Author Topic: Female Friendly Audax.  (Read 10222 times)

Bianchi Boy

  • Cycling is my doctor
  • Is it possible for a ride to be too long?
    • Reading Cycling Club
Re: Female Friendly Audax.
« Reply #125 on: June 01, 2019, 06:42:34 pm »
Having a map of toilets is useful for everyone

Yes, I generally know where there are bogs because occasionally I need to find one in a hurry.
I carry wet wipes as can be caught short in quite a sudden way.

I apologise for the detail.

BB

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... suggest that you fly that comment past any close female friends or relatives.
The first rule of phoo club........ Every long distance cyclist has a story......

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Set a fire for a man and he will be warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

Re: Female Friendly Audax.
« Reply #126 on: June 03, 2019, 12:33:55 pm »
I noticed ctc magazine this week has an article about very short/tall/heavy riders and illustrates this with (amongst others) a woman who is 5’3” - the average height of a woman in the uk! The article is pretty good, but it does make you wonder when an average woman is regarded as extreme by the ctc

Wow.
I didn't believe that statistic and went off and Googled - and marylogic is correct. I'm 5'7" and have always felt that was "average-ish or maybe just over average".

I said to my husband once "You may be a short man but you are not a short person." - he is 5'5" which is short enough to be a hassle when buying clothes (especially trousers) but he can pretty much walk into a bike shop and walk out with a bike to fit.

quixoticgeek

  • Mostly Harmless
Re: Female Friendly Audax.
« Reply #127 on: September 08, 2019, 10:30:43 am »

Had a new one asked yesterday.

"Is this your first brevet?"

"No, it's my 7th this year"

Only 6 women out of 52 riders yesterday. I'm curious why he felt that the women would be doing their first 200...

I was wearing my TCR cap too[1]...

J

[1]I don't normally wear a race cap outside of a race, but felt I should for this particular ride.
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LittleWheelsandBig

  • Whimsy Rider
Re: Female Friendly Audax.
« Reply #128 on: September 08, 2019, 10:41:30 am »
That is a question I ask of unfamiliar riders at least 25% of the time when a small group forms, regardless of gender. It is a bit of a conversation starter and I like learning how folk hear about brevets and also which interesting rides they’ve done.
Wheel meet again, don't know where, don't know when...

quixoticgeek

  • Mostly Harmless
Re: Female Friendly Audax.
« Reply #129 on: September 08, 2019, 10:46:58 am »
That is a question I ask to unfamiliar riders at least 25% of the time when a small group forms, regardless of gender. I like learning how folk hear about brevets and also which interesting rides they’ve done.

There are better ways to ask:

"How many Audaxes have you done before?" - Presumes you've done more than 1.

"I've not seen you at one of our events before" - Maybe you ride elsewhere, and so our wheels haven't crossed before.

J
--
Beer, bikes, and backpacking
http://b.42q.eu/

LittleWheelsandBig

  • Whimsy Rider
Re: Female Friendly Audax.
« Reply #130 on: September 08, 2019, 10:55:17 am »
Maybe you are right but does it matter that much? That question or alternate forms seem to prompt an informative response, beyond a straight yes or no, which is the intent.
Wheel meet again, don't know where, don't know when...

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Female Friendly Audax.
« Reply #131 on: September 08, 2019, 10:55:28 am »
I'm not sure I'd be too fussy about smalltalk quality in the few fraught minutes before an event starts.

I might just be more focussed on bike/clothes/route etc and expect other riders might be similar.

quixoticgeek

  • Mostly Harmless
Re: Female Friendly Audax.
« Reply #132 on: September 08, 2019, 10:56:26 am »
I'm not sure I'd be too fussy about smalltalk quality in the few fraught minutes before an event starts.

I might just be more focussed on bike/clothes/route etc and expect other riders might be similar.

We were riding at the time, and I was navigating for them as their nav wasn't working...

J
--
Beer, bikes, and backpacking
http://b.42q.eu/

Re: Female Friendly Audax.
« Reply #133 on: September 08, 2019, 11:00:15 am »

Had a new one asked yesterday.

"Is this your first brevet?"

