Poll

On which weekend in January shall we celebrate Epiphany?

Saturday 5th and Sunday 6th
5 (62.5%)
Saturday 19th and Sunday 20th
3 (37.5%)

Total Members Voted: 8

Voting closed: September 27, 2018, 05:50:06 pm

Linked Events

  • Mid-Essex yacf Epiphany Extravaganza: January 05, 2019 - January 06, 2019

Author Topic: Mid-Essex yacf Epiphany Extravaganza (Saturday 5 January 2019)  (Read 9044 times)

jiberjaber

  • ... Fancy Pants \o/ ...
  • ACME S&M^2
Re: Mid-Essex yacf Epiphany Extravaganza (Saturday 5 January 2019)
« Reply #175 on: January 07, 2019, 10:25:49 am »
The Musky Reindeer Pelt of Destiny thoroughly enjoyed itself until it had to make like Cinderella rather earlier that it would have liked. Hope the After-Party went with a swing. And less of that god-awful kazoo business.

We wondered where you'd gone! ???
Regards,

Joergen

Re: Mid-Essex yacf Epiphany Extravaganza (Saturday 5 January 2019)
« Reply #176 on: January 07, 2019, 10:45:51 am »
Reindeer are allergic to Kazoo "music". Who knew?
Turn, turn, turn again
Turn, turn to the rain
And the wind

Oscar's dad

  • Cheers!
Re: Mid-Essex yacf Epiphany Extravaganza (Saturday 5 January 2019)
« Reply #177 on: January 07, 2019, 12:06:32 pm »
I’m eagerly waiting for The Bard’s write up!

Oscar's dad

  • Cheers!
Re: Mid-Essex yacf Epiphany Extravaganza (Saturday 5 January 2019)
« Reply #178 on: January 07, 2019, 12:08:38 pm »
BTW, sorry I didn’t make the After Party but 14 hours of being a non-stop dick had taken its toll. I will go into training during 2019 so I have more stamina next time.

Carlosfandango

  • Yours fragrantly.
Re: Mid-Essex yacf Epiphany Extravaganza (Saturday 5 January 2019)
« Reply #179 on: January 07, 2019, 12:17:25 pm »
BTW, sorry I didn’t make the After Party but 14 hours of being a non-stop dick had taken its toll. I will go into training during 2019 so I have more stamina next time.

Only 14 hours?!?!?!? Surely you mean at least 14 years?

But seriously, thank you for all your effort and enthusiasm in arranging an unforgettable experience, both myself and JEM enjoyed ourselves immensely. X

Oscar's dad

  • Cheers!
Re: Mid-Essex yacf Epiphany Extravaganza (Saturday 5 January 2019)
« Reply #180 on: January 07, 2019, 12:20:08 pm »
BTW, sorry I didn’t make the After Party but 14 hours of being a non-stop dick had taken its toll. I will go into training during 2019 so I have more stamina next time.

Only 14 hours?!?!?!? Surely you mean at least 14 years?

But seriously, thank you for all your effort and enthusiasm in arranging an unforgettable experience, both myself and JEM enjoyed ourselves immensely. X

Awww, thank you, it was great fun.

For those of you who haven’t seen it on FB here is the Uncivil Wedding Ceremony...

https://youtu.be/gGaGQuqXTfE

the straggler

  • It's just another brick in the wall
Re: Mid-Essex yacf Epiphany Extravaganza (Saturday 5 January 2019)
« Reply #181 on: January 07, 2019, 01:47:08 pm »
I too would like to extend my appreciation to the Acme Entertainment Team organised by Production Director OD, to Game Host Psyclist for the mastermind pub quiz, Happy Couple Jem & Carlos on the wedding ceremony, and Kazoo Musicians Oaky & Jibers for their talented duet performances, and to Comedian Writer Ted for After Party finale.

It would be a tough ask to better this for next year. Must remember to contribute with a bottle of champers for the after party next time.
'If you don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat'.

Oscar's dad

  • Cheers!
Re: Mid-Essex yacf Epiphany Extravaganza (Saturday 5 January 2019)
« Reply #182 on: January 07, 2019, 01:56:21 pm »
I still have an idea for the 2018 event which never got used cos I was poorly. Let’s hope I can still remember it in 12 months!

tedshred

  • ACME photographer in residence
Re: Mid-Essex yacf Epiphany Extravaganza (Saturday 5 January 2019)
« Reply #183 on: January 07, 2019, 04:15:23 pm »
I was running fashionably late as usual for the pre-Epiphany After Party festivities so I decided to intercept the famous Witham peloton en route.  What I should have done was ride back along the actual route rather than the one I thought they would follow  :facepalm:  I must have missed them by yards (or perhaps they saw me and hid).

