Author Topic: If a tree falls in the wind, and there is no cyclist to be crushed...  (Read 3049 times)

tonycollinet

  • No Longer a western province of Númenor
Does it make a sound?

Or - as I was cycling home last night looking nervously% at the trees as I passed*, I was wondering - if one falls does it crack and fall slowly as it tears apart giving a vulnerable cyclist time to take evasive action - or does it just thud down like 10 tons of bricks?

Does anyone know?

*one section being particularly nervous under 1/2 mile of tree tunnel.
%I know - an irrational fear of falling trees compared to the (probably) much higher risk of bad drivers that I no longer worry about.

Graeme

  • BalancingOnTwoWheels
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Re: If a tree falls in the wind, and there is no cyclist to be crushed...
« Reply #1 on: October 17, 2017, 08:16:06 am »
[IME]

Yes, they make an almighty noise... But a decent woolly hat can mask this.

If you hear a cracking sound you have time to take evasive action. If you don't hear it, the next thing you know is pain. Wind direction influences which air ambulance you'll get and which side of the country you go to hospital.

Trees do fall. This is not an irrational fear - but vigilance is your friend.

[/IME]
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gibbo

  • Riding for fun, cake and beer.
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Re: If a tree falls in the wind, and there is no cyclist to be crushed...
« Reply #2 on: October 17, 2017, 08:44:10 am »
I was on a golf course once, no wind to speak of, when I heard a cracking/ splintering noise where this tree almost instantaneously split in two. I think if I have been anywhere near it I wouldn't have been able to outrun it as it happened so quickly.
Gibbo.

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: If a tree falls in the wind, and there is no cyclist to be crushed...
« Reply #3 on: October 17, 2017, 09:37:39 am »
You need to think this through, you could run from the tree straight into the grip of a bear.
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: If a tree falls in the wind, and there is no cyclist to be crushed...
« Reply #4 on: October 17, 2017, 09:44:02 am »
Or a bear could be hanging onto the branch and both could fall right on top of you. This is my big fear.
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T42

  • Old fool in a hurry
Re: If a tree falls in the wind, and there is no cyclist to be crushed...
« Reply #5 on: October 17, 2017, 10:08:38 am »
Knowing where it's going to fall is the hard bit.  After the initial crack - if there is one, since rather than snapping off it might just be pushed over - the crackling echoes around quite a bit. You can tell the general direction but that's about all, so you might put a spurt on and ride in under it.
I dare eat all that may become a man.

But hold the oysters.

Graeme

  • BalancingOnTwoWheels
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Re: If a tree falls in the wind, and there is no cyclist to be crushed...
« Reply #6 on: October 17, 2017, 10:19:55 am »
You need to think this through, you could run from the tree straight into the grip of a bear.

Heck! I didn't think of that. Wasn't there a film documentary recently about Sharknados. What if the tree is full of sharks?
37. Because travel is the finest educational system of all; and cycling the cheapest, easiest, and most educational means of travel - Kuklos' 39 Articles

Pingu

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Re: If a tree falls in the wind, and there is no cyclist to be crushed...
« Reply #7 on: October 17, 2017, 10:25:42 am »
Bears push down trees to get at the ripe sharks.

PaulF

  • "World's Scariest Barman"
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Re: If a tree falls in the wind, and there is no cyclist to be crushed...
« Reply #8 on: October 17, 2017, 10:41:23 am »
In which case you should be OK as sharks taste better, to bears at least, than cyclists

handcyclist

  • watch for my signal
Re: If a tree falls in the wind, and there is no cyclist to be crushed...
« Reply #9 on: October 17, 2017, 10:59:13 am »
In which case you should be OK as sharks taste better, to bears at least, than cyclists

If there haven't been ranodomized blind control trials then I'm sorry, but I cannot be swayed by this statement.
Doubt is is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: If a tree falls in the wind, and there is no cyclist to be crushed...
« Reply #10 on: October 17, 2017, 11:21:19 am »
You need to think this through, you could run from the tree straight into the grip of a bear.

Heck! I didn't think of that. Wasn't there a film documentary recently about Sharknados. What if the tree is full of sharks?

Bears are better than sharks on dry land. So no need to worry about sharks in trees.
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

Re: If a tree falls in the wind, and there is no cyclist to be crushed...
« Reply #11 on: October 17, 2017, 11:28:36 am »
All this talk of bears and sharks is missing the real danger. Killer squirrels.
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PaulF

  • "World's Scariest Barman"
  • It's only impossible if you stop to think about it
Re: If a tree falls in the wind, and there is no cyclist to be crushed...
« Reply #12 on: October 17, 2017, 11:36:44 am »
In which case you should be OK as sharks taste better, to bears at least, than cyclists

If there haven't been ranodomized blind control trials then I'm sorry, but I cannot be swayed by this statement.

Come on! That sort of talk undermines the whole fabric of the internet. If we can't allow unsubstantiated statements to be accepted as fact then the whole thing will collapse

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: If a tree falls in the wind, and there is no cyclist to be crushed...
« Reply #13 on: October 17, 2017, 11:49:47 am »
Windblown sharks are the main reason Americans believe so sincerely in the right to arm bears. All that punching them on the snout (the sharks, not for the love of god, the bears) doesn't work, not in a tree - save that for the squirrels. That said, there's no guarantee that will dissuade a killer squirrel in a blood rage either. Sometimes you just have to use PowerPoint, it's the only way to be sure.
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Re: If a tree falls in the wind, and there is no cyclist to be crushed...
« Reply #14 on: October 17, 2017, 12:31:29 pm »
Windblown sharks are the main reason Americans believe so sincerely in the right to arm bears. All that punching them on the snout (the sharks, not for the love of god, the bears) doesn't work, not in a tree - save that for the squirrels. That said, there's no guarantee that will dissuade a killer squirrel in a blood rage either.

