Author Topic: The Rise (and Fall) of the Suburban Main Battle Tank  (Read 9597 times)

Re: The Rise (and Fall) of the Suburban Main Battle Tank
« Reply #75 on: October 04, 2019, 02:39:35 pm »
And if you're only invading the Crimea occssionally, then you retain the element of surprise by not manoeuvring your tank every time you go to the shops.

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ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: The Rise (and Fall) of the Suburban Main Battle Tank
« Reply #76 on: October 04, 2019, 02:50:32 pm »
From this article in the Grauniad -
Collision course: why are cars killing more and more pedestrians?

And more Americans than ever are zipping around in SUVs and pickup trucks, which, thanks to their height, weight and shape are between two and three times more likely to kill people they hit.

Yes, but soon there will be no pedestrians, so all will be good. We'll all be greasing up and levering our wheezing, wobbling, ventripotent bulks into our wheeled behemoths so we can struggle to megastores surrounded by an airport-sized car park to buy tortilla chips in bags big enough to sleep in.

But to be serious, any decline in road deaths and injuries these days seems to come about from scaring off more vulnerable road users. Or killing them. They'll learn one way or the other.

Frankly, unless you've a genuine need to tow an elephant or something, I think the average urban owner of one of these massive vehicles is probably being a bit of a cunt. And if it's a marque of Range Rover, definitely a cunt.

As I have a marque of Land Rover, I must just be a bit of a cunt
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Cudzoziemiec

  • Dormant but requires tea
Re: The Rise (and Fall) of the Suburban Main Battle Tank
« Reply #77 on: October 04, 2019, 03:13:26 pm »
And if you're only invading the Crimea occssionally, then you retain the element of surprise by not manoeuvring your tank every time you go to the shops.

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Or you could call your tank Florence and hide it under a sign 'Beware of the Lampart'.
The unwilling rider and the one who leaves each control in turn without reluctance, with no desire to come back, obviously cannot be making the same journey, even though their brevets are identical.

Re: The Rise (and Fall) of the Suburban Main Battle Tank
« Reply #78 on: October 04, 2019, 03:26:14 pm »


As I have a marque of Land Rover, I must just be a bit of a cunt

Like anyone else I count myself as the product of a cunt and a dick, with the cunt being the more important part. I can't see how that relates to the vehicle you drive.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: The Rise (and Fall) of the Suburban Main Battle Tank
« Reply #79 on: October 05, 2019, 12:56:53 pm »
My theory is that you're planning to, say, invade the Crimea, you need a tank. If you're planning to go shopping at Sainsbury's, you don't.

If the main reason you have a car is your weekly trip to Sainsbury's you are wasting loadsmoney! A year's Anytime Delivery Pass is £60 a year for online shopping but if you prefer to do your own shoppnig cabs are MUCH more economical.

handcyclist

  • watch for my signal
Re: The Rise (and Fall) of the Suburban Main Battle Tank
« Reply #80 on: October 05, 2019, 02:17:10 pm »
I have a SMBT and a bike.

I shop by bike  ;D
Doubt is is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: The Rise (and Fall) of the Suburban Main Battle Tank
« Reply #81 on: October 05, 2019, 02:56:09 pm »
Bike has the distinct advantage for shopping of being bike-rack-to-door, rather than middle-of-car-park to halfway-up-the-hill-on-the-other-side-of-the-street.  Which is what I tend to point out to non-cyclists when they comment on how much stuff I'm loading onto the bike.

You can't car your way out of parking problems.
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

fuzzy (retd.) AAGE

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Re: The Rise (and Fall) of the Suburban Main Battle Tank
« Reply #82 on: October 05, 2019, 11:54:58 pm »
In the vein of never take a knife to a gunfight- never take a Micra to a car crash.....
Quote from: tatanab
The mark of a true cyclist - prepared to try anything on offer

If it ain't bad for you it ain't worth doing

Re: The Rise (and Fall) of the Suburban Main Battle Tank
« Reply #83 on: October 06, 2019, 09:11:33 am »
Bike has the distinct advantage for shopping of being bike-rack-to-door, rather than middle-of-car-park to halfway-up-the-hill-on-the-other-side-of-the-street.  Which is what I tend to point out to non-cyclists when they comment on how much stuff I'm loading onto the bike.

You can't car your way out of parking problems.

To door? When your shopping has wheels on it can carry on to the kitchen. If shopping for more than can fit on a bike, the same applies if you get it delivered and ask the delivery person to bring it in.
Quote from: tiermat
that's not science, it's semantics.

