Poll

Current family status

Single
9 (17.6%)
Married (but no children)
6 (11.8%)
Married (with young children)
15 (29.4%)
Married (but with older children who still live at home so don't care what you get up to)
5 (9.8%)
Divorced
4 (7.8%)
Retired
6 (11.8%)
Unmarried (with children)
1 (2%)
In a partnership (with no children)
5 (9.8%)

Total Members Voted: 51

Author Topic: Current family status  (Read 1052 times)

Re: Current family status
« Reply #25 on: March 11, 2019, 07:33:23 pm »
Two young kids (10 and 6), so very rarely do long rides at weekends.  Try to limit them to 2-3 per year, including one when on holiday and they generally are in exchange for my wife doing an art course or similar. But kids are growing up and I have done up to 50km with my eldest (shewas super-motivated as the ride took in 3 countries and a ferry journey) and 25 with the youngest.

What I can do is long commutes- 2 days a week my wife is at home, so I have no pick-up or drop off commitments.  If I get out by 4am one day a month, I can do 100km and be at my desk for 9.  I love riding at night and now with VeloViewer exploring, I can target more tiles.
I also try to do a 50-60km ride once a week before work- a more civilised start time of 6am, but no new VeloViewer tiles reachable in that time any more.

A couple of well-timed cups of coffee at work and an early night soon after the kids go to bed, mean that they can be completely unaware that I've been out.  My body seems to give out on the 20km ride home, by which time I've been up for 15 hrs and done a days work, but it is good training for 200km rides.

Have also taken to running as I can sh@g myself out in much less time than cycling...  Kids cycle to school- I run with them and then take a scenic route home.   Again little cost to family life.

Re: Current family status
« Reply #26 on: March 11, 2019, 08:27:05 pm »
I have a tolerant family, but balance for us means maybe one Audax a month; for one thing, I have some volunteering that takes weekends as well. At that level, I struggle to get beyond 100km. In reality, that's one a month during autumn and winter, a bit of a peak around now, when there are lots of shorter events, and then relatively little in summer, when the events are all longer. With luck, the extra March events will get me fit enough for one or two 200km events around the end of this month.

My all-out cycling was in student days and just after, before we were married. As a student, I raced up to five times a week. When the kids were young, I managed on riding one club 10 a week, riding to work, and not too much else. Then, as any speed I had ever had (not much, in reality) faded, I discovered Audaxes.

Re: Current family status
« Reply #27 on: March 11, 2019, 08:49:24 pm »
As others have said, many families have a parent who is away a lot. In the war some children never saw their fathers until they were several years old. I know a lovely family in which the father is away somewhere secret and out of contact ( submarines) for long periods. The mother still rides and races her bike as well ( with extended family and friend support). Professional cyclists are away for months on races, training camps etc. I was involved in pro cycling for many years so away almost every weekend, and worked late other times. My kids seem to have grown up as responsible, stable and successful people - who have a very strong work ethic - they saw that work was important.
For what it’s worth, my personal view is that families run around children, rather than run around respecting everyone’s needs and wants, doesn’t long term do the children any favours.

Re: Current family status
« Reply #28 on: March 12, 2019, 10:26:27 am »
We have one 5 year old and 2 grown up. We were never fast and the most I have ever ridden in a day is about 108 miles. Before the 5 year old came along we did a few overnight rides and 100s as well as touring 30 - 60 + miles per day, partly guided by what the middle one was up for (he has lived with us full time since he was 13, prior to that we had him at weekends and worked around that). We stopped riding any distance almost entirely when I had the now 5 year old, partly due to his needs but also due to clarion suffering injuries and changing circumstances in other areas. We will get back to it when things settle down, but it is rare that we do much separately and we never leave N with other people, so he has to be accommodated in what we do.

I would look at what you can do with your children rather than without. At 13 and 14 my stepson toured with us and enjoyed it. At 16, he rarely got on his bike, unless we were doing a 100k - he did an overnight 100k on fixed having barely ridden that month. He liked the challenge, but not the everyday riding.
Quote from: Kim
^ This woman knows what she's talking about.

Re: Current family status
« Reply #29 on: March 12, 2019, 10:42:03 am »
As others have said, many families have a parent who is away a lot. In the war some children never saw their fathers until they were several years old. I know a lovely family in which the father is away somewhere secret and out of contact ( submarines) for long periods. The mother still rides and races her bike as well ( with extended family and friend support). Professional cyclists are away for months on races, training camps etc. I was involved in pro cycling for many years so away almost every weekend, and worked late other times. My kids seem to have grown up as responsible, stable and successful people - who have a very strong work ethic - they saw that work was important.
For what it’s worth, my personal view is that families run around children, rather than run around respecting everyone’s needs and wants, doesn’t long term do the children any favours.

All true enough, though in many cases this was facilitated by Woman who brings up the children while Man goes to work.  For better or worse, many of us nowadays are in a different situation: where both parents work full time, kids do at least some childcare hours, and we want to share out the remaining time as best we can.   Thankfully of course, kids seem to cope great with a whole range of upbringing.  As long as everyone is getting a fair deal and nobody left unconsidered (including the adults), there is plenty of room for differences.

Re: Current family status
« Reply #30 on: March 12, 2019, 11:08:46 am »
I know people with no kids who never leave their partner's side outside of work hours.

I know mums who spend far more time on sport/hobbies than you do.

Your post seems to be asking what is normal, or possibly average. There IS no average family. Normal is not the norm!

