz 12" vinyl doesn't bend.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on December 08, 2019, 03:43:48 am
"On its way to the courier" 21 hours ago.  A slof could have delivered it faster than this.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on December 08, 2019, 01:14:45 pm
We've been waiting several days for a couple of large bags of cat food via Yodel (I thought they'd died?). The most recent excuse was an 'oh dear, the van has broken down.'

I presume he's now sleeping in a Surrey hedgerow and subsisting on Science Plan.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on December 09, 2019, 10:37:26 am
Eventually got a text at 1215am this morning to say our parcel had been delivered. As it was chucking it down, I made my wife go outside in her PJs to check and it was sitting on the front step looking soggy and forlorn. No idea when it arrived, it wasn't there at 10pm when we came back from an event and no one had rung the super-new doorbell. Looked like it had been sitting there in the rain for a while (fortunately, the cat food is in sealed plastic sacks).

Odd time for a delivery, specifically as they say they don't do Sundays, and I still think Yodel went bust the other Christmas.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on December 09, 2019, 10:50:15 am
Some time yesterday parcel2go updated the tracking page for my item.  Not that it got any closer to Larrington Towers, no, but it did now add some Stuffs about "hub trailers".

Then they changed it back to what it was at 06:30 Saturday  >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: spesh on December 09, 2019, 11:39:33 am
I suspect it is the cosmos restoring balance after my order from the Big River Co. turned up several days quicker than I was expecting on Saturday afternoon. :demon:

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Johnny Faro on December 09, 2019, 09:37:12 pm
We had a great one recently where an item I shipped on a pre 10 delivery was failed delivery at exactly 10am. That made me suspicious especially as I've visited the site and you'll always find several people.

It then said that it was back at the depot. Customer collected and I kicked off with my account manager as we ship a lot and it eventually turned out the parcel had never left the depot and some idiot/bright spark clocked it as site closed while it was still there!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on December 10, 2019, 11:38:29 am
Oh look!

"Due to the volume of parcels in the Hermes network we have been experiencing some delays yadda yadda allow an extra few days herp derp monitor the tracking page ect and, moreover, ect"

People send lots of Stuffs in December?  Who knew?  Apart from Royal Mail, of course, who would actually employ temporary PSO-shaped staff.

Also, they don't actually tell you this on the tracking page.  No, they've hidden it on the laughably-named "Help" page.  And my parthel hasn't budged.  Again.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on December 11, 2019, 01:50:52 pm
Parthel movement over past 24 hours: 0. Zilch. Nada.

sort it out u muppets!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on December 11, 2019, 02:23:56 pm
I have been asked if I want 12sp equipment to replace the purloined 11sp kit I ordered. Of course not, said I.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on December 12, 2019, 01:08:47 pm
I am starting to think that Muhammad Saeed al-Sahhaf is in charge of updating the parcels2go tracking page.  Yes, you guessed it.  Still no movement.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on December 12, 2019, 04:35:01 pm
https://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com/news/people/east-lothian-shopper-tells-how-hermes-left-her-husbands-christmas-present-pile-leaves-and-forged-her-signature-1338924?fbclid=IwAR2uAq1KUONkvGnyjagTxbQjfTQqRUvxoOQ7uNVtsEi-JkAA53NRt-XGAg8 (https://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com/news/people/east-lothian-shopper-tells-how-hermes-left-her-husbands-christmas-present-pile-leaves-and-forged-her-signature-1338924?fbclid=IwAR2uAq1KUONkvGnyjagTxbQjfTQqRUvxoOQ7uNVtsEi-JkAA53NRt-XGAg8)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Wowbagger on December 12, 2019, 04:58:38 pm
I have sent a carefully packed (in its original box) Islabike Rothan and it hasn't arrived at the appointed time. This is pissing off.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on December 12, 2019, 05:24:31 pm
Anyone else in the habit of adding hazardous items to orders so they automagically get upgraded to a decent courier?  A spare flux pen is bound to come in useful...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Giropaul on December 12, 2019, 09:19:06 pm
Well, out in the sticks we must be luckier. Because my daughter( who doesn’t even live here) gets tens of parcels a day some days ( competitors products that she wants to examine, but obviously doesn’t want to use her company address). All the delivery people seem to be great. Many we know by name. The post person , and regular deliverers, know where to leave stuff, and hide stuff  imaginatively in one of the places.
They know that they are always welcome to park in our drive, and to use our loo. Obviously we show our appreciation to them generously at Christmas. In short, building the relationship works - but I guess it’s harder in areas where more people work the patch.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on December 13, 2019, 03:51:15 pm
F5.  No progress.  Time to raise this with the sender, since they appear not to let the recipient have the temerity to complain.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: spesh on December 13, 2019, 06:46:06 pm
Time to practice escalatio and deploy TEH BEAR and/or the Frying Pan of SPANG as well, I'd have thought. This is manifestly taking the mock...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on December 13, 2019, 08:03:02 pm
Anyone else in the habit of adding hazardous items to orders so they automagically get upgraded to a decent courier?  A spare flux pen is bound to come in useful...

In what may or may not be karma, everything that *wasn't* hazmat (and some unobtanium resistors that are on back-order) turned up by the generally competent UPS in less than 24 hours.

I've also been sent a tube of low bandwidth op-amps that don't appear to be a random substitution[1] for anything I actually ordered.  I'm going to chalk that up as a marginal gain.


