Author Topic: Stopping smoking: when?  (Read 39135 times)

Tiger

Re: Stopping smoking: when?
« Reply #50 on: July 16, 2008, 05:51:59 pm »
It was only when I stopped that I realised that smokers smell. They smell of old fags, and their clothes smell, their hair smells, and their breath smells. 

If you smoke you decide not to bother about being smelly.  I could not smoke now because I never want to be smelly like that again - it is thoughtless and lacks dignity - like failing to wash.

To be a smoker is also increasingly to signal oneself as the impressionable dupe of the tobacco marketing companies, and not in control of ones life. It is no coincidence that smokers are disproportionately boozers, criminals, poorly educated, or just poor. Is that the profile you want to signal?

When you stop you will take control of another aspect of your life and gain a bit more self respect. That alone is reason enough to do it.

 

Re: Stopping smoking: when?
« Reply #51 on: July 16, 2008, 06:09:17 pm »
Lets face it - one never tires of the Nelson Munce moment whenever one passes a group of damp, sad faced smokers coughing their way through a couple of tabs outside a pub  ;D. God I'm glad I stopped before all that kicked off...

CathH

Re: Stopping smoking: when?
« Reply #52 on: July 16, 2008, 07:08:11 pm »
I wonder if there are any "shock" programmes out there?  You're asking for the gore, Sarge, and I can remember why you want that.  (I quit only 4 years ago.)  We don't get confronted with the hideous results of smoking-related diseases. do we?  It would help if we could be.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Stopping smoking: when?
« Reply #53 on: July 16, 2008, 07:22:15 pm »
Losing your sex life isn't dramatic; it's just tragic in a quiet, personal way.
Imagine the scene: you are in a quiet room, having had a lovely meal earlier with the partner of your dreams. You are happy and relaxed but a bit nervous.
Small amounts of wine flow freely and the conversation becomes more intimate.
Kissing commences and becomes passionate.
Some groping starts under the clothes, which seem to disappear.

Then there is the realisation that things have not risen to the occasion.
Disappointment turns into frustration.

The matter is not discussed again...

Re: Stopping smoking: when?
« Reply #54 on: July 16, 2008, 07:33:12 pm »
Losing your sex life isn't dramatic; it's just tragic in a quiet, personal way.

For a minute I thought we were talking about marriage not impotence.
"Yes please" said Squirrel "biscuits are our favourite things."

goatpebble

Re: Stopping smoking: when?
« Reply #55 on: July 16, 2008, 07:37:36 pm »
Before I say anything, I will admit to occasionally lapsing, AND LAPSING IS DANGEROUS!

However, the lapses are getting less frequent. A packet of ten when smoking company is expected.

Here are some thoughts. No great wisdom, because I don't have that sort of brain.

A previous post suggested you look at any unhappiness. I strongly agree.

Cultivate the most important non-smoking friendships you have, and any shared activities that rule out smoking. For me it's long Alpine treks with my best mate, who gave up 5 years ago, and has not once been tempted. He was an all day smoker, so this was quite something. Think of climbing Ben Nevis everyday for three weeks, with 15kgs on your back, and then think of altitudes more than twice as high. That's a great incentive.

I have chosen my most feared hills as an hour ride before and after work. I am still very slow, but it sure reduces the temptation, and makes me feel that not smoking means new freedom.

I think that's the best point I can make. To be free of smoking means possibilities. Health means freedom, and smoking means exactly the opposite.

ps.  my dear helly, yes, my sex life is quietly and tragically non-existent. Maybe I need more mountain walks...

 ::-)




Re: Stopping smoking: when?
« Reply #56 on: July 16, 2008, 07:48:30 pm »
Normal, appropriate stimuli elicit no response.

*Gulp*

The reality is as a nurse who has mainly worked in cardiac / thoracic surgery and cardiology, I have had more than enough evidence of the possible consequences. That's the astonishing thing about it.

When you stop you will take control of another aspect of your life and gain a bit more self respect. That alone is reason enough to do it.

I think that (and other not dissimilar thoughts above) is getting uncomfortably close to the mark. [Edit: in that self-esteem has a big part to play in this]

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Stopping smoking: when?
« Reply #57 on: July 16, 2008, 08:31:36 pm »
Normal, appropriate stimuli elicit no response.

*Gulp*



This issue is seldom discussed, for no good reason.
<rantlet>
There is no shortage of sex in The Meeja but little discussion of impotence and its relation to smoking. If boys knew at 15 that smoking could kill their sex life by 40, they might take heed.
<rantlet>

Regulator

  • That's Councillor Regulator to you...
Re: Stopping smoking: when?
« Reply #58 on: July 17, 2008, 08:52:45 am »
Shall we give up together?

