Author Topic: So where's the scam?  (Read 1237 times)

T42

  • Old fool in a hurry
So where's the scam?
« on: October 07, 2020, 01:15:55 pm »
Today MrsT received an Amazon parcel she hadn't ordered, containing a purple dildo and a USB cable.  The formulation of her name on the label was one she never uses: first name full-length whereas her friends use the short form and for her own orders she uses Mrs.

We're left wondering where the scam is and what to do next, if anything.

I seem to recall some discussion of unsolicited Amazon stuff in here a while back...

I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: So where's the scam?
« Reply #1 on: October 07, 2020, 01:23:27 pm »
AIUI you make unsolicited reviews and big-up a product.

Or could it be a cash-for returns scam?
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

"Yes please" said Squirrel "biscuits are our favourite things."

T42

  • Old fool in a hurry
Re: So where's the scam?
« Reply #3 on: October 07, 2020, 01:53:22 pm »
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

ian

  • feat. Undead Jess & Finestre, Queen of Hell
Re: So where's the scam?
« Reply #4 on: October 07, 2020, 03:03:25 pm »
Wrap 'em up and you've got Christmas sorted.
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fboab

  • It's a fecking serious business, riding a bike
Re: So where's the scam?
« Reply #5 on: October 07, 2020, 03:53:20 pm »
How come I never get these sorts of scams? I could really use
.
.
.
.
.
.
.





a USB cable.
TSS is not Total Sex Score, Chris!

ian

  • feat. Undead Jess & Finestre, Queen of Hell
Re: So where's the scam?
« Reply #6 on: October 07, 2020, 04:20:37 pm »
I have a drawer full of USB cables.

I can never find the right dildo though.
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Re: So where's the scam?
« Reply #7 on: October 07, 2020, 04:38:32 pm »
Does the dildo have a built in camera and connect to the Internet to send its footage to its overlords?

ian

  • feat. Undead Jess & Finestre, Queen of Hell
Re: So where's the scam?
« Reply #8 on: October 07, 2020, 05:21:13 pm »
>Look around
You are in a dark, dark place.
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Re: So where's the scam?
« Reply #9 on: October 07, 2020, 07:25:39 pm »
Does the dildo have a built in camera and connect to the Internet to send its footage to its overlords?

That made me think of:-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wpOeLkWrlw&feature=emb_logo
Quote from: Kim
Paging Diver300.  Diver300 to the GSM Trimphone, please...

Socks

  • Clennel Street on my touring bike
Re: So where's the scam?
« Reply #10 on: October 07, 2020, 07:52:33 pm »
Isn't Baroness Dildo Harding in charge of our world beating Track and Trace system?

Re: So where's the scam?
« Reply #11 on: October 07, 2020, 08:37:25 pm »
Isn't Baroness Dildo Harding in charge of our world beating Track and Trace system?

You mean we are being shafted by it and it's not up to the job.
Sic transit and all that..

Re: So where's the scam?
« Reply #12 on: October 07, 2020, 08:39:27 pm »
Maybe she's another of Boris' horsey-female-Tory conquests.

"Call me Aeneas!  Call me Aeneas!  Oops, I appear to have spaffed my budget all over your offshore assets."
And Darkness and Decay and the Coronavirus held illimitable dominion over all.

Pingu

  • Put away those fiery biscuits!
  • Mrs Pingu's domestique
    • the Igloo
Re: So where's the scam?
« Reply #13 on: October 07, 2020, 08:55:08 pm »
>Look around
You are in a dark, dark place.

YOU ARE IN A MAZE OF TWISTY LITTLE PASSAGES, ALL ALIKE

Feanor

  • It's mostly downhill from here.
Re: So where's the scam?
« Reply #14 on: October 07, 2020, 09:01:09 pm »
>Look around
You are in a dark, dark place.

YOU ARE IN A MAZE OF TWISTY LITTLE PASSAGES, ALL ALIKE

It is pitch dark; you are likely to be eaten by a Grue.

ian

  • feat. Undead Jess & Finestre, Queen of Hell
Re: So where's the scam?
« Reply #15 on: October 08, 2020, 09:44:52 am »
I'd be worried if you found a grue up there. Or a hoard of gold coins.
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Re: So where's the scam?
« Reply #16 on: October 08, 2020, 10:07:15 am »
Reminds me of John Robertson's "The Dark Room" that he does an hour long live comedy skit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpAiW6uy_iY
"Yes please" said Squirrel "biscuits are our favourite things."

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: So where's the scam?
« Reply #17 on: October 08, 2020, 07:21:53 pm »
The nature of the package contents makes me wonder if it’s just a prank by a very bored person with more money than sense.

Back in the day, my chums and I used to take childish delight in signing up random people from the phone book to those introductory offers for book clubs that used to be advertised in newspapers and magazines. There was no financial commitment involved - you’d get three books sent on trial and either return them or pay for them. Or neither. The humour value was in selecting the ‘adult’ titles.

This also reminds me of the story I saw via APILN about a man receiving unsolicited rubber ducks in the post, also from amazon. Will post a link later if I can find it...
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: So where's the scam?
« Reply #18 on: October 08, 2020, 08:39:01 pm »
My grate frend Mr Woolrich has had a few of these and reckons it’s sellers who can’t shift their tat and balk at paying the Mega-Global Big River Corporation of Seattle, USAnia to warehouse them.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: So where's the scam?
« Reply #19 on: October 08, 2020, 09:21:32 pm »
Found the rubber ducks story:
https://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/18602116.amazon-still-sending-mysterious-rubber-ducks-man/

I expect he's glad it's rubber ducks rather than purple dildos.
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: So where's the scam?
« Reply #20 on: October 09, 2020, 12:17:17 am »
Found the rubber ducks story:
https://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/18602116.amazon-still-sending-mysterious-rubber-ducks-man/

I expect he's glad it's rubber ducks rather than purple dildos.

Pretty poor compo face though.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: So where's the scam?
« Reply #21 on: October 09, 2020, 10:42:28 am »
"Yes please" said Squirrel "biscuits are our favourite things."

T42

  • Old fool in a hurry
Re: So where's the scam?
« Reply #22 on: October 09, 2020, 02:03:58 pm »
Just wondering if the mods should merge this thread with "Confessions of a Tool Junkie" or into the "Last Film You Watched" thread under Free Willy.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

ian

  • feat. Undead Jess & Finestre, Queen of Hell
Re: So where's the scam?
« Reply #23 on: October 09, 2020, 05:15:26 pm »
I suppose the question for a Friday afternoon is why are so many dildos purple?
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Re: So where's the scam?
« Reply #24 on: October 09, 2020, 05:24:32 pm »
But was the USB cable also purple?