Author Topic: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists  (Read 217327 times)

Snugsy

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #75 on: August 22, 2008, 12:57:31 pm »
Last night: Riding along a narrow road with cars parked all down one side, rolling along behind a dithering Discovery with no room to pass it.

Some oik on the pavement shouts "Go on, pedal!"

Why? And how?And what for?

TheLurker

  • Goes well with magnolia.
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #76 on: August 22, 2008, 01:07:34 pm »
Well at least it was _moderately_ constructive advice.  :)
Τα πιο όμορφα ταξίδια γίνονται με τις δικές μας δυνάμεις - Φίλοι του Ποδήλατου

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #77 on: August 22, 2008, 01:28:01 pm »
Well the explaoits of our Cyclists at the games haven't been lost on even the most cranially challenged of Scousers.

On the way back from a ride with a clubmate two scallies in a Ford focus shouted, laughed and pointed "Bejings that way mate!"

They even pointed South-West ish, which wasn't too far off! After that incredible feat of brainpower and wit, they stopped at the lights and then tried to reverse into us swerving left and right as we approached. We nestled into the traffic and were glad they turned off.


Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #78 on: August 24, 2008, 11:06:47 am »
Going over Watership Down in a group a while back, we passed a pile of rust which might once have been a Vauxhall Nova complete with pimply youth, can of coke if one hand, MacRatburger in the other who yelled out 'Get A Life'

The group as one dissolved into laughter  :)
Late to this thread, but doesn't this one say all that needs saying?

I was told this story at the first cafe control at Bude on the 2005 Kernow & SW. With my beans on toast on the outdoor table in front of me, and the Sun beating down on a glorious sea view, it seemed all the funnier.
The old Legion hand told the recruit, "When things are bad, bleu, try not to make them worse, because it is very likely that they are bad enough already." -- Robert Ruark

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #79 on: August 24, 2008, 09:10:16 pm »
Im amazed how many swear words some people can fit in one sentence, although rather that than the people who pretend to push you over  ???

andygates

  • Peroxide Viking
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #80 on: August 24, 2008, 09:24:44 pm »
On the way back from a ride with a clubmate two scallies in a Ford focus shouted, laughed and pointed "Bejings that way mate!"

Classy!
It takes blood and guts to be this cool but I'm still just a cliché.
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Fixedwheelnut

  • "If it ain't fixed it's broken"
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Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #81 on: August 24, 2008, 10:10:07 pm »
I had "Get a fucking helmet you cnut" by a city type this evening. I just shouted "I got one where it really matters"



 How about "I only wear it riding you're Mum in case I fall off"  :thumbsup:

 Jacomus-rides-Gen will know the traffic lights I mean at the bottom of Shooters Hill by the 24hr chemist in Welling, around midnight on the way back from a pub run a chavNova puled up but had given me room so I gathered the driver had a bit of sense.
 [Drunk passenger one] leans out as we are stopped at the lights "I hate fu**in cyclists"

 [Me]  "Glad to hear it, I wouldn't want you fu**in me you ugly git" 
 to his mates "the chemists is still open I think his medication has worn off"  ;D
"Don't stop pedalling"

border-rider

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #82 on: August 24, 2008, 10:12:06 pm »
On the way back from a ride with a clubmate two scallies in a Ford focus shouted, laughed and pointed "Bejings that way mate!"

Classy!

I got

"are you cycling round the world again ?"

from a posh chap in a Merc with a puncture near Hay on Friday :)

Jacomus

  • My favourite gender neutral pronoun is comrade
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #83 on: August 25, 2008, 06:19:13 pm »
I had "Get a fucking helmet you cnut" by a city type this evening. I just shouted "I got one where it really matters"



 How about "I only wear it riding you're Mum in case I fall off"  :thumbsup:

 Jacomus-rides-Gen will know the traffic lights I mean at the bottom of Shooters Hill by the 24hr chemist in Welling, around midnight on the way back from a pub run a chavNova puled up but had given me room so I gathered the driver had a bit of sense.
 [Drunk passenger one] leans out as we are stopped at the lights "I hate fu**in cyclists"

 [Me]  "Glad to hear it, I wouldn't want you fu**in me you ugly git" 
 to his mates "the chemists is still open I think his medication has worn off"  ;D

That junction inspires the most confusingly unpatterned behaviour from drivers. One day everyone will let me cross the junction and pass, other days there will be abuse screamed, other times two cars will attempt to pass me though the junct!

I call it the Bermuda Triangle of my commute.
"The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity." Amelia Earhart

Basil

  • Um....err......oh bugger!
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Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #84 on: October 17, 2009, 07:28:23 pm »
Quote from: Kim
And remember that friends who organise things on Facebook aren't proper friends anyway.

