Author Topic: Food that I'll have nothing to do with  (Read 5429 times)

Food that I'll have nothing to do with
« on: January 29, 2021, 09:01:10 pm »
In the interests of redressing the balance with Ian's thread
I give you:
Anything with beetroot in it.
Anything in aspic.
Celery - unless it has been blitzed in a pie or stew.(My late father had an anaphylactic reaction to celery. I'm guessing that I inherited a diluted version of that from him).
Carp.
ETA: Winkles, Cockles, Pickles, Whelks, Mussels - anything which has to be eaten using a pin - they can FRO.

Feanor

  • It's mostly downhill from here.
Re: Things I don't want to eat
« Reply #1 on: January 29, 2021, 09:10:59 pm »
Baked beans, and anything that's been contaminated by it's juice.

I really don't want to be the cuck who has to clean up the bodily fluids of satan.

ian

  • feat. Undead Jess & Finestre, Queen of Hell
Re: Food that I'll have nothing to do with
« Reply #2 on: January 29, 2021, 09:40:25 pm »
The sea cucumber. It's from the sea. It's not a cucumber. Cats are scared of cucumbers (allegedly, they don't work on mine, and god knows, I've tried, I even used a marker pen to draw eyes and mouth on them and hide behind the sofa till the cats come in), but I cower behind all the cushions when it comes to sea cucumbers. The scariest thing in my life would be the movie The Conjuring if the cast were replaced by sea cucumbers.

The scene, a Tokyo evening, a booze-dampened etch-a-sketch of neon, try the sea cucumber, it's very good. There's a point in many of these evenings where fundamentally bad ideas seem well, OK. This explains tattoos and why I always say yes to another drink. And who wants to disappoint their hosts? I'm an envoy, I am, a goddamned diplomat. Step up and do the stuff that painted the map imperial pink. Bring on the sea creatures.

Culinary bravado is a typical male downfall*, a sort of existential menu-driven self-inflicted kick in the balls.

They don't really taste of much but the texture. Oh, the texture. Now I've never actually eaten the penis of a two-week-old corpse, but once you've got that thought in your head and you've got a slice of it in your mouth and you are chewing and everyone is watching, there's no way out. All directions look the same and your inventory is a shovel. You can't shout out oh god, I'm eating a dead man's dick because you're an envoy, a diplomat, and oh no, is this some kind of Japanese game show called He So English, Ha Ha! So I chewed that motherfucking knobbled phallic echinoderm down because a boy's got to do what's a boy has got to do. Had it been an (a) eat this or (b) be repeatedly kicked in the testicles, I'd have spread my legs and cheerfully yelled (b)! (b)! (b)!

*reminds me of the time in Hong Kong. If you're familiar with Hong Kong, you'll know the night markets, and the little tile fronted restaurants that appear, with cheap chairs and tables outside, and some very good food. Anyway, we were slurping away at one, and there was a table of obligatory Aussies blokes and couple of women next to us. They ordered a dish that was effectively in a pig face floating face-off style in a lake of snot green sauce. Of course, Aussie boys being a spectacularly stupid form of the average boy, hooted and hollered, as the plate landed mid-table. You saw the blood drain out of the women so fast someone could have been making blood sausages from a menstrual tsunami. The one nearest to us slumped like a pile of wet spaghetti. I was chivalrous enough to let my wife grab her before she hit the floor.
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TheLurker

  • Goes well with magnolia.
Re: Food that I'll have nothing to do with
« Reply #3 on: January 29, 2021, 09:47:36 pm »
Strawberries.
Τα πιο όμορφα ταξίδια γίνονται με τις δικές μας δυνάμεις - Φίλοι του Ποδήλατου

Re: Food that I'll have nothing to do with
« Reply #4 on: January 29, 2021, 09:51:03 pm »

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: Food that I'll have nothing to do with
« Reply #5 on: January 29, 2021, 09:54:59 pm »
Aubergine
Okra
Celery, though I like celeriac, go figure
Processed cheese
Cheddar that isn't, it comes from the West Country, not Ireland
Bombay mix - it sounds like gravel being chewed
Tripe

Strawberries.
*raises eyebrow*

My sister didn't eat strawberries for 40-odd years, then decided she liked them after all
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Mrs Pingu

  • Who ate all the pies? Me
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Re: Food that I'll have nothing to do with
« Reply #6 on: January 29, 2021, 10:00:32 pm »
Marmite
Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: Food that I'll have nothing to do with
« Reply #7 on: January 29, 2021, 10:08:19 pm »
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Re: Food that I'll have nothing to do with
« Reply #8 on: January 29, 2021, 10:13:36 pm »
Sprouts
Cauliflower

Re: Food that I'll have nothing to do with
« Reply #9 on: January 29, 2021, 10:14:51 pm »
Only #6 posts before Marmite popped up.  ;D
Have you tried Vegemite?