Yes and no. Although I agree that there is no such thing as an average family or even an average person, take a look at the demographics on an event like PBP or LEL.  My feeling is that the groups of, say, "under 30", and "over 50" are over-represented compared to the overall population, while the group "between 30 and 50" seems to be under-represented. Of course, I have no strong stats to back up my claim, it's just an impression, but it's very tempting to say that people in the ages where you often have younger children tends to have less time for long distance cycling!

This is at least our case,  a family of four, the two happily married parents riding the same bicycle as the forum name suggests. We cycled a lot when we had no children, and as long as the children were young enough to be happily cared for by family/friends, etc during our occasionnal long rides. Then for the last 6/7 years, our cycling reached minimalist proportions, mostly due to family duties,  but we expect very soon, when the children will still be at home, but old enough to care for themselves, to resume long distance cycling.

A
 

mattc

  • n.b. have grown beard since photo taken
    • Didcot Audaxes
Re: Current family status
« Reply #31 on: March 12, 2019, 12:10:28 pm »
"demographics" are just another form of averages :)

(who cares what other people "in the same demographic" do?? As my Mum used to say "if everyone else jumped off a cliff, would YOU do it?? "

Most people in my demographic don't ride a bike!
Has never ridden RAAM
---------
No.11  Because of the great host of those who dislike the least appearance of "swank " when they travel the roads and lanes. - From Kuklos' 39 Articles

Re: Current family status
« Reply #32 on: March 12, 2019, 01:29:11 pm »
Who asked you to jump off a cliff? Certainly not me! The fact that older /younger people are over/under represented in some activities is just a plain fact that can be easily observed. No one said you were forced or prohibited to do anything because other people off similar age do or don't do that!

Alain

telstarbox

  • Loving the lanes
Re: Current family status
« Reply #33 on: March 12, 2019, 01:48:36 pm »
Ne pas nourrir le troll :)
2017 - R500 ✅ | 2018 - R1000 ✅ | 2019 - ?

fboab

  • It's a fecking serious business, riding a bike
Re: Current family status
« Reply #34 on: March 12, 2019, 02:03:55 pm »
I didn't have 4 children to let other people to look after them. I took up audax when I was divorced- it seemed a pretty time filing activity for when they spent the weekend with their dad.

I think I probably spent more time cycling than they would have liked- more than one family row contained a child telling me she hated me and that I loved my bike(s) more than them.

What matters more, your children or your cycling? In 20 years time, what will you be prouder of, spending the weekend on your bike dragging your sorry arse round some wet Welsh weekend? The welsh hills will still be there when your kids have left home.
The obverse to that, of course, is that if you cycle to escape, what kind of parent are you if you don't have that time.

Solo long distance cycling is incredibly self indulgent.
TSS is not Total Sex Score, Chris!

mattc

  • n.b. have grown beard since photo taken
    • Didcot Audaxes
Re: Current family status
« Reply #35 on: March 12, 2019, 02:13:49 pm »
Ne pas nourrir le troll :)
If you think that _I_ am trolling, monsieur, then vouz ne comprendez pas, I'm afraid!
Has never ridden RAAM
---------
No.11  Because of the great host of those who dislike the least appearance of "swank " when they travel the roads and lanes. - From Kuklos' 39 Articles

Re: Current family status
« Reply #36 on: March 19, 2019, 06:04:00 pm »
I'm somewhat torn atm.

Not over cycling, but training, and racing, for another sport.

Ideally, I'd train 3-4  times a week. 1.5hrs most sessions, up to 3hours for one long session.

Then a race every 2-3 weeks. The races are not local, so that means a car drive (haven't got to that stage yet).

Even fitting in training is difficult now that MrsC has moved down to live with me. She isn't here all the time, she tries to get to see her (ill) mother and her daughter as much as possible. But when she is here, I feel the pressure to get back home. If I go training, I don't get home until 9pm weeknights. If I do a weekend long paddle, currently that is most of a day.
<i>Marmite slave</i>

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: Current family status
« Reply #37 on: March 19, 2019, 08:32:32 pm »
Just introduce them to Fortnite. You could be gone for a month or two before they notice.
!nataS pihsroW

Re: Current family status
« Reply #38 on: March 19, 2019, 08:43:25 pm »
I do a lot of hours on the bike but half of those, weekly, are commuting.   When we had a child I had to make a few decisions and lifestyle changes.   I’m probably home about the same amount of time and I now work far less hours than I used to.

I’m pretty present at the school and know all of the teachers.   There’s some Dad’s there I have never even met as they’re always away with work.   I just got back from a, albeit early, parents evening where we were in the minority having both parents there.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Solar powered, tea fuelled cycle-wol
Re: Current family status
« Reply #39 on: March 19, 2019, 08:57:35 pm »
My current family status is multi-ethnic: black, white and red.

Oh sorry, current not currant!
The earth is vast and beautiful and contains many miraculous places. (Chekhov)

Adam

  • It'll soon be summer
    • Charity ride Durness to Dover 18-25th June 2011
Re: Current family status
« Reply #40 on: March 19, 2019, 09:23:16 pm »
My children are now grown up and have been booted out bribed to get their own places.  However, when they were young, there was a certain conflict, so I got round it to a large extent by either going out very early in the morning, or doing night rides (see FNRttC), meaning I could not be blamed for always being out of the house when domestic duties required a responsible adult.
“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” -Albert Einstein

Pedal Castro

  • so talented I can run with scissors - ouch!
    • Two beers or not two beers...
Re: Current family status
« Reply #41 on: Yesterday at 07:52:42 am »
When my kids were very young my cycling was part of my job, three games afternoons a week and the occasional weekend race. Then I moved to a day school and pretty much stopped cycling for 20 years until one of my now grown up daughters suggested we go on a cycle tour together. Early on in that 20 year hiatus I did teach the kids how to ride and took them out for small local rides.