Author Topic: The golden rule of being in a tent.  (Read 5607 times)

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
The golden rule of being in a tent.
« on: July 06, 2019, 10:55:18 am »
Nothing is ever where you put it.

The head torch, placed carefully so that you could find it in the dark for pee o’clock? Gone.
The clean clothes ready for tomorrow? Mixed in with the dirty.
The stuff sacs? You are sure you brought them aren’t you?
The water bottle? Follow the trickle...

If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #1 on: July 06, 2019, 11:38:35 am »
Yes the silk liner can follow you to the loo. Ensure is detached if putting on your shorts.
Get a bicycle. You will never regret it, if you live- Mark Twain

Phil W

Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #2 on: July 06, 2019, 12:37:09 pm »
The ground is never as flat as it looked when you pitched the tent.

Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #3 on: July 06, 2019, 01:40:31 pm »
That quiet country lane adjacent to the site that you saw when you pitched up in the evening turns out to be a major transport artery during the early morning rush hour.
Haggerty F, Haggerty R, Tomkins, Noble, Carrick, Robson, Crapper, Dewhurst, Macintyre, Treadmore, Davitt.

T42

  • Old fool in a hurry
Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #4 on: July 06, 2019, 02:06:39 pm »
Cows are perfectly capable of leaving that nice field way away over there and coming to see what this strange object is that has mushroomed up a couple of hundred yards away overnight.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #5 on: July 06, 2019, 05:55:19 pm »
Earwigs.  Sometimes slugs, spiders, ants, moths, midges, hedgehogs, etc.  But always earwigs.  If the current site doesn't have any, there's probably some lurking in the tent from last time.
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

Basil

  • Um....err......oh bugger!
  • Help me!
Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #6 on: July 06, 2019, 06:20:57 pm »
The sound of someone, who couldn't be bothered to make it as far as the toilet black, peeing uncomfortably close by.
Quote from: Kim
And remember that friends who organise things on Facebook aren't proper friends anyway.

Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #7 on: July 06, 2019, 06:37:23 pm »
There will be bits of mud / sand / grass (delete as applicable) in everything. *Everything*.

The sound and world-shaking horror of someone tripping over your guy ropes, no matter where you pitched your tent.

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #8 on: July 06, 2019, 07:41:04 pm »
you shoudl be safe from earwigs and woodlouses this year, they're all in my garden

There is the same dread in a tent as a tropical hotel room, close everything up and then you hear the high-pitched bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz of a lone mossie.
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Basil

  • Um....err......oh bugger!
  • Help me!
Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #9 on: July 06, 2019, 07:55:51 pm »
Some Bugger in a nearby tent has a squeaky air bed, and they are a very restless sleeper.
Quote from: Kim
And remember that friends who organise things on Facebook aren't proper friends anyway.

Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #10 on: July 06, 2019, 07:57:59 pm »
The golden rule of tents is that manufacturers are all Lilliputian midgets and therefore their tent specifications should be viewed accordingly.

Vince

  • Can't climb; won't climb
Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #11 on: July 06, 2019, 07:58:55 pm »
Every tent comes with microscopic flying insects that bounce around the tent's ridge.

The tent that had plenty of length  to stretch out when tested in the shop will have shrunk subtly when pitched in the wild.
216km from Marsh Gibbon

Basil

  • Um....err......oh bugger!
  • Help me!
Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #12 on: July 06, 2019, 08:55:06 pm »
A lovely dry night.  The heavy rain starts 15 minutes before you strike your tent.
Quote from: Kim
And remember that friends who organise things on Facebook aren't proper friends anyway.

Phil W

Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #13 on: July 06, 2019, 09:59:11 pm »
If you wild camp in a lovely spot in Scotland with fine views and a light wind. By the morning it will be completely still, your tent will be covered in dew, and a squadron of midges will be waiting outside. Your tent packing will hit new lows of quality and new highs in terms of speed.

Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #14 on: July 06, 2019, 10:46:45 pm »
It’s probably better than not.
L'enfer, c'est les autos.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Eating all the pies and drinking all the tea.
Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #15 on: July 07, 2019, 10:23:11 am »
It's both small and immense at once. You can sit in there and your whole world seems to be contained in one enclosed, shadowed space.  At the same time, you can look out the door and the entire world starts at your feet. Best experienced when it's raining.
Days become simply the spaces between dreams, spaces between the shifting floors of time...

T42

  • Old fool in a hurry
Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #16 on: July 07, 2019, 10:35:32 am »
People will never burgle a tent so it's OK to leave your valuables inside when you're over the hills & far away.  Honest.  At least it was in the 60s & 70s. Mostly. I think. Well we did.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

Phil W

Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #17 on: July 07, 2019, 04:39:03 pm »
Cows are perfectly capable of leaving that nice field way away over there and coming to see what this strange object is that has mushroomed up a couple of hundred yards away overnight.

Late 80's I was backpacking the Pembrokeshire coastal path. One night I stopped at a farm on the path and he let me pitch the tent in a field overlooking a small cove.  I had supper, watched the sunset, read a little, and eventually retired to bed. Before going to sleep I filled up a pan with water for the morning.

In the morning I awoke to the tent swaying violently but could not hear any wind like sounds.  Unzipping the inner I came face to face with a cow who had popped it's head under the outer and was drinking from my pan of water.  I'd found the cause of the violent swaying.

T42

  • Old fool in a hurry
Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #18 on: July 07, 2019, 05:01:40 pm »
My father once woke up to a terrifying wooshing noise and found a cow rubbing its nose up & down the canvas. Curious beasts.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

quixoticgeek

  • Mostly Harmless
Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #19 on: July 07, 2019, 08:56:51 pm »

No matter how dehydrated you are, how recently you pee'd, the act of crawling into your tent, snuggling down into your sleeping bag, and getting comfortable, will be enough to fill the bladder, and necessitate getting out of the tent, to wander across the site to the loo block.

Every single time.

J
--
Beer, bikes, and backpacking
http://b.42q.eu/

Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #20 on: July 07, 2019, 08:58:35 pm »
The worst hangovers seem to coincide perfectly with the sunniest mornings.
Rust never sleeps

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #21 on: July 07, 2019, 09:02:28 pm »
No matter how dehydrated you are, how recently you pee'd, the act of crawling into your tent, snuggling down into your sleeping bag, and getting comfortable rain starting, once you're safely in your tent, will be enough to fill the bladder, and necessitate getting out of the tent, to wander across the site to the loo block.

Every single time.

FTFY...
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #22 on: July 08, 2019, 04:49:05 pm »
If you are ever wild camping on the cliff top at Arnamurchan don't be too alarmed if in the dead of night you hear a pack of dogs barking outside your tent. They will be seals mating on the rocks below.  ;)
Most people tip-toe through life hoping the make it safely to death.
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Basil

  • Um....err......oh bugger!
  • Help me!
Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #23 on: July 08, 2019, 05:19:21 pm »
Ah yes. Wild camping.
No matter how far from civilisation, no matter how secluded and hidden the spot you have chosen, there will be a dog walker at 6am. The dog will shout a lot due to the strange shape that has appeared on its morning route.
Quote from: Kim
And remember that friends who organise things on Facebook aren't proper friends anyway.

T42

  • Old fool in a hurry
Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #24 on: July 09, 2019, 08:03:20 am »
Wild - or as they say here, savage - camping is the only kind I've ever done.  "Loo block" as mentioned above conjures rather images of wee purple things clipped under the rims of toilet bowls as a pretence of hygiene.

Anyway, one of the things I've noticed is that when you camp on a pleasant green sward halfway up a Welsh mountain in the gathering dark with a promising wind getting up, the tent pegs will either go all the way in with zero resistance or will go down an inch and then hit rock.  We spent one entertaining night near Abergogodknowswheregogogoch in a thin cloth tent held by horizontally-driven pegs.  Still don't know how the damn thing held.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.