Then there's Gaisburger Marsch ... which is one of the most horrible things I've ever eaten.
As a resident of Alsace, surely the only things you ever eat are tarte flambée and choucroute?
(I went to an Alsace-themed restaurant in London once, started by the same people behind ersatz-Belgian chain Belgo, and those were the only two things on the menu. The food was OK, iirc, but the most notable thing about that meal was that it ended in A&E when my companion, wearing open-toed sandals, cut her foot badly on the edge of the metal stairs.)
Could be worse - you could live in the neighbouring départment and be forced to live on a diet of quiche lorraine.