Author Topic: CoronaBonus (Read 7965 times)

Hot Flatus · « **on:** March 20, 2020, 07:45:42 pm »

In the midst of a sea of shite, death, boredom and horror, this is a thread for the surprising and unexpected bonuses of the current viral fuckfest. I'll start...

Hot Flatus · « **Reply #1 on:** March 20, 2020, 07:48:07 pm »

Ooooh the discordant clanging dirge of the local campanologist twats who disturb every friday evening until 9pm (9pm!!!) seems to not be happening tonight

Result

hellymedic · « **Reply #2 on:** March 20, 2020, 07:50:10 pm »

Much less noisy traffic past our bedroom window.

ElyDave · « **Reply #3 on:** March 20, 2020, 07:52:35 pm »

I get to sleep in my own bed far more often

FifeingEejit · « **Reply #4 on:** March 20, 2020, 07:55:34 pm »

Decently busy at work.
I expect this to change...

hubner · « **Reply #5 on:** March 20, 2020, 07:56:10 pm »

I can get a seat on the train, with either side of me empty as well (continuous row of seats along the carriage facing inwards).

Canardly · « **Reply #6 on:** March 20, 2020, 07:56:59 pm »

No aircraft noise.

Hot Flatus · « **Reply #7 on:** March 20, 2020, 07:58:52 pm »

Except Stealth bombers, if you live here

Auntie Helen · « **Reply #8 on:** March 20, 2020, 07:59:50 pm »

Possible delaying of Brexit - if it happens after 01.04.2021 I can get dual British/German citizenship.

Ian H · « **Reply #9 on:** March 20, 2020, 08:05:21 pm »

Quote from: Hot Flatus on March 20, 2020, 07:48:07 pm

Ooooh the discordant clanging dirge of the local campanologist twats who disturb every friday evening until 9pm (9pm!!!) seems to not be happening tonight

Result

I like bells. When I lived within earshot I would open the windows to listen.

canny colin · « **Reply #10 on:** March 20, 2020, 08:11:19 pm »

Working men's club shut .No karaoke , No pissheads shouting good night at midnight . No fucking droning bingo calling on sunday afternoon . No auld biddys blocking the street waiting to pick up the old man . No abandoned taxis ( the club gets used as an unofficial taxi office ). I can get a parking spot outside my house . The club sold their car park because it was not kneaded . My arse

offcumden · « **Reply #11 on:** March 20, 2020, 08:12:23 pm »

The probable cancellation of our holiday in France late May to mid-June will mean veggie sowing and planting can proceed uninterrupted. And our chances of a varied diet of fresh fruit and veg is improved.

offcumden · « **Reply #12 on:** March 20, 2020, 08:17:30 pm »

Quote from: Hot Flatus on March 20, 2020, 07:48:07 pm

Ooooh the discordant clanging dirge of the local campanologist twats who disturb every friday evening until 9pm (9pm!!!) seems to not be happening tonight

Result

By government decree the sound of hand bells will henceforth be accompanied by cries of "Unclean, unclean!"

Wowbagger · « **Reply #13 on:** March 20, 2020, 08:17:44 pm »

The cough I developed 4 days ago persuaded my dear wife to move into the spare room.

My cough got better.

canny colin · « **Reply #14 on:** March 20, 2020, 08:18:35 pm »

Folks Agreeing about the use E-bikes on Audax events . Agreement about Audax matters on this forum !!!! I Feel a bit faint .

Wowbagger · « **Reply #15 on:** March 20, 2020, 08:20:17 pm »

Quote from: offcumden on March 20, 2020, 08:17:30 pm

Quote from: Hot Flatus on March 20, 2020, 07:48:07 pm
Ooooh the discordant clanging dirge of the local campanologist twats who disturb every friday evening until 9pm (9pm!!!) seems to not be happening tonight

Result

By government decree the sound of hand bells will henceforth be accompanied by cries of "Unclean, unclean!"

We have a "rag & bone man" who patrols the streets whilst his sidekick rings a handbell out of the pickup truck's passenger window. It was a sufficiently sunny morning that we had the patio doors open.

I shouted (and I am very good at shouting) "Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!"

I hope he heard me.

ElyDave · « **Reply #16 on:** March 20, 2020, 08:20:56 pm »

Quote from: Hot Flatus on March 20, 2020, 07:58:52 pm

Except Stealth bombers, if you live here

Or ospreys and F15s if you live here,

ian · « **Reply #17 on:** March 20, 2020, 08:23:09 pm »

No football.

Jaded · « **Reply #18 on:** March 20, 2020, 08:23:14 pm »

Quote from: Hot Flatus on March 20, 2020, 07:58:52 pm

Except Stealth bombers, if you live here

ian · « **Reply #19 on:** March 20, 2020, 08:23:45 pm »

They're not very stealthy if you can hear them.

rob · « **Reply #20 on:** March 20, 2020, 08:24:22 pm »

Backing training off has meant that I have been able to visit an osteopath and a physio and address some niggles. Working from home means I can do this during the day.

Jaded · « **Reply #21 on:** March 20, 2020, 08:24:34 pm »

Have we had that Weatherspoons C*nt yet?

Hot Flatus · « **Reply #22 on:** March 20, 2020, 08:38:51 pm »

Quote from: Wowbagger on March 20, 2020, 08:17:44 pm

The cough I developed 4 days ago persuaded my dear wife to move into the spare room.

My cough got better.

Meanwhile, elsewhere...

Quote from: Mrs Wowbagger on March 20, 2020, 08:17:44 pm

The cough he developed 4 days ago 'persuaded' me to move into the spare room.

His cough got better.

Morat · « **Reply #23 on:** March 20, 2020, 08:51:49 pm »

After three years of feeling guilty for imposing 3 years of after school club on my 8yo son, I get to spend lots of time with him before he grows up.

Wowbagger · « **Reply #24 on:** March 20, 2020, 08:59:12 pm »

The Railway Hotel (anag: Hot Willy Area), run by socially responsible Green Party chaps, closed a few night ago. However, they have been busy.

https://www.facebook.com/RailwayHotelSouthend/

They have started to broadcast lives streams of bands playing to an empty bar.

They have started to sell beer online, delivered to your door, Southend area only.

I have just ordered 4 pints of Ghost Ship for £10.

Author Topic: ***CoronaBonus*** (Read 7965 times)

Author Topic: CoronaBonus (Read 7965 times)