Author Topic: The golden rule of being in a tent.  (Read 5078 times)

Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #25 on: July 09, 2019, 11:11:11 am »
The couple in the camper van next door -watching with interest as you pitch in the rain- with hot and cold running water, gas cooker, sat TV etc will take pity on you and suggest you join them for dinner...

No it's fine we prefer it this way and we've carried our freeze dried pasta over the mountain ourselves (bike or foot) but your fresh baked bread and hearty casserole does smell rather good....
Duct tape is magic and should be worshipped

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #26 on: July 09, 2019, 08:09:11 pm »
your brand new rubber mallet, pegs for the knocking in of, decides to self destruct on first use, much to the amusement of the gathered campsite
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #27 on: July 09, 2019, 08:20:16 pm »
your brand new rubber mallet, pegs for the knocking in of, decides to self destruct on first use, much to the amusement of the gathered campsite

This can't happen, because it requires not having left it at home.

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #28 on: July 09, 2019, 08:23:13 pm »
your brand new rubber mallet, pegs for the knocking in of, decides to self destruct on first use, much to the amusement of the gathered campsite

This can't happen, because it requires not having left it at home.

Given soft enough ground, it's possible to remember the mallet.
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #29 on: July 09, 2019, 11:52:42 pm »
You may think that by going to the other end of the site and pitching in the thistles on a slope, you're far enough away from the camper with the slam shut sliding door, but all you've done is challenged them to demonstrate you haven't.

Porkins

  • Formerly Nick H. And a long time ago etc, Eurostar
Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #30 on: July 10, 2019, 12:43:29 am »
If you cheekily wild camp on some perfectly flat, manicured lawn, you will be woken at 3 am by water shooting up into the tent from the sprinkler system.

T42

  • Old fool in a hurry
Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #31 on: July 10, 2019, 08:03:39 am »
Before crawling out in the early morn and washing your face in the crystal stream by your door, look upstream and make sure that no luxury campers have arrived in the night and pitched not only a vast tent but also a portable outhouse which backs onto that selfsame stream.

And before you ask: yes, in Braemar, about 100 yards away. :sick:
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

Phil W

Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #32 on: July 10, 2019, 11:12:33 am »
Or do the same from a stream, only to find a dead sheep when you climb upstream on your way up the mountain.

T42

  • Old fool in a hurry
Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #33 on: July 10, 2019, 12:56:07 pm »
Conventional wisdom has it that 40 feet over gravel cleans out any pollution. Or is it yards? Or was it 100 of them..?
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

Pedaldog

  • M' back!
  • Contemplating the ashes of experience.
Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #34 on: July 10, 2019, 09:15:04 pm »
Conventional wisdom has it that 40 feet over gravel cleans out any pollution. Or is it yards? Or was it 100 of them..?
100 Dead Sheep?

quixoticgeek

  • Mostly Harmless
Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #35 on: July 12, 2019, 03:27:37 pm »

When wild camping, no matter what location you choose to bivvi down in, there is always a better location 500m along the road. You'll only discover this the next morning when you have moved on...

J
--
Beer, bikes, and backpacking
http://b.42q.eu/

Phil W

Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #36 on: July 12, 2019, 05:56:22 pm »
The warmest spot when camping in snow is in the middle.  This requires recruiting two others unaware of this little fact.

Phil W

Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #37 on: July 18, 2019, 08:15:26 pm »
If you camp on a flat spot in the boulder field near Pen-Y-Pass youth hostel. You will find out it is a helipad in the morning.

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #38 on: July 18, 2019, 08:37:14 pm »
 ;D ;D
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

Speshact

  • Charlie
Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #39 on: July 20, 2019, 04:30:43 pm »
...in the summer in France is that, regardless of what was forecast, there will be a full on thunder storm resulting in a flash river running under your tent, and violent hail, and a wind fierce enough to remove some of the tent pegs however well you tried to put them in.

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #40 on: July 26, 2019, 02:56:47 am »
So far so good.

Although, to be fair, I haven’t looked for anything yet...
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #41 on: July 26, 2019, 03:05:40 am »
Fuckssake. Someone’s just traversed the site to trip on my guy ropes.

Oh, it’s a couple. “What kind of tent have you got?”

Hopefully when they find it it is too far away for the copulation sounds to reach here...
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

Phil W

Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #42 on: July 26, 2019, 09:32:18 am »
The contents of your rucksack will expand to fill the available space in the tent.

T42

  • Old fool in a hurry
Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #43 on: July 26, 2019, 09:51:34 am »
...and will then become too voluminous to fit the rucksack.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #44 on: July 26, 2019, 09:52:45 am »
Also true of any hotel room and suitcase, no matter how minimalist you are as a packer.  I've had 15 years of "This fitted on the way here"
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Cudzoziemiec

  • Eating all the pies and drinking all the tea.
Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #45 on: August 08, 2019, 10:05:28 am »
You set up your tent somewhere clean and level, but shortly afterwards some people arrive a few pitches away with a small yappy dog. The small yappy dog is tethered in front of their tent or caravan on a rope at least six pitches long and it will inevitably choose to use the full extent of this to lick your pots and pans when your back is turned then shit behind your tent.
Days become simply the spaces between dreams, spaces between the shifting floors of time...

vorsprung

  • Opposites Attract
    • Audaxing
Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #46 on: August 08, 2019, 10:42:47 am »
Audaxing Blog follow @vorsprungbike on

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #47 on: August 08, 2019, 10:12:43 pm »
you set you rbivvy up in a nice location away from anyone else, with a nice view and then the family from Bolton arrive in two cars, massive tent, argumentative sh!ts.

At least the midges prefer them to flying through the smoke of your campfire
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Phil W

Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #48 on: August 11, 2019, 03:13:37 pm »
If you have been drinking late with mates.  They will put bits of bread on and around your tent to ensure you wake with the dawn chorus. You will not find this amusing.

Basil

  • Um....err......oh bugger!
  • Help me!
Re: The golden rule of being in a tent.
« Reply #49 on: August 11, 2019, 03:26:00 pm »
In 1976 we1 were hitch hiking from LA to Bisbee AZ and wild camped near Flagstaff.  In the morning we had disturbed something that had spent the night under our groundsheet. Not amused to see a snake track leading from the tent when I was packing up.   :o

1 An earlier Mrs B.
Quote from: Kim
And remember that friends who organise things on Facebook aren't proper friends anyway.