Author Topic: 'Customer' Feedback Surveys  (Read 1057 times)

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: 'Customer' Feedback Surveys
« Reply #25 on: December 05, 2018, 10:29:47 am »
I think some of our subdecks use NPS. This minion doesn't. Useless management mumbo-jumbo. I think it's one of the ISO9000-1 accepted KPIs. Anyone who says KPIs should be fed to crocodiles that have been trained to become angry and agitated at the mere whiff of a spreadsheet (they do smell).

I refuse to participate in either running them or answering them, but I see plenty of them as every conference I attend or present at now does the bloody things. What does some number our of five or ten actually mean on some vague subjective criterion? Nothing, I suspect. Was my performance a seven or an eight (three on a good night, says my wife). And exciting comments like 'I really thought the subject matter would be different' (from the title and summary in the agenda – they're some kind of clue, I'd assume, about that what I plan to present).
!nataS pihsroW

Re: 'Customer' Feedback Surveys
« Reply #26 on: December 05, 2018, 11:10:20 am »
I come here during breaks in auditing to relax and normally to have a laugh. However.... I now find this.....

I think some of our subdecks use NPS. This minion doesn't. Useless management mumbo-jumbo. I think it's one of the ISO9000-1 accepted KPIs. Anyone who says KPIs should be fed to crocodiles that have been trained to become angry and agitated at the mere whiff of a spreadsheet (they do smell).

I refuse to participate in either running them or answering them


As someone who still has bad flashbacks to a week spent in Milton Keynes learning how to audit to ISO 9000 and 9001, and then spends most of his working day considering KPI's, please don't mention such filth here!

KPI's......aaaarrrrggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg  :demon:

Kim

  • 2nd in the world
Re: 'Customer' Feedback Surveys
« Reply #27 on: December 05, 2018, 01:06:30 pm »
I've just spent most of the morning sitting in the radiology waiting room at the Royal Orthopaedic.  They have a screen showing what clinics are running late, calling people's names, etc on one side, and showing a loop of videos on the other.  The video loop consisted of a silent animated history of the medical use of X-rays, a little piece about the what happened at the hospital during the war that wasn't subtitled and was too quiet to hear, the usual bits and pieces slideshow about washing hands, safeguarding, etc, and an excessively long cutsey animated video all about the "would you recommend us to your family?" feedback questionnaire which for no good reason had an incredibly irritating whistly music soundtrack.

They were playing the same bloody thing in outpatients, too, though thankfully we didn't have to wait long.

I'm now thoroughly earwormed with the bastard thing.  I'd rather fill in feedback forms.
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: 'Customer' Feedback Surveys
« Reply #28 on: December 05, 2018, 01:09:02 pm »
Don't knock it, the last time I was in the local GP surgery, the obligatory TV was showing an ad for the local funeral directors.
!nataS pihsroW

Kim

  • 2nd in the world
Re: 'Customer' Feedback Surveys
« Reply #29 on: December 05, 2018, 01:28:22 pm »
Don't knock it, the last time I was in the local GP surgery, the obligatory TV was showing an ad for the local funeral directors.

Our GP's version is a special circle of hell:  Firstly, it's a massive screen with a flicker-tastic backlight that's seen better days.  It's being fed analogue video, likely via an inappropriate cable, which I know because of all the ringing artefacts.  There's no audible sound, the soundtrack instead being provided by local radio blaring through an assortment of ceiling speakers[1].  The video itself consists of a sidebar with JPEGy-looking images-of-text, some horizontal scroll-text from the land that double-buffering forgot, and some video with the worst deinterlacing I've ever seen.

And that's just the technical stuff.

The content comprises of useless information (like the practice address and telephone number) some really cheap animation encouraging you to get your flu jab, be tested for chlamydia, not to abuse antibiotics and so on, and adverts for various NHS services you hope never to need.  The scrolltext duplicates much of the video content, but out of phase, so it doesn't function as captioning.

I generally sit with my back to it, which means I fail to hear the nurse calling me from the other side of the room.


[1] I suspect this may be an ill-thought-through attempt to attain data protection compliance at the expense of disability access compliance.
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: 'Customer' Feedback Surveys
« Reply #30 on: December 05, 2018, 01:40:26 pm »
Has anyone audited how annoying/irritating/counterproductive these surveys are?
If not, why not?
If so, where are the results published?

Kim

  • 2nd in the world
Re: 'Customer' Feedback Surveys
« Reply #31 on: December 05, 2018, 01:43:46 pm »
Has anyone audited how annoying/irritating/counterproductive these surveys are?
If not, why not?

