Author Topic: Wow! What a scorcher!!  (Read 2349 times)

Wow! What a scorcher!!
« on: June 19, 2020, 08:18:12 am »
OK that's enough about rain. 30c forecast for London next week. That's hotter than [insert name of some foreign place].
Sic transit and all that..

orraloon

  • I'm trying Ringo, I'm trying real hard
Re: Wow! What a scorcher!!
« Reply #1 on: June 19, 2020, 08:20:30 am »
Hartlepool?

Re: Wow! What a scorcher!!
« Reply #2 on: June 19, 2020, 09:11:44 am »
Swindon?  ;) :D
the slower you go the more you see

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Wow! What a scorcher!!
« Reply #3 on: June 19, 2020, 03:29:53 pm »
Ushuaia?
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

nicknack

  • Hornblower
Re: Wow! What a scorcher!!
« Reply #4 on: June 19, 2020, 04:09:20 pm »
Bongo Bongo Land?
There's no vibrations, but wait.

ian

  • feat. Undead Jess & Finestre, Queen of Hell
Re: Wow! What a scorcher!!
« Reply #5 on: June 19, 2020, 04:16:21 pm »
People in the Congo (neither version) haven't heard of Umbongo. I've asked extensively.

I therefore declare that they do not 'drink it in the Congo.'

Next week I investigate Kia-Ora. Is it really too orangy for crows?
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Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Wow! What a scorcher!!
« Reply #6 on: June 19, 2020, 06:15:11 pm »
People in the Congo (neither version) haven't heard of Umbongo. I've asked extensively.

I therefore declare that they do not 'drink it in the Congo.'

Next week I investigate Kia-Ora. Is it really too orangy for crows?

I shall use my extensive contacts in showbiz* to pitch "ianvestigates!" to Bravo-2 as a series.  Every week ian checks out the truthiness of 80s TV shitvertising slogans.  Buy shares in water cooler manufacturers, kids, this is gonna be huge!

* Professor Larrington has a couple of godchildren whose parents have been on the telly
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Mrs Pingu

  • Who ate all the pies? Me
    • Twitter
Re: Wow! What a scorcher!!
« Reply #7 on: June 19, 2020, 07:49:34 pm »
People in the Congo (neither version) haven't heard of Umbongo. I've asked extensively.

I therefore declare that they do not 'drink it in the Congo.'

Next week I investigate Kia-Ora. Is it really too orangy for crows?

I shall use my extensive contacts in showbiz* to pitch "ianvestigates!" to Bravo-2 as a series.  Every week ian checks out the truthiness of 80s TV shitvertising slogans.  Buy shares in water cooler manufacturers, kids, this is gonna be huge!

* Professor Larrington has a couple of godchildren whose parents have been on the telly

Sounds good, I'd watch it ;D
Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

ian

  • feat. Undead Jess & Finestre, Queen of Hell
Re: Wow! What a scorcher!!
« Reply #8 on: June 19, 2020, 07:59:13 pm »
I genuinely have investigated Um Bongo in the Democratic Republic of Congo. My Congolese friends are adamant and willing to go on the record that they do not drink it in the Congo. (This could be a lie, my long-anticipated trip to Kinshasha still waits for political stability and I'm not sure I plan to live that long.)

I've also investigated the possibility that it's The Other Congo. I've emailed Clément Mouamba to ask him but he's not yet responded. I'm a bit like that chap from Eastenders who investigates hard stuff.

I do like the pitch of ianvestigates though. I also want to know if Shake-n-Vac really puts the freshness back and is there genuinely a society of secret lemonade drinkers? I may have to infiltrate it.
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Feanor

  • It's mostly downhill from here.
Re: Wow! What a scorcher!!
« Reply #9 on: June 19, 2020, 08:04:20 pm »
You'd need to investigate the persistent rumors that the Shake-n-Vac ads were showing a bored suburban housewife cleaning up after a daytime gangbang before her husband got home from work.

orraloon

  • I'm trying Ringo, I'm trying real hard
Re: Wow! What a scorcher!!
« Reply #10 on: June 19, 2020, 08:07:43 pm »
Get Barry Scott on the case.

Wowbagger

  • Dez's butler
    • Musings of a Gentleman Cyclist
Re: Wow! What a scorcher!!
« Reply #11 on: June 19, 2020, 08:12:15 pm »
Bzzt! Deviation! The archetypal headline is "Phewataschorcha!"

And it is not my intention to call myself Phewbagger.
Eating's a serious business. Don't bollocks around wagging your tail.

Gattopardo

  • Lord of the sith
  • Overseaing the building of the death star
Re: Wow! What a scorcher!!
« Reply #12 on: June 19, 2020, 08:13:37 pm »
People in the Congo (neither version) haven't heard of Umbongo. I've asked extensively.

I therefore declare that they do not 'drink it in the Congo.'

