Author Topic: Tour de France 2018  (Read 14023 times)

T42

  • Old fool in a hurry
Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #250 on: July 11, 2018, 01:26:24 pm »
I've noticed that every year there's a new term that gets bandied about by the commentators and sends me scurrying to look it up. A couple of years back it was coup de bordure; this year it's roublardise - guile - that's bouncing around. 
I dare eat all that may become a man.

But hold the oysters.

Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #251 on: July 11, 2018, 01:32:29 pm »
Boulting - whoever he is - sounds like a right twat. I'm glad we just have Jalabert and A.N. Other in the studio, with le Petit Thomas on the motorbike up front and another bod called Thierry or Nicolas or summat at the back.

I like Ned. When he first started, he was completely clueless about cycling, but after a good ten years in the job, he is... marginally less clueless now. He's good for ITV because a large chunk of its audience will be people who don't follow pro cycling outside the Tour, so he will often ask the idiotic questions they want to ask - such as why doesn't Sagan/Cav ever win the yellow jersey?

I started following pro cycling on Channel 4 in the 80s when Gary Imlach was just as clueless as Ned. But he's been doing it so long now that he's acquired enough knowledge to pass for someone who knows what they're talking about.

I learnt most of what I know about pro cycling from Liggett and Sherwen's commentary, which explains why I'm still clueless.
One of the advantages of being deaf and the subtitles being so poor if that I don't have to worry about how bad the commentator is because I only get to see one word in 5 and hear one word in 50 ;D
Sorting my life out, one shed at a time.

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #252 on: July 11, 2018, 01:37:34 pm »
I'm still catching up on the recording. Crazy P Sagan's reaction to TV's D Friebe asking what he thought about Matthews' abandoning the race was priceless.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

T42

  • Old fool in a hurry
Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #253 on: July 11, 2018, 02:31:11 pm »
Chavvers not using his big pulley today.

Gilbert just taken to the ferns.
I dare eat all that may become a man.

But hold the oysters.

Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #254 on: July 11, 2018, 02:55:41 pm »
Wrong team and rider.

It was Gesbert, not Gilbert.

Gesbert is a nobody on a wildcard team (Fortuneo-Samsic). Gilbert is QS.

Anyway, Cav won't finish the Tour, let alone win a stage.

Porkins

  • Formerly Nick H. And a long time ago etc, Eurostar
Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #255 on: July 11, 2018, 02:58:06 pm »
Chavvers not using his big pulley today.
How strange. Maybe he sees it as a weight penalty on a climbing day.

LittleWheelsandBig

  • Whimsy Rider
Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #256 on: July 11, 2018, 03:05:57 pm »
Maybe the cheque bounced.
Wheel meet again, don't know where, don't know when...

Porkins

  • Formerly Nick H. And a long time ago etc, Eurostar
Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #257 on: July 11, 2018, 03:23:04 pm »
If he was anyone important he'd have a gold one.


T42

  • Old fool in a hurry
Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #258 on: July 11, 2018, 04:34:13 pm »
Wrong team and rider.

It was Gesbert, not Gilbert.

Didn't see it, just heard it.
I dare eat all that may become a man.

But hold the oysters.

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #259 on: July 11, 2018, 05:28:50 pm »
Stage 5: Lorient > Quimper