[1] Farnell don't sell bread or cephalopods, but I've had power regulators turn into draught excluder foam, which is almost as good.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on December 14, 2019, 01:26:43 pm
Time to practice escalatio and deploy TEH BEAR and/or the Frying Pan of SPANG as well, I'd have thought. This is manifestly taking the mock...

An e-mail will be winging its way to the lovely girls and boys at Rockosmos shortly.  Not that I expect any action until Monday as they are The Music Biz and will therefore be Insensible due to Unmentionable Debauchery and Moral Turpitude all weekend.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: spesh on December 14, 2019, 01:37:31 pm
I initially misread Rockosmos as Roscosmos - which would have put a totally different spin on your parcel being "in the Hermes system".

As in, "it's en-route to Mercury". :demon:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on December 15, 2019, 02:24:58 pm
I got an almost immediate reply from Senior Management at Rockosmos saying "give it until Wednesday and give me another shout then if there's no further progress" and who am I to argue with the band's main singer/songwriter/guitarist/producer/photographer/record company exec/propagandist Sel Balamir?  Even if he's spending Saturday afternoons answering e-mails instead of snorting triple-sod and cavorting with women of Doubtful Virtue.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on December 21, 2019, 08:40:10 pm
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-50861036 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-50861036)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on December 22, 2019, 02:25:39 pm
E-mailed Mr Balamir again on Wednesday, got a reply yesterday to the effect that he will get them to open an investigation.  Now they'll find it, try to deliver it when I'm away over Xmo/New Tear and then lose it again.  Or claim I signed for it by remote control from a hundred miles away.  Or...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on December 23, 2019, 10:12:45 am
They all seem to be doing the thing where they follow the instructions to go around the back of the porch. Except instead of leaving the parcels there, they collect the parcel box, bring it around the front and then use it as a hat for the parcels left on the front step.

Fortunately, nefarious parcel surfers can't really see them from the bottom of the drive.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on January 05, 2020, 06:09:38 pm
I haz a Shiny!!1!

(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49334247968_91ee254b67_o.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/2iauV9d)
Octopus (https://flic.kr/p/2iauV9d) by Mr Larrington (https://www.flickr.com/photos/mr_larrington/), on Flickr

Mr Hermes left his "sorry I missed you" card wedged into the void 'twixt inner and outer flaps of Ye Letterbocks and only the delivery of another piece of mail dislodged it enough to render it visible.  His undated "sorry I missed you" card.  My Shiny has been retrieved from the safekeeping of Nice Man at the Offie, who claims he's had it for "a couple of weeks" >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jaded on January 05, 2020, 08:08:57 pm
Home delivery, it’s the future. The High Street is ded.

We know this because we are told this.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: andytheflyer on January 08, 2020, 08:36:14 am
Why does ParcelFarce have to ring me (automated) at 10pm to tell me there will be a delivery tomorrow?  Most days I'd have been in bed by then.

The retailer has already sent me the tracking details so PF weren't telling me anything I didn't already know....
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on January 08, 2020, 12:43:56 pm
Had a delivery to the recycling bin yesterday.  Yes, it was bin day.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: fimm on January 20, 2020, 11:38:04 am
Mr fimm's sister, who lives in continental Europe, sent him a parcel containing a Christmas and a Birthday present. The parcel did not arrive. We waited a bit, and it still did not arrive. So we waited some more. Mr fimm tried to chase it up from this end, but as we had no "tried to deliver" card there wasn't much they could do. We finally got his sister to pull her finger out and inquire at the post office at her end. They gave her a list of what happened to the parcel that ended "delivered to cupboard".
Cupboard?
We live in a tenement flat. On the ground floor there's a cupboard with cleaning stuff in it. Mr fimm went to look and, lo and behold, his parcel, tucked away in a mop bucket. At least he got it before his birthday!

OK, we are on the top floor, but every other delivery person seems able to come up and put a card through the door and either leave the parcel at the door or (more usually) with a neighbour. If there was a card for this parcel, we (clearly) never saw it...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on January 28, 2020, 08:22:29 pm
I ordered a new fenix torch and remote switch on 19/1/2020.  I got a despatch notification on 20/1/2020.

I still do not have my torch.

The parcel was delivered to a house on my street many houses away.  No note was left.  So I contacted the company who said the driver had delivered it to a house as they had the photograph. 
That is not my house, I said.
But I can go and collect it.  I could not go to collect it for 24 hours but  quite excitedly i went round to pick up my parcel.

"Oh", they said, "the driver came and collected it yesterday"

He still did not deliver it even though he now knew exactly where my house was using house name, post code, google maps (perhaps I should have used W3W).

I contacted the retailer again.  I explained the situation and they contacted the courier who said we will deliver it tomorrow.

I come home tonight and there are some boxes delivered by the same courier firm so they know where we live.  But where is my torch.  I ask my wife if there were any parcels for me.  Just the ones left by the back door.  My torch is not there.

This is now 9 days for this torch to travel about 40 miles. 

You could not make it up.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Diver300 on May 01, 2020, 11:14:02 pm
UPS failed to collect a parcel as we "weren't in". It's a lockdown, we were. The parcel was on the doorstep most of the day when it wasn't raining.

And it took half an hour on the phone, another fee, another day's delay in getting the stuff to the recipient, and they'll collect on Monday, if we're in.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: asterix on May 02, 2020, 07:28:09 am
Bought an old news photo from a seller in Tennessee. It just arrived after taking over a month.  Given what I hear from the USA I had decided if it arrived, I'd be lucky.

