Author Topic: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...  (Read 3596 times)

Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« on: February 27, 2018, 11:44:33 am »
Not quite misheard lyrics - this is for the songs where you know full well what the real lyrics are, but just sing the wrong ones for sh1ts/giggles/smuttiness...

Whole Again - Atomic Kitten
You can make me whole again
You can fill my hole again

Handy Man - Jimmy Jones (or James Taylor)
I'm not the kind that uses pencil or rule/I'm handy with the love and I'm no fool
I'm not the kind that uses pencil or rule/I'm handy with my loving tool

We Built This City - Starship
We built this city on rock and roll
We built this city on sausage rolls

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #1 on: February 27, 2018, 11:53:52 am »
I can never listen to His Bobness doing "With God On Our Side" without weighing in with the Half Man Half Biscuit version.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #2 on: February 27, 2018, 01:22:24 pm »
Any song that mentions California, I change it to "Valley Corner". Dunno why really.
The earth is vast and beautiful and contains many miraculous places. (Chekhov)

T42

  • Gaulois réfractaire
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #3 on: February 27, 2018, 01:23:19 pm »
Morning has broken
Morgens hat's Brötchen

Abilene, Abilene,
Sweetest town I ever seen...
Ebberdeen, ma Ebberdeen
Grimmest hole ah ivver been...

There are also a few songs where I only remember the parodies.  Can't remember any just now.
I dare eat all that may become a man.

But hold the oysters.

Kim

  • 2nd in the world
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #4 on: February 27, 2018, 01:40:28 pm »
Weirdly my mind's gone completely blank, but there should be an entire category for that childhood sport of augmenting instrumental TV themes with de-facto lyrics by the simple means of repeatedly singing the name of the programme in a vague attempt to fit the tune.
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #5 on: February 27, 2018, 02:55:58 pm »
I can see clearly now the rain has gone

I can see Deirdre now Lorraine has gone

I don't know why.
L'enfer, c'est les autos.

T42

  • Gaulois réfractaire
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #6 on: February 27, 2018, 04:34:13 pm »
That's like the one in Dublin:

I can see Clery's now, the crane has gone

- following renovations.

A chum used to sing "Rock of Ages" with the first word changed to something anatomical and rude. The rest of the verse fell nicely into context.
I dare eat all that may become a man.

But hold the oysters.

Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #7 on: February 27, 2018, 05:33:56 pm »
Since Trump, I've re-worked one of my favourite standards, Stormy Weather:-

Don't know why there's no sun up in the sky
Stormy Daniels
She does things you won't find in the manuals.....

and

Can't go on, everything I had is gone
Stormy Daniels
Had more **** than twenty cocker spaniels

NSFW?

Mrs Pingu

  • Who ate all the pies? Me
    • Twitter
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #8 on: February 27, 2018, 05:51:42 pm »
U2:
I'm not the only one
Starin' at the sun With a smelly bum


IGMC.
Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #9 on: February 27, 2018, 05:57:06 pm »
Desmond Decker

Me ears are alight......
Get a bicycle. You will never regret it, if you live- Mark Twain

Pingu

  • Put away those fiery biscuits!
  • Mrs Pingu's domestique
    • the Igloo
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #10 on: February 27, 2018, 06:01:26 pm »

Basil

  • Um....err......oh bugger!
  • Help me!
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #11 on: February 27, 2018, 06:27:21 pm »
Motorhead:  The eight of spades.  The eight of spades.

I do it to annoy the boys really.
Quote from: Kim
And remember that friends who organise things on Facebook aren't proper friends anyway.

spesh

  • Indictments we bring to Trump and his kin...
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #12 on: February 27, 2018, 06:50:27 pm »
AC/DC:

Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap with sheep...

(as sung by Bob Rivers)
This is not The Greatest Sig Line in the World, no.
This is just a tribute.

Graeme

  • Priest, Preacher and Prophet
  • @FatherHilarious
    • BalancingOnTwoWheels
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #13 on: February 27, 2018, 06:56:28 pm »
James, "Tomorrow"
You can't catch love with a net or a gun
You can't catch love with an elephant gun.
37. Because travel is the finest educational system of all; and cycling the cheapest, easiest, and most educational means of travel - Kuklos' 39 Articles

Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #14 on: March 04, 2018, 03:00:12 pm »
Bruce Springsteen:  "Everybody's got a hungry arse".
Never tell me the odds.

Basil

  • Um....err......oh bugger!
  • Help me!
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #15 on: March 04, 2018, 03:36:48 pm »
I left my heart,
In Fat Sam's Disco
Quote from: Kim
And remember that friends who organise things on Facebook aren't proper friends anyway.

T42

  • Gaulois réfractaire
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #16 on: March 04, 2018, 05:20:46 pm »
Then there are the famous ones, "Your walrus hurt the one you love" and "Big horse, I love you".

But they're clean.
I dare eat all that may become a man.

But hold the oysters.

Basil

  • Um....err......oh bugger!
  • Help me!
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #17 on: March 04, 2018, 06:11:41 pm »
Then there's Englebert Humperdinck's kitchen sink classic.

Please degrease me, let me flow.
Quote from: Kim
And remember that friends who organise things on Facebook aren't proper friends anyway.

spesh

  • Indictments we bring to Trump and his kin...
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #18 on: March 04, 2018, 06:17:43 pm »
Lump - Presidents of the United States of America, now ruined by the current incumbent...

It's Trump, it's Trump!
What's on his head?
It's Trump, it's Trump, it's Trump!
Oh we're so dead!
This is not The Greatest Sig Line in the World, no.
This is just a tribute.

Redlight

  • Enjoying life in the slow lane
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #19 on: March 05, 2018, 03:29:21 pm »
You can't hurry lunch
Oh, you have to eat slow
If you eat too quickly
Your tum will hurt before you know...
Between the Disney abattoir and the chemical refinery

clarion

  • Tyke
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #20 on: March 05, 2018, 04:13:19 pm »
Back to the days of working in theatre (Based on a true story)...

Summertime, and the rigging is easy
Sparks are jumping, and the Crew Boss is high
Your Director's rich, and your Chief ain't good looking
So hush, little techy, don't you cry

One of these mornings
You're gonna rig up singing
Spread your spansets
And reach for the sky(hook)
But till that morning
You'll have to risk dodgy wiring
So hush, little techy
Shut up.....and die.
Getting there...

T42

  • Gaulois réfractaire
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #21 on: March 05, 2018, 04:15:36 pm »
Then there's Englebert Humperdinck's kitchen sink classic.

Please degrease me, let me flow.

Reminiscent of

Hail Mary, full of grease, the Lard be with you.

Best said in a stage Oyrish accent.
I dare eat all that may become a man.

But hold the oysters.

Torslanda

  • Professional Gobshite
  • Just a tart for retro kit . . .
    • John's Bikes
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #22 on: March 06, 2018, 10:36:22 am »
Uncle Peter knows the title. all I can remember is a line from a hymn from childhood...

'Most highly flavoured gravy'
VELOMANCER

Well that's the more blunt way of putting it but as usual he's dead right.

spesh

  • Indictments we bring to Trump and his kin...
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #23 on: March 06, 2018, 12:04:44 pm »
Steppenwolf - Born To Be Wild Drink Mild
This is not The Greatest Sig Line in the World, no.
This is just a tribute.

Eccentrica Gallumbits

  • Rock 'n' roll and brew, rock 'n' roll and brew...
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #24 on: March 06, 2018, 01:53:45 pm »
Hey ho, hey ho
It's off to work we go
With a shovel and a pick and a rhubarb stick
My feminist marxist dialectic brings all the boys to the yard.