Author Topic: things i don't understand  (Read 4351 times)

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
things i don't understand
« on: April 25, 2019, 12:38:24 pm »
(of which there are, so obviously, many)

Energy drinks. Red Bull and their ilk. Every day on my stroll to the pool I pick up the discarded cans (and anyone who thinks youth is the vanguard of environmental change haven't encountered the pupils at my local secondary school).

They seem to exclusively consumed by people who really don't need energy, smell like carbonated sick, and their main selling point is that they contain taurine, an amino acid you only need if you're a cat.

Honestly, why they are so popular, I don't know.
!nataS pihsroW

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: things i don't understand
« Reply #1 on: April 25, 2019, 12:40:28 pm »
Marketing, I reckon.  I mean, they fill a niche of being something that both tastes bad and is perceived as cool for people who aren't legally allowed to buy beer[1].  But that doesn't explain their continued popularity (albeit usually with the addition of vodka) amongst the over-18s.

There's a 'Vodbull' shop round the corner from here.  I keep wanting to go in and ask what they actually sell, but I suspect that makes me an old fart.

(Also, who drives those cars with the giant can of redbull on the back?  Do they win them in a competition or something?  Or is someone paid to randomly park them around student areas?)



[1] Ob-xkcd
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

Re: things i don't understand
« Reply #2 on: April 25, 2019, 12:42:44 pm »
Because they mix well with Vodka?
We are making a New World (Paul Nash, 1918)

Re: things i don't understand
« Reply #3 on: April 25, 2019, 12:43:51 pm »
Generally consumed by people who are on incredibly unhealthy diets.

Tequila slammers
I don't understand these.
<i>Marmite slave</i>

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: things i don't understand
« Reply #4 on: April 25, 2019, 12:46:32 pm »
Tequila slammers
I don't understand these.

*googles*

Drunk people having fun with physics?  I suppose it's safer than drinking liquid nitrogen...
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: things i don't understand
« Reply #5 on: April 25, 2019, 12:51:59 pm »
Marketing indeed (the internet tells me it was originally a Thai 'tonic' intended to keep truckers awake, which if you've driven on a Thai road, you'd understand), but I don't understand the reality. Do people drink it and thing 'mmm' this is good stuff? It reeks. And if that wasn't bad enough, it's now universally the smell of a British town centre on a Sunday morning, and that's not a recommendation.

There's another variety called Monster, which seems to big-up the volume of Red Bull, for those who really don't need it. Even the kids seem to rarely finish an entire can of that. I do have to wonder who sends their kids to school with a can of Red Bull, a Ginster's pasty, and a pavement sized slab of Dairy Milk.
!nataS pihsroW

Re: things i don't understand
« Reply #6 on: April 25, 2019, 12:53:39 pm »
I do have to wonder who sends their kids to school with a can of Red Bull, a Ginster's pasty, and a pavement sized slab of Dairy Milk.

I think this belongs in the "You know you're middle aged" thread  ;D
We are making a New World (Paul Nash, 1918)

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: things i don't understand
« Reply #7 on: April 25, 2019, 12:58:07 pm »
Quite probably. I was going to grumble as I picked up a can the wrong way and it deposited the remaining contents down my trousers and really the smell as I rinsed them clean made me almost retch.
!nataS pihsroW

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: things i don't understand
« Reply #8 on: April 25, 2019, 01:24:25 pm »
I think Red Bull is also consumed by those who want to be active without eating, like heavy alcohol drinkers.

You might have thought that the combination of sugar and caffeine would make this popular with long-distance cyclists.

We are thankfully more discerning than that.

I have never tried Red Bull or Monster.

Coffee and CAEK are another matter.

Re: things i don't understand
« Reply #9 on: April 25, 2019, 01:45:35 pm »
I took these to be like pro plus, but swapping the furtive pill popping for display of consumption.

Sent from my LG-H850 using Tapatalk


Re: things i don't understand
« Reply #10 on: April 25, 2019, 01:48:43 pm »
I took these to be like pro plus, but swapping the furtive pill popping for display of consumption.

Sent from my LG-H850 using Tapatalk

I believe that may have been the original intent, or perhaps you and I share the same misunderstanding  ;D
We are making a New World (Paul Nash, 1918)

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: things i don't understand
« Reply #11 on: April 25, 2019, 01:49:01 pm »
Red Bull and its ilk were specifically banned by Teh Roolz of the rehab Gulag wot I was in.  I questioned this on the grounds that it was so foul no-one in their right minds would drink it but it seems that, by definition, us alkies and worthless junkie wasters are not in our right minds.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

fuaran

  • rothair gasta
Re: things i don't understand
« Reply #12 on: April 25, 2019, 01:54:04 pm »
You might have thought that the combination of sugar and caffeine would make this popular with long-distance cyclists.