The tracking worked until it reached Dallas Fort Worth then there was nothing until there it was on the doormat. Item was 5usd, postage 15.

I left good feedback since there's no knowing what it's like over there.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on May 25, 2020, 12:23:12 pm
Hermes (yet again!): I was in my flat at 10.07; in bed actually. You didn't ring the intercom and made no effort to deliver my item, as far as I can tell. Now, I wouldn't want to be working on a bank holiday, but you made the choice, so do your feckin' job, kthxbai.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on June 05, 2020, 09:03:44 pm
The three (3) parcels that UPS had out on a van for delivery before 12:30 today have failed to appear.  Tracking system is now in advanced stages of denial about them having been loaded onto a van at Tamworth at audax o'clock this morning.

Place your bets...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on June 05, 2020, 09:32:04 pm

I ordered some stuff from ikea, paid for delivery on the 14th of May. On the 14th I got an email saying there as a technical issue. I've since contacted IKEA 3 times, and each time they say it's gonna be rescheduled for a date, and then not turn up... I wonder if it will arrive before the 14th of June...

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on June 06, 2020, 12:29:53 pm
The three (3) parcels that UPS had out on a van for delivery before 12:30 today have failed to appear.  Tracking system is now in advanced stages of denial about them having been loaded onto a van at Tamworth at audax o'clock this morning.

Place your bets...

I trust there are screenshots?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on June 06, 2020, 02:12:03 pm
The three (3) parcels that UPS had out on a van for delivery before 12:30 today have failed to appear.  Tracking system is now in advanced stages of denial about them having been loaded onto a van at Tamworth at audax o'clock this morning.

Place your bets...

I trust there are screenshots?

At late o'clock last night, I got a barrage of SMSes and emails informing me that the delivery had been rescheduled to Monday.

So it came as only a mild surprise when they appeared at 9am this morning.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Beardy on July 01, 2020, 11:15:34 am
I’m expecting a yodel delivery today. The email I’ve got has a track your parcel link. Most useful. Apparently my parcel is out for delivery. Oh, there’s a map to help. It’s got an icon on it that very helpfully tells me where my local area is. But nothing else! Useless.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jasmine on July 01, 2020, 01:41:00 pm
Today was a bit special. There's a note on my door that says 'please knock, if no reply please put parcels under the box behind the porch.'

I don't think these are especially difficult to follow instructions. Except he (a) didn't knock, otherwise I'd have heard him and (b) I wouldn't have found a pile of parcels on the front step with the box from behind the porch balanced on top of them. The wrong way up.

I evidently haven't read this thread in 2 years, so I've just seen this. You have to admit, it's bloody inspired. Your courier has quite literally followed the instructions. There's no way they weren't just taking the piss. I'm cheered for the day (well, maybe at least an hour)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Ginger Cat on July 02, 2020, 03:23:29 pm
FedEx, you are currently on my list of "ultimate worst courier" which is an amazing achievement as it puts you below the likes of Hermes, Yodel, etc.

You have successfully and efficiently delivered me goods from this particular US retailer in the past, so your current utter incompetence is disappointing. Especially as the usually pedestrian USPS-Royal Mail service managed to get me a parcel from the US during lockdown with no bother whatsoever. In fact the performance of USPS-Rpyal Mail was positively scintillating (even though in first few weeks of lockdown) compared to the sh!te I have had from you so far.

You take the biscuit the way you have "rearranged" your system for paying import duty.

I get you need your COVID controls in place and are only sending electronic invoices, but since you stopped delivering and sending the invoice afterwards, plus you took away the ability to phone up and pay by card on the phone, surely a company of your size can afford an IT bod to sort out payment by card on your website?????

The text message you sent out (telling me there was duty to pay) arrived 2 days after the tracking showed the parcel arriving in UK, unfortunately the link in it didn't work- took me to a blank web page- which was a fat lot of good.

Even if you can only afford an IT bod part-time, surely it is not beyond your wit to put info on your website that matches what you send out by text?

Then 3 days after the package arrived in UK I got an email attaching the invoice for duty and explaining how to pay the duty owed. According to the invoice, the duty must be paid within 5 days of the package ariving in UK otherwise it would be automaticaly returned to sender with no further warning. Nice. The invoice said payment could be made by phone or via bank transfer.

However, contrary to what the emailed invoice said, your payment line is NOT accepting payment (calling the number on the invoice, on the appropriate number option I got as far as the pre-recorded message saying "you cannot pay your invoice over the phone, please look on our website for more details of how to pay" and on the "enquiries" option I never got to speak to a person; the website said I could pay by phone. Aaaaaaagh!!!!!!).

If you must use email and bank transfer for payment,  why is it you only give 5 days after arrival of a package in UK to pay invoice YET you don't send that email out until the package has been in UK for 3 days?. Why can't you get your pre-recorded phone messages, email, texts and internet to match up or is that just too difficult? (I'd have though you lot being in logistics this was basic stuff?????)

Paying by bank transfer means setting you up as a new payee using a PIN-pad card reader. For security purposes, that card-reader remains at home when I am away working as generally I am not setting new payees up on my account that often. Some of us are key workers and are still working on site (not at home) and in fact it's not unusual for key workers to stay over for a bit, so I'd have expected a little more flexibility.

You have asssured me (when I finally got in touch by livechat on Day 4 after the parcle arrived in UK) that my parcel will still be in UK when I get back home today- Day 6 since my package arrived in UK- and am able to log on and pay the invoice for customs duty. You'd better be right and better deliver my parcel you cretinous lot, and for the future I will have to explain to that retailer that unless they can use a courier with sensible arrangements, I cannot buy from them again, sorry.

