Author Topic: Media Website lists 18 reasons why my home town is an amazing place to live!  (Read 997 times)

18 reasons why Farnborough is an amazing place to live
1. Vue Cinema
2. Village Pub and Grill
3. Easy access to London
4. The Snow Goose pub
5. Southwood Woodland
6. TAG Farnborough Airport
7. It has two McDonald's
8. Hawley Woods
9. Farnborough Gate (shopping)*
10. Asda
11. B&Q
12. Costa Coffee Drive-Thru
13. TeamSport Indoor Go Karting
14. 360 Play (children's play area)*
15. Cove Tandoori
16. Marts Fish And Chips
17. Sky Bar (bar in posh hotel)*
18. It's got a Costco
* my explanations in brackets

Oh dear - I hope that it is tounge in cheek.  But maybe not- we are planning to move away as soon as we can.

How about listing reasons why your home town is amazing.



Pingu

  • Put away those fiery biscuits!
  • Mrs Pingu's domestique
    • the Igloo
Amazing doesn't necessarily mean good  ;)

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
I wouldn't include a Village Hotel in reasons for amazingness.

In my case

Village
- has the remains of the former summer palace of the Bishops of Ely
- NCN 11 runs right through it, as do two long distance walking routes
- great village pub that serves the best Thai food for miles

Ely
- 11th century cathedral
- rail links to London or Brum in less than two hours
- some very good pubs
- thriving farmers market every other week
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

we are planning to move away as soon as we can.

Have you considered Market Harborough? It's a very 'liveable' place apparently.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2019/jul/21/market-harborough-most-liveable-place-in-england--homes-we-can-afford



benborp

  • benbravoorpapa
We now three businesses in the village, recently we were down to just one - the chateau continues to produce high quality Cognac and Pineau, the fruit warehouse has been re-purposed as a bouncy castle storage and distribution centre. The re-opening of the swingers' club marks a possible upturn in the village's fortunes.
A world of bedlam trapped inside a small cyclist.

robgul

  • HoECC & Cycle:End-to-End webmaster, S Warwickshire Bike Shop in Wellesbourne
  • . . cyclist, Cytech accredited, manages an LBS
    • Cycle:End-to-End
We've got that guy that (allegedly) wrote a few plays some while ago - he attracts quite a lot of tourists, although most of them seem to find Poundland, M&S, The Works and Ye Olde Fudge Shoppe more interesting, rather than the themed attractions.

Rob

Cudzoziemiec

  • Solar powered, tea fuelled cycle-wol
I started to make a list of all the places that have never been listed as amazing to live in or visit, but I couldn't find any.
sideways bounding monkey lounging under fruit tree

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
My corner of Outer Suburbia is fine by me.

I do not see it as amazing or wonderful in any way.

It has good public transport links with central London, good local shops, too many Costa Coffee outlets, easy access to multiple dreadful shopping malls, multiple obesogenic outlets, a few moribund pubs and a declining number of McDonald's 'restaurants'.

Wowbagger

  • Dez's butler
    • Musings of a Gentleman Cyclist
The Uk’s finest vegan pub (allegedly)
Wilko Johnson
A very fine park
“The UK’s Tutankhamen”

A pier and a lot of kiss me quick hats.
Oh, Bach without any doubt. Bach every time for me.

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
My corner of Outer Suburbia is fine by me.

I do not see it as amazing or wonderful in any way.

It has good public transport links with central London, good local shops, too many Costa Coffee outlets, easy access to multiple dreadful shopping malls, multiple obesogenic outlets, a few moribund pubs and a declining number of McDonald's 'restaurants'.

Public transport links, I've heard of those
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Tim Hall

  • I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes
The Uk’s finest vegan pub (allegedly)
Wilko Johnson
A very fine park
“The UK’s Tutankhamen”

A pier and a lot of kiss me quick hats.
A radio station designed by Saint Simon de Legg Bandage.
There are two ways you can get exercise out of a bicycle: you can
"overhaul" it, or you can ride it.  (Jerome K Jerome)

Swindon:

Six McDonald'ses

Er...
Never tell me the odds.

Amazing doesn't necessarily mean good  ;)
Amazingstoke being the proof of that.  Although it's not as bad since it got rich.  It used to be exactly like Swindon is now.
Never tell me the odds.

robgul

  • HoECC & Cycle:End-to-End webmaster, S Warwickshire Bike Shop in Wellesbourne
  • . . cyclist, Cytech accredited, manages an LBS
    • Cycle:End-to-End
Swindon:

Six McDonald'ses

Er...

Isn't the other measure the number of Greggs and/or Subway outlets?   (We have 2 of each here in SuA)

Rob

Swindon:

Six McDonald'ses

Er...

Apparently, Glasgow's got 18. Plus 50 Greggs and 41 Subway!

Given the 'new town' nature of Bracknell and the recent rebuild of the town centre* I fear such a list for my place of residence would be similarly retail biased. Though it could also include an Olympic sized ice rink and a dry ski slope.

We also have the Swinley Forest land with it's mountain bike trails and hiking routes that were at one point considered for the 2012 events before they were moved to Essex.





