Author Topic: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive  (Read 5249 times)

Cudzoziemiec

  • Solar powered, tea fuelled cycle-wol
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #50 on: November 27, 2017, 12:42:36 pm »
Excellent! And Sturmey-Archer, being English and all that, should make a chip pan. It would be decorated with union jacks and pictures of cute royals with yappy dogs and there'd be a little label on the bottom saying Made in Taiwan.
sideways bounding monkey lounging under fruit tree

clarion

  • Tyke
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #51 on: November 27, 2017, 02:01:06 pm »
I don't want anything.

Not for my birthday.

Not for Christmas.

Not for being a dad.

I don't want cards; I don't want presents.

I'm quite capable of accummulating my own heaps of crap.
Getting there...

vorsprung

  • Opposites Attract
    • Audaxing
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #52 on: November 28, 2017, 01:45:15 pm »
I've got one of those too!  I can confirm it is as useful as a one-wheeled Chopper with a puncture.

I have the "fixie" pizza cutter and it works fine

Obvs. your pizza is too tough
Audaxing Blog follow @vorsprungbike on

Karla

  • car(e) free
    • Lost Byway - around the world by bike
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #53 on: November 28, 2017, 09:04:10 pm »
I've got one of those too!  I can confirm it is as useful as a one-wheeled Chopper with a puncture.

I have the "fixie" pizza cutter and it works fine

Obvs. your pizza is too tough

Decent cutting tools clearly haven't made it down to the west country yet.  Are you still waiting for flushing toilets too?

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #54 on: December 13, 2017, 03:24:12 pm »
Saw this tweet by Sustrans and was only half disappointed:

Quote
Are you still looking for that perfect gift for someone who cycles? Look no further - Our oline shop has loads of perfect gifts for people who ride bikes!

https://www.sustrans.org.uk/christmas-gift-ideas-for-cyclists

It's mostly maps and panniers, which are hard to fault, but they also have the usual assortment of mugs and T-shaped shirts.

But tucked away in the middle, we have this gem: https://www.sustrans.org.uk/mymile/ncn/map

What cycling curmudgeon wouldn't be thrilled to own a fridge magnet declaring their undying love for the local dog toilet / mugging hotspot / quagmire / Silly Sustrans Gate™?
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

citoyen

  • Cat 6 Racer
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #55 on: December 13, 2017, 03:31:53 pm »
I don't want anything.

Not for my birthday.

Not for Christmas.

Not for being a dad.

I don't want cards; I don't want presents.

I'm quite capable of accummulating my own heaps of crap.

+1

T42

  • Tea tank
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #56 on: January 02, 2018, 09:40:43 am »
I never thought of adding "things I already have" to my no-go list, so now I have three GoPro knock-offs. Still, the latest one is clean.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Solar powered, tea fuelled cycle-wol
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #57 on: January 02, 2018, 09:47:29 am »
I did receive an "evolution into cyclist" mug. It's ok. It holds tea, which is good. A fridge magnet certainly doesn't do anything that useful!

Edit: It was from someone I didn't expect to give me anything, so pretty good really.
sideways bounding monkey lounging under fruit tree

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #58 on: January 02, 2018, 10:04:56 am »
As already shewn in the Gallery, my B-i-L's Leyton Orient gnome:


Crimble-Cromble, Part 1 by Mr Larrington, on Flickr

"He'd probably get a game" quoth my grate frend and diehard O's fan Mr Sheen.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Wowbagger

  • Dez's butler
    • Musings of a Gentleman Cyclist
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #59 on: January 02, 2018, 10:06:24 am »
I think he would! He's actually in possession of the ball.
Oh, Bach without any doubt. Bach every time for me.

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #60 on: October 08, 2019, 01:10:28 pm »
Christmas has come early this year!

Mrs barakta's-mum has sent us a 2020 "Bike ART" calendar.  Crammed full of stylised drawings of bicycles with distracting technical errors, weeks that start on a Sunday and leftpondian public holidays.

Highlights include:

-Moulton-esque bike with the chainset on the wrong side.
-Chicken onna bike with a backwards saddle and single disembodied crank.
-Technically accurate ISO standard mountain bike (complete with reflectors, disc brakes, dork disk and Presta valve) inna field of tulips in front of a windmill[1].
-City bike with a structural chaincase[2].
-Post bike with cranks that look like nikki OTP made some special modifications, and a rear wheel with an off-centre hub that isn't going to play well with the full mudguard.


Barakta has suggested that we explain this people-not-knowing-what-a-bicycle-looks-like phenomenon to her by analogy to anatomically incorrect skellingtons: Stylisation is fine, but once there's a certain level of realism, you need to not make glaring mistakes.


[1] I've just realised this is a real windmill in USAnia, and not the ironic take on Dutch cycling I assumed.  Fine.
[2] Not in the Mike Burrows sense.
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #61 on: October 08, 2019, 01:30:29 pm »
I don't want anything.

Not for my birthday.

Not for Christmas.

Not for being a dad.

I don't want cards; I don't want presents.

I'm quite capable of accummulating my own heaps of crap.

+1

Quite.