Grrrrrrr.

GC
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on July 02, 2020, 03:54:48 pm
I’m expecting a yodel delivery today. The email I’ve got has a track your parcel link. Most useful. Apparently my parcel is out for delivery. Oh, there’s a map to help. It’s got an icon on it that very helpfully tells me where my local area is. But nothing else! Useless.

Interesting. I had one yesterday. Showed where he (for it was a he) was, the number of the delivery he was on, and the number of our delivery. All worked well.

Contrast with UPS's "by the end of the day" and it's superb. Apparently drivers make up their own routes, so no perdition of delivery can be made, nor is when the "end" of the day is indicated.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on July 02, 2020, 04:18:15 pm
Prediction, not perdition, methinks...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on July 02, 2020, 04:39:07 pm
Prediction, not perdition, methinks...

😄
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: cycleman on July 02, 2020, 06:32:46 pm
DPD are a useless bunch of twats so far 4 attempts to deliver of 2.ir
 Refused the package and 2 where I was no in despite me not only being In but on 2 occasions watching the van driving by making no attempt to stop
Complaint made to the company
Might get the package next week if I am lucky  >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: SoreTween on July 14, 2020, 11:39:56 pm
Ordered a large toy for the man cave yesterday, next day delivery. Supplier did the biz and I got a tracking code from dx couriers (who are shit) yesterday evening. 
This morning the dx couriers (who are shit) web site showed the item unmoved.
This lunch time the dx couriers (who are shit) web site showed the item unmoved.
17:00 today the dx couriers (who are shit) web site showed the item unmoved.
Oh well, shrugs I, it was late into the depot and dx couriers (who are shit), are shit. Probably arrive tomorrow.

19:00 tonight a neighbour from the far, far end of our road called round to say he had a large parcel for me. On a pallet large.  dx couriers (who are shit) had abandoned it on his drive while he was out at work. I on the other hand was in my office all day at the front of the house.  Kind neighbours gaff is fully 200 meters from the intended, and very clearly printed on the box, destination. His address in the road is 8a, ours is SoreTween Cottage.  Almost identical?

If we still lived in Surrey the do-as-you-likeys would have had it away in a fraction of the time.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Diver300 on August 03, 2020, 07:54:55 am
As UPS charge for collection, (see https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=83743.msg2493136#msg2493136 (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=83743.msg2493136#msg2493136)), I often drop off packages at one the local stores that UPS pay to accept packages.

One in particular that is near here doesn't like accepting packages unless the collection will be on the same day.

Last year, the shop was closed when I went to work at 6:30 on a Friday before a bank holiday, when it was supposed to open at 6:00. I dropped the parcel off at 4:30 ish, and the shopkeeper told me to bring it back on Tuesday. I pointed out that I would be out of the country by then, so he reluctantly agreed to take it.

Last Saturday, he wouldn't take a parcel at 2:30 pm, as his collection wouldn't be until Monday and he told me to take it back and come back on Monday. I just took it to the next nearest drop-off point, where there was no hint of not wanting to accept it.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on August 03, 2020, 08:08:42 am
We ordered one thing  to be delivered to Stepson for his birthday and posted a card with something else. 5-7 days in advance.

One order was from an olive farm in Spain; we also ordered some for ourselves.

Our delivery arrived in a box covered in cow shit. Literally covered in cow shit. One 5l bottle of olive oil cracked (very little had actually leaked.

The delivery for Stepson, who lives in Reading, has so far traveled to Dundee (after landing in the south of England) and is currently meandering, somewhat slower than an arthritic snail, back down the UK.

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on August 03, 2020, 08:11:35 am
As UPS charge for collection, (see https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=83743.msg2493136#msg2493136 (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=83743.msg2493136#msg2493136)), I often drop off packages at one the local stores that UPS pay to accept packages.

One in particular that is near here doesn't like accepting packages unless the collection will be on the same day.

Last year, the shop was closed when I went to work at 6:30 on a Friday before a bank holiday, when it was supposed to open at 6:00. I dropped the parcel off at 4:30 ish, and the shopkeeper told me to bring it back on Tuesday. I pointed out that I would be out of the country by then, so he reluctantly agreed to take it.

Last Saturday, he wouldn't take a parcel at 2:30 pm, as his collection wouldn't be until Monday and he told me to take it back and come back on Monday. I just took it to the next nearest drop-off point, where there was no hint of not wanting to accept it.

The obvious question is : Must you use UPS?     

 Since they reduced their interest in collecting from domestic address some years ago, and charged for doing it, I voted with my feet (and I have always found UPS to be the top of the price range) 

I tend to use Hermes because there's a OneStop drop-off that's in walking distance from my home and it's open very long hours, they were a bit confused with a bike in abox but did take it! - or I look at the consolidator  Parcel2Go for deals

Rob
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on August 03, 2020, 11:37:59 am
The obvious question is : Must you use UPS?     

 Since they reduced their interest in collecting from domestic address some years ago, and charged for doing it, I voted with my feet (and I have always found UPS to be the top of the price range) 

I tend to use Hermes because there's a OneStop drop-off that's in walking distance from my home and it's open very long hours, they were a bit confused with a bike in abox but did take it! - or I look at the consolidator  Parcel2Go for deals

Excellent question.

In the UK I always tried to use Royal Mail. Here I use DHL. They seem the least incompetent. The only issue I have with them is there are about a dozen different DHL brands, DHL express, DHL connect etc... and all are different, and each has it's own customer service, and it's a right pain in the arse. But they seem to be reliable...