"No, it's my 7th this year"

Only 6 women out of 52 riders yesterday. I'm curious why he felt that the women would be doing their first 200...

I was wearing my TCR cap too[1]...

J

[1]I don't normally wear a race cap outside of a race, but felt I should for this particular ride.

Surprised you didn't reply "Don't you know who I am?!?!? Look, look - this is a TCR cap! A TCR CAP! Are you an idiot? etc."

Talk about having a chip on your shoulder....

However it makes me reflect on the number of times I've asked riders whether this is their first Audax ride. You know, starting a conversation, happy to offer help, etc. I now realise that's a completely unacceptable way to behave unless you ask in an approved manner.
You're only as successful as your last 1200...

quixoticgeek

  • Mostly Harmless
Re: Female Friendly Audax.
« Reply #134 on: September 08, 2019, 11:14:47 am »

Surprised you didn't reply "Don't you know who I am?!?!? Look, look - this is a TCR cap! A TCR CAP! Are you an idiot? etc."

Talk about having a chip on your shoulder....

However it makes me reflect on the number of times I've asked riders whether this is their first Audax ride. You know, starting a conversation, happy to offer help, etc. I now realise that's a completely unacceptable way to behave unless you ask in an approved manner.

It's patronising. It's up there with "Are you here with your boyfriend?"

If you're asking every rider that, sure go for it. But to only ask it of the women on a ride?

J
--
Beer, bikes, and backpacking
http://b.42q.eu/

Re: Female Friendly Audax.
« Reply #135 on: September 08, 2019, 11:19:43 am »
My usual question (on an audax) with someone I haven't met before is "Have you done this one before?"

quixoticgeek

  • Mostly Harmless
Re: Female Friendly Audax.
« Reply #136 on: September 08, 2019, 11:23:48 am »
My usual question (on an audax) with someone I haven't met before is "Have you done this one before?"

That's a good way of asking too. "I've not done this event, but I've done others"

J
--
Beer, bikes, and backpacking
http://b.42q.eu/

Re: Female Friendly Audax.
« Reply #137 on: September 08, 2019, 11:27:45 am »
@ quixoticgeek

You know it was only asked of the women on the ride?  Why do you assume everyone will know what a TCR cap is about?  Maybe you could go into the rides without an agenda - or even an a-gender?! 

quixoticgeek

  • Mostly Harmless
Re: Female Friendly Audax.
« Reply #138 on: September 08, 2019, 11:30:17 am »
@ quixoticgeek

You know it was only asked of the women on the ride?  Why do you assume everyone will know what a TCR cap is about?  Maybe you could go into the rides without an agenda - or even an a-gender?!

On that specific ride it is a very fair assumption.

I turn up to these rides to ride my bike and have fun. I don't arrive with any agenda. I'd like to do it without being patronised...

At least this time noone asked me if I was there with my boyfriend.

J
--
Beer, bikes, and backpacking
http://b.42q.eu/

Re: Female Friendly Audax.
« Reply #139 on: September 08, 2019, 11:40:58 am »
Is a man talking to a woman patronising by definition?  It might have been his first audax, too, you know?

quixoticgeek

  • Mostly Harmless
Re: Female Friendly Audax.
« Reply #140 on: September 08, 2019, 11:46:45 am »
Is a man talking to a woman patronising by definition?  It might have been his first audax, too, you know?

It doesn't have to be patronising by definition. But in an alarming number of cases, whether intended or not, it is.

J
--
Beer, bikes, and backpacking
http://b.42q.eu/

Re: Female Friendly Audax.
« Reply #141 on: September 08, 2019, 11:51:49 am »
OK, I'm sorry you felt like that!

Redlight

  • Enjoying life in the slow lane
Re: Female Friendly Audax.
« Reply #142 on: September 08, 2019, 12:34:47 pm »

I was wearing my TCR cap too[1]...


