Yet Another Cycling Forum
General Category => The Knowledge => Health & Fitness => Topic started by: Wowbagger on August 11, 2014, 10:29:56 am
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This morning I received my bowel cancer testing kit through the post.
It arrived too late for me to use it this morning.
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It is worth doing, despite the yuk! factor.
Being a little younger, I was treated to a flexible sigmoidoscopy last year.
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I had my third one last week. Judging from our comparitve ages, and guessing that this is your first, I think that they must come every two years.
They're not the best fun first thing in the morning, are they?
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I'm just glad there is someone there to look at my shit
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I've looked at shit through a microscope. It's a lot less exciting that you might expect.
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I have had a rather nice PM from a concerned forummer, whom I have assured that this is just a routine test that is sent to everyone who reaches 60.
I will probably give it a go in the morning. You will be relieved to hear that TT will remain WP.
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I knew about the telegram I didnt know about the Poo sticks.
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There is very little publicity about Bowel Screening because Nice People don't Talk About Poo. Nobody else makes poo after all, do they?
So the NHS sends discreet little envelopes to all eligible subjects, some of whom get Shocked or Worried.
We're English and DON'T Talk About Poo.
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I'm going to read the instructions again carefully before I go to bed. Mrs. Wow has also had a kit but hasn't done anything about it yet. We will probably have group therapy in the morning.
I don't mind talking about poo. It might be from my non-English side, or possibly because I was in Germany last week.
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We're English and DON'T Talk About Poo.
There seems to be plenty of it about on this forum these days. I've not done a bowel cancer screen but I have had to provide a sample when I had food poisoning once. Although a stool sample was a rather loose description at the time. Turned out to be campylobacter as I recall - that wasn't much fun either but a very effective way of losing 1 1/5 stone very quickly ::-)
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I'm sure this would be easier with a 'Continental Shelf' type German bog...
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Blimey! I have to take two samples from each of three different craps. That's more onerous than I thought. I reckon that will be tomorrow, Thursday and Friday then.
I'm sure this would be easier with a 'Continental Shelf' type German bog...
The instructions state explicitly that you mustn't take the samples out of the bog because there is a risk that they could be contaminated with other people's shit. That would never do. The recommended method is to catch it in your hand, either in bog paper or a plastic bag, or in a clean ice cream tub*. Maybe the old-style German Krappenhaus might have been suitable, but certainly not the British WC.
*Do not put it back in the freezer.
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Crumbs! That sounds complicated.
I talk about poo regularly, but I'm a nanny and we see a lot of it. ;D
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Continental Shelf is self-cleansing and could be further decontaminated if needed.
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... this is just a routine test that is sent to everyone who reaches 60.
Aha, this is something to look forward to - and no, that wasn't said sarcastically. I lost a work colleague who, at the age of 54, died two weeks after stomach cancer was discovered and I hear or read of cancers being discovered in routine health checks. I have often wondered how one gets a routine health check as I haven't seen my GP in over 35 years.
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One down, two to go.
That was physically - and psychologically - more difficult than I expected. My plan was to used our camping bog, temporarily lifting the "no solids" rule, but I firstly found that my enormous arse would not fit comfortably on its little seat in such a way that it would tidily collect everything that I might produce, simultaneously from both sources, as it were. Secondly, it is only a heavy duty plastic bucket and I had concerns that my elephantine mass might cause it to break.
Plan B. A double layer of paper handkerchief (man-size, naturally - much less flimsy, and of course a considerably greater area than a few sheets of bog roll) over your hand and wait for the first instalment. It's actually quite hard to steel yourself to catch your own turds, so conditioned are we from an early age not to do so. However, I collected a walnut-sized piece, used cardboard stick number one to smear a little in Window 1 of the test kit, disposed of the unwanted debris down the bog, waited for the second turd and repeated. Each test kit allows for three different craps and you have to take two samples from each, at different stages of the bowel motion, I suppose to check that different bits of the rectum are free from cancer cells.
The necessary deposits are now safely stored in my bedside cabinet, with the little flap tucked into its tab, waiting for the next two instalments. The cardboard sticks have been disposed of in a dog-shit bag to be exported to the park when we go later this morning.
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Presumably in-bowl contamination could come from contact with the bowl or the water. If one managed to suspend one's output above the waterline and away from the sides of the bowl , that material kept 'high and dry' would remain contamination free.
A sheet of loosely crumpled newspaper placed appropriately would do the trick. It would also flush away obligingly when the sampling was completed.
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I think newspaper would be liable to cause a blockage downstream. The loose fibres of bog paper and paper handkerchieves are designed to disintegrate rapidly in water, but I think newspaper, especially the higher-quality stuff produced these days, would take much too long.