Who knows what fun they enjoyed on their ride to the Chequers at Roxwell.  For my part, I had a thoroughly pleasant trip over made all the more enjoyable when I found some COR leading from Chignal St James to the Roxwell Road.  It was fairly rough going in parts and I picked up a huge thorn in my front tyre (no problem with tubeless but I didn't dare remove it until I got home yesterday). 

I arrived at the Chequers to find Oaky and Mr and Mrs Bill Bailey standing around looking cold.  Apparently they had turned left but the pub wasn't ready for them.  We were soon admitted by the friendly landlord and the tasting began.  The Chequers was offering Bishop Nick's Ridleys Rite and 1555.  Both were in excellent order and, in fact, the Ridleys Rite was declared the Quaffers' Choice even before we sampled the delights of the Spiritual Home's offerings.

By the time the main peloton arrived, the fire was going well and we were warming up nicely. 

Hotblack, the Hustler, the Strangler, Hernan Cortes, Nim (making a winter DIY 200 that bit harder by stopping with us for a few hours), Joergen, Sue, Martin, Fhoot, Bhoot, JenM, Stanners Kiwi and the two Stannettes, Psyclist, TCMR, Huggy's consort, Huggy junior, Mrs Jiber and Josser formed the remainder of the guests. 

More importantly, the Musky Pelt of Destiny, as worn by NikNack, was there. Even more importantly, we had the uncivil partnership ceremony party of Tomsk (presiding), OD (Matron of dishonour), Huggy (best man) and the Happy Couple (Carlos and Jem).

Oaky declared early on that this was the time when high jinks and nonsense were to be tolerated, the dinner at the Spiritual Home being a more formal and sombre occasion.  He was right about the first part at least.

The food all seemed to be good and even Joergen's complex dietary requirements seemed to be satisfied (summarised as lots of food but no mushrooms, green vegetables or salad but plenty of brown sauce and melted cheese).

You could feel the excitement in the room building towards the uncivil partnership ceremony.

Before we knew it, Tomsk was standing at the raised ceremony section and Bill Bailey was escorting Jem down the aisle while people tried to hum the wedding march.  In front of Tomsk, a very nervous Carlos was being reassured by the ever-attentive Huggy and OD was doing something that he must have thought was helpful - if careening around in a pink wig making excited noises can ever be helpful.  Tomsk led a lovely ceremony full of wise words, thoughtful counsel and stuff about Kebabs and bike cleaning.  Josser and I are still researching whether or not Tomsk has the actual powers vested in him to make the ceremony legal, our current view is a tentative yes.

I wasn't party to OD's meticulous planning of this event so I can only assume that he was concerned about filling in the time gap between the end of the ceremony and the pub's regulars banging on the door at 5pm while they waited for the pub to re-open when he asked Psyclist if he could run a four hour pub quiz marathon.  If that was the brief then it was fulfilled to perfection.  No sooner had Psyclist started the final round of his Pointless-inspired head to head finale than the landlord was begging us to leave so that he could let the unhappy regulars in through the door.  What the quiz lacked in brevity it made up for in the window to the world that is Psyclist's music collection.  If Middle of the Road has a centreline then Psyclist's eight track tape deck is perched right on top of that line.  I am not saying the music round, the 11 rounds we had on things that happened in the '70s or the specialist rounds on Rising Damp and on the life of Phil Collins had anything to do with the fact that the two teams in the final had the oldest average age but I will leave you to draw your own conclusions. 

Imagine my surprise when we left the pub and the peloton turned on to the very COR that I had found on the way there.  Not only that but we managed to go down the private bit necessitating scaling a five bar gate to rejoin the actual right of way.  Fortunately there were just enough of us to lift Fred over the gate after removing a couple of panniers (OD had brought full panniers to keep up the pretence that he had ever intended to camp).

The arrival at the Spiritual Home always marks an important point in the pre-Epiphany After Party festivities for it is at that point that we find out who is taking it seriously.  The most serious group are the overnight campers.  Slightly less serious but nevertheless committed are the overnight B&B stayers.  While the campers are trying to tie their bow ties in a dark tent, the other overnighters are taking a second shower just because they can.  Meanwhile everyone else is tucking into their Huffers and wondering why it is taking the serious people so long.  The outlier to these groupings is Joergen who has a team car that allows him to attend events, take full advantage of everything on offer and then go back to his own bed.

