Author Topic: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version  (Read 8067 times)

mattc

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Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #50 on: July 08, 2019, 10:52:04 pm »
(one of the Twitterers midway down that very funny page was tennis practitioner Alison Riske, who beat the world no 1 at Wimblington today...)

Oi!

Oh, hang-on - this isn't a "no-spoilers" thread, is it ...  :facepalm:

:)
Has never ridden RAAM
---------
No.11  Because of the great host of those who dislike the least appearance of "swank " when they travel the roads and lanes. - From Kuklos' 39 Articles

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #51 on: July 09, 2019, 12:10:02 am »
Please Mr Producshunz, I has been looking at teh wellyvision adverts and it appears that if you buy an electronic pelican machine then there are two wimmins for every mans who will use it so by buying one I can get off with many cycling wimmins. Is this true?

I can't be the only person who relies on P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM®'s shitvert-free coverage who had no idea what an "electronic pelican machine" was, and - after consluting the googlewebs for enlightenment - was extremely disappointed.

(Obviously I have no need for electronic enhancement when getting off with cycling wimmins, but the prospect of a machine for producing electronic pelicans - or perhaps electronically producing pelicans - was intriguing.  An internet-of-shit pedally clotheshorse, not so much.)
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

Mr Larrington

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Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #52 on: July 09, 2019, 05:24:14 pm »
Stage 4: Reims – Nancy

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External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #53 on: July 09, 2019, 05:29:45 pm »
The official Tour de France app for Babbage engines from the famous fruitian vendor is crap. Ok, so the information is quite nicely laid out, but the updates are slow and it crashes every second time you open it up. It is free to use, which is just as well, because, as I say, it’s crap.
Sorting my life out, one shed at a time.

spesh

  • It's starting to look a lot like Cthulhumas!
Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #54 on: July 09, 2019, 06:42:57 pm »
Quote from: teh $hitverts
... Buy an Electric Pelican & a $3,000,000 penthouse 2 put it in...

 ;D :thumbsup:


"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And when you look long into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Mr Larrington

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Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #55 on: July 09, 2019, 08:26:47 pm »
Watching the highlights.  Has T Boonen had surgery to turn him into Spesh Ming The Merciless or is it just a side-effect of too much Lady Sniff?
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Pedal Castro

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Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #56 on: July 09, 2019, 08:39:08 pm »
I had the coolest ride evah today! After watching the race go by I hopped on my bike and followed the race route for a few miles to much applause and cheers “Allez, Allez”! I have had cheers etc while riding the route before the race gets there but nothing like this. :thumbsup:

spesh

  • It's starting to look a lot like Cthulhumas!
Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #57 on: July 09, 2019, 08:49:18 pm »
Watching the highlights.  Has T Boonen had surgery to turn him into Spesh Ming The Merciless or is it just a side-effect of too much Lady Sniff?

Probably male pattern baldness - he still had most of his hair in early 2013:

https://www.cyclingweekly.com/news/tom-boonen-back-in-action-after-serious-arm-infection-34108

But by the 2014 Vuelta, he'd gone for a Grade 1 buzz cut:

https://cdn-cyclingtips.pressidium.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/20140823_%C2%A9BrakeThrough-Media_3S3A3645.jpg

Before resorting to channelling Emperor Ming (Hail Ming!) in 2015:

http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/gallery-etixx-quickstep-ready-for-2015/
"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And when you look long into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Mrs Pingu

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Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #58 on: July 09, 2019, 10:12:23 pm »
He's got funny shaped ears as well.
Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

Mrs Pingu

  • Who ate all the pies? Me
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Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

Kim

  • Timelord
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

spesh

  • It's starting to look a lot like Cthulhumas!
Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #61 on: July 09, 2019, 10:23:31 pm »
https://cdn-cyclingtips.pressidium.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/20140823_%C2%A9BrakeThrough-Media_3S3A3645.jpg

Why has he got a tampon up his dose?

Embrocation/Vicks Vaporub/Olbas Oil, to open the nasal passages during the warm-up session on the rollers.

https://forums.thepaceline.net/showthread.php?t=26979

Chris Froome forgot to take them out before the prologue in 2012, resulting in some taking of the mock by, among others, Bernie Eisel.

https://twitter.com/chrisfroome/status/219155478960283649/photo/1
"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And when you look long into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #62 on: July 10, 2019, 03:03:02 pm »
I see E.Leclerc are sponsoring the KoM now. Is the Carrefour KoM hat I trampled children for during last year's caravan obsolete or retro cool now?

T42

  • Tea tank
Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #63 on: July 10, 2019, 03:40:00 pm »
Take a good look at the countryside today, people.  This is where I live.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

quixoticgeek

  • Mostly Harmless
Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #64 on: July 10, 2019, 03:41:17 pm »
Take a good look at the countryside today, people.  This is where I live.

Are all those people standing by the side of the road being in the way there all the time? Or were they ordered in specially?

Looks very pretty, tho the parking on the verges looks awful.

Also, looks lumpy...

J
--
Beer, bikes, and backpacking
http://b.42q.eu/

T42

  • Tea tank
Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #65 on: July 10, 2019, 03:47:47 pm »
We borrow the municipal tumbrils and gravel trucks to ferry them in, then they're left as fodder for the bears and the Mont St. Odile restaurant.

I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

Mr Larrington

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Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #66 on: July 10, 2019, 05:22:57 pm »
Stage 5: Saint-Dié-des-Vosges – Colmar

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Mrs Pingu

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Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #67 on: July 10, 2019, 09:56:20 pm »
Aw, there waz no storks on the highlights :(
Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
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    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #68 on: July 10, 2019, 10:34:15 pm »
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External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #69 on: July 11, 2019, 11:48:52 am »
I think today’s stage will separate the men from the boys and we’ll see who are the GC contenders and who’s just along for the ride.
Sorting my life out, one shed at a time.

T42

  • Tea tank
Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #70 on: July 11, 2019, 02:22:22 pm »
Aw, there waz no storks on the highlights :(

Lazy buggers can't climb.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #71 on: July 11, 2019, 02:26:56 pm »
Aw, there waz no storks on the highlights :(

Lazy buggers can't climb.
Are you saying something or just vocalising below listening volume? I can't tell talk from mutter.

T42

  • Tea tank
Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #72 on: July 11, 2019, 04:16:37 pm »
Betcha de Gendt aches.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #73 on: July 11, 2019, 04:25:55 pm »
Betcha de Gendt aches.
not as much as he will first thing tomorrow morning.  ;D
Sorting my life out, one shed at a time.

Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #74 on: July 11, 2019, 04:56:28 pm »
I’m exhausted watching that!
Sorting my life out, one shed at a time.