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Mine always sticks to the side of the bowl anyway** so it's simple to scrape off a sample that hasn't contacted any water or porcelain. Hand-catching is impossible anyway - I can't reach.
** or in France, to the back wall.
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How could you be sure that you are collecting samples from different turds?
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Maybe a pulp cardboard bedpan/bedpan liner, placed 'twixt WC pan and seat could catch the products efficiently.
Something like this http://www.amazon.co.uk/VERNACARE-BEDPAN-LINER-CASE-101AA100/dp/B00CESSBMK/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1407843785&sr=8-7&keywords=bedpan+liner (http://www.amazon.co.uk/VERNACARE-BEDPAN-LINER-CASE-101AA100/dp/B00CESSBMK/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1407843785&sr=8-7&keywords=bedpan+liner)
A keen forumenger could buy 100 use a few, then pass the pack on to the next in need.
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Another 'line' of this bowel screening was to offer flexible sigmoidoscopy to everyone from some, but not all, General Practices in our area at 55.
I had this last year and needed a follow-up colonoscopy.
I have had the 'all-clear' after this and need nothing else till I get Wow's poo sticks in 4 years' time.
My friend, who is local and the same age, was not offered this.
Shame. Her first husband died of bowel cancer.
I suggested she request screening; she works in healthcare.
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Been doing these tests for a number of years now. A cousin and her husband ignored them; unfortunately he died of bowel cancer earlier this year :(
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Squat over a sheet of clingfilm on the floor?
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Or a glass table?
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I'm reliably told that kitchen roll or paper towels are the best being generally thicker and larger per sheet than bog roll making it easier to catch a log cleanly.
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... this is just a routine test that is sent to everyone who reaches 60.
Aha, this is something to look forward to - and no, that wasn't said sarcastically. I lost a work colleague who, at the age of 54, died two weeks after stomach cancer was discovered and I hear or read of cancers being discovered in routine health checks. I have often wondered how one gets a routine health check as I haven't seen my GP in over 35 years.
So long as you are still registered with a UK GP at a UK address, it should be sent automagically.
Given you have been 'off scene' for a while, it might be wise to check you are still registered.
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The description makes riding the black lizard seem a doddle by comparison.
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Maybe a pulp cardboard bedpan/bedpan liner, placed 'twixt WC pan and seat could catch the products efficiently.
Something like this http://www.amazon.co.uk/VERNACARE-BEDPAN-LINER-CASE-101AA100/dp/B00CESSBMK/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1407843785&sr=8-7&keywords=bedpan+liner (http://www.amazon.co.uk/VERNACARE-BEDPAN-LINER-CASE-101AA100/dp/B00CESSBMK/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1407843785&sr=8-7&keywords=bedpan+liner)
A keen forumenger could buy 100 use a few, then pass the pack on to the next in need.
Roger - could you organise some YACF branded ones with various colour options?
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Another 'line' of this bowel screening was to offer flexible sigmoidoscopy to everyone from some, but not all, General Practices in our area at 55.
I had this last year and needed a follow-up colonoscopy.
I have had the 'all-clear' after this and need nothing else till I get Wow's poo sticks in 4 years' time.
My friend, who is local and the same age, was not offered this.
Shame. Her first husband died of bowel cancer.
I suggested she request screening; she works in healthcare.
Would you like me to store them for 4 years or send them now?
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Another 'line' of this bowel screening was to offer flexible sigmoidoscopy to everyone from some, but not all, General Practices in our area at 55.
I had this last year and needed a follow-up colonoscopy.
I have had the 'all-clear' after this and need nothing else till I get Wow's poo sticks in 4 years' time.
My friend, who is local and the same age, was not offered this.
Shame. Her first husband died of bowel cancer.
I suggested she request screening; she works in healthcare.
Would you like me to store them for 4 years or send them now?
I leave the decision to an older, wiser man... ;D ;D ;D
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Another 'line' of this bowel screening was to offer flexible sigmoidoscopy to everyone from some, but not all, General Practices in our area at 55.
I had this last year and needed a follow-up colonoscopy.
I have had the 'all-clear' after this and need nothing else till I get Wow's poo sticks in 4 years' time.
My friend, who is local and the same age, was not offered this.
Shame. Her first husband died of bowel cancer.
I suggested she request screening; she works in healthcare.
Would you like me to store them for 4 years or send them now?
I leave the decision to an older, wiser man... ;D ;D ;D
Who's that then? ???