Next week I investigate Kia-Ora. Is it really too orangy for crows?

You also need to investigate if it just for me and my dog.

Pingu

  • Put away those fiery biscuits!
  • Mrs Pingu's domestique
    • the Igloo
Re: Wow! What a scorcher!!
« Reply #13 on: June 21, 2020, 09:10:27 pm »
Ian: can you also confirm that it's frothy man?

Re: Wow! What a scorcher!!
« Reply #14 on: June 21, 2020, 10:07:05 pm »
And does Harp stay sharp right to the bottom of the glass.
Sorting my life out, one shed at a time.

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: Wow! What a scorcher!!
« Reply #15 on: June 21, 2020, 10:18:53 pm »
I'll be tuning in for the Ian Rush lactose intolerance exposé.
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: Wow! What a scorcher!!
« Reply #16 on: June 21, 2020, 10:24:08 pm »
And do bears really drink Hofmeister, and vikings Skol?

But what I really want to know is why are druids so thick? When talking on the beeb about the longest day, two of them independently repeated the line "the sun rises everywhere". No it fucking doesn't, that's why you are celebrating the solstice right now, because the length of day is fucking seasonal.

Too ranty for ianvestigates?
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Wow! What a scorcher!!
« Reply #17 on: June 22, 2020, 12:18:55 am »
If Hans does do dishes, which was unlikely I think, is he a mild Green?
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Wow! What a scorcher!!
« Reply #18 on: June 22, 2020, 12:20:03 am »
ianVestigates

Come on guys, lets get the capitalisation right.
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

ian

  • feat. Undead Jess & Finestre, Queen of Hell
Re: Wow! What a scorcher!!
« Reply #19 on: June 22, 2020, 09:35:36 am »
I believe the common design is ianvestigates. Ideally, it requires a thin font.
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Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Wow! What a scorcher!!
« Reply #20 on: June 22, 2020, 01:48:45 pm »
If Hans does do dishes, which was unlikely I think, is he a mild Green?

...mustachioed cephalopod?
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

ian

  • feat. Undead Jess & Finestre, Queen of Hell
Re: Wow! What a scorcher!!
« Reply #21 on: June 22, 2020, 03:00:31 pm »
After a morning of intense investigation, it seems true that while Weebles wobble, they indeed don't fall down.
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Wowbagger

  • Dez's butler
    • Musings of a Gentleman Cyclist
Re: Wow! What a scorcher!!
« Reply #22 on: June 22, 2020, 03:38:32 pm »
OK that's enough about rain. 30c forecast for London next week. That's hotter than [insert name of some foreign place].

Eye Beefer.
Eating's a serious business. Don't bollocks around wagging your tail.

Regulator

  • That's Councillor Regulator to you...
Re: Wow! What a scorcher!!
« Reply #23 on: June 23, 2020, 06:46:26 am »
I genuinely have investigated Um Bongo in the Democratic Republic of Congo. My Congolese friends are adamant and willing to go on the record that they do not drink it in the Congo. (This could be a lie, my long-anticipated trip to Kinshasha still waits for political stability and I'm not sure I plan to live that long.)

I've also investigated the possibility that it's The Other Congo. I've emailed Clément Mouamba to ask him but he's not yet responded. I'm a bit like that chap from Eastenders who investigates hard stuff.

I do like the pitch of ianvestigates though. I also want to know if Shake-n-Vac really puts the freshness back and is there genuinely a society of secret lemonade drinkers? I may have to infiltrate it.

Having been to both Congos, I can confirm that I never saw the residents thereof partaking of the aforementioned liquid refreshment. 
Quote from: clarion
I completely agree with Reg.

Green Party Councillor

ian

  • feat. Undead Jess & Finestre, Queen of Hell
Re: Wow! What a scorcher!!
« Reply #24 on: June 23, 2020, 09:23:10 am »
I genuinely have investigated Um Bongo in the Democratic Republic of Congo. My Congolese friends are adamant and willing to go on the record that they do not drink it in the Congo. (This could be a lie, my long-anticipated trip to Kinshasha still waits for political stability and I'm not sure I plan to live that long.)

I've also investigated the possibility that it's The Other Congo. I've emailed Clément Mouamba to ask him but he's not yet responded. I'm a bit like that chap from Eastenders who investigates hard stuff.

I do like the pitch of ianvestigates though. I also want to know if Shake-n-Vac really puts the freshness back and is there genuinely a society of secret lemonade drinkers? I may have to infiltrate it.

Having been to both Congos, I can confirm that I never saw the residents thereof partaking of the aforementioned liquid refreshment.

Strictly speaking, that's no longer true, because a couple of years back I posted a six-pack of cartons to two chaps in Kinshasha. As a surprise, they actually received it, so I have a photo of two smiling gents slurping the magical juice through little plastic straws. I may up the ante by telling Clément that the Other Congo has it. Probably that weird bit of Angola that sits between them too.
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