Author Topic: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists  (Read 230124 times)

Vince

  • Can't climb; won't climb
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1050 on: May 27, 2016, 12:25:15 pm »
Do fucking helmets look a bit like the Sydney opera house?
216km from Marsh Gibbon

Tim Hall

  • I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1051 on: May 27, 2016, 01:08:35 pm »
Strange thing happened just now. I've got a day off and just returned to my abode in the car.  I bumped into my next door neighbour, whom I've hardly met or spoken to.  He apologised to me for shouting at me the other day as he overtook in his white van.  Except I'm pretty sure it wasn't me.  The cyclist in questions pulled a foot out of his pedal and had a go at the driver for being on the phone, none of which I recall doing.

Bloodycyclists, they're all the same.
There are two ways you can get exercise out of a bicycle: you can
"overhaul" it, or you can ride it.  (Jerome K Jerome)

T42

  • Tea tank
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1052 on: May 27, 2016, 01:43:50 pm »
Do fucking helmets look a bit like the Sydney opera house?

Do they have compulsory opera in Oz?
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1053 on: May 28, 2016, 06:55:38 am »
Do fucking helmets look a bit like the Sydney opera house?

Do they have compulsory opera in Oz?

's called Neighbours, cobber

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1054 on: May 29, 2016, 02:46:44 pm »
"Pull a wheelie!"

I shouted this when we overtook a BMX bandit riding along with banging choons beating out of his little speaker. It was towards the end of the Dales Grimpeur, and he nearly caught us up on the drag towards Jervaulx Abbey. I could hear the music getting closer...

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1055 on: May 29, 2016, 04:00:49 pm »
Pedal faster I hear banjos

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1056 on: May 29, 2016, 07:27:24 pm »
"G'wan love, get up there!"

As I cycled *down* (in as much as it has a gradient at all) the Pershore Road through Stirchley.
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

Riggers

  • Mine's a pipe, er… pint!
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1057 on: June 06, 2016, 09:53:20 am »
"Not on it you C**t!" was very clearly enunciated, delivered at such a volume, that the lady driver's young daughter (in the rear seat) will have been forever burned into her brain.

Crossing the roundabout yesterday towards Steyning, to reach a back road (going up Bostal Hill) I spied this woman driver approaching the roundabout. I could see her looking down at her phone, and could have let it pass but, no, I thought, and held my hand up to my ear to symbolise being on the phone, at her.

She could have just acknowledged it, held her hand up, and all would have been fine. Instead, she verbalised the nuance of 'not actually being ON the phone, merely being DISTRACTED by it'.

I just had to laugh at the absurdity of it. What a foul and disgusting human being who won't take responsibility for their actions. There's a lot of them out there.
Certainly never seen cycling south of Sussex

fuzzy (retd.) AAGE

  • SWMBO's Toy Boy.
  • Apprentice Leathery Old Git
    • The Secret Cyclist blog
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1058 on: June 17, 2016, 02:08:30 pm »
As I rode up The Causeway, Marlow last night, heading home, a group of 'lads' walking in the opposite direction celebrating the Ingerland win. One of them leaps into the road waving his arms around and drunkenly exclaims "You got a flibble wibble sommat or other!"

I had by now come to a halt so said to his mates "Look after him, his fuckwit gland has gone hyperactive" and then rode off to laughter from his mates and a questioning, confused "Whadyoosay?Didhecallmeafuckwit" from the incoherent one.
Quote from: tatanab
The mark of a true cyclist - prepared to try anything on offer

If it ain't bad for you it ain't worth doing

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1059 on: June 17, 2016, 02:12:08 pm »
Great line. Was that rehearsed or spur of the moment ?
Rust never sleeps

fuzzy (retd.) AAGE

  • SWMBO's Toy Boy.
  • Apprentice Leathery Old Git
    • The Secret Cyclist blog
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1060 on: June 17, 2016, 04:08:50 pm »
A spur of the moment thing. I have absolutely no idea where it came from. He made like an idiot and there it was.