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I finally got my response letter today. I have to admit that I was beginning to get a little concerned (as you do). Normally, the response is pretty quick, so waiting nearly two weeks had me thinking things like, "Oh god, they've found something, I've been passed to another department and I'll be getting a letter from them"
I opened the letter tonight. My first thought was, "Oh no, it's too long, a whole page of stuff. That's got to be bad news"
Basically it said, "Dear Basil, thank you for some most delightful poo. All clear".
Then several paragraphs of blah, blah, blah.
:thumbsup:
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Excellent news, Basil. I am sure your poo is a joy to behold.
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I have finished my smearing and the little bit of card is in its PBP (Poo By Post) envelope and is ready to go. I'm rather glad to get that over with, to be honest.
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The emotion of a motion in motion...
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I was discussing this procedure with family members. My brother tells me that his dear wife cannot steel herself to play with her own turds and so has not partaken in the screening. I emailed my younger daughter, who knows a lot about cancer as it's her job to do so, and she quite sensibly pointed out that getting bowel cancer would involve a lot more horrid yuk than just catching a few turds ever couple of years, would no doubt hurt a lot and could well prove fatal, so nipping it in the bud must be a good idea.
So, folks, Take Care of your Turds!
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If you are offered a flexible sigmoidoscopy at 55, go for that too.
The preparatory enema is 'just one of those things' and not painful.
The scoping itself is a tad painful in parts but bearable.
They found and removed a polyp in my case, then referred me for a colonoscopy.
Colonoscopy preparation is tedious; 4 days on a low-res diet was dull and I really missed my 5-a-day (usually more like 8 in my case).
I had the colonoscopy using Entonox as I really didn't want sedation. Some parts were momentarily hurty.
I was given the all clear; they even saw my appendix!
A while later, a taxi driver told me how he had lost his 17-year-old son to bowel cancer.
Caught early, bowel growths are easily treatable.
Caught too late its poo bags
or curtains.
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I can't do that without a tardis!
Had a conversation with younger daughter today - she works for Cancer Research UK. She was telling me that bowel cancer is the third biggest killer in the UK, after breast and lung. From what I understand the polyps take about 50* years to develop and if you have the flexible sigmoidoscopy at 55 any they find will be removed and you won't need it done again. CRUK are currently pressurising the government to introduce these tests a a matter of course, to be followed up with the sort of test that I have done this week. It is estimated that incidences of bowel cancer will be reduced by 50% if FS becomes universal.
*I think this may be wrong and a result of me mishearing her - she was speaking to me from Melbourne. I think 15 is more likely.
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I wasn't suggesting a time machine for you, Wow!
I was trying to encourage our younger brethren to accept and participate in any screening offered for all the reasons you outline.
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The frequency depends on your pathology. I get to ride the black lizard every two years, on account of my condition.
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I have finished my smearing and the little bit of card is in its PBP (Poo By Post) envelope and is ready to go.
Make sure you address it to Helly. And put a 2nd-class stamp on, that way it really might take 4 years to get to her.
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When the pilot for the Bowel Cancer Screening system was being run it wasn't unheard of for the labs, instead of a sealed sample card, to receive a jiffy bag containing a complete poo.
That made for an unhappy postman.
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I've looked at shit through a microscope. It's a lot less exciting that you might expect.
Having looked at a shit load of it in my career - on bits of cardboard, in plastic bottles, in blenders, dried under IR lamps, and stirred up with ether - its actually incredibly boring.
Although if you do want some light reading I refer you to The Bristol Stool Scale (yes, Bristol) : http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bristol_stool_scale
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I'm sure the Bristol Chart has been discussed elsewhere within yacf.
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It has indeed, more frequently that the King's Lynn Gonad Shield.
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I have received a letter to tell me that my turds are normal and that should be it for a couple of years.
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Good Ho! Wowwers. I have been doing this for a few years now and it is not pleasant. I never dismiss it since my sister had bowel cancer several years ago, and I am happy to say, is still with us. However, spare a thought for the poor old postie. He must know what he is collecting from the post box.
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Mrs. B received her first ever poo sticks envelope last week. I notice that it is still sitting on the sideboard. I hope I'm not going to have to encourage her. Particularly in view of today being the day my brother starts his chemo.
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I have had a rather nice PM from a concerned forummer, whom I have assured that this is just a routine test that is sent to everyone who reaches 60.
I will probably give it a go in the morning. You will be relieved to hear that TT will remain WP.
These screening tests start at age 50 in Scotland
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Mrs. Wow and I are going through our second instalment of Poo Sticks. Jan has finished hers and it's ready to post. I have just dealt with my second round (they want 6 smears all together, two from the different stages, as it were, of 3 different poos). Eating those quinoa seeds last night was definitely a mistake...