G Imlach:O hai! TV's ect! Football boo l'Equipe boo! Wooden D Friebe, interviews!
Riders (Various):Hills GV Avermaet P Gilbert J Alaphilippe hills!
NC Boardman:O hai ect! G Thomas! Wind!
N Boulting:O hai! 20 winners 2da Brittany B Hinault!
SD Millar:O hai! Hoam ov French cycling! Lorient U-boat bomb bang boom beware!
N Boulting:France iz absolutely revelling in teh sheer Frenchness ov being French 2da*!
Omnes:What. Did. He. Just. Say?
N Boulting:TD Gendt break S ["Poisonous term" - Ed.]anel?
SD Millar:TD Gendt!
M Burghardt:O hai! I shall coff avoid crashing coff coff 2da coff bi riding coff coff up teh zorst ov C Prudhomme's coff coff car. Oh! I coff cannot breathe!
Omnes:LOL @ M Burghardt! U need salbutamol, m8? Want a tea-wee roffle?
M Burghardt:Fck! Off!
C Prudhomme:Scram, u benighted puddings!
[After no small amount ov footling about]
N Boulting:Break! S ["Poisonous term" - Ed.]anel S Calamityjane!
S Calamityjane:Did he call me "Sue" agane? I will kill u, TV's *** Boulting. 2 DETH!
SD Millar:Break gone brute force. Which TD Gendt haz.
N Boulting:TD Gendt iz not in teh break, Super D!
SD Millar:[Improvising desperately] And timing, obv. Which TD Gendt haz not.
Omnes:U 2 been sampling ***’s birthday gin already?
Bethany [8]:o noes! i 4got ur birthday, ***! i orders u sum tqt off ov moonpig roffle!
[...]
N Boulting:... E Gesbert in teh break... twisted firestarter lol!
ETF Gesbert:Shut! Up!
[...]
N Boulting:Lunchtiem! Set 'em up, Bardet, Barguil, Barkeep! M Smith & slave, do ur thing!
[...]
M Smith & M Rogers:Blah. M Matthews abandoned! Wooden D Friebe, interviews!
GV Avermaet:Bad.
CP Sagan:[Looking even more bewildered than uzhul] M Matthews iz abandon? Y he do that? But he not win snottyjumper neway because I, CP Sagan, win it!
[...]
M Smith:Closed town monks princess Rasputin! Swimming pools ha ha ha?
M Rogers:
Omnes:This Unit hereby endorses this product, service or sentiment!
[...]
M Smith:Nostalgia! Quimper Dr Teeth Anglophone trial blazer!
M Rogers:Yes! R Millar SO Grady SD Millar spikim Ing!
C Boardmen:What about us?
M Smith & M Rogers:
[...]
N Boulting:Intermediate sprint sprint sprintEEEE! Look, see, F Gardenia haz outsprant CP Sagan!
SD Millar:
[...]
N Boulting:Look, see, S ["Poisonous term" - Ed.]anel haz launched teh assault attack on teh 1st climb!
S ["Poisonous term" - Ed.]anel:Combativité LOL! Not bad 4 teh old git, hein?
SD Millar:He's going long! Going 4 teh stage win!
N Boulting:Long, and quite deep!
Omnes:Snk! Fnarr! Chortle!
Bethany's Mum:O RLY? Hell-ooooo, big boy!
N Boulting:M Cavendish! In trub! Will TD Data send riders back 2 help him?
A Demare:No team wud be that Stupidz!
T FdJ:Wnkr!
N Bouhanni (via cuneiform tablet):LOL @ A Demare & hiz amnesia!
[...]
SD Millar:... & S ["Poisonous term" - Ed.]anel iz not going 4 teh stage win!
ETF Gesbert:Hullo clouds hullo $ky team car hullo ditch! Whoopsie!
Omnes:Ur top-tube descending 5k1llz r no match 4 C Froome's, ETF Gesbert! Haz u a misfire 2da, eh?
ETF Gesbert:Fck! Off!
[...]
N Boulting:Cha-Va! Wa-Wa! W Barguil made hiz impact quite a few years ago!
G Thomas:Yes. Yes, he did. On me!
[...]
N Boulting:M Kitteh! In trub! Fat cat?
M Kitteh:Shut! Up! Mi! Aow!
Bethany [8]:o hai skools out wots hapnin?
Omnes:Hie thee 2 a distascope, Bethany [8]! S ["Poisonous term" - Ed.]anel out front...
N Boulting:... C Froome!!1! Mechanical! Drama! Xitement! Really wild things!
T Things:Who, us?
[...]
SD Millar:Crash! A Yates! Off teh back! Disaster, doom and other Stuffs beginning wif "D"!
N Boulting:... oh! It was M Nieve! As u were...
[...]
SD Millar:...and teh roads round here r very good!
ML Maire:U looking at teh saem pictures as me, Super D? That 1 haz grass in teh middle!
SD Millar:[Improvising desperately] I said S ["Poisonous term" - Ed.]anel's attack woz doomed all along!
[...]
SD Millar:Break doomed liek I bin saing all teh lieulong day! P Gilbert J Alaphilippe!
N Boulting:Yes. Also GV Avermaet C Froome V Nibbles and, 4 all I kno, Jarlin J Jarlinsson teh Colombian Viking!
JJ Jarlinsson (via Gob):U kno I'm not actually in teh race this year, ***?
N Boulting:Piss! I had a tenner on u 4 teh spottyjumper!
[After much speculation on teh destination ov teh spottyjumper]
T Skujins:Yay! Spottypoints!
S Calamityjane:Arse!
S ["Poisonous term" - Ed.]anel:I unblock mi nose @ ur spottyambitions, T Skujins!
T Skujins:Not so fast, S ["Poisonous term" - Ed.]anel! U haz 4got teh bonerfications! And so has ***!
N Boulting & S ["Poisonous term" - Ed.]anel:Oh. Piss!
[...]
SD Millar:Look, see, teh pelican has S Calamityjane & T Skujins in its mitey beek!
J Alaphilippe:RAAAWWWRRR! Bonerfications!
GV Avermaet:Yay! Bonerfications!
T Skujins:Cock!
[On teh final climb]
N Boulting:P Gilbert! GV Avermaet! S Colbrelli! J Alaphilippe!
CP Sagan:U lot really haz no idea, haz u? Also, tomorrow is another day!
Omnes:Wait... what? He hasn't sed "crazy" all da!!1! Iz he ill?
NC Boardman:CP Sagan, liek I sed all along...
S ["Poisonous term" - Ed.]anel:Wot u mene T Skujins pwns teh combativité 2da? FFS!