Ssh!  They'll make us do another survey!
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

barakta

  • Bastard lovechild of Yomiko Readman and Johnny 5
Re: 'Customer' Feedback Surveys
« Reply #32 on: December 05, 2018, 04:08:32 pm »
I was good and filled the obligatory survey pushed into my hands as I walked out of my clinic appointment earlier.  I did tick the highest marks for most of it cos of the "less than 100% gets them shouted at" shite. And they are pretty good, any "lateness" in the last 2 appts has been because the clinicians have clearly been reading my notes (and in this case spending time going "errr fuuuuck")...

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: 'Customer' Feedback Surveys
« Reply #33 on: December 05, 2018, 04:22:37 pm »
Sitting in the recovery room after endoscopy.

"Would you recommend this service to your friends and family?"

No, just some enemies.
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

Re: 'Customer' Feedback Surveys
« Reply #34 on: December 05, 2018, 04:39:29 pm »
Don't knock it, the last time I was in the local GP surgery, the obligatory TV was showing an ad for the local funeral directors.

During my last eye operation they had Smooth FM on the radio. So I had a new lens fitted during the drum break to 'In the Air Tonight', followed by a solicitor's commercial for medical malpractice claims.

I gave then some immediate feedback, and they thought that the likeliest recipient of a malpractice suit would be the anaesthetist.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: 'Customer' Feedback Surveys
« Reply #35 on: December 05, 2018, 04:59:57 pm »
It strikes me this premature zeal for feedback is RUDE and akin to the predatory service in a restaurant where a fork on a plate entices waiting staff to snatch plate and cutlery from the hapless diner before he has finished chewing his morsel.

Can't people wake up/get their breath back/chew off before the next stage of the 'process'?

NOTHING makes me feel a place is impersonal and I'm just an item on a production line more than staff impatience...

Re: 'Customer' Feedback Surveys
« Reply #36 on: December 05, 2018, 09:24:25 pm »
akin to the predatory service in a restaurant where a fork on a plate entices waiting staff to snatch plate and cutlery from the hapless diner

A few years ago now, SWMBO and I were staying in Tripoli, Libya. The hotel, like many, was buffet service.  If you were sufficiently unwise to arise from your seat for only a few seconds, say to get another juice, or a bread roll from the buffet, you'd return to find your place cleared.  The lot.  Even the crumbs.  The wife and I had to take it in turns to guard each other's plate when one of us was re-visiting the buffet.  Needless to say, there were a few occasions when the staff won. 

Quite a challenge, that trip.  But the archaeology was worth it.  And the mental image of a camel's head, complete with 5ft long trachea hanging in a butcher's window will go with me to my grave.  Apparently it was to show the prospective shoppers that the camel meat in the shop was fresh, as that was the camel it came from...….

S'pose that obviated the need for a feedback survey.

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: 'Customer' Feedback Surveys
« Reply #37 on: December 05, 2018, 10:38:33 pm »
The 'how's your meal' as you reach maximum chew on your first mouthful is the signature move of every US restaurant. MowmUMmthfoGth, you'll inevitably reply, a response that could run the gamut of this is absolutely delicious to I think I'm chewing the undercooked remnants of a distantly deceased donkey's undercarriage. They always assume the former even if you are in Arby's.

Hotel buffet breakfast turnaround is fearsome. Grab everything on your first pass and don't give up your spot. In the time it takes to snatch a Danish and a coffee refresh, you'll be replaced by a Chinese family. Any attempt to resolve that scenario will require the sort of advanced mime that you're not nearly ready for that at that time in the morning. There's probably a good market for an inflatable breakfast mate, you inflate it and leave it in your seat while you go wait for the omelette guy. It's either that or it's 7.30am and you're dancing with a pastry in front of a Chinese family. It's like your're subjecting them to the worst Vegas show ever.
!nataS pihsroW

Mrs Pingu

  • Who ate all the pies? Me
    • Twitter
Re: 'Customer' Feedback Surveys
« Reply #38 on: December 05, 2018, 10:45:49 pm »
We keep getting these 'Your Voice Matters' (YVM) surveys at my place of employment. They were probably a good idea to begin with, but all that happens now is after every survey the team is expected to hole up with their boss to come up with an 'action plan' for how to make the scores better next time. Deep joy.
Anything less than a 7/10 score is considered 'disengaged'. I had a quite interesting discussion with my boss' boss' boss about the relative difference between scores in USania and here. Obviously everyone in USaniana thinks everything is *awesome* while the British attitude tends to be somewhat more glass half empty. I've tried suggesting we en masse fill in everything with either all 1's or all 10's in the hope they'll take the hint and go away....
Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

Re: 'Customer' Feedback Surveys
« Reply #39 on: December 06, 2018, 07:54:42 am »
Ah, we have something like that every year starting about three years ago.