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #85 on: October 17, 2009, 08:07:10 pm »
Riding near to the Tay Bridge (on the Fife side) when 4 of Dundee's finest in a silver Saxo pulled up alongside basically forcing and holding me  in to the kerb.  Front passenger Ned starts to shout some unintelligible type of abuse in my general direction.   Unconcerned and uninterested I pedalled on, they kept pace and the abuse continued so I reached down and took out my water bottle, took a drink and then squirted most of the contents at the front passenger Ned much to the amusement of the other 3 Neds.  Front passengers response was to vocally doubt my parentage.

At this point the driver started to make progress away and front passenger Ned, in a final act of defiance, sticks his arm out of the window presenting the universal one finger salute, however driver Ned had to decelerated because of a car that had just overtaken us, giving me the once in a life time opportunity to grab the extended middle digit and brake at the same time (brake leavers on my tops).  Needless to say passengers Ned’s scream as his arm was pulled backwards could be heard far and wide, much to the amusement to the 2 Neds in the rear of the vehicle.  Sadly I had to let go as the Saxo pulled away but I hope that passenger seat Ned had to visit the nursing staff in Ninewalls Hospital to had his finger relocated anything less would not be equitable.     
 

seventytwo

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #86 on: October 18, 2009, 09:56:28 pm »
Last night on the way home:
"Oi mate! Your wheels are going round!"

I had this last week!

Recognised it but still couldn't think of a witty retort quick enough, like "So's yer mum!". 

His mate followed up with "dickhead" to which I did wonder how they'd react if I stopped dead, pulled out the spanner from my bag and asked them to repeat it...  :demon:

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #87 on: October 19, 2009, 08:15:58 am »
Quote from: seventytwo link=topic=1629.msg450412#msg450412
 I did wonder how they'd react if I stopped dead, pulled out the spanner from my bag and asked them to repeat it...  :demon:
Some years ago, in  real foul mood, I stopped when a group of mid-teens on the way home from school (I supposed) made one of the more offensive comments.  I did not stop dead, just pulled into a lay-by and rested against the wall.  There was silence and nervous glances as the group walked up the road and past me.  Nobody said a thing.

frankly frankie

  • I kid you not
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Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #88 on: October 19, 2009, 09:57:26 am »
I did wonder how they'd react if I stopped dead, pulled out the spanner from my bag and asked them to repeat it...  :demon:

You remind me of an engineer at work who once threatened a colleague with an Allen key.

He didn't live that one down in a hurry.
"This is a complex subject, with a need for more than one highlighter pen."

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #89 on: October 19, 2009, 10:04:36 am »
LOL!  If it was a t-handled allen key, that would be a seriously dangerous weapon, if not more so than a knife.
Your Royal Charles are belong to us.

schlafsack

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #90 on: October 19, 2009, 12:55:58 pm »
LOL!  If it was a t-handled allen key, that would be a seriously dangerous weapon, if not more so than a knife.

Which is why I don't skate with one.  Always amazes me that people think it's a good idea to skate with one in a pocket.

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #91 on: October 19, 2009, 07:53:52 pm »
Where's Bards and his screwdriver?
"Yes please" said Squirrel "biscuits are our favourite things."

Kim

  • 2nd in the world
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #92 on: October 20, 2009, 12:30:14 am »
My one and only successful witty retort, on September's FNRttC:

Front seat passenger, leaning on folded arms out of window of kevvy hatchback, as they passed at maybe 12mph:  "Nice arse!"

Me: "Nice elbows!"
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

CrinklyLion

  • The one with devious, cake-pushing ways....
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #93 on: October 20, 2009, 04:05:41 am »
I am short, fat, female, ginger and ride a bike (slowly) - doomed, really.  I get a lot of oiks shouting at me :(  It doesn't usually bother me, other than the utter tossers who think it's funny to pass you really close whilst deliberately shouting/hitting the horn/massively revving the engine in a not-even-slightly-amusing attempt to startle you and make you wobble off.  It's only happened a few times, but it really, really makes me cross.

anth


seventytwo

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #95 on: October 20, 2009, 06:04:33 pm »
You remind me of an engineer at work who once threatened a colleague with an Allen key.

I'm not sure whether that's meant to put me down or the guy with the allen key!  Or both.


Gandalf

  • Each snowflake in an avalanche pleads not guilty
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #97 on: November 07, 2009, 07:32:34 am »
Apologies for the deep vein thread mining, but I heard a new one this week. 

Cycling home from work in the dark when I spotted a young male at the roadside waiting to cross the road.  As I passed him he struck up a chorus of 'Oh we're going to Ibiza'.  Very odd.

I can only assume it was a reference to my lighting, or possibly the flashing glow stick thingy on my new Night Vision Evo jacket.

Kim

  • 2nd in the world
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #98 on: March 25, 2010, 06:32:19 pm »
Okay, this one baffled me so much I thought it worth mentioning:

Teenage pedestrian, probably on his way home from school, clearly to me as I passed:  "Diarrhoea chipsticks!"

Even the mighty Urbandictionary could shed no light on what that's supposed to mean.  ???
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

Julian

  • samoture
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #99 on: March 25, 2010, 07:09:15 pm »
Was it a variation on "double wank and shit chips"