Author Topic: CoronaBonus (Read 36870 times)

Hot Flatus · « **on:** 20 March, 2020, 07:45:42 pm »

In the midst of a sea of shite, death, boredom and horror, this is a thread for the surprising and unexpected bonuses of the current viral fuckfest. I'll start...

Hot Flatus · « **Reply #1 on:** 20 March, 2020, 07:48:07 pm »

Ooooh the discordant clanging dirge of the local campanologist twats who disturb every friday evening until 9pm (9pm!!!) seems to not be happening tonight

Result

hellymedic · « **Reply #2 on:** 20 March, 2020, 07:50:10 pm »

Much less noisy traffic past our bedroom window.

ElyDave · « **Reply #3 on:** 20 March, 2020, 07:52:35 pm »

I get to sleep in my own bed far more often

FifeingEejit · « **Reply #4 on:** 20 March, 2020, 07:55:34 pm »

Decently busy at work.
I expect this to change...

hubner · « **Reply #5 on:** 20 March, 2020, 07:56:10 pm »

I can get a seat on the train, with either side of me empty as well (continuous row of seats along the carriage facing inwards).

Canardly · « **Reply #6 on:** 20 March, 2020, 07:56:59 pm »

No aircraft noise.

Hot Flatus · « **Reply #7 on:** 20 March, 2020, 07:58:52 pm »

Except Stealth bombers, if you live here

Auntie Helen · « **Reply #8 on:** 20 March, 2020, 07:59:50 pm »

Possible delaying of Brexit - if it happens after 01.04.2021 I can get dual British/German citizenship.

Ian H · « **Reply #9 on:** 20 March, 2020, 08:05:21 pm »

Quote from: Hot Flatus on 20 March, 2020, 07:48:07 pm

Ooooh the discordant clanging dirge of the local campanologist twats who disturb every friday evening until 9pm (9pm!!!) seems to not be happening tonight

Result

I like bells. When I lived within earshot I would open the windows to listen.

canny colin · « **Reply #10 on:** 20 March, 2020, 08:11:19 pm »

Working men's club shut .No karaoke , No pissheads shouting good night at midnight . No fucking droning bingo calling on sunday afternoon . No auld biddys blocking the street waiting to pick up the old man . No abandoned taxis ( the club gets used as an unofficial taxi office ). I can get a parking spot outside my house . The club sold their car park because it was not kneaded . My arse

offcumden · « **Reply #11 on:** 20 March, 2020, 08:12:23 pm »

The probable cancellation of our holiday in France late May to mid-June will mean veggie sowing and planting can proceed uninterrupted. And our chances of a varied diet of fresh fruit and veg is improved.

offcumden · « **Reply #12 on:** 20 March, 2020, 08:17:30 pm »

Quote from: Hot Flatus on 20 March, 2020, 07:48:07 pm

Ooooh the discordant clanging dirge of the local campanologist twats who disturb every friday evening until 9pm (9pm!!!) seems to not be happening tonight

Result

By government decree the sound of hand bells will henceforth be accompanied by cries of "Unclean, unclean!"

Wowbagger · « **Reply #13 on:** 20 March, 2020, 08:17:44 pm »

The cough I developed 4 days ago persuaded my dear wife to move into the spare room.

My cough got better.

canny colin · « **Reply #14 on:** 20 March, 2020, 08:18:35 pm »

Folks Agreeing about the use E-bikes on Audax events . Agreement about Audax matters on this forum !!!! I Feel a bit faint .

Wowbagger · « **Reply #15 on:** 20 March, 2020, 08:20:17 pm »

Quote from: offcumden on 20 March, 2020, 08:17:30 pm

Quote from: Hot Flatus on 20 March, 2020, 07:48:07 pm
Ooooh the discordant clanging dirge of the local campanologist twats who disturb every friday evening until 9pm (9pm!!!) seems to not be happening tonight

Result

By government decree the sound of hand bells will henceforth be accompanied by cries of "Unclean, unclean!"

We have a "rag & bone man" who patrols the streets whilst his sidekick rings a handbell out of the pickup truck's passenger window. It was a sufficiently sunny morning that we had the patio doors open.

I shouted (and I am very good at shouting) "Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!"

I hope he heard me.

ElyDave · « **Reply #16 on:** 20 March, 2020, 08:20:56 pm »

Quote from: Hot Flatus on 20 March, 2020, 07:58:52 pm

Except Stealth bombers, if you live here

Or ospreys and F15s if you live here,

ian · « **Reply #17 on:** 20 March, 2020, 08:23:09 pm »

No football.

Jaded · « **Reply #18 on:** 20 March, 2020, 08:23:14 pm »

Quote from: Hot Flatus on 20 March, 2020, 07:58:52 pm

Except Stealth bombers, if you live here

ian · « **Reply #19 on:** 20 March, 2020, 08:23:45 pm »

They're not very stealthy if you can hear them.

rob · « **Reply #20 on:** 20 March, 2020, 08:24:22 pm »

Backing training off has meant that I have been able to visit an osteopath and a physio and address some niggles. Working from home means I can do this during the day.

Jaded · « **Reply #21 on:** 20 March, 2020, 08:24:34 pm »

Have we had that Weatherspoons C*nt yet?

Hot Flatus · « **Reply #22 on:** 20 March, 2020, 08:38:51 pm »

Quote from: Wowbagger on 20 March, 2020, 08:17:44 pm

The cough I developed 4 days ago persuaded my dear wife to move into the spare room.

My cough got better.

Meanwhile, elsewhere...

Quote from: Mrs Wowbagger on 20 March, 2020, 08:17:44 pm

The cough he developed 4 days ago 'persuaded' me to move into the spare room.

His cough got better.

Morat · « **Reply #23 on:** 20 March, 2020, 08:51:49 pm »

After three years of feeling guilty for imposing 3 years of after school club on my 8yo son, I get to spend lots of time with him before he grows up.

Wowbagger · « **Reply #24 on:** 20 March, 2020, 08:59:12 pm »

The Railway Hotel (anag: Hot Willy Area), run by socially responsible Green Party chaps, closed a few night ago. However, they have been busy.

https://www.facebook.com/RailwayHotelSouthend/

They have started to broadcast lives streams of bands playing to an empty bar.

They have started to sell beer online, delivered to your door, Southend area only.

I have just ordered 4 pints of Ghost Ship for £10.

Author Topic: ***CoronaBonus*** (Read 36870 times)

rob

Author Topic: CoronaBonus (Read 36870 times)