* Actual quote :facepalm: Srsly.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

quixoticgeek

  • Mostly Harmless
Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #260 on: July 11, 2018, 05:45:06 pm »
Any chance you can break that out into a different thread? Everytime I think someone has added something about the TDF, it turns out to be a combination of perl and bad typing has been dumped into the thread... Maybe it makes sense to people who have been around for a while, but it seems to be incomprehensible gibberish.

J
--
Beer, bikes, and backpacking
http://b.42q.eu/

Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #261 on: July 11, 2018, 06:27:34 pm »
I’m surprised you’ve not noticed before, given you’ve been here 5 years. I suggest you just ignore it  :)
We are making a New World (Paul Nash, 1918)

mattc

  • "Hannibal"
  • n.b. have grown beard since photo taken
    • Didcot Audaxes
Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #262 on: July 11, 2018, 10:30:03 pm »
Bethany's "badly typed perl" is all the coverage I'm getting today :(

According to the Freeview guide, ITV4  broadcast 2 eps of "Pawn Stars" in the usual 1900h slot.

Oh well, at least I've got some footy to watch ...
Has never ridden RAAM
---------
No.11  Because of the great host of those who dislike the least appearance of "swank " when they travel the roads and lanes. - From Kuklos' 39 Articles

Torslanda

  • Professional Gobshite
  • Just a tart for retro kit . . .
    • John's Bikes
Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #263 on: July 11, 2018, 10:43:05 pm »
Teh 'highlights'. On ITV4. Now...

Or +1 @ 23:00 BST. Anyone with a recorder device for anbaric distascope has Shirley set a 'Record wiv Series Link'? For sure, yes.
VELOMANCER

Well that's the more blunt way of putting it but as usual he's dead right.

Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #264 on: July 11, 2018, 10:43:42 pm »
Any chance you can break that out into a different thread? Everytime I think someone has added something about the TDF, it turns out to be a combination of perl and bad typing has been dumped into the thread... Maybe it makes sense to people who have been around for a while, but it seems to be incomprehensible gibberish.