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Diver300 on August 03, 2020, 01:06:18 pm
The obvious question is : Must you use UPS?     
I use the post office up to 2kg, and print my postage at home, which is convenient. Above 2kg, they get rapidly more expensive.

UPS also do home-printed labels, and generally work. I paid about £5.50 to ship 5 kg within the UK, next day.

I think I will just factor in drop-offs at the next drop-off point. It's only 800 m further away.

However I'll look at Hermes.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on August 03, 2020, 02:51:22 pm
Drop It
Hide It
Leg* It

* alternatively, “Lie About It”, as the Aim 93 team of London South Bank University will readily attest

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on August 03, 2020, 02:53:37 pm
Drop It
Hide It
Leg* It

* alternatively, “Lie About It”, as the Aim 93 team of London South Bank University will readily attest

I thought that was what became hermes? Hide it, Drop it, Nick it, Lose it,

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Giraffe on August 04, 2020, 04:03:32 pm
Nasty shock with Hermes: ordered 5 items from that there 'bay on Tuesday last week. RM postie delivered 2 Thursday lunchtime; Hermes brought the other 3 in one go the same afternoon.
There was a a tracking link for Hermes but it was useless. Said something like 'at local depot out for delivery' from which I inferred that the depot was on the road somewhere.
As the route for the van is known before it leaves the depot, a text/email with an approximate time should be easy to supply.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on August 04, 2020, 05:47:51 pm
Nasty shock with Hermes: ordered 5 items from that there 'bay on Tuesday last week. RM postie delivered 2 Thursday lunchtime; Hermes brought the other 3 in one go the same afternoon.
There was a a tracking link for Hermes but it was useless. Said something like 'at local depot out for delivery' from which I inferred that the depot was on the road somewhere.
As the route for the van is known before it leaves the depot, a text/email with an approximate time should be easy to supply.

Hmm, around here the “Hermes Lady” uses her own car, as do most of the Hermes deliveries. I guess yours was a branded van?  Oh, and perhaps, like UPS, the drivers can choose their own route? 
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on August 04, 2020, 06:44:39 pm
Makes sense; The Travelling Salesman Problem can effectively be solved in O(1) time by paying a fixed wage and offloading the time taken and fuel costs to the employee.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Polar Bear on August 04, 2020, 07:11:21 pm
They are not lovingly known as Herpes for no reason...

You don't know whether you are going to catch them or not!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on August 22, 2020, 05:00:33 pm
Quote from: The very sh!te Yodel
We tried to deliver your parcel but couldn't access your property.

No.  No, you did not.  I was in all day.  I was tracking your minion all day.  When he was just round the corner I even came downstairs, that I might more easily hear the doorbell wot I mended the other day.  Your minion did not knock, nor ring, nor even leave a card.  You useless fucking basket cases >:(

I want my Shiny and I WANT IT NOW.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on August 24, 2020, 10:19:08 am
Quote
Estimated delivery date
Today
Stops before you
124

I'm watching you, Yodel...

(Eight hours laters)

Quote
Estimated delivery date
Today
Stops before you
28

My Shiny Thing has been in my possession for 45 minutes :facepalm:

You useless workshy twats.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CommuteTooFar on August 25, 2020, 04:04:13 pm
On Saturday morning I got a email from DPD saying your parcel from "Beers Of Europe" will be delivered on Monday.
This prompted me to download the DPD app to my 'new' phone.  It anounced I had no deliveries but I have seen that before so I entered the tracking code. A good thing I did because it popped up and said your parcel will be delivered between 13:54 and 14:53 today (still Saturday). Which it was.

Good service. Bad information.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ElyDave on August 27, 2020, 07:21:59 am
"Delivery attempted 25 August
Unfortunately, DHL ran into an issue when attempting your delivery. They will try again."

Utter cobblers, there was no point during that day that the house was empty, and another organisation based on a very large river managed to deliver me a shiny new webcam sucessfully on that day.

EDIT - pressing the "track" button suggests that it is still in Rogdau, DE one day after the attempted delivery, having been elsewhere, DE on the 25th.  That's bloody quick, DE-Fens-DE in two days
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: SoreTween on August 27, 2020, 09:08:47 am
River Co delivery was marked as 'handed to resident' at 16:00 ish on Tuesday.  Mrs Tween and I were both in and it sure wasn't handed to residents of this abode. After checking the usual spots around the front door and in the greenhouse I spent a delightful 20 minutes figuring out how to report non arrival.
Found next day under a bush at the end of the garden.  Rude words withheld as the courier had put it in a sealed plastic bag.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: cygnet on September 04, 2020, 08:18:28 pm
DX.
Fair play yesterday they couldn't find the house and said so at 9am (so I didn't wait in all day)
Additional directions given "Google the street address not the postcode" and rearranged for today. At 6pm their site said variously (depending on how I access it)
Customer out, card left. Bullshit.
Redelivery Failed Customer.

Well they got the second one right, except that was tracked at midnight last night.

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ElyDave on September 08, 2020, 08:36:54 am
So FedEx can get soemthing to me today that was in Holland yesterday

Royal Mail Porcel Farce will be delivering something today that I ordered in the UK on Friday.

