| La Course: Annecy > Le Grand-Bornand |
| |
G Imlach: | O hai! I, TV's G Imlach, teh master ov quick wit & ready repartee welcome u 2 another brillsticks da sur le Tour ov France! We haz Alpses! Also La Course, and here is L Deignan 2... |
Bethany [8]: | One word from u, J Bakelite, and ur in teh world ov hurt! |
G Imlach: | Cut! Cut, FFS! *** Boulting, colemantate! |
N Boulting: | O hai! I am TV's *** Boulting & I am both excellent and joined by TV's R Gilmore & a plate ov biscuits! I wud colemantate iffen we had live pictures. But we don't. |
Bethany [8]: | FFS, C Prudhomme! U had one job! |
| [...] |
N Boulting: | Pictures! Break! Chase! Pelican unbothered... |
R Gilmore: | ...who had a great ride on teh Izoard last year. Which I rode up also! |
Omnes: | O rly? U kept quiet about that! |
| [...] |
N Boulting: | Here 4 ur listening plezh, and 2 help keep R Gilmore quiet, is TV's L Deignan! |
L Deignan: | [Interesting Stuffs] |
R Gilmore: | [Sulks] |
N Boulting: | T UHC! Rider in break, 2 riders pushing hard @ front ov teh pelican! Wot's that all about? |
L Deignan: | Cockup, I think. |
| [...] |
CU Ludwig: | Bored now! Bai, pelican! |
L Kirchmann: | Yoicks! |
Omnes: | She's behiiiiiind u! |
L Thomas: | Yoicks! |
| [...] |
L Deignan: | Beach racing! |
N Boulting & R Gilmore: | Beach racing? |
L Deignan: | Racing. On. Beaches. On. Bieks. [Aside] Idiots! |
| [...] |
L Deignan: | Matches! |
R Gilmore: | Fireworx! |
Omnes: | ETF Gesbert iz not in this race! |
ETF Gesbert: | Fck! Off! |
B Dickinson (by phone): | Yay! Cowbells! Can I pla... |
M Barson's Mum: | No. No, you cannot. He's having hiz lunch! |
CU Ludwig: | Yay! Spottypoints! |
| [Sur le Col de la Colombière] |
L Brand: | With mi 1337 descending 5k1llz I, L Brand, am a contender! |
AVD Breggen, AV Vleuten & AM Pasio: | U cannot pla with us, L Brand, becoz ur naem duz not start wif "A"! |
L Brand: | Piss! |
AVD Breggen, AV Vleuten & AM Pasio: | Saem goes 4 u, CU Ludwig! |
CU Ludwig: | Arse! |
AVD Breggen & AV Vleuten: | U cannot pla with us either, AM Pasio, becoz u r not Dutch! |
AV Vleuten: | Giro Rosa? WTF woz I thinking? |
AVD Breggen: | Yay! Spottypoints! |
N Boulting: | Not over yet! Descent! Oh! We haz no pictures! |
Bethany [8]: | FFS! |
N Boulting: | Do not 4get that AV Vleuten iz 1 ov teh bestest tiem-traillists in teh wurrrrld! |
R Gilmore: | I wish I'd said that! |
Omnes: | U did! Every 7 seconds on last year's La Thing! |
R Gilmore: | [Sulks] |
| [Enfin] |
N Boulting: | AVD Breggen, hoam & vigorously towelling herself off! |
AV Vleuten: | O rly? |
AVD Breggen: | Yes. Yes, rl... Oh. Piss. |
AV Vleuten: | \o/ Last year woz niec but this was a race!!1! |
Bethany [8]: | Thank u, C Prudhomme! That was moar liek it! |
| |
| Stage 10: Annecy > Le Grand-Bornand |
| |
G Imlach: | Wowsa! La Course in actual race shock! |
NC Boardman: | Indeed it was, G Imlach, indeed it was! Moar plz, Eh-Ess-Oh! |
N Boulting: | I need teh breather! Summarize, Super D, then we can go and nom les delices des Alpes! |
SD Millar: | Stage race, GC Race, GV Avermaet! |
N Boulting: | TD Gendt in teh break. Barbecue ribs 4 teh team! |
SD Millar: | Probably frozen... |
Omnes: | There's no peotry in ur soul, Super D! |
SD Millar: | And no lunch in mi tum either! |
N Boulting: | This ^^^^. M Smith & P York! Hold teh fort! |
| [Grams: WHOOOOSH!1!] |
C Prudhomme: | OK, u tedious paysans! Shoo! |
J Alaphilippe: | RAAAWWWRRR! |
SD Millar: | J Alaphilippe... liek F Begbie! |
M Smith: | I thort u 2 had gone 4 lunch! Haz me & P York been talking 2 ourselves? |
Omnes: | LOL @ M Smith! |
N Boulting: | J Alaphilippe! |
SD Millar: | J Alaphilippe! |
GV Avermaet: | Do not listen 2 those tubs ov spam, J Alaphilippe! |