We are thankfully more discerning than that.
I've had a few Red Bulls during audaxes. I think it is quite effective for keeping going while sleep deprived etc. And more convenient to carry a can in your bag, for the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere, when you can't buy a coffee.
Though yes, Monster cans are too big. Don't want that much of a sugar rush at once.

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: things i don't understand
« Reply #13 on: April 25, 2019, 01:55:56 pm »
I don't think the local schoolkids aren't the source of the lager cans that also constitute the other part of my daily litter haul, but who knows, I assume the occasional empty cans of deodorant probably aren't being used on a personal hygiene basis. Ah, behold my joyful bound through the woods. It's rather nice when the kids are on holidays, then it's only booze and cigarettes litter.

In other news, I've never been able to look at, never mind smell, Southern Comfort since the time – many decades ago – it emitted at some velocity through my nose.
!nataS pihsroW

Re: things i don't understand
« Reply #14 on: April 25, 2019, 02:31:27 pm »
I have the same problem with gin and tonic, and for the same reason.
Never tell me the odds.

Re: things i don't understand
« Reply #15 on: April 25, 2019, 02:53:56 pm »
Ah, for me it was Newcastle Brown. It was warm, and the ejaculate was frothy.
We are making a New World (Paul Nash, 1918)

fboab

  • It's a fecking serious business, riding a bike
Re: things i don't understand
« Reply #16 on: April 25, 2019, 04:23:11 pm »
I drink Monster on audaxes. It is a meal replacement when you can't face food
TSS is not Total Sex Score, Chris!

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: things i don't understand
« Reply #17 on: April 25, 2019, 04:24:19 pm »
Our forecourt seems to attract cheap vodka bottles and Red Bull cans. I don't think it's the school kids.

Re: things i don't understand
« Reply #18 on: April 25, 2019, 04:42:33 pm »
It was warm, and the ejaculate was frothy.

Now there's an opening line for a book.  :demon:
Hell is empty, and all of the devils are here.

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: things i don't understand
« Reply #19 on: April 25, 2019, 04:49:03 pm »
I can plot the littering patterns based around school holidays. Industrial lager cans, full-size cigarette packets, and tobacco pouches are still there during school holidays, only occasional energy drinks. Once the children are back, then it's the motherlode – definite uptick in energy and other sugary drinks, crisp packets, sweet and chocolate wrappers, the (daily) huge Dairy Milk bar wrapper, service stations pasties and other sundries, and Capri Sun pouches. I'm not sure who snorts the aerosols. I'd mind less but a proportion of it is tossed into the trees where it's hard to retrieve. I only pick it up in the woods (two handfuls today and they've been back since Tuesday), the back entrance to the school is rubbish tip, you can chart their progress in discarded plastics. It's more than a bit depressing to be honest, like seeing someone under the age of sixty buying a copy of the Daily Mail (another thing I'd don't understand).
!nataS pihsroW

Re: things i don't understand
« Reply #20 on: April 25, 2019, 04:59:02 pm »
It was warm, and the ejaculate was frothy.

Now there's an opening line for a book.  :demon:
Then the murders began.
Never tell me the odds.

Re: things i don't understand
« Reply #21 on: April 25, 2019, 05:41:03 pm »
If you are absolutely fucked on a 400k at 1am, it's a pretty good pick-me-up as long as you dont mind remaining awake for the following 18 hours.

I dont anymore because I'm unconvinced of the safety of so doing to a tired heart, whilst exercising, at an hour where the body expects to be asleep.

Re: things i don't understand
« Reply #22 on: April 25, 2019, 06:03:03 pm »
I once had two 500ml cans of Monster inside of twenty minutes. I'd been up all night doing an OU assignment, had forty minutes sleep and then gone to work.

I was awake for about ten minutes after drinking them and then spent the rest of the day with everyone thinking I was drunk.

Do. Not. Recommend.
Miles cycled 2014 = 3551.5 (Target 7300 :()
Miles cycled 2013 = 6141.4
Miles cycled 2012 = 4038.1

Re: things i don't understand
« Reply #23 on: April 25, 2019, 06:09:32 pm »
I too tried Redbull just before the overnight section of 400's when I first did them. Haven't touched the stuff for some time.  I now go into overnight audaxes with good sleep in at least the week leading up and rarely get the doozies now.  Certainly on the Arrow last weekend there was no point where I got the dozier. Mind it was bloody freezing so that probably kept me awake.

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: things i don't understand
« Reply #24 on: April 25, 2019, 07:42:45 pm »
Methamphetamine is readily available and I'm sure must taste better.

Personally, I just go to the coffee place and ask for something drastically caffeinated. I actually didn't blink for four entire hours this morning.
!nataS pihsroW