This is the status of a World Beating NationTM
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on September 08, 2020, 09:24:26 am
DPD yesterday: Balkar turns up on time to deliver something to my place of work, only it wasn't for us. I tell him a) the correct location that he needs to go to and b) that he has something (important) for me on his van. I know this, as DPD have told me so via text & email. Balkar then pretends to ferret about in the back of his van, only he can't (be bothered to) find it. 'I'll bring it later', he says. Only he doesn't. Twat. On top of that, he goes off to the wrong place to deliver the parcel he originally tried to deliver. Fuck knows where that ended up.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: cygnet on September 08, 2020, 02:39:09 pm
DX.
Fair play yesterday they couldn't find the house and said so at 9am (so I didn't wait in all day)
Additional directions given "Google the street address not the postcode" and rearranged for today. At 6pm their site said variously (depending on how I access it)
Customer out, card left. Bullshit.
Redelivery Failed Customer.

Well they got the second one right, except that was tracked at midnight last night.
And again. Didn't even attempt to re-deliver today. (re-deliveries between 9am and 5pm, "card left" at 8.30am).
I've now told the seller I will not reschedule it until they confirm DX can actually deliver it.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Polar Bear on September 10, 2020, 01:26:22 pm
DPD's crown in Rugby at least has well and truly slipped.

I ordered a pair of pedals from Bike24 over 3 weeks back.  They arrived at DPD's local DC on 16th August and then went into "in transit" on 17th.  Not "out for delivery" mind, "in transit"

After a week I contacted Bike24 who were less than helpful but eventually raised an issue with DPD.  After two weeks I reminded Bike24 who curtly told me to be patient.  Fuck that. I ordered a pair of the same pedals later that day from Tredz.

I also contacted DPD who promise to respond in upto 4 hours:  It was 4 days and a "pass you on to somebody else" fob off.   Still no reply.

After my morning run and breakfast today I fired off more emails to DPD and Bike24 as it is now over 3 weeks.

The Royal Mail delivered my Tredz order a couple of hours ago.   I have now cancelled my Bike24 order and requested a refund.

DPD have been shite in this but Bike24 haven't covered themselves in glory either.   Tredz and The Royal Mail on the other hand ...

The good news is that my recently acquired tandem can now go for pilot trials.    👍
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Porkins on September 25, 2020, 01:02:23 am
I've had parcels stolen by drivers for DPD, DHL and UPS in the last 18 months. I live in Brixton, and everyone's got the message that the police don't investigate non-violent theft any more. The criminals are off the fucking hook. It's impossible to do anything about it, because even if the customer service people go through the motions of giving a shit, which takes many hours of nagging, the GPS data turns out to be 'unavailable' (presumably the drivers know how to disable it) and the signature turns out to  be just a scribble. So the drivers get away with it, and blame the customer, or the collection point staff, or some unknown thief who somehow got into my building undetected at just the right moment. The DHL guy even had the cheek to accuse me personally of signing for my parcel, which had a £1,000 phone in it. That was his opening gambit. I was the thief, doing it in order to make a fraudulent insurance claim. Now I try to make sure that nothing is delivered to me - it goes to the local collection point. At least this stops me from being accused of thievery. But it doesn't stop things being 'lost'. There's no solution to this. The criminals can just do what they want, and their managers couldn't give a fuck.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: fuzzy (retd.) AAGE on September 25, 2020, 11:13:41 am
There is an easy solution.

Go to the shops to buy stuff. It doesn't need the insertion of a dleivery element then.

On line retail is a thieves paradise. Bricks and mortar stores still deal with theft but they are generally the victim, not you.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jakob W on September 25, 2020, 11:55:35 am
No-contact deliveries have presumably also provided a certain amount of plausible deniability to the nefarious.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Polar Bear on September 25, 2020, 12:00:25 pm
DHL round here take a picture of your front door with the package leaning against it.  There is more than one image of my otherwise bare feet adorned with my Oofos Slides with a parcel between them.

The image of the missing pedals is ominous by it's absence.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Porkins on September 25, 2020, 06:29:28 pm
There is an easy solution.

Go to the shops to buy stuff.
It's hard to find French silk tubs in the shops! But this afternoon thery magically reappeared from the depths of the UPS driver's cave of stupid.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Andrij on September 27, 2020, 08:46:23 pm
Russian Post, or ParcelFarce?

Not sure who gets the credit.  On Wednesday, 23-09 at 21:35 (timezone unknown), somewhere in Moskva, my parcel was "Despatched to the UK".  Four days later there is no update.  Has it gone by ship?  Or perhaps there's a Lada chugging across Europe with my package.

Russian Post gets full credit for the run-up to 'despatch'.  Parcel was dropped off at a local Moscow post office on Friday, 18/09, so that's five days from posting to 'leaving the country' - all taking place in the greater Moscow area.

Good thing I'm not desperate to receive this package, otherwise I would have been ranting about the seller who took a week to collect funds from WesterUnion.  ::-)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: SoreTween on September 29, 2020, 07:10:30 pm
SW Logistics.  Today they delivered one Solar Panel and one jigsaw puzzle.  Two of the former was what left the vendor.  Not only that, the driver was just about the most miserable article I have encountered in a long while.  I wonder if it'll be him again on Thursday when the replacement arrives.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Andrij on September 30, 2020, 09:09:31 pm
Russian Post, or ParcelFarce?

Not sure who gets the credit.  On Wednesday, 23-09 at 21:35 (timezone unknown), somewhere in Moskva, my parcel was "Despatched to the UK".  Four days later there is no update.  Has it gone by ship?  Or perhaps there's a Lada chugging across Europe with my package.