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I've just received my next installment. It doesn't seem long enough from the last time. Perhaps it's because I've changed health authorities.
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It's more than 2 years, Basil.
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Oh. Thanks Wow.
Bugger. I'm getting older faster.
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Riding the black lizard has to be more fun than poking turds with a plastic spatula.
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They aren't plastic. They are made of cardboard.
(https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t35.0-12/14284842_1672091269776742_1049462037_o.jpg?oh=8169e62326861cb1f824853711161a00&oe=57D3140B)
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Ah. You have to be quick, else your fingers go in it.
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I wondered what those smears were on my Ipad.
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Just been sent a letter telling me I'll have a birthday card soon.
Hope I can manage handling the business.
Can't ask David...
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Got the birthday card before my birthday.
Waited to return it till last Wednesday.
Letter in today's post telling me I'm OK, with usual caveats.
David read letter over my shoulder. Said he didn't know I'd had any recent screening.
Best that way.
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Since I reached 50 never a year goes by without such an activity and/or having something inserted in me.
My recent Over-50s NHS Bowel-Screening even beat my Prostate exams on the scale of - 1 to "Errr..Doctor...I think that's far enough".*
In case you were wondering it's a fiber-optic camera, equipped with a grabber and CO2 inflation nozzles.
They inflate you with CO2 as they go along and it is fairly unpleasant because it actually does feel like you may explode.
None of this embarrassment or discomfort would, I am certain, be anywhere near as bad as the long-term effects, and treatment of, undiscovered cancer up the Poo-pipe.
It's a very small price to pay to either get the all-clear or discover it early in my opinion.
* 'I'm sure he was wearing a wrist watch before he started'
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What's the starting age for this stuff ? I'm 53 & haven't had any notifications.
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I thought it started at 60, I may be wrong but mine did
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Lee, you have read Agent Picolax?
For the uninitated, this is from a cycling forum http://www.ign.com/boards/threads/this-is-a-very-long-read-but-i-swear-it-is-worth-it-it-is-the-greatest-violent-poo-story-ever-told.452628177/
Be prepared - do not read this somewhere you cannot laugh till you go blue.
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What's the starting age for this stuff ? I'm 53 & haven't had any notifications.
My first one was at 60. Then every 2 years since then.
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I had a sigmoidoscopy at 55 (followed by colonoscopy cos they found a polyp).
Poo sticks cards come at 60 hereabouts. I think they're every other year after that, up to 75.
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You can guarantee they'll have stopped doing them by the time my generation get to 60...
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What's the starting age for this stuff ? I'm 53 & haven't had any notifications.
56 for the CO2 inflation and the "Selfie Stick" from hell. NHS
The rest were as part of BUPA health-screening (A company perk of having someone's index-finger* shoved up your arse every few years).
* ...and what also feels like their hand and elbow. It convinced me that I wouldn't be suited to prison life.
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Same as Helly - 55 for the Sigmoidoscopy.
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At 61 all I’ve had is one round of poo sticks.
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Not everyone gets scoped at 55. AIUI it's a postcode/GP surgery lottery.
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I am now 64 so I reckon I am due a third attempt.
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And it has arrived!
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And it has arrived!
And so has mine this morning. So other than a blip a few years ago on my change from NHS England to GIG Cymru, they're still appearing every two years.
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I completed my hat-trick last week, and my faeces should now be housed in Nottingham University.
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I completed my hat-trick last week, and my faeces should now be housed in Nottingham University.
I was pleasantly surprised with the speed of my (negative) results from St Mark's (Harrow).
Hope you get a similar pleasant surprise soon!
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I must remember to finish my poo sticks tomorrow. I did Monday and Tuesday, but then had a tooth extracted Tuesday afternoon which meant I was spitting blood untill Wednesday morning. (I'm a bleeder. Blood thinners because AF)
I figured that if I'd ingested that much blood, it might show up as a false positive.
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I just received a sexual health kit via SHL, there's a swab for everything including stool. Never had that done before.
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I completed my hat-trick last week, and my faeces should now be housed in Nottingham University.
I was pleasantly surprised with the speed of my (negative) results from St Mark's (Harrow).
Hope you get a similar pleasant surprise soon!
I had the all-clear today. Interestingly, the letter was addressed from Nottingham but the envelope said St. Marks, Harrow. Could it be that my poo is so pristine that different NHS branches want to share it?
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That's VERY quick! Mebbe everything goes to Harrow but is relayed from a local hub.
But I am local to Harrow anyway.