We could be 'giving up buddies'.  :thumbsup:
Quote from: clarion
I completely agree with Reg.

Green Party Councillor

Re: Stopping smoking: when?
« Reply #59 on: July 17, 2008, 08:58:36 am »
Good luck Sarge.

However, the lapses are getting less frequent. A packet of ten when smoking company is expected.

This is what I've done too - a pack of tobacco when on hoilday, or when out for the night.  But why?  What is it about company and drinking that makes you want a cigarette?  I used to think that I liked cigarettes, but I've now realised that I don't.  There's nothing cool, or sexy, or fun about killing yourself.  So I'm quitting again - as of yesterday.

Re: Stopping smoking: when?
« Reply #60 on: July 17, 2008, 08:59:40 am »
Now, he'd had a letter from his consultant vascular surgeon telling him that he had a complete occlusion

My grand dad had this, but in the chest I believe; it caused three heart failures in close succession over the years, before it was properly diagnosed and he then had a massive surgery. He survived, packed smoking and lived happily for another 20 years. He put a bit on weight, but kept things balanced through a lot of walking when he could.
Frenchie - Train à Grande Vitesse

Re: Stopping smoking: when?
« Reply #61 on: July 17, 2008, 09:05:57 am »
I am having trouble conceiving of myself as someone who doesn't smoke. I see my life as being rather empty without the pleasure of a few fags during the day.
Shall we give up together?

We could be 'giving up buddies'.  :thumbsup:

Might be an idea Greg.

Charlotte

  • Dissolute libertine
  • Here's to ol' D.H. Lawrence...
    • charlottebarnes.co.uk
Re: Stopping smoking: when?
« Reply #62 on: July 17, 2008, 09:24:30 am »
Cigarettes are the most evil, pernicious, nasty little bastards to give up.  Quite how a small paper tube containing some shredded leaves can have quite such a hold over us, I never did work out.

It's not a physical thing, that's for sure.  I mean; within 48 hours or so, you're through the physical cravings and withdrawl.  And that's only if you're a heavy smoker.  If you're just the kind who smokes a few in the evenings, you could stop with hardly any physical cravings at all.

So if it's not the biological stuff that's causing dependence, what in the hell is it?  I reckon it was because I needed it for other reasons and I think you've hit it on the head, Pluck:

I am having trouble conceiving of myself as someone who doesn't smoke.

Y'see, us smokey people (I quit five years ago) are rebels, aren't we?  Bugger what people say, we like a crafty ciggie and it's not really going to harm us, is it?

We're part of a subculture.  We're a bit dangerous.  We're people who don't give a fuck.  Smoking says something about how we wish others to see us.  It helps us define who we are.

James Dean in his leather Jacket. 



Marlene Dietrich, looking elegant.



Then there's Bogey.  He's The Man, right?



Then you see something like this:




My advice:  Redefine who you are.
Commercial, Editorial and PR Photographer - www.charlottebarnes.co.uk

Re: Stopping smoking: when?
« Reply #63 on: July 17, 2008, 10:22:10 am »
Mate, buddy, there’s some really good advice being offered on this thread.
I can especially identify with the words of Tiger and Charlotte.
Smokers stink. They pollute my space. I deeply resent the fact that the lass upstairs from me has started smoking and I can smell it in my bedroom.

FWIW here’s my 2p’s worth.
I stopped because I found it to be incompatible with another activity I’d recently taken up – cycling.
Alan Carr’s book helped – I liked the idea of smoking myself stupid while I gave up.
It wasn’t plain sailing.
I didn’t tell anyone I was stopping.
There were moments when I crumbled and HAD TO GO OUT AND GET SOME BACCY RIGHT NOW.
Smoked the lot and then hated myself for my weakness.
From buying the bike to my last tab was about two and a half months.
I’d had tried and failed to stop many, many times before – this time it worked, I can’t pinpoint the reason why.
Haven’t had the slightest urge to have one since.
The only thing which continues to puzzle me is why in god’s name I hadn’t done this sooner.

Once you have stopped, the improvements you will find in your health and performance, will astonish you.
And you’ll notice those changes fairly quickly – not so much the long term reward you mentioned.
You ride regularly and have the all kit to monitor where you are and tell you how quickly you got there – you’ll soon see the difference. Promise.

Now I’m worried that I’ll be really struggling to keep up with you


Re: Stopping smoking: when?
« Reply #64 on: July 17, 2008, 10:29:14 am »
I read up a lot about this in an attempt to understand what my wife was going through when she tried to quit.