Russian Post gets full credit for the run-up to 'despatch'.  Parcel was dropped off at a local Moscow post office on Friday, 18/09, so that's five days from posting to 'leaving the country' - all taking place in the greater Moscow area.

Good thing I'm not desperate to receive this package, otherwise I would have been ranting about the seller who took a week to collect funds from WesterUnion.  ::-)

One week since my parcel was "Despatched to the UK" from Moscow, and still no update.  My money is on transport by Lada, but heading East from Moscow, not West.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on September 30, 2020, 09:25:17 pm
Russian Post, or ParcelFarce?

Not sure who gets the credit.  On Wednesday, 23-09 at 21:35 (timezone unknown), somewhere in Moskva, my parcel was "Despatched to the UK".  Four days later there is no update.  Has it gone by ship?  Or perhaps there's a Lada chugging across Europe with my package.

Russian Post gets full credit for the run-up to 'despatch'.  Parcel was dropped off at a local Moscow post office on Friday, 18/09, so that's five days from posting to 'leaving the country' - all taking place in the greater Moscow area.

Good thing I'm not desperate to receive this package, otherwise I would have been ranting about the seller who took a week to collect funds from WesterUnion.  ::-)

One week since my parcel was "Despatched to the UK" from Moscow, and still no update.  My money is on transport by Lada, but heading East from Moscow, not West.

Once they've built the Bering Strait Fixed Link (and the infrastructure at either end) it'll be in Anchorage in no time.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on October 07, 2020, 10:10:59 am
My beer didn't arrive yesterday because Yodel found 'my property to be inaccessible.' Yetis in the driveway, bears behind the porch, I assume. Or big fat lie.

For bonus points, it seems we have to contact them to arrange redelivery.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on October 07, 2020, 11:24:49 am
My beer didn't arrive yesterday because Yodel found 'my property to be inaccessible.' Yetis in the driveway, bears behind the porch, I assume. Or big fat lie.

For bonus points, it seems we have to contact them to arrange redelivery.

They did that to me.  The distance from Larrington Gardens Road to the Grand Portico of Larrington Towers is about twelve of the BRITONS' feet, but I expect their lackey got confused by the front door being on Larrington Gardens Road and not Larrington Towers Road* like wot the address says.  Subsequent Yodelackeys have found it without difficulty.  You can do the redelivery thing via their webshite without any nonsense from the “Sorry We Missed You” lie-card, which in my case I had not got.

* front door jiggery-pokery courtesy of a Mr H Göring and his æronaut friends.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Andrij on October 07, 2020, 03:04:51 pm
Russian Post, or ParcelFarce?

Not sure who gets the credit.  On Wednesday, 23-09 at 21:35 (timezone unknown), somewhere in Moskva, my parcel was "Despatched to the UK".  Four days later there is no update.  Has it gone by ship?  Or perhaps there's a Lada chugging across Europe with my package.

Russian Post gets full credit for the run-up to 'despatch'.  Parcel was dropped off at a local Moscow post office on Friday, 18/09, so that's five days from posting to 'leaving the country' - all taking place in the greater Moscow area.

Good thing I'm not desperate to receive this package, otherwise I would have been ranting about the seller who took a week to collect funds from WesterUnion.  ::-)

One week since my parcel was "Despatched to the UK" from Moscow, and still no update.  My money is on transport by Lada, but heading East from Moscow, not West.

Once they've built the Bering Strait Fixed Link (and the infrastructure at either end) it'll be in Anchorage in no time.

They must have turned back West when they hit the Urals.

The saga:
* 5 days from posting in Moscow to being exported from Moscow
* 13 days from export to arrival in the UK
* <10 hours from arrival to delivery.

THE END
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on October 07, 2020, 03:09:27 pm
My beer didn't arrive yesterday because Yodel found 'my property to be inaccessible.' Yetis in the driveway, bears behind the porch, I assume. Or big fat lie.

For bonus points, it seems we have to contact them to arrange redelivery.

They did that to me.  The distance from Larrington Gardens Road to the Grand Portico of Larrington Towers is about twelve of the BRITONS' feet, but I expect their lackey got confused by the front door being on Larrington Gardens Road and not Larrington Towers Road* like wot the address says.  Subsequent Yodelackeys have found it without difficulty.  You can do the redelivery thing via their webshite without any nonsense from the “Sorry We Missed You” lie-card, which in my case I had not got.

* front door jiggery-pokery courtesy of a Mr H Göring and his æronaut friends.

I think it was because it was 6pm and he couldn't be bothered finishing the route. Mostly annoyed my wife who kept getting texts saying 'soon, sooner, soonist' and then 'no can do.'

I'm quite sure my property is accessible and there's only two houses my street so it's not exactly difficult to find.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Basil on October 07, 2020, 05:57:29 pm
I quite like Yodel. They deliver to our side door porch without even ringing the bell. Regardless of whether we're in or out, in bed or up. Perfect
Most other outfits, including royal mail do likewise after failing to get a response to the front door bell.
There's only one major courier (can't recall the name just now) (DPD? something like that) who throw a sulk if we don't provide a presence.
In fact Royal mail and Yodel had to de-learn actually walking into the kitchen.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on October 07, 2020, 06:35:46 pm

Opened front door to go out, found an open parcel with lose black nitrile gloves (quite a few), and next to it the item my housemate had ordered. He hadn't ordered the gloves.

Then just now opened front door to find my saw was there on the door step.

No knock. I was in at both times.