Next time something like that happens I will be struggling for a comeback :-\
Quote from: tatanab
The mark of a true cyclist - prepared to try anything on offer

If it ain't bad for you it ain't worth doing

caerau

  • SR x 3 - PBP fail but 1090 km - hey - not too bad
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1061 on: June 17, 2016, 04:40:00 pm »
Meh, use it again, just don't tell us again and make out it was original ;)
It's a reverse Elvis thing.

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1062 on: June 17, 2016, 06:26:25 pm »
"Get out of the road" dopplered some woman from behind the wheel of her passing car. I was in the middle of the road. Hand out and waiting to turn right.

Croydonia. A special place for special people.
!nataS pihsroW

Vince

  • Can't climb; won't climb
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1063 on: June 18, 2016, 08:03:42 pm »
'Faster, faster' shouted at me as I struggled up a steep hill in the Forest of Dean... approaching a give way!
216km from Marsh Gibbon

Steph

  • Fast. Fast and bulbous. But fluffy.
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1064 on: June 19, 2016, 06:54:33 pm »
On the way out to Tesco's today, car passing in opposite direction.

"Nice tits!"

Somewhat bemused by that one, but, well, I'm happy with them...
Mae angen arnaf i byw, a fe fydda'i

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1065 on: June 21, 2016, 02:25:27 pm »
On the back way from Haughton to Seighford this morning were a pair of blokes working on some overhanging trees...chainsaws, ear defenders, high viz, helmets: the lot.

So, as they were working in the middle of the lane, I stopped and called out to ask to be allowed to make progress. No reply. So, I asked again this time a little louder. Still no reply. Now almost shouting, I still didn't get a reply. I suppose the human voice is no match for a fully powered up chain saw!

Eventually one of the blokes sees me and waved me by.... making the comment as I went by that: "You should have rung your bell"

Like  :facepalm:
Cats to the left of me, cats to the right of me, cats sitting on my keyboard making far more sense than I do.

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1066 on: June 21, 2016, 02:31:46 pm »
'mate, how do I get to corby??'  as I'm heading through central cambridge at 6 this morning.

must have been a good night out.

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1067 on: June 21, 2016, 10:09:28 pm »
did he have a pressing engagement?

Andrij

  • Андрій
  • Ερασιτεχνικός μισάνθρωπος
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1068 on: June 22, 2016, 08:19:00 am »
 ::-)



Damn, wish I had thought of that.
;D  Andrij.  I pronounce you Complete and Utter GIT   :thumbsup:

T42

  • Tea tank
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1069 on: June 22, 2016, 10:28:33 am »
Crisp rejoinder.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1070 on: July 06, 2016, 10:12:40 pm »
"Oi, you look like Bruce Willis" from what appeared to be a recent graduate of Croydon's College for Feminine Refinement and Decorum. Sadly I think she took my 'Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker' in the wrong spirit. Possibly her parents hadn't even been conceived when they made Die Hard. Maybe her grandparents, come to think of it, it is Croydon.

Still, that's quite flattering. Most days I look like a Moby Action Toy, so I figured it's a step-up to be an all action hero. So I quite proudly related this to my wife earlier as she headed out to assault passers-by with her magic trumpet thing.

"Yes, that's because you're both old and bald," she cheerfully muttered.

I'm changing the locks before she gets back.
!nataS pihsroW

clarion

  • Tyke
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1071 on: July 26, 2016, 01:57:16 pm »
did he have a pressing engagement?
Creased me up ;D
Getting there...

Steph

  • Fast. Fast and bulbous. But fluffy.
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1072 on: July 26, 2016, 03:20:23 pm »
did he have a pressing engagement?
Creased me up ;D

I've trousered that one for later use.
Mae angen arnaf i byw, a fe fydda'i

clarion

  • Tyke
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1073 on: July 27, 2016, 10:01:01 am »
Pleats do!
Getting there...

clarion

  • Tyke
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1074 on: July 27, 2016, 10:08:35 am »
I had a strange one last night as I left work.  There is a gang o'lads who use the long driveway at this former hospital for practicing wheelies and generally pratting about on bikes and having fun :o  *clutches pearls* WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN etc...

Any way, last night, they were just coming up the road as I left.  As they streamed past on their BMXs and MTBs, and I rode the other way on my folder, one lad called out 'Bikelife!' and smiled. 
Getting there...