Author Topic: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners  (Read 4894 times)

spesh

  • Indictments we bring to Trump and his kin...
Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #25 on: August 16, 2018, 05:29:42 pm »
That's got to be an excerpt from a new Carl Hiaasen novel.  Hasn't it?

This has "excerpt from a Hiaasen novel" written all over it.  ;D :-X

Quote
When Hallandale Beach Mayor Keith London said “sphincter bleaching is a very up and coming business,” during the City Commission’s budget discussion Monday night, he may have been right. But whether he thought anal bleach had anything to do with public safety budgets — the topic being discussed — remains unclear.

Why London thought it relevant, much less appropriate, to accuse a female commissioner of making her living from bleaching her own anus is even more baffling.

“Was it getting my sphincter bleached, is that what I earned my income for?” London said to Commissioner Anabelle Lima-Taub, as the two exchanged personal attacks. “No that would be you.”

What did the mayor even mean by that? London couldn’t be reached for comment.

https://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/community/broward/article216726340.html
This is not The Greatest Sig Line in the World, no.
This is just a tribute.

spesh

  • Indictments we bring to Trump and his kin...
Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #26 on: September 03, 2018, 10:07:32 pm »
Kuwaiti fishmonger with an eye for creative marketing bowled a googly by the authorities.

Quote
A fishmonger in Kuwait has been closed down for sticking googly eyes on fish to make them appear fresher.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-45398254
This is not The Greatest Sig Line in the World, no.
This is just a tribute.

spesh

  • Indictments we bring to Trump and his kin...
Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Floridians
« Reply #27 on: October 05, 2018, 09:20:24 pm »
And back to Carl Hiaasen's research files...

Quote
A gas station owner in Jacksonville is extremely pissed that people keep warming their urine in the store microwave.

"They walk in off the street, microwave urine containers then, leave," said On the Fly (yes, that's the real name) convenience store owner Parlu Patel to WLTV.

According to the television station, the store is within walking distance of a LabCorp drug testing facility. For the unfamiliar, it's not uncommon for anyone who needs to pass a drug test to use someone else's urine, and to get away with it, it needs to be at least body temperature.

Patel has posted a sign that says, "Only for food use, do not microwave urine."

https://www.orlandoweekly.com/Blogs/archives/2018/10/05/a-florida-gas-station-owner-wants-people-to-stop-warming-their-pee-in-his-microwave
This is not The Greatest Sig Line in the World, no.
This is just a tribute.

spesh

  • Indictments we bring to Trump and his kin...
Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #28 on: October 14, 2018, 03:08:49 pm »
This one's not from Florida, as you might expect, but from Tennessee (unfortunately, access to the news site is yet another collateral casualty of the GDPR, but you should get the gist from the tweet).

Quote
Man run over by lawn mower while trying to kill son with chainsaw
https://twitter.com/3onyourside/status/1050885186047631361

 
This is not The Greatest Sig Line in the World, no.
This is just a tribute.

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #29 on: October 15, 2018, 02:34:19 pm »
This one's not from Florida, as you might expect, but from Tennessee (unfortunately, access to the news site is yet another collateral casualty of the GDPR, but you should get the gist from the tweet).

Quote
Man run over by lawn mower while trying to kill son with chainsaw
https://twitter.com/3onyourside/status/1050885186047631361

And to think people failed to take Lawnmower DETH seriously!
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

CAMRAMan

  • Formerly A Warwickshire Lad
Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #30 on: October 17, 2018, 10:22:39 am »
Let's kick a man while he's down, eh?!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-45860488
Haggerty F, Haggerty R, Tomkins, Noble, Carrick, Robson, Crapper, Dewhurst, Macintyre, Treadmore, Davitt.

Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #31 on: November 11, 2018, 07:03:19 pm »
Clearly a mayor that believes getting into the swing of things

https://www.planetski.eu/news/10929

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

spesh

  • Indictments we bring to Trump and his kin...
This is not The Greatest Sig Line in the World, no.
This is just a tribute.

Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #34 on: November 13, 2018, 11:17:13 pm »
Given Trumps foot stamping today, could it really be the case, that due to sulking, he did not visit the American cemetery in the Aisne?
Get a bicycle. You will never regret it, if you live- Mark Twain

Kim

  • 2nd in the world
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

T42

  • Gaulois réfractaire
Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #36 on: November 19, 2018, 03:28:46 pm »
Reminds me of an episode in the late 50s when a Belfast dockyard crane-driver and his mate got drunk, and the driver borrowed his company "car" to take his chum home to Dundonald, 5 miles or so out of town. He then drove the crane back again, managing to hit both posts of the dockyard gates in doing so. Over the entire trip he damaged around 80 parked cars.
I dare eat all that may become a man.

But hold the oysters.

spesh

  • Indictments we bring to Trump and his kin...
Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #37 on: November 29, 2018, 06:52:59 pm »
And back to the US state that already has more than its fair share of mentions...

Quote
Florida woman faces an aggravated assault charge after authorities say she passed gas in line at a dollar store and pulled a knife on a man who complained about it. http://apne.ws/VSjGk2G  #odd
https://twitter.com/AP_Oddities/status/1068150347363950592

The replies are a toot - sorry, I mean hoot.
This is not The Greatest Sig Line in the World, no.
This is just a tribute.

mattc

  • n.b. have grown beard since photo taken
    • Didcot Audaxes
Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #38 on: November 30, 2018, 09:48:15 am »
And back to the US state that already has more than its fair share of mentions...