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on October 07, 2020, 08:05:32 pm
Attempt 2. Couldn't access your property. (I'm not sure of the exact wording, my wife is stomping around, conjuring up some precisely honed invective – it's not like it's urgent but stop telling us you're going to deliver it and not, I don't give a shit if you say 'next Tuesday'.)

I checked. Fortress gate? No. Moat? No. Drawbridge? No. Flaming flagons of boiling oil? On the hob.

I'd like a moat around The Asbestos Palace though. At the weekend, I was admiring the moat around Groombridge Place. Alas, it's not the sort of thing you can steal.

I think most of the couriers these days are 'franchises', everyone hates Hermes, but the couple who deliver our stuff for them are the best of the bunch.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Johnny Faro on October 07, 2020, 08:15:13 pm
Due to the no signature rules most couriers are using I'm generally finding our deliveries dumped in various locations in our workshop.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: TimC on October 21, 2020, 01:44:57 pm
DHL this morning. Guy comes to the door to deliver a package which was a load of financial stuff which needed reading and signing for a return this afternoon in a separate pick up. Demands the paperwork for the return, which I don't have (I didn't know it, but it was in the package). Aggressively tells me, 'You booked it mate, you should have the paperwork'. I didn't book it (the sender did), and told him so, and that if there was no paperwork it wasn't my problem, it was the sender's. 'Well I can't fucking take it if you don't have the paperwork'. I repeated that it wasn't my problem. 'Well, fuck you you bellend' was his delightful reply. I slammed the door in his face, at which point he started a rant of spectacular proportions (all on video). Unfortunately, I rose to it and reopened the door and told him where to get off. He then approached me and threatened me before marching off. I hesitated then followed him to a) make sure he left my property, and b) didn't damage anything on the way (he was ranting the whole time). He went to his van, where there was another driver. He had a fairly incoherent rant about me at the other guy, at which point I thought they were both going to have a go at me - I was about 20m away, the other side of the cars in the drive. I told them they were on camera (they were, but that one wasn't recording), at which point they retired to the van, had a loud but unintelligible conversation, and then left.

I was very shaken, but managed to get hold of their customer service people to make a complaint. I also told the sender, who has a very large account with DHL so they promised to follow it up from their end. I've told both the sender and DHL that I don't want DHL people on my property ever again.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Tim Hall on October 21, 2020, 01:52:27 pm
Bloody hell Tim. I'd be calling the old bill on that one.  I hope you're not too shaken by it all.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: TimC on October 21, 2020, 02:41:36 pm
Bloody hell Tim. I'd be calling the old bill on that one.  I hope you're not too shaken by it all.

Yes, I thought about that, but I've done it through DHL and the big finance company whose package it was. I don't want to get involved in a protracted investigation and legal process; I'd rather they dealt with it internally and let me move on. It was very unpleasant, and I really don't need to relive it!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Tim Hall on October 21, 2020, 03:22:39 pm
I'd suggest a restorative cup of tea/brown drink/G&T/light ale.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: TimC on October 21, 2020, 05:18:03 pm
Tea will do nicely!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rr on October 21, 2020, 11:52:00 pm
TNT who work use to send me stuff including expensive IT equipment. Their database maps my postcode to the next street.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on November 10, 2020, 07:27:29 pm

Got an email to say that my jacket is being sent back to me after it was repaired. Yay! Then I read the email, and the address it lists is missing the house number. So it'll never arrive... cos it's a UK system and it's truncated the last digits off the address line, which are most important... Have emailed the company sending the parcel, and sent a tweet to the courier (parcel farce). Let's see how we get on with fixing it...

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on November 11, 2020, 10:02:46 pm

Got an email to say that my jacket is being sent back to me after it was repaired. Yay! Then I read the email, and the address it lists is missing the house number. So it'll never arrive... cos it's a UK system and it's truncated the last digits off the address line, which are most important... Have emailed the company sending the parcel, and sent a tweet to the courier (parcel farce). Let's see how we get on with fixing it...

J

Parcelforce refuse to do anything from my end, as it has to be the sender who asks them to change it. I have contacted the sender, who will see if they can update the address label.

The jacket has made it to .NL, so in theory if the label is fixed, I'll get it tomorrow.

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on November 14, 2020, 12:36:33 pm
I just got a tracking email from Herpes.  The body consisting of one word: "null".
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on November 14, 2020, 12:39:42 pm
I just got a tracking email from Herpes.  The body consisting of one word: "null".

Well at least they are honest about the odds of your parcel arriving intact.

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jurek on November 14, 2020, 02:26:10 pm
Random information but
FedEx own TNT, and DHL own UK Mail.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on November 14, 2020, 05:11:06 pm
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on November 14, 2020, 06:07:02 pm
I just got a tracking email from Herpes.  The body consisting of one word: "null".

Well at least they are honest about the odds of your parcel arriving intact.

null was delivered about 40 minutes later, mildly dented.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on November 15, 2020, 10:16:24 pm
Parcelforce refuse to do anything from my end, as it has to be the sender who asks them to change it. I have contacted the sender, who will see if they can update the address label.

The jacket has made it to .NL, so in theory if the label is fixed, I'll get it tomorrow.

J

Arrived Friday. All in all the address faff added only one extra day to the transit. Not bad.

Now waiting for a package from the states, and a few from china...

Patience...

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: andrewc on November 16, 2020, 09:01:21 pm
My Hermes package is now 3 hours late.   Their tracker says it will be here by 18:00...


Edit !  Just delivered,  while I've got something bubbling on the stove.  So I'll have to run down & grab it later.