This year's campers were myself, Oaky and the Strangler.  The other overnighters were Mr and Mrs Bailey, the Happy Couple and OD who seemed not to need those panniers full of camping equipment after all.

The highlight of this part of the evening is normally the presentation of The Trophy but this year we had the cake cutting and the first dance to enjoy as well.  The Trophy itself was awarded to Jem who in another step forward for MEMWNS diversity becomes only the second ex-colonial to win it. 

As I said earlier, I was not involved in OD's meticulous planning of this event so I can only imagine what was going through his demented mind when Oaky said "I've got a good idea for the pre-Epiphany After Party dinner musical interlude".  What clearly wasn't going through his mind but should have been was "must resist at all costs".  Thus it was that a packet of Kazoos was distributed amongst our merry throng and that OD conducted the group through a range of numbers.  Each of them had precise cues as to when the kazoo playing should begin and OD had further instructions on pitch, loudness and tempo but within one bar they all sounded like the same cacophony of random feedback.  It was only by grace of the fact that Josser was heartily joining in that we weren't asked to leave immediately.  As it was, our end of the bar was soon cleared.

That was enough for everyone.  That is for everyone except the Kazoo Two.  Oaky and Joergen stockpiled as many kazoos as they could find and treated us to what seemed like a fortnight of trying to play Nellie the Elephant in the style of a tone deaf person who had never heard the song before.  Whenever Mrs Jiber approached Joergen and demanded that he hand over his kazoo, he would look slightly abashed before grinning like a naughty schoolboy and dragging another one out of his male stripper ensemble.  We always lose the less-dedicated attendees at some point after dinner but never so early as this time.  Those of us who suffered the full Kazoo Two experience will probably be exonerated from all charges when we explain to the judge why it was that we rammed a kazoo up some poor unsuspecting person's backside.

In our usual transition, Oaky and I moved on to fine wine after the Loyal Toast but not until after sampling Wibblers' Spiced Porter.  A porter that tastes of cloves and cold mulled wine might be just the ticket on a cold winter's evening after they have finished whatever it is that people with no sense of taste or smell get up to but not so much after a long day on beer and bikes. 

With the departure of the last of the amateurs and with the Baileys and OD taking an early night (possibly separately), it was time for the real purpose of the day to begin - the Epiphany After Party.  This year Oaky and I had given strict instructions - dress to impress and PBAB.  Clearly the Happy Couple and the Strangler consider themselves above trifles like rules but they were made welcome nevertheless.  Mrs Jiber thoughtfully provided what were apparently high tech warming solutions with authentic ethnic colourways and not foil backed tartan travel blankets as I had thought so we were nice and cosy as we sat down and commenced our champagne sampling.  This year's entries came from Aldi, Lidl and Tesco and all three were excellent.  The tasting was helped considerably by Oaky's choice of plastic coupes - last year's glass flutes had proved particularly challenging when they started sliding off the frozen table top.  The centrepiece of the After Party is always the stereo joke.  We only just managed it this year before Oaky lost the power of speech and became reduced to the odd squeak on his kazoo.  Beyond those snippets I can say no more, the first rule of the After Party is that we never talk about the After Party.  Actually, that is the third rule behind the dress code and not "forgetting" to bring a bottle.  Actually it is at least the fifth rule with don't fall backwards off the picnic table and no farting if it can be detected in an outdoor environment coming ahead of it as well.

After a mild night under canvas, it was time for the most serious part of the whole event - the brew off.  I am sorry to relate that this year's event was marred by series of atrocities the likes of which I hope never to see repeated.  For starters, I distinctly heard the removal of Oaky's Trangia strap when he retired to bed in clear contravention of rule 6.4(iii).  That was nothing compared to the Strangler though.  I still find it hard to believe much less talk about but he used a gas-powered MSR stove to make his tea.  As if that wasn't bad enough, he didn't even make tea, he made some sort of hot fruit thing that meant leaving a bag of coloured leaves in the water as he boiled it.  The final straw was down to my own school boy error.  Everybody knows that you never leave your stove unattended during a brew off.  It should have been no surprise therefore when I returned from a quick comfort break to find my stove no longer lit and Oaky standing by whistling innocently.  Our kettles still boiled at the same time so I declared it a dishonourable draw - the Strangler having been disqualified on several grounds already.