Quote
Florida woman faces an aggravated assault charge after authorities say she passed gas in line at a dollar store and pulled a knife on a man who complained about it. http://apne.ws/VSjGk2G  #odd
https://twitter.com/AP_Oddities/status/1068150347363950592

The replies are a toot - sorry, I mean hoot.

Normally I regard fart-gags as the lowest form of wit ... but this is hilarious!
Has never ridden RAAM
---------
No.11  Because of the great host of those who dislike the least appearance of "swank " when they travel the roads and lanes. - From Kuklos' 39 Articles

Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #39 on: November 30, 2018, 04:17:36 pm »
Now we know why the USA has that "Are you a terrorist?" visa question.
Quote
“One of the questions ask if you are a terrorist and it must have jumped from No to Yes without me knowing," he said.

"I even called border control in the US and gave them my passport details."

"They looked up my Esta number and said ‘you’re a terrorist’. I told them that I was 70 years old and I don’t even recognise what that means."
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/john-stevenson-us-visa-ban-terrorist-esta-form-mistake-a8660441.html
The earth is vast and beautiful and contains many miraculous places. (Chekhov)

Guy

  • Left-Wing Moonbat Green NAZI
Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #40 on: December 03, 2018, 09:32:51 am »
It's not just British idiots who move to the country and start complaining about everything

Quote
A married couple who bought a large house in the fields on the edge of Holzkirchen, south of Munich, are suing a farmer over the clanging cowbells on her cows, which graze in a neighbouring meadow.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-46371208
I hate the army and I hate the RAF
I don't wanna go fighting in the tropical heat
I hate the civil service rules
I won't open letter bombs for you

Zipperhead

  • The cyclist formerly known as Big Helga
Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #41 on: December 03, 2018, 01:57:01 pm »
It's not just British idiots who move to the country and start complaining about everything

Quote
A married couple who bought a large house in the fields on the edge of Holzkirchen, south of Munich, are suing a farmer over the clanging cowbells on her cows, which graze in a neighbouring meadow.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-46371208

I read that this morning. Not just the cow bells, but they are complaining about the smell of cow shit. Perhaps they should have gone to live in a pseudo country environment like a golf course.
Our son does know who Boz Scaggs is, we've done ok as parents.

Kim

  • 2nd in the world
Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #42 on: December 03, 2018, 02:29:30 pm »
It's not just British idiots who move to the country and start complaining about everything

Quote
A married couple who bought a large house in the fields on the edge of Holzkirchen, south of Munich, are suing a farmer over the clanging cowbells on her cows, which graze in a neighbouring meadow.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-46371208

I read that this morning. Not just the cow bells, but they are complaining about the smell of cow shit. Perhaps they should have gone to live in a pseudo country environment like a golf course.

They'd only complain about flying balls and ridiculous trousers.
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #43 on: December 03, 2018, 02:30:02 pm »
To be fair, when they bought the house there were only fields. Then the council and a farmer conspired...
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #44 on: December 03, 2018, 02:34:35 pm »
Apparently in U.K. law your right to enjoy your property without nuisance is above the rights of even persisting nuisance causing businesses. This is why many motorsport venues are struggling or have gone out of business.
Sorting my life out, one shed at a time.

Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #45 on: December 03, 2018, 03:34:51 pm »
It's not just British idiots who move to the country and start complaining about everything

Quote
A married couple who bought a large house in the fields on the edge of Holzkirchen, south of Munich, are suing a farmer over the clanging cowbells on her cows, which graze in a neighbouring meadow.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-46371208
One of *their* neighbours needs to countersue, complaining about the smell of bullshit.

Details on the court case
Quote
They seemed like pleasant neighbours at first, good at putting the bins out, kept their lawn mowed. Then we noticed this terrible smell. It took us a few days before we realised . . . they were full of it. Living next to them has become quite unbearable.
<i>Marmite slave</i>

mattc

  • n.b. have grown beard since photo taken
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Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #46 on: December 03, 2018, 07:30:19 pm »
 ;D

 :thumbsup:
Has never ridden RAAM
---------
No.11  Because of the great host of those who dislike the least appearance of "swank " when they travel the roads and lanes. - From Kuklos' 39 Articles

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #47 on: December 05, 2018, 03:04:23 pm »
Apparently in U.K. law your right to enjoy your property without nuisance is above the rights of even persisting nuisance causing businesses. This is why many motorsport venues are struggling or have gone out of business.

The Kimbolton kart circuit has only a limited number of race days, so when some infernal busybody from the local council saw a large number of cars parked at the track on a non-racing Sunday, he kicked up a fuss and the BHPC is now persona non grata at the venue.  Yes, it's our fault for our non-engines not disturbing the peace.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

mattc

  • n.b. have grown beard since photo taken
    • Didcot Audaxes
Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #48 on: Yesterday at 02:39:55 pm »
Apparently in U.K. law your right to enjoy your property without nuisance is above the rights of even persisting nuisance causing businesses. This is why many motorsport venues are struggling or have gone out of business.

The Kimbolton kart circuit has only a limited number of race days, so when some infernal busybody from the local council saw a large number of cars parked at the track on a non-racing Sunday, he kicked up a fuss and the BHPC is now persona non grata at the venue.  Yes, it's our fault for our non-engines not disturbing the peace.
Perhaps you should have all cycled there?

<runs>
Has never ridden RAAM
---------
No.11  Because of the great host of those who dislike the least appearance of "swank " when they travel the roads and lanes. - From Kuklos' 39 Articles

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #49 on: Yesterday at 02:45:47 pm »
<cycles>

surely!
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.