There's about a 48hour peak when you crave nicotine, that's for sure, but there's another evil one about 3 weeks later that also hits and I can't for the life of me remember where I read this and what it concerns, but essentially, that's when the peak cravings hit and this is when most people tryingto give up fail.

I think that the best advice I can give is to take someone who knows you well and get them to tell you when you tend to reach for a cigarette. for my wife it was when she was on the phone. she could go all day without smoking, then smoke 5 over the course of a long phone call. That's not a need, that's a habit. Since she used to smoke outdoors, the answer was to take the calls indoors.... It's little things like that that can make a big difference over time.


Re: Stopping smoking: when?
« Reply #65 on: July 17, 2008, 10:38:11 am »
Something else I found strangely liberating. I realised it's not our god given right to be happy all the time. Maybe I needed to grow up a bit to realise that. Once I faced up to the fact I was going to be miserable for a while, I was able to face up to it more easily.

We joke about it in the family now. I was a miserable fucker for months while I was being reborn as an ex-smoker. The kids would whisper amongst themselves - "FFS keep clear of Dad - he's got a major cob on today...".

But now I'm happy and jolly, as well as sweet smelling  :thumbsup:.

Re: Stopping smoking: when?
« Reply #66 on: July 17, 2008, 10:52:41 am »
This is a great thread.

Thinking on, I think smoking is but one of many things I need to sort out in my life.

Quote
Redefine who you are

I think that is just what would be needed, Charlotte.


woollypigs

  • Mr Peli
    • woollypigs
Re: Stopping smoking: when?
« Reply #67 on: July 17, 2008, 05:11:59 pm »
Wen a mate of mine stopped, he started to drink faster and more when in the pub and and at home he was eating more, like snacks etc. He told me the reason for this was not the craving/addiction but something to do with his hands.

Valiant

  • aka Sam
    • Radiance Audio
Re: Stopping smoking: when?
« Reply #68 on: July 17, 2008, 05:15:13 pm »
Aye you need to substitute it for something. Any projects need doing around the house? Any hobbies besides cycling?
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

Support Equilibrium

Tiger

Re: Stopping smoking: when?
« Reply #69 on: July 17, 2008, 05:24:57 pm »
Just typed this and deleted - bah.

I once did research on what actually makes smoking so addictive.

Start with the action - power of fire, plus controlled inhalation (taking something deep inside), and chemical hit. Add imagery of admired confident people, and seduction of packs/marketing legitimisation.

Powerful mix.

A fag functions as an ignition/reinforcement of identity and being. Through the dauy a punctuation point, restarting the sense of self in ones desired identity (as opposed to the imposed external reality). Fag break at work = ready to tackle the task, re-invigorated in self etc.

Many smokers don't feel alive at all until after the first fag of the day.  Until then they are in limbo. A smoker 'waiting' will feel 'active/alive' if tehy can smoke and 'passive/reduced' if they can't.

In a social context - when you need to be yourself to teh max - a fag really helps to 'centre/establish' yourself - even moreso if combined with drink = powerful sense of self validation.

The fag works like a little man on your shoulder whispering in your ear - 'you are OK, you exist, you are active, alive, attractive etc etc'. A sort of magic mirror.  For the downtrodden, the insecure, the suggestible, the hopeless, the fearful it is a powerful magic.






In return however the little man steals your life.

To escape you need to see a new you. One that does not need or believe the little man.

Re: Stopping smoking: when?
« Reply #70 on: July 17, 2008, 08:16:08 pm »
Read this ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ again S.
It's true.

Move on.

Maladict

Re: Stopping smoking: when?
« Reply #71 on: July 17, 2008, 08:20:08 pm »
Can I give up being untidy?

Re: Stopping smoking: when?
« Reply #72 on: July 17, 2008, 08:26:27 pm »
Read this ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ again S.
It's true.

Move on.

I'm reading it.

Is all true.

Rapples

Re: Stopping smoking: when?
« Reply #73 on: July 17, 2008, 08:32:25 pm »
Wen a mate of mine stopped, he started to drink faster and more when in the pub and and at home he was eating more, like snacks etc. He told me the reason for this was not the craving/addiction but something to do with his hands.

This is so true!!

I used to play snooker once a week when I gave up.  It took me 3 weeks to work out why I was getting so pissed every time I played snooker.

Take shot miss - drag on fag

Take shot miss - big gulp of beer :o

Re: Stopping smoking: when?
« Reply #74 on: July 17, 2008, 08:33:18 pm »
Jurek, was just thinkin', could you declare an amnesty on the topic for the night of the Dunwich?  :P

I promise to smoke downwind.