I don't think either of the people - one of each gender - who asked me yesterday if I was on my first Audax noticed the LEL sticker on my mudguard. I guess they thought that I was a newbie because I was going a little slower than them. I wasn't offended; it seemed a pleasant way for them to open a conversation. 
Between the Disney abattoir and the chemical refinery

bludger

  • Randonneur and bargain hunter
Re: Female Friendly Audax.
« Reply #143 on: September 08, 2019, 12:54:34 pm »
I've never been asked if it's my first audax. Whereas for QG and a heap of the women in my club, being approached under the assumption that they're plausibly less experienced than the (male) approacher, in every cycling context we go to as a club, is the norm.

As an example one of my club friends has podium'd at Grinduro in Scotland. At the cross race season this year she repeatedly had men telling her how important it was that she go tubeless, why hydraulic brakes are the best, etc. Where for you being asked 'is this your first audax' is a one off, being approached and perceived and assumed as the less experienced and incapable is understandably wearying and irritating.

Even when I can tell someone is new to the sport, knowing being assumed that this is the case is very, very annoying and it's best not to ask IMO.
YACF touring/audax bargain basement:
https://bit.ly/2Xg8pRD


Re: Female Friendly Audax.
« Reply #144 on: September 08, 2019, 01:01:25 pm »

Surprised you didn't reply "Don't you know who I am?!?!? Look, look - this is a TCR cap! A TCR CAP! Are you an idiot? etc."

Talk about having a chip on your shoulder....

However it makes me reflect on the number of times I've asked riders whether this is their first Audax ride. You know, starting a conversation, happy to offer help, etc. I now realise that's a completely unacceptable way to behave unless you ask in an approved manner.

It's patronising. It's up there with "Are you here with your boyfriend?"

If you're asking every rider that, sure go for it. But to only ask it of the women on a ride?

J

How the hell is asking someone if it's their first Audax ride patronising? That you assume men only ever ask women that question, I think, says plenty about you.

One of the things that has always appealed to me about Audax rides is the sheer friendliness and helpfulness of the participants - especially towards newbies. But you seem hell-bent of portraying every piece of every-day pleasantness (from men) into some gender-based assault upon women.

Therefore I'd like to reassure anyone reading this thread that Audax events really aren't a bike rides masquerading as two-wheeled misogynistic festivals...


I've never been asked if it's my first audax.

More than once I have been asked whether I'm riding my first Audax. I don't recall ever taking offence.

But then offence is something taken, not given.
You're only as successful as your last 1200...

bludger

  • Randonneur and bargain hunter
Re: Female Friendly Audax.
« Reply #145 on: September 08, 2019, 01:04:26 pm »
Quote
More than once I have been asked whether I'm riding my first Audax. I don't recall ever taking offence.

But then offence is something taken, not given.

This isn't about 'one off' instances, this is clearly in the context of repeatedly and consistently being approached under the assumption of less experience and expertise by men. Whether in work or cycling or whatever else I'll wager.
YACF touring/audax bargain basement:
https://bit.ly/2Xg8pRD


hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Female Friendly Audax.
« Reply #146 on: September 08, 2019, 01:05:17 pm »
I'm afraid women are patronised almost wherever and whenever they cycle in the UK.

Those who are patronising may not be aware of this.

Re: Female Friendly Audax.
« Reply #147 on: September 08, 2019, 01:14:58 pm »
I'm not sure I'd be too fussy about smalltalk quality in the few fraught minutes before an event starts.

I might just be more focussed on bike/clothes/route etc and expect other riders might be similar.

We were riding at the time, and I was navigating for them as their nav wasn't working...

J
Should have asked if it was their first 200, heading out without reliable navigation.
   Eddington  87 miles

zigzag

  • unfuckwithable
Re: Female Friendly Audax.
« Reply #148 on: September 08, 2019, 01:56:56 pm »
"is this your first audax" is a loaded question, if someone asked me i'd say "yes*, is yours?" and see where that takes us, i'd play the game on their level :)

* they didn't ask "first ever", so i'd be correct in saying "yes" and omitting "this month, this week, today etc."

Re: Female Friendly Audax.
« Reply #149 on: September 08, 2019, 02:09:26 pm »
'Is this your first Audax', is on a par with 'Do you come here often', as a chat-up line. Better than 'You don't sweat much for a fat lass'.  I suppose.

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