* Now formally called the "Lexicon"

IanDG

  • The p*** artist formerly known as 'Windy'
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I remember the Western Isles appearing top of a 'happiest place to live' poll in 2018 - wouldn't think so from the smiles and moans of the locals.

https://www.scotsman.com/regions/inverness-highlands-islands/happiest-places-in-scotland-revealed-and-the-most-miserable-1-4806401

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
My original home town? Hmm. Even the heroin wasn't renowned for being particularly good, but where there wasn't quality there was certainly quantity. The only thing there was more of was racism (other forms of bigotry are available). The main industry was being pissed off about the mines closing as though that alone might make them re-open and new coal miraculously appear. The most famous resident was DH Lawrence, who while notable for his pioneering profanity, was by all accounts a bit of a dick and didn't really wax lyrical about the place and got out as quickly as possible and didn't go back. Oh, and the impenetrable dialect which means every Lawrence adaptation seems to feature people speaking RADA Yorkshire. That said, the first thing people do when escaping is lose the accent. Or try to, it tends to follow you and crop up when you least expect. It's the dialectical equivalent of a stalker.

It's probably got better but I've no plans to visit it more than once a year to see my parents. I think the happiest moment of my life was getting on the train to university.

Current home town is Surrey commuterville on the fringe of London. It's not a bad place, just a bit dull. The high street is dying shopfront-by-shopfront, there's two pubs neither of which encourage a second visit and a clutch of middling if uninspiring restaurants. Generally, it's an encouragement to get the train into London or simply stay there in an evening. In theory, it has potential, there's a large affluent population which money to spend, but the high street (despite a bypass) is a busy road, rents and business rates are expensive, and everyone seems obsessed with parking (as though if someone overcomes the issues with quantum parking that allows several vehicles to park in the same space at the same time everyone will suddenly arrive and it'll be a boom town). There's another supermarket opening, so we'll have three within 30 seconds of each other, each with parking.
Yeah, that's what the place needs, yet another supermarket. There's a nice annual festival with lots of events.
!nataS pihsroW

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
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Our High Street may or may not contain the longest market in whichever geographical region a hyped-up feature writer has plucked out of thin air, and also has about half a dozen branches of Poundland.  Possibly one fewer as the main shopping centre caught fire yesterday.  If Waterstones got roasted I'll be this: miffed.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Didn't Jesse Boot, Raleigh bicycles and lace come from DH Lawrence's home town?

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Didn't Jesse Boot, Raleigh bicycles and lace come from DH Lawrence's home town?

Boots, lace and Raleigh are from 'down Nottingham' an inconceivably distant seven miles yonder. That said, the remainder of Raleigh did relocate there a few years ago and still seems to be there.

My mother worked in the textile industry there for most of her working life till the work disappeared to the far east.
!nataS pihsroW

Tim Hall

  • I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes
My original home town? Hmm. Even the heroin wasn't renowned for being particularly good, but where there wasn't quality there was certainly quantity. The only thing there was more of was racism (other forms of bigotry are available). The main industry was being pissed off about the mines closing as though that alone might make them re-open and new coal miraculously appear. The most famous resident was DH Lawrence, who while notable for his pioneering profanity, was by all accounts a bit of a dick and didn't really wax lyrical about the place and got out as quickly as possible and didn't go back. Oh, and the impenetrable dialect which means every Lawrence adaptation seems to feature people speaking RADA Yorkshire. That said, the first thing people do when escaping is lose the accent. Or try to, it tends to follow you and crop up when you least expect. It's the dialectical equivalent of a stalker.

It's probably got better but I've no plans to visit it more than once a year to see my parents. I think the happiest moment of my life was getting on the train to university.

Current home town is Surrey commuterville on the fringe of London. It's not a bad place, just a bit dull. The high street is dying shopfront-by-shopfront, there's two pubs neither of which encourage a second visit and a clutch of middling if uninspiring restaurants. Generally, it's an encouragement to get the train into London or simply stay there in an evening. In theory, it has potential, there's a large affluent population which money to spend, but the high street (despite a bypass) is a busy road, rents and business rates are expensive, and everyone seems obsessed with parking (as though if someone overcomes the issues with quantum parking that allows several vehicles to park in the same space at the same time everyone will suddenly arrive and it'll be a boom town). There's another supermarket opening, so we'll have three within 30 seconds of each other, each with parking.
Yeah, that's what the place needs, yet another supermarket. There's a nice annual festival with lots of events.

Doesn't your current town also boast the Ann Summers Sex Toy test track?  Surely that puts it high on some sort of list.
There are two ways you can get exercise out of a bicycle: you can
"overhaul" it, or you can ride it.  (Jerome K Jerome)

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Oh yes, Area 69, the Ann Summer's Sex Toys Proving Grounds. There's a persistent low level buzzing noise and, at night, a hot pink glow on the horizon.

For those with an interest in things both animal and tribological, a tanker of lard once crashed on the steep hill next door to it, though that was before we moved there. I only mention this because the story started with the words [a] greasy load spilled onto the road in Succomb's Hill, Warlingham early this afternoon.

There's also, if Google Maps is to be believed, a naturist club behind it.

So there you go: sex toys, nudity, and a tanker-load of (inadvisable) porcine-derived lubricant.
!nataS pihsroW

Kim

  • Timelord
Hmm, while ian's posts are normally unquestionable, it seems unlikely that Ann Summers sex toys are subject to any kind of testing process...
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
It may disappoint you all, but I have no Ann Summers sex toys so I can't validate their quality control. It strikes me that there could be some inopportune product failures that would result in the sort of the things A&E doctors enjoy telling their friends about, so let's hope they do.

Apparently, you can buy such 'bedroom aids' online these days, guaranteed to arrive in plain boxes with a no-buzzing guarantee (probably on the latter). I know this because a tipsy friend told me before realising that she'd revealed too much about her online purchasing habits. Knowledge, of course, that I never, ever mention.

My wife's suitcase came out on the luggage carousel at Heathrow once buzzing loudly. We're now at a sensible age where the culprit was an electric toothbrush. Well, she is, I may have loudly claimed it was something else.
!nataS pihsroW