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I left pathology as this scheme was being rolled out, but the grand plan was to automate the process of testing in regional centres, with virtually no input from local NHS labs. Local labs were to continue to do the ad hoc testing, but not be part of the screening programme. As I left there was a bidding war in progress for funding for the clever machines that do this stuff.
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And there was I imagining serried ranks of white-coated lab technicians whose solemn task it was to examine people's poo under a microscope and to say "Yea!" or "Nay!" depending on the blood cell count, and have little competitions to see who could get the most positives before tea break.
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Reply this morning.
Dear Mr Basil,
Top pooing!
No problems.
Love
A machine.
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I've done a couple of these screenings now. I was asked to re-submit the last one. Happily the re-test came back negative. When I reflected on what I'd been eating at the time I remembered enjoying a very rare steak a couple of days prior to sampling, so I reckon that's where the blood cells came from.
By the way, I reckon the NHS is one of the best things we've got going for us in the UK....
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I left pathology as this scheme was being rolled out, but the grand plan was to automate the process of testing in regional centres, with virtually no input from local NHS labs. Local labs were to continue to do the ad hoc testing, but not be part of the screening programme. As I left there was a bidding war in progress for funding for the clever machines that do this stuff.
Was the contract won by Crapita?
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Seems poo sticks only improve outcomes for men with left-sided tumours according to recent Finnish study...
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The first set of sample I sent were unclear, so I was sent a second kit. I submitted that, and it was negative, but it isn't the end of it. Best of three, apparently.
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The first set of sample I sent were unclear, so I was sent a second kit. I submitted that, and it was negative, but it isn't the end of it. Best of three, apparently.
Good luck.
I think I would opt for a colonoscopy at this point, personally. You might well end up with one anyway and it would mean less mucking about and greater diagnostic accuracy.
They're not too awful really.
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The first set of sample I sent were unclear, so I was sent a second kit. I submitted that, and it was negative, but it isn't the end of it. Best of three, apparently.
Good luck.
I think I would opt for a colonoscopy at this point, personally. You might well end up with one anyway and it would mean less mucking about and greater diagnostic accuracy.
They're not too awful really.
After the tests I had when I was peeing burgundy rather than weak lemonade, a colonoscopy would hold no fears for me.
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For slightly different reasons, I need to do one of these, on a regular basis, usually after visiting the specialist.
The most recent one was sent in about a month ago. Results letter came yesterday, all clear, thus specialist doesn't need to see me for a year (was on 3-6 months)
Yay!
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The easiest way to get poo on a stick is to eat something that makes it come out like a flock of seagulls, then you can scrape it off the side of the bowl :hand:
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After the tests I had when I was peeing burgundy rather than weak lemonade, a colonoscopy would hold no fears for me.
Beeturia?
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The easiest way to get poo on a stick is to eat something that makes it come out like a flock of seagulls, then you can scrape it off the side of the bowl :hand:
That'd be sprouts for me then... ::-)
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After the tests I had when I was peeing burgundy rather than weak lemonade, a colonoscopy would hold no fears for me.
Beeturia?
Definitely blood,
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Just had a communication from my pal Ruth NOTP, but Lancashire. Her husband had two positive tests for blood in his poo and, full of concern, had a colonoscopy. This gave him the all clear.
Medical advice: don't have black pudding in the 48 hours before using your poo sticks. :D
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Where do piles sit in all of this?
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Different colour blood - blood from them is fresh and bright red - the Nasty blood is much darker and thicker - but yeah- it does muddy the picture somewhat.
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Don't have piles either. Last lot 2 years ago resulted in a colonoscopy.
2 down, 1 to go of my latest batch of sticks (this is my 4th lot now). I haven't had any obvious bleeding for a while now, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
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Much neater kit now. Just a single plastic wand which protrudes from the inside of a bottle cap. Get the sample onto the wand, put the lid back on the bottle so sample is now in the bottle. Robert's your father's brother.
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I'm expecting my first present in the post any time soon :thumbsup:.
Of course - I managed to get a bonus Sigmoidoscopy when I was 55, so the NHS' interest in my bum started early.
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I'm expecting my first present in the post any time soon :thumbsup:.
Of course - I managed to get a bonus Sigmoidoscopy when I was 55, so the NHS' interest in my bum started early.
I got a sigmoidoscopy at 55. They found and removed a polyp.
They followed this with a colonoscopy and gave me the all clear.
Poo sticks in 2018 were clear.
Expect more around next birthday...i
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Once you are on their list, you are always on. I ride the black lizard once very year or two years, but I still get sent the birthday present packages. I phone up and say that I don't need them.