I assume from the last sentence that the advice is to save one's punching of the w/b sharks so there are enough punches to punch the k. squirrel(s) rather than not to waste punches on w/b sharks because the k.squirrels will do it for you. But I'd like clarification, and rather urgently please.

Kim

  • An appetite for the epic, but no real stamina
Re: If a tree falls in the wind, and there is no cyclist to be crushed...
« Reply #15 on: October 17, 2017, 12:52:52 pm »
If a tree (or possibly a squirrel) chucks a conker at a passing recumbentist's shin, it makes a sound that shouldn't be repeated in polite company.
Watching the TV without subtitles is like riding up a hill without using the gears :)

Eccentrica Gallumbits

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Re: If a tree falls in the wind, and there is no cyclist to be crushed...
« Reply #16 on: October 17, 2017, 12:53:05 pm »
You need to think this through, you could run from the tree straight into the grip of a bear.

Heck! I didn't think of that. Wasn't there a film documentary recently about Sharknados. What if the tree is full of sharks?
I think it's something to do with footprints in the custard.
My feminist marxist dialectic brings all the boys to the yard.


Graeme

  • BalancingOnTwoWheels
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Re: If a tree falls in the wind, and there is no cyclist to be crushed...
« Reply #17 on: October 17, 2017, 01:07:27 pm »
If a tree (or possibly a squirrel) chucks a conker at a passing recumbentist's shin, it makes a sound that shouldn't be repeated in polite company.

Those k. squirrels should be careful, if the sharks are nesting they may accidently throw a shark egg and environmentalists will be furious. Not to mention the sharks.
37. Because travel is the finest educational system of all; and cycling the cheapest, easiest, and most educational means of travel - Kuklos' 39 Articles

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: If a tree falls in the wind, and there is no cyclist to be crushed...
« Reply #18 on: October 17, 2017, 01:33:43 pm »
Windblown sharks are the main reason Americans believe so sincerely in the right to arm bears. All that punching them on the snout (the sharks, not for the love of god, the bears) doesn't work, not in a tree - save that for the squirrels. That said, there's no guarantee that will dissuade a killer squirrel in a blood rage either.

I assume from the last sentence that the advice is to save one's punching of the w/b sharks so there are enough punches to punch the k. squirrel(s) rather than not to waste punches on w/b sharks because the k.squirrels will do it for you. But I'd like clarification, and rather urgently please.

k.squirrels have evolved to punch w/b.sharks, of course. It's been a vital strategy given that both species are widely prevalent in our woodlands and leads to a balance. This is why, as you stroll through the woods, you only notice the occasional shark in the trees. This is useful, as you can save your attention for the bears.
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Re: If a tree falls in the wind, and there is no cyclist to be crushed...
« Reply #19 on: October 17, 2017, 03:35:12 pm »
Ta

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
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Re: If a tree falls in the wind, and there is no cyclist to be crushed...
« Reply #20 on: October 17, 2017, 04:26:46 pm »
Trees, eh?  You can't trust 'em.  Never mind the BEARs and the sharks and the sqrls with guns, trees get made into wardrobes and wardrobes are, as any fule kno, the natural habitat of dildo clowns.
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spesh

  • Treason's Greetings!
Re: If a tree falls in the wind, and there is no cyclist to be crushed...
« Reply #21 on: October 17, 2017, 04:41:46 pm »
Sharks DGAF about bears, they're more concerned about alligators. ;)

https://gizmodo.com/scientists-document-opportunistic-alligators-eating-sha-1819517272
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tonycollinet

  • No Longer a western province of Númenor
Re: If a tree falls in the wind, and there is no cyclist to be crushed...
« Reply #22 on: October 17, 2017, 06:53:36 pm »
OK from serious to surreal in 3 posts. What have I learned?

1 - if a tree is going to land on you, there's pretty much nothing you can do, and you are screwed.

2 - trees are less of a worry than the bears inside them.

3 - bears are almost certainly less of a worry than flying sharks.

4 - which are in turn less of a worry than squirrels

5 - YACF is pathologically incapable of taking anything seriously - including imminent DETH from rampaging flocks of killer trees.

That about it? :D

Re: If a tree falls in the wind, and there is no cyclist to be crushed...
« Reply #23 on: October 17, 2017, 06:57:27 pm »
Sharks DGAF about bears, they're more concerned about alligators. ;)

https://gizmodo.com/scientists-document-opportunistic-alligators-eating-sha-1819517272

$h!t!
If the 'gators have guns and get organised, we're in serious trouble.
Punch-on-nose-no-helpee.

Re: If a tree falls in the wind, and there is no cyclist to be crushed...
« Reply #24 on: October 17, 2017, 07:45:27 pm »
OK from serious to surreal in 3 posts. What have I learned?

1 - if a tree is going to land on you, there's pretty much nothing you can do, and you are screwed.

2 - trees are less of a worry than the bears inside them.

3 - bears are almost certainly less of a worry than flying sharks.

4 - which are in turn less of a worry than squirrels

5 - YACF is pathologically incapable of taking anything seriously - including imminent DETH from rampaging flocks of killer trees.

That about it? :D

You were serious?  You're on the wrong forum.