J

Sod that. It's the best reportage we have. Actually, any chance of a minute-by-minute live feed, Mr L?

(It makes more sense to those of us who see the UK coverage)

cygnet

  • I'm part of the association
Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #265 on: July 11, 2018, 11:51:19 pm »
About 90k of tomorrow follows the PBP route from Sizun over the Roc'h and through Carhaix. They should have had more sleep than the typical randonneur though.
I Said, I've Got A Big Stick

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #266 on: July 12, 2018, 12:07:15 am »
Teh 'highlights'. On ITV4. Now...

Or +1 @ 23:00 BST. Anyone with a recorder device for anbaric distascope has Shirley set a 'Record wiv Series Link'? For sure, yes.

TV's G Imlach, who is excellent, has made a point of telling us for the last couple of days that tonight's highlights would be later because foopball.  The message didn't filter down to ITV4's Deputy Assistant Acting Vice-Spod i/c Button-Pressing though, because even with series link my box recorded "Pawn Stars" anyway.  Fortunately I noticed it doing so, because even if you've watched the live coverage the highlights often has TV's Nice C Boardman, who is excellent, Explaining Complicated Stuffs for members of the swinish multitude liek me.  Or (sadly infrequently) TV's Evil C Boardman tormenting G Boardman 4 teh lulz.  Sketchy!
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #267 on: July 12, 2018, 05:53:41 am »
Sod that. It's the best reportage we have.
No it's not. It's gibberish garbage. :hand:

Torslanda

  • Professional Gobshite
  • Just a tart for retro kit . . .
    • John's Bikes
Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #268 on: July 12, 2018, 07:14:07 am »
Sod that. It's the best reportage we have.
No it's not. It's gibberish garbage. :hand:

Go write your own, then.
VELOMANCER

Well that's the more blunt way of putting it but as usual he's dead right.

T42

  • Old fool in a hurry
Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #269 on: July 12, 2018, 07:42:07 am »
Sod that. It's the best reportage we have.
No it's not. It's gibberish garbage. :hand:

Go write your own, then.

'ear 'ear, though it'd be even better live.

Speaking of which, https://sport.francetvinfo.fr/tour-de-france/direct gets you the French TV feed.
I dare eat all that may become a man.

But hold the oysters.

Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #270 on: July 12, 2018, 07:47:08 am »
Any chance you can break that out into a different thread? Everytime I think someone has added something about the TDF, it turns out to be a combination of perl and bad typing has been dumped into the thread... Maybe it makes sense to people who have been around for a while, but it seems to be incomprehensible gibberish.

J

I've been around for a while, i still don't get it and it is complete gibberish to me.
Mind of a cyclist, body of a dart's player.

Torslanda

  • Professional Gobshite
  • Just a tart for retro kit . . .
    • John's Bikes
Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #271 on: July 12, 2018, 07:53:40 am »
VELOMANCER

Well that's the more blunt way of putting it but as usual he's dead right.

Pingu

  • Put away those fiery biscuits!
  • Mrs Pingu's domestique
    • the Igloo
Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #272 on: July 12, 2018, 08:46:36 am »
Is scrolling a lost art form?

Basil

  • Um....err......oh bugger!
  • Help me!
Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #273 on: July 12, 2018, 09:01:56 am »
I enjoy it, although my lack of grand tour knowledge allows a lot to go over my head.
I'm a huge fan of Bethany, who like Peter Pan should never get any older.
Quote from: Kim
And remember that friends who organise things on Facebook aren't proper friends anyway.

T42

  • Old fool in a hurry
Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #274 on: July 12, 2018, 10:05:09 am »
Let him who is without sin cast the first perl.

Anyway, 'tain't. Perl is $emRaw[$i] =~ s/\n//g; and stuff like that. Mr L's deft /*----*/s are a sight more luser-friendly.
I dare eat all that may become a man.

But hold the oysters.