Thank you to OD, his quizmaster, the Happy Couple, the Musky Pelt and everyone else who made it such fun.  I except the Kazoo Two from any gratitude or praise, may their Kazoos burn in the big fire.

The pleasure of pain endured
To purify our misfit ways

Oscar's dad

  • Cheers!
Re: Mid-Essex yacf Epiphany Extravaganza (Saturday 5 January 2019)
« Reply #184 on: January 07, 2019, 05:04:46 pm »
The Bard is back!!!

jiberjaber

  • ... Fancy Pants \o/ ...
  • ACME S&M^2
Regards,

Joergen

Carlosfandango

  • Yours fragrantly.
Re: Mid-Essex yacf Epiphany Extravaganza (Saturday 5 January 2019)
« Reply #186 on: January 07, 2019, 07:44:49 pm »
:thumbsup:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_HYSvFp6_A

 That wasn't the ear bashing, head mashing racket we were hearing from the Kazoo Two on Saturday.

Oaky

  • ACME Fire Safety Officer
  • Audax Club Mid-Essex
    • MEMWNS Map
Re: Mid-Essex yacf Epiphany Extravaganza (Saturday 5 January 2019)
« Reply #187 on: January 07, 2019, 08:26:04 pm »
Completely independently,  it occurred to me sometime on the ride back to Witham that "Kazoo Two" (although probably spelled "KazU2") would make an excellent name for a duet performing U2 covers.  ("Kazoogoogoo" also has possibilities, but far less recognisable material.)
You are in a maze of twisty flat droves, all alike.

85.4 miles from Marsh Gibbon

Audax Club Mid-Essex Fire Safety Officer
http://acme.bike

jiberjaber

  • ... Fancy Pants \o/ ...
  • ACME S&M^2
Re: Mid-Essex yacf Epiphany Extravaganza (Saturday 5 January 2019)
« Reply #188 on: January 07, 2019, 09:02:45 pm »
Perhaps we should form a MEMWNS tribute band?
Regards,

Joergen

Carlosfandango

  • Yours fragrantly.
Re: Mid-Essex yacf Epiphany Extravaganza (Saturday 5 January 2019)
« Reply #189 on: January 07, 2019, 09:08:11 pm »
I forsee the band having more members than the audience.

Re: Mid-Essex yacf Epiphany Extravaganza (Saturday 5 January 2019)
« Reply #190 on: January 07, 2019, 09:28:34 pm »
I forsee the band having more members than the audience.

You foresee an audience?

Carlosfandango

  • Yours fragrantly.
Re: Mid-Essex yacf Epiphany Extravaganza (Saturday 5 January 2019)
« Reply #191 on: January 07, 2019, 10:17:44 pm »
Maybe a hungry, deaf dog sniffing for crumbs on the corpulent couple.

Oscar's dad

  • Cheers!
Re: Mid-Essex yacf Epiphany Extravaganza (Saturday 5 January 2019)
« Reply #192 on: January 08, 2019, 08:01:12 am »
I’m not sure we should be encouraging them.  This is the first time one of my good ideas has backfired so comprehensively.

Re: Mid-Essex yacf Epiphany Extravaganza (Saturday 5 January 2019)
« Reply #193 on: January 08, 2019, 08:11:05 am »
It was a great day out, so well organised OD. There were multiple facets to the day, and it allowed an extended time for socialising.

I would suggest nothing ‘musical’ is tried in the Compasses in future, but I wouldn’t let that detract from the day you’ve masterfully put together.

tedshred

  • ACME photographer in residence
Re: Mid-Essex yacf Epiphany Extravaganza (Saturday 5 January 2019)
« Reply #194 on: January 08, 2019, 10:43:53 am »
If only we could have had some time during the day at a private venue - a pub for instance.  That would have been perfect for the musical interlude.  No, strike that, a private venue for the Kazoo Two somewhere remote and outdoors would have been ideal.
The pleasure of pain endured
To purify our misfit ways

Jem

  • ACME HR and Diversity officer
Re: Mid-Essex yacf Epiphany Extravaganza (Saturday 5 January 2019)
« Reply #195 on: January 09, 2019, 12:52:19 pm »
If only we could have had some time during the day at a private venue - a pub for instance.  That would have been perfect for the musical interlude.  No, strike that, a private venue for the Kazoo Two somewhere remote and outdoors would have been ideal.

Yakutsk?  ;D