Author Topic: Why I hate Macs  (Read 8417 times)

Why I hate Macs
« on: November 28, 2008, 05:02:11 pm »
Charlie Brooker's view on Macs and their users (if only I could have put it so eloquently)

I hate Macs. I have always hated Macs. I hate people who use Macs. I even hate people who don't use Macs but sometimes wish they did. Macs are glorified Fisher-Price activity centres for adults; computers for scaredy cats too nervous to learn how proper computers work; computers for people who earnestly believe in feng shui.

PCs are the ramshackle computers of the people. You can build your own from scratch, then customise it into oblivion. Sometimes you have to slap it to make it work properly, just like the Tardis (Doctor Who, incidentally, would definitely use a PC). PCs have charm; Macs ooze pretension. When I sit down to use a Mac, the first thing I think is, "I hate Macs", and then I think, "Why has this rubbish aspirational ornament only got one mouse button?" Losing that second mouse button feels like losing a limb. If the ads were really honest, Webb would be standing there with one arm, struggling to open a packet of peanuts while Mitchell effortlessly tore his apart with both hands. But then, if the ads were really honest, Webb would be dressed in unbelievably po-faced avant-garde clothing with a gigantic glowing apple on his back. And instead of conducting a proper conversation, he would be repeatedly congratulating himself for looking so cool, and banging on about how he was going to use his new laptop to write a novel, without ever getting round to doing it, like a mediocre idiot.

Cue 10 years of nasal bleating from Mac-likers who profess to like Macs not because they are fashionable, but because "they are just better". Mac owners often sneer that kind of defence back at you when you mock their silly, posturing contraptions, because in doing so, you have inadvertently put your finger on the dark fear haunting their feeble, quivering soul - that in some sense, they are a superficial semi-person assembled from packaging; an infinitely sad, second-rate replicant who doesn't really know what they are doing here, but feels vaguely significant and creative each time they gaze at their sleek designer machine. And the more deftly constructed and wittily argued their defence, the more terrified and wounded they secretly are.


I notice you haven't put meeting Charlie Brooker in your Claim to Fame post, Jaded  ;)

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Why I hate Macs
« Reply #1 on: November 28, 2008, 05:09:14 pm »
Looks like he just bought Vista.
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

rae

Re: Why I hate Macs
« Reply #2 on: November 28, 2008, 05:10:50 pm »
"Colouring in computers".  

I'm going to get one for the children.

Being serious, they remain intuitive, and some of the graphics apps are stunning.   They obtain reliability from a closed eco-system - sometimes I wish that my PC worked so smoothly - then I remember it cost about £1K less than the equivalent mac.  

They've got cool though.   Our resident iphone user admits that it is a pretty shit phone (too big, eats batteries, doesn't work as a modem and he's broken the screen already), but it IS cool.

Wowbagger

  • Dez's butler
    • Musings of a Gentleman Cyclist
Re: Why I hate Macs
« Reply #3 on: November 28, 2008, 05:11:17 pm »
Why has the original post just been reduced in size by about 4 paragraphs? Did M. Pumpé's PC crash before he'd saved his work? ;)
Eating's a serious business. Don't bollocks around wagging your tail.

simonp

  • Omnomnomnipotent.
Re: Why I hate Macs
« Reply #4 on: November 28, 2008, 05:11:56 pm »
A rant about Mac users... how long did he take to think of that?

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Why I hate Macs
« Reply #5 on: November 28, 2008, 05:29:24 pm »
They obtain reliability from a closed eco-system

fwap fwap fwap  ;D

Ask Jaded to tell you the truth about his recent Mac 'reliability' experiences   ;)

There has been a display failure.

However, there is 100% reliability when I process "Dad Dancing" movies for YouTube.  ;)
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

Re: Why I hate Macs
« Reply #6 on: November 28, 2008, 06:02:52 pm »
there's no troll smiley here…
she was quite innocent, 'till she got that bicycle - sykurmolanir

Re: Why I hate Macs
« Reply #7 on: November 28, 2008, 06:11:37 pm »
I use a mac (non-intel) at work, and I have a two button scrolly mouse...  :) Used to have a mac at home until I got fed up with a. the less than great backwards compatibility of new software with previous OS versions, and b.  the time taken for software to come out in a mac version if at all.  So Dell PC now.

With macs - viruses, and other malware - far less of a problem.

Have you noticed that when a computer features in a film or on TV it's almost always a mac; they are cool.  ;)
Destroying rainforest for economic gain is like burning a Renaissance painting to cook a meal.  EOW.

Re: Why I hate Macs
« Reply #8 on: November 28, 2008, 06:35:19 pm »
You can take the mickey about being fashion victims all you like but you can't say macs are that much more expensive than a comparable PC. Just because they don't sell cheap bottom of the range machines doesn't mean what you get isn't VFM.