It seems there's a whole category of overpriced/useless crap that only get bought as presents. Eg, bits of chain made into "jewellery", "fixe" spanners etc.

caerau

  • SR x 3 - PBP fail but 1090 km - hey - not too bad
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #62 on: October 08, 2019, 04:32:23 pm »
I dunno, my bike mug is my favourite and I drink my tea from it every morning (photo).

Your bike mug demonstrates an understanding of both bike frame geometry and mug handle ergonomics, thobut.


My wife has pilfered my useable and not-bad cycling mug.


The bike indicators I was given by my Mum have gone to the drawer of oblivion my office filing cabinet at home.  But these have been dealt with.  We got a new sofa recently so have managed to finally retire our cycling-themed cushions  :facepalm:


Yes, bike related tat appears to be the theme here. No change from that here
It's a reverse Elvis thing.

T42

  • Tea tank
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #63 on: October 08, 2019, 05:09:43 pm »
Books about the Tour de France.  :sick:
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #64 on: October 08, 2019, 07:55:29 pm »
You sure that that calendar isn't depictions of cycleway markings around the world Kim  ;D
the slower you go the more you see

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #65 on: October 08, 2019, 08:02:22 pm »
You sure that that calendar isn't depictions of cycleway markings around the world Kim  ;D

No, but that should totally be a thing.  Paging nikki.  Nikki to the brake-grime-stained binaural courtesy phone please...
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

Gattopardo

  • Lord of the sith
  • Overseaing the building of the death star
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #66 on: October 09, 2019, 12:16:20 pm »
Books about the Tour de France.  :sick:

Any good books about the tour?

Gattopardo

  • Lord of the sith
  • Overseaing the building of the death star
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #67 on: October 09, 2019, 12:17:06 pm »
You sure that that calendar isn't depictions of cycleway markings around the world Kim  ;D

No, but that should totally be a thing.  Paging nikki.  Nikki to the brake-grime-stained binaural courtesy phone please...

One picture per day, per week or per month?

T42

  • Tea tank
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #68 on: October 09, 2019, 12:57:27 pm »
Books about the Tour de France.  :sick:

Any good books about the tour?

Probably Tyler Hamilton's but watching Icarus was enough for me.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #69 on: October 09, 2019, 01:00:58 pm »
You sure that that calendar isn't depictions of cycleway markings around the world Kim  ;D

No, but that should totally be a thing.  Paging nikki.  Nikki to the brake-grime-stained binaural courtesy phone please...

One picture per day, per week or per month?

Depends on whether she has to actually build them or not.
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

citoyen

  • Cat 6 Racer
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #70 on: October 09, 2019, 01:25:53 pm »
Funny that this thread should be revived today. I've just this morning been working on a feature on how to do Christmas properly, with a section on gift-giving. The last line of this paragraph seems especially apposite for this thread...

Quote
AVOID HOBBIES
If someone has a hobby they really know about, resist the temptation to buy them anything to do with it. Someone who loves watercolouring in their spare time probably already has all the paints, brushes and paper they need (unless they specifically ask you for more). And novelty items linked to someone’s hobby, or job, feel destined for the attic or charity shop.

I don't need Christmas gifts though socks are always welcome, but anyone who knows me should know that my preference is for plain block colours or simple patterns (eg stripes) - never novelty motifs, and especially please no more socks with sodding bicycles on them.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #71 on: October 09, 2019, 01:58:11 pm »
The presents that have worked best for me to receive are those I can EAT, preferably with minimal packaging.

Belgian chocolates, bought in Belgium, in a relatively TINY box, without padding - YUM!

T42

  • Tea tank
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #72 on: October 09, 2019, 04:48:05 pm »
Funny that this thread should be revived today. I've just this morning been working on a feature on how to do Christmas properly, with a section on gift-giving. The last line of this paragraph seems especially apposite for this thread...

Quote
AVOID HOBBIES
If someone has a hobby they really know about, resist the temptation to buy them anything to do with it. Someone who loves watercolouring in their spare time probably already has all the paints, brushes and paper they need (unless they specifically ask you for more). And novelty items linked to someone’s hobby, or job, feel destined for the attic or charity shop.

The only exception to that rule that I've found is that you can never have too many clamps.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #73 on: October 09, 2019, 05:33:36 pm »
It wasn't Christmas when I found EXACTLY the right gift for partner's father earlier this year but:
He and D had spent AGES fruitlessly searching fo a tea cosy and none could be found in Christchurch.
I found one online, which perfectly complemented other textiles in his home.

Point is he needed and wanted a tea cosy.
I knew the man and his home well enough to choose the right design.

Ideally you need to get something the recipient needs and wants, which fits with their taste.

D's dad has bought us many things that have not been right: bicycle books, lousy bike accessories, scarves etc... He has said he does not want Christmas gifts and he wants for little. Sometimes there's a niche you can fill.

But this might not occur in either the Christmas or the birthday season.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Solar powered, tea fuelled cycle-wol
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #74 on: October 09, 2019, 06:32:43 pm »
"Just because" presents are often (usually?) the best.
sideways bounding monkey lounging under fruit tree