Re: Food that I'll have nothing to do with
« Reply #10 on: January 29, 2021, 10:17:14 pm »
Chicken feet, at least how they are done when you have dim sum. That is to say dehaired, sort of blanched, thickly coated in what looks like lubricating gel, and then given to you to eat  :sick:

That’s the only way I have had them but I am confident I would hate them any other way too.


citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: Food that I'll have nothing to do with
« Reply #11 on: January 29, 2021, 10:17:38 pm »
Celery, though I like celeriac, go figure

Same here. Hate celery, love celeriac.
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

Re: Food that I'll have nothing to do with
« Reply #12 on: January 29, 2021, 10:24:22 pm »
Chicken feet, at least how they are done when you have dim sum. That is to say dehaired, sort of blanched, thickly coated in what looks like lubricating gel, and then given to you to eat  :sick:

That’s the only way I have had them but I am confident I would hate them any other way too.
When Sal, my ex, did the show for her finals at The Royal College of Art, chicken feet (with painted toenails) featured in her submission. She had to replace / re-paint the toe nails every day throughout the duration of the exhibition on account of the stench.

Re: Food that I'll have nothing to do with
« Reply #13 on: January 29, 2021, 10:30:05 pm »
Mushy peas. What idiot thought it would be a good idea to take a vegetable that is fine as it is, drown it until it's an insipid sludge, then serve it up with fish and chips? A drunk, northern one I presume...
Those wonderful norks are never far from my thoughts, oh yeah!

Mrs Pingu

  • Who ate all the pies? Me
    • Twitter
Re: Food that I'll have nothing to do with
« Reply #14 on: January 29, 2021, 10:35:37 pm »
I used to hate anything with celery in it (ratatouille was right out) but I'm learning to tolerate it.
Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

Mrs Pingu

  • Who ate all the pies? Me
    • Twitter
Re: Food that I'll have nothing to do with
« Reply #15 on: January 29, 2021, 10:37:09 pm »
Also, cod.
It's a shit fish.
Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

barakta

  • Bastard lovechild of Yomiko Readman and Johnny 5
Re: Food that I'll have nothing to do with
« Reply #16 on: January 29, 2021, 10:38:55 pm »
Marmite.

I don't really like pepper, I can tolerate small amounts but really don't like it.

Liver, my mum loves it, it's foul. I'm not even going to try tripe.

I can't tolerate very spicy food.

Kinda boring really.

Re: Food that I'll have nothing to do with
« Reply #17 on: January 29, 2021, 10:40:15 pm »
Mushy peas. What idiot thought it would be a good idea to take a vegetable that is fine as it is, drown it until it's an insipid sludge, then serve it up with fish and chips? A drunk, northern one I presume...
Ha! Ref Sal (mentioned above) who is from Yorkshire, and loved them. So one night we bought some. On the side of the tin was a picture titled 'serving suggestion' depicting a dish full of mushy peas. Sal's response was along the lines of 'That's a bit obvious. What the fuck are you supposed to do? throw them on the floor?.
Top lass.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Eating all the pies and drinking all the tea.
Re: Food that I'll have nothing to do with
« Reply #18 on: January 29, 2021, 10:49:27 pm »
I used to hate anything with celery in it (ratatouille was right out) but I'm learning to tolerate it.
I've never made, nor to my knowledge eaten, ratatouille with celery in it. But I'll have to try it now! (I like celery, cooked is good, raw is better, celeriac is better still. But if I should ever be called on to make ratatouille for the Pingus, I'll make it my normal way!0
Faster than a walk, slower than a train, often slightly higher than a person. (David Byrne)

rr

Re: Food that I'll have nothing to do with
« Reply #19 on: January 29, 2021, 11:13:51 pm »
Pineapple upside down cake, makes me heave.
Tinned pilchards, even in Mrs R's curry.

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Pingu

  • Put away those fiery biscuits!
  • Mrs Pingu's domestique
    • the Igloo
Re: Food that I'll have nothing to do with
« Reply #20 on: January 29, 2021, 11:14:09 pm »
Hmm, celery with marmite  :P

Mrs Pingu

  • Who ate all the pies? Me
    • Twitter
Re: Food that I'll have nothing to do with
« Reply #21 on: January 29, 2021, 11:33:56 pm »
Followed by rhubarb up a dog's bum?*

*from an old HIGNFY
Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

Tim Hall

  • Victoria is my queen
Re: Food that I'll have nothing to do with
« Reply #22 on: January 30, 2021, 12:04:22 am »
Jellied eels. Proper minging in my (very short) experience.
There are two ways you can get exercise out of a bicycle: you can
"overhaul" it, or you can ride it.  (Jerome K Jerome)

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Food that I'll have nothing to do with
« Reply #23 on: January 30, 2021, 12:19:46 am »
Coconut.

Just no.
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

Re: Food that I'll have nothing to do with
« Reply #24 on: January 30, 2021, 12:35:30 am »
Lamb. This maybe a cultural thing. The fat has a certain smell, there's a