Well, the results from the first years management feedback survey was, frankly terrible: We hated them for imposing half thought out ideas on us and then reacting badly when we pushed back against them. Oh....and we hated them for lying to us, an example being: "No, we aren't downsizing just moving people on to new opportunities outside the business. You don't mind picking up their work do you."

As a reaction to this, the senior management held meeting after meeting and promised to do better/listen more etc etc. The next feedback however, was worse with people saying: "Just go away and let us get on with our jobs. We know what we are doing: that's why you employed us, so bugger off and let us get on with it."

Did they bugger off....did they heck as like! Instead, they introduced "360 views" where a person (mostly a disposable middle management) were examined by people who had links to them. So, their manager would say what they thought of them/their performance as would the middle managers staff....except that no-one from the minor sub decks would play ball and give feedback: we aren't stupid down here, so that idea was quickly scrapped.

Now senior management say they listen.... the results of the most recent survey are out soon. Lets see if us plebs agree.....  :-\

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: 'Customer' Feedback Surveys
« Reply #40 on: December 06, 2018, 09:12:24 am »
We do the 360 thing just to add spice to the annual reviews. It's exactly what any sane human with enough neurones to exhibit basic sentience would think it would be.

As mentioned, those in the US don't quite that the British are reluctant to give anything 10/10. We'd give the invention of toast a 9/10. It's not bad, this.
!nataS pihsroW

Re: 'Customer' Feedback Surveys
« Reply #41 on: December 06, 2018, 09:23:46 am »
We keep getting these 'Your Voice Matters' (YVM) surveys at my place of employment. They were probably a good idea to begin with, but all that happens now is after every survey the team is expected to hole up with their boss to come up with an 'action plan' for how to make the scores better next time. Deep joy.
Anything less than a 7/10 score is considered 'disengaged'. I had a quite interesting discussion with my boss' boss' boss about the relative difference between scores in USania and here. Obviously everyone in USaniana thinks everything is *awesome* while the British attitude tends to be somewhat more glass half empty. I've tried suggesting we en masse fill in everything with either all 1's or all 10's in the hope they'll take the hint and go away....
I guess work surveys are different but for those completed by the public (for health services etc) surely a lot of people fill them in at random anyway. Whether they take account of this when compiling them, like Gallop et al would, I don't know.
The earth is vast and beautiful and contains many miraculous places. (Chekhov)

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: 'Customer' Feedback Surveys
« Reply #42 on: December 06, 2018, 11:11:21 am »
In my experience no. OMG, someone gave the event a 1/10 we must change everything! The other 499 didn't complete a survey or gave it a decent score.
!nataS pihsroW

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: 'Customer' Feedback Surveys
« Reply #43 on: December 06, 2018, 03:22:13 pm »
are getting on my tits!
Seems you can't do ANYTHING without these intrusions.
Looks like I've missed a second one (by phone) following my recent minor surgery and they'll send it to me by post.
What fun!

Duly arrived in today's post (2nd class).
Wonderfully scummy recycled paper asking about pain, nausea, vomiting, whether I'd needed advice and whether staff introduced themselves.

Fair enough, I suppose. I completed it.

Re: 'Customer' Feedback Surveys
« Reply #44 on: December 06, 2018, 04:25:04 pm »
What is the best way to make your reply completely meaningless?

All ones, all tens, all five or six, or answers that add up to forty two?

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: 'Customer' Feedback Surveys
« Reply #45 on: December 06, 2018, 04:38:11 pm »
What is the best way to make your reply completely meaningless?

All ones, all tens, all five or six, or answers that add up to forty two?

This one did not have numerical answers and I thought it fair to let them know if I was sick or in pain.

I told them I'd taken analgesics but not about the extra biscuits I had downed as comfort food.

Re: 'Customer' Feedback Surveys
« Reply #46 on: December 06, 2018, 04:47:03 pm »
If I feel whoever I dealt with really tried to help, I'll go to the trouble to mark them as 10's or whatever no matter whether the outcome was positive to me or not, it just helps the wheels go round. Otherwise I just don't bother.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: 'Customer' Feedback Surveys
« Reply #47 on: December 06, 2018, 05:08:45 pm »
I think the one I received today could be useful to improve surgical and anaesthetic techniques if these had been suboptimal.

Given day patients are gone before they'll ever get a chance to meet the team again, it's fair the team should know if the patient has been in Hell or just fine. It is a tad impersonal thobut...