They obtain reliability from a closed eco-system - sometimes I wish that my PC worked so smoothly - then I remember it cost about £1K less than the equivalent mac.

I just used the Dell site to build a Precision 5400 to the same spec as my mac pro and it came in only £150 cheaper, and an Inspiron built to the same spec as the basic iMac only £60 less.

inc

Re: Why I hate Macs
« Reply #9 on: November 28, 2008, 06:46:02 pm »

Have you noticed that when a computer features in a film or on TV it's almost always a mac; they are cool.  ;)

I think that is called product placement and is generally paid for.

border-rider

Re: Why I hate Macs
« Reply #10 on: November 28, 2008, 07:26:17 pm »
. But then, if the ads were really honest, Webb would be dressed in unbelievably po-faced avant-garde clothing with a gigantic glowing apple on his back. And instead of conducting a proper conversation, he would be repeatedly congratulating himself for looking so cool,

I know a Swiss bloke who not only dresses entirely in black - always - but insists that everyone who works for him does.  He has "difficult" glasses, beady eyes, a shaved head, and is so unbearable, unutterably smug that I continually want to hit him with a wet fish




He's a Mac user, natch ;)

ChrisO

Re: Why I hate Macs
« Reply #11 on: November 28, 2008, 07:30:11 pm »
You can take the mickey about being fashion victims all you like but you can't say macs are that much more expensive than a comparable PC. Just because they don't sell cheap bottom of the range machines doesn't mean what you get isn't VFM.

They obtain reliability from a closed eco-system - sometimes I wish that my PC worked so smoothly - then I remember it cost about £1K less than the equivalent mac.

I just used the Dell site to build a Precision 5400 to the same spec as my mac pro and it came in only £150 cheaper, and an Inspiron built to the same spec as the basic iMac only £60 less.

I suspect there are examples that are closer but I've been looking at laptops and while I would love to get a Mac I can't make the PC cost any less than £600 under the equivalent Mac.

Then there's the fact that you can get very good deals on PCs at various times of year, compared to never on current Apple stuff.

Re: Why I hate Macs
« Reply #12 on: November 28, 2008, 07:36:23 pm »


I suspect there are examples that are closer but I've been looking at laptops and while I would love to get a Mac I can't make the PC cost any less than £600 under the equivalent Mac.


That's a fair point and I'd agree, the laptops are a bit overpriced.

Re: Why I hate Macs
« Reply #13 on: November 28, 2008, 07:49:20 pm »
Quote
I hate Macs. I have always hated Macs. I hate people who use Macs. I even

My nice new 24" iMac has just arrived  ;D
...and a new iTouch  ;D ;D

<smug smile>


Re: Why I hate Macs
« Reply #14 on: November 28, 2008, 08:35:34 pm »
I started work aged 19 in the media production department of the local university, and we were an all mac department. The PowerPCs back then were beige boxes just like any other PC of the time, but the reason our tech. guy prefered them was because the Mac OS was more stable and reliable and the IBM processors were faster than the equivalent Intel chips. Mac has had strong brand loyalty because of this in the design and media production industries. It's only relatively recently that they got the slick looks and uber-cool advertising campaigns which turned the public in general onto them.

Woofage

  • Ain't no hooves on my bike.
Re: Why I hate Macs
« Reply #15 on: November 28, 2008, 11:29:40 pm »
The PowerPCs back then were beige boxes just like any other PC of the time, but the reason our tech. guy prefered them was because the Mac OS was more stable and reliable and the IBM processors were faster than the equivalent Intel chips. Mac has had strong brand loyalty because of this in the design and media production industries.

And Adobe. Without Adobe, Apple might not have succeeded.

Oh, and Microsoft of course.
Pen Pusher

Valiant

  • aka Sam
    • Radiance Audio
Re: Why I hate Macs
« Reply #16 on: November 29, 2008, 01:41:10 am »
Or Xerox ;)

To be fair PCs are about the same vfm when you compare like for like, say Vaio vs Macbook etc. Of course it'll be more like 10x the cost of a pc world special but heck not many of us ride around on Argos specials. When you buy a Mac, you're not just buying the style and performance but also the build quality, the feel, customer care and warranty which is my experience is second to none the few times I've had to use it. Similiar can be said of upper end Sony, IBM, Samsung or Toshiba kit etc.

That said, while recently talking to a friend, he was going on about how expensive Macs are, before I reminded him that my day to day Powerbook G4 has outlived two of his Tecras and it stills works as well as his new one despite being abused more.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

Support Equilibrium

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: Why I hate Macs
« Reply #17 on: November 29, 2008, 11:01:42 am »
I have great admiration for Charlie Brooker and respect for his views but on this one he's simply barking.

Imagine if he were talking about cars instead of computers. Most people just want a car that works. Most people are oblivious to what goes on under the bonnet, they just want to drive around in it and when it does go wrong, they get a professional to fix it for them. It's not about being scared of cars and how they work, it's about preferring to spend their time on other things.

A computer is just a tool for doing a job. I don't care how it works, as long as it does work. And I don't care if it's a Mac or a PC, as long as it's the right machine for the job - at work we use Macs because they are better for design work (the Adobe factor, as Woofage says). If I wanted a high-end gaming machine at home, I'd get a PC because they're better for that kind of job.

For most people - who don't want high-end gaming machines or powerful design capabilities, and aren't interested in customising their machines - the interface becomes the most important factor, and on that score the Mac wins hands-down. It's just easier to use, more intuitive and the applications are better integrated.

As for "Fisher Price", I remember a friend hurling that insult at Windows XP when it first came out, largely because of its garish colours and chunky, rounded icons. It's interesting that the look of Vista seems to have stolen been inspired by elements of Mac OSX.

Brooker, you're wrong for once.

d.

Re: Why I hate Macs
« Reply #18 on: November 29, 2008, 11:10:31 am »
Have you noticed that when a computer features in a film or on TV it's almost always a mac; they are cool.  ;)
But if its trying to be really cool The Grid in Spooks or any thing in CSI or a Bond film etc it will be running Linux with an outrageous theme.
I think you'll find it's a bit more complicated than that.

Martin

Re: Why I hate Macs
« Reply #19 on: November 29, 2008, 11:16:44 am »
my brother's a Mac user; any problems I or anyone else has with PC's, broadband, sewerage; toasters is met by the universal reply "should have bought a Mac"

last week he e-mailed me for a link to itv.com's catch up service (a very annoying Microsoft advert infested version of iplayer of course just like itv)

when I sent the link back to him he replied

"does not support Macs"

 ;D

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: Why I hate Macs
« Reply #20 on: November 29, 2008, 11:19:59 am »
when I sent the link back to him he replied

"does not support Macs"

That's not a failing of Macs, it's a failing of the content provider. There's no good reason why any website should be less accessible on a Mac than a PC.

d.

bobajobrob

Re: Why I hate Macs
« Reply #21 on: November 29, 2008, 11:20:40 am »
When you buy a Mac, you're not just buying the style and performance but also the build quality

I used to use Macs exclusively and generally I would agree, but recently some apple hardware has been pretty shoddily put together and used poor quality components. The MacBook for example has problems with extreme heat, poorly applied thermal paste, mooing and whining noises, display artifacts, discolouration, self-combusting magsafe adaptors, delamination, expanding and combusting batteries, etc. The list goes on. See appledefects.com for more.

It was all these problems that put me off buying one. I've never heard of anything like this number of problems with thinkpads, my thinkpad X series is a much better quality and sexier machine IMHO, and I've used both extensively (my wife has a MacBook). This is a shame because I believe OSX is truly a fantastic OS and runs rings around windows and linux. If the MacBook quality issues get resolved then I would gladly buy one.

I'd put the MacBook alongside the likes of cheap stuff from Dell in terms of quality and reliabilty, and that's probably not being fair to Dell. Although they also use cheap components they don't seem to have the same level of issues. I'm all for style, but when it comes at the cost of quality and reliability I'm not willing to pay extra for it. Worse than that, I never felt safe with that MacBook around. I was always worried it would catch fire and burn the house down.

Martin

Re: Why I hate Macs
« Reply #22 on: November 29, 2008, 01:40:18 pm »
when I sent the link back to him he replied

"does not support Macs"

That's not a failing of Macs, it's a failing of the content provider. There's no good reason why any website should be less accessible on a Mac than a PC.

maybe; but it made Oi laaarf  ;D

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Why I hate Macs
« Reply #23 on: November 29, 2008, 01:53:18 pm »
when I sent the link back to him he replied

"does not support Macs"

That's not a failing of Macs, it's a failing of the content provider. There's no good reason why any website should be less accessible on a Mac than a PC.

maybe; but it made Oi laaarf  ;D

Made Oi laarf too. ;D ;D

My partner runs a Mac and keeps telling me I should too. Then he needs a PC for all kinds of programs that Macs don't support.

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Why I hate Macs
« Reply #24 on: November 29, 2008, 02:07:48 pm »

My partner runs a Mac and keeps telling me I should too. Then he needs a PC for all kinds of programs that Macs don't support.

If he has an Intel Mac then that last sentence is probably wrong.
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.