J Alaphilippe: | U ken me. I'm not teh type ov cnt that goes looking 4 fukn bother, liek, but @ teh end ov teh day I'm teh cnt with a pool cue biek... |
Omnes: | What did he just say? |
SD Millar: | St Bernard's house! Patron saint ov big hary doggies & Brandyyyyyy! |
| [Grams: WHOOOOSH!1!] |
M Smith: | Big break snooker loopy! Chas'n'Dave! |
Omnes: | Gertcha! |
P York: | Stage win GC contenders, GV Avermaet! |
M Smith: | CP Sagan? |
P York: | He's crazy! 2da different kettle ov fish 2 teh Roubaix stage! |
M Kitteh: | Did sum1 sa "fish"? I liek fish! Also, miaow! |
Omnes: | \o/ |
M Smith: | Where else would u rather be 2da instead ov racing a biek over a hundred miles ov mountains? |
G Thomas: | Pub? |
| [...] |
R Molard: | Spottypoints! |
R Taaramäe: | Piss! |
P York: | A Yates! 1 ov teh contenders who is in contention! |
Omnes: | |
| [...] |
N Boulting: | GV Avermaet! |
SD Millar: | GV Avermaet! |
N Boulting: | Luke Rowe, setting a Luke Rowe pace @ teh head ov teh pelican! |
Omnes: | U don't say, ***! |
J Alaphilippe: | Spottypoints! RAAAWWWRRR! |
| [Onto teh gravel] |
N Boulting: | Gravel! |
SD Millar: | Meh! |
TP Fairy: | Hullo clouds hullo T $ky hullo C Froome! Stab? Yes, stab! |
C Froome: | Arse! |
| [...] |
P York: | Energy! |
M Smith: | Quiet race 4 I Montoya N Quintana V Nibbles! |
P York: | Energy! Physical energy, mental energy! TD Energie! N-R-G! |
M Smith: | R Bardet! Moar prombles! Liek buses! They come swinging round that corner! They think they're Benny Goodman! |
Omnes: | |
| [...] |
CP Sagan: | Look, see, teh pelican haz finally cort up! [Waves] Hello, boys! Did u miss me? Crazy! |
T Pelican: | GIT!!1! |
N Boulting: | TK Alpecin! Rubbish morale factions! |
SD Millar: | Bad hair! All over teh place! Not liek me, TV's Super D Millar! |
EC Boardman: | I recommend floggings 4 improving morale! Oh yes! |
| [On teh Col de Romme] |
N Boulting: | Can teh break hold off teh pelican, Super D? |
SD Millar: | Yes, no and maybe! |
N Boulting: | |
SD Millar: | Teh break iz breaking! J Alaphilippe! |
N Boulting: | T $ky! T AS-TA-NA! |
SD Millar: | Attack from teh pelican! W Barguil! |
Bethany [8]: | \o/ wheres mi Da...R Urán? |
N Boulting: | Who? |
Bethany [8]: | ur naem will also be on teh list, *** Boulting! |
N Boulting: | Soz, Bethany [8], they cort W Barguil during teh shitverts! |
Bethany [8]: | that will not save u, *** Boulting! |
| [...] |
J Alaphilippe: | Moar spottypoints! Get 'ere, R Taaramäe! |
R Taaramäe: | Fck! Off! |
SD Millar: | J Alaphilippe... liek an angry Jack Russell! |
J Alaphilippe: | |
| [On teh Col de la Colombière] |
N Boulting: | GV Avermaet! He's supposed 2 lose teh shinyjumper 2da! |
GV Avermaet: | Shut! Up! |
SD Millar: | J Alaphilippe! Spottyjumper 2 Paris! |
J Alaphilippe: | Shut! RAAAWWWRRR! Up! |
N Boulting: | Race radio! Newsflash! TJV Garderen in trub! |
TJV Garderen: | I think u ought 2 kno I'm feeling very depressed... |
GV Avermaet: | Who's teh T BMC daddy now, eh? EH? |
N Boulting: | R Urán? Where I hear that naem b4? Neway, he's in trub also! |
Bethany [8]: | Gloating is neither big nor clever, *** |
C Froome: | Have a go if u think ur hard enuff! |
D Martin: | [Thumbs through "How 2 B Hard" by J Voigt] That'd b me, then! |
| [Enfin] |
N Boulting: | [Nauseating display of J Alaphilippe fanboiïsm] |
Omnes: | Shut! Up! |
J Alaphilippe: | w00t! \o/ |
GV Avermaet: | LOL @ T $ky, T Moviestar & T AS-TA-NA |
NC Boardman: | GV Avermaet! He cud keep teh shinyjumper 2moro 2! |
G Imlach: | J Alaphilippe! Spottyjumper 2 Paris! |
NC Boardman: | Don't c y not! |
N Boulting: | @ least I don't hav 2 try 2 pronounce "T Squeegee" ne moar! |
G Imlach: | Who will attack T $ky 2moro, Niec C? |
EC Boardman: | C Froome, if he wants 2 win! |