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: The Rise (and Fall) of the Suburban Main Battle Tank
« Reply #84 on: October 06, 2019, 06:46:09 pm »
From this article in the Grauniad -
Collision course: why are cars killing more and more pedestrians?

And more Americans than ever are zipping around in SUVs and pickup trucks, which, thanks to their height, weight and shape are between two and three times more likely to kill people they hit.

Yes, but soon there will be no pedestrians, so all will be good. We'll all be greasing up and levering our wheezing, wobbling, ventripotent bulks into our wheeled behemoths so we can struggle to megastores surrounded by an airport-sized car park to buy tortilla chips in bags big enough to sleep in.

But to be serious, any decline in road deaths and injuries these days seems to come about from scaring off more vulnerable road users. Or killing them. They'll learn one way or the other.

Frankly, unless you've a genuine need to tow an elephant or something, I think the average urban owner of one of these massive vehicles is probably being a bit of a cunt. And if it's a marque of Range Rover, definitely a cunt.

As I have a marque of Land Rover, I must just be a bit of a cunt

I dunno. Are you towing elephants or planning to invade a neighbouring country? Those are your get-out clauses.

We do the shopping by car, though it's a Ka, so about the size of the trolley. I suppose we could get it delivered but it's a pain in the arse since I'm a random shopper and I don't know what I want until I see it.
!nataS pihsroW

Torslanda

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Re: The Rise (and Fall) of the Suburban Main Battle Tank
« Reply #85 on: October 06, 2019, 08:57:07 pm »
Quote
I'm looking outside the office window at the huge Volvo X70 with a slab of a grill my boss drives.

The X(C?)70 is a medium sized estate car with AWD and about a 30mm lift over the vanilla version. It's the same size as a Mondeo (07 on) estate and shares a lot of that car's underpinnings.

Not a SMBT at all.
VELOMANCER

Well that's the more blunt way of putting it but as usual he's dead right.

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: The Rise (and Fall) of the Suburban Main Battle Tank
« Reply #86 on: October 06, 2019, 10:18:53 pm »
Bike has the distinct advantage for shopping of being bike-rack-to-door, rather than middle-of-car-park to halfway-up-the-hill-on-the-other-side-of-the-street.  Which is what I tend to point out to non-cyclists when they comment on how much stuff I'm loading onto the bike.

You can't car your way out of parking problems.

To door? When your shopping has wheels on it can carry on to the kitchen.

We live in the world's least wheelchair accessible house, and a Y-frame large won't fit through a standard door frame unless you unload it and turn it sideways.
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

FifeingEejit

  • Not Small
Re: The Rise (and Fall) of the Suburban Main Battle Tank
« Reply #87 on: October 07, 2019, 07:43:33 am »
You can't car your way out of parking problems.

No, but you can time your way out of parking problems, shopping at 2am when even the shelf stacking activity is reduced is much less stressful.

The down side is you have to use self service between midnight and 6am.

Edit: Alcomahol drinkers may see it otherways.


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Re: The Rise (and Fall) of the Suburban Main Battle Tank
« Reply #89 on: October 07, 2019, 10:02:26 am »
Quote
I'm looking outside the office window at the huge Volvo X70 with a slab of a grill my boss drives.

The X(C?)70 is a medium sized estate car with AWD and about a 30mm lift over the vanilla version. It's the same size as a Mondeo (07 on) estate and shares a lot of that car's underpinnings.

Not a SMBT at all.

Alright it's an XC90, which shows how much interest I have in the thing
Duct tape is magic and should be worshipped

Re: The Rise (and Fall) of the Suburban Main Battle Tank
« Reply #90 on: October 07, 2019, 10:12:18 am »
You can't car your way out of parking problems.

No, but you can time your way out of parking problems, shopping at 2am when even the shelf stacking activity is reduced is much less stressful.

The down side is you have to use self service between midnight and 6am.

Edit: Alcomahol drinkers may see it otherways.


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Sainsbury's was quiet at 9 o clock on Saturday evening. It was quite a depressing experience though. Better that than trying at 10 o clock on a wet Sunday morning which is why we did it (and yes we drove)
Duct tape is magic and should be worshipped

FifeingEejit

  • Not Small
Re: The Rise (and Fall) of the Suburban Main Battle Tank
« Reply #91 on: October 07, 2019, 10:56:12 am »
You can't car your way out of parking problems.

No, but you can time your way out of parking problems, shopping at 2am when even the shelf stacking activity is reduced is much less stressful.

The down side is you have to use self service between midnight and 6am.

Edit: Alcomahol drinkers may see it otherways.


Sent from my BKL-L09 using Tapatalk

Sainsbury's was quiet at 9 o clock on Saturday evening. It was quite a depressing experience though. Better that than trying at 10 o clock on a wet Sunday morning which is why we did it (and yes we drove)
I possibly see shopping as an important survival function and therefore don't care about the enjoyment factor.

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Kim

  • Timelord
Re: The Rise (and Fall) of the Suburban Main Battle Tank
« Reply #92 on: October 07, 2019, 11:26:18 am »
You can't car your way out of parking problems.

No, but you can time your way out of parking problems, shopping at 2am when even the shelf stacking activity is reduced is much less stressful.

During term time, our road's just as clogged with parked cars at 2am as it is during the day.  I've rarely had trouble parking at a supermarket, you just have to walk a little further (which is fine when you've got a trolley to carry all the stuff in one go).
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

Re: The Rise (and Fall) of the Suburban Main Battle Tank
« Reply #93 on: October 07, 2019, 01:41:42 pm »
I loved a Mercedes wank panzer yesterday. Absolutely shattered and 2km left to finish of the event and got tucked in behind one for a while to shield from the hideous headwind that genuinely had swung  around to be a headwind all day

Re: The Rise (and Fall) of the Suburban Main Battle Tank
« Reply #94 on: October 07, 2019, 01:48:20 pm »
During term time, our road's just as clogged with parked cars at 2am as it is during the day.  I've rarely had trouble parking at a supermarket, you just have to walk a little further (which is fine when you've got a trolley to carry all the stuff in one go).

You could surely double park for a bit to unload at 2 am.

Or you could just go by bike in the daytime.

FifeingEejit

  • Not Small
Re: The Rise (and Fall) of the Suburban Main Battle Tank
« Reply #95 on: October 07, 2019, 01:49:37 pm »
You can't car your way out of parking problems.

No, but you can time your way out of parking problems, shopping at 2am when even the shelf stacking activity is reduced is much less stressful.

During term time, our road's just as clogged with parked cars at 2am as it is during the day.  I've rarely had trouble parking at a supermarket, you just have to walk a little further (which is fine when you've got a trolley to carry all the stuff in one go).

Ah I forget, not everyone has the advantage of off street parking at home.

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: The Rise (and Fall) of the Suburban Main Battle Tank
« Reply #96 on: October 07, 2019, 04:13:17 pm »
During term time, our road's just as clogged with parked cars at 2am as it is during the day.  I've rarely had trouble parking at a supermarket, you just have to walk a little further (which is fine when you've got a trolley to carry all the stuff in one go).

You could surely double park for a bit to unload at 2 am.

There are some double-yellow lines I tend to use for that sort of thing (well, things that are more unwieldy than shopping), but usually I just...

Quote
just go by bike in the daytime.
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

Re: The Rise (and Fall) of the Suburban Main Battle Tank
« Reply #97 on: October 07, 2019, 06:10:44 pm »
Sorry not to be in touch, but what is an SMBT?

In terms of weight, some of my past vehicles have included:


TVR 1600M          850kgs?
Nissan 200SX    1,249kgs
Nissan Primera  1,300kgs
MG ZT260         1,770kgs (ouch!)
Peugeot 107         850kgs
Peugeot 309         900kgs
Volvo XC70 (P2) 1,714kgs  - currently sitting outside looking unloved
Tesla Model 3     1,847kgs (ouch, but it does carry c.500kgs of batteries everywhere)

I was quite taken aback to find an e-tron weighs over 2.5 tonnes and an i-pace 2.2 tonnes...



Kim

  • Timelord
Re: The Rise (and Fall) of the Suburban Main Battle Tank
« Reply #98 on: October 07, 2019, 06:43:22 pm »
Sorry not to be in touch, but what is an SMBT?

Suburban Main Battle Tank, presumably.  Not to be confused with an SMGT, which is a marginally heavier (and much more fun to ride) touring bike.
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

Re: The Rise (and Fall) of the Suburban Main Battle Tank
« Reply #99 on: October 07, 2019, 07:37:43 pm »
Unpopular opinion: These things are only marginally bigger than normal cars, and just about all of the criticisms of them applies equally to any car.

Indeed, all cars are getting bigger, heavier, partly due to crash regulations, partly due to, errr, other reasons.
Volkswagen Golf MK1, 1974: 790 to 970 kg
Volkswagen Golf Mk7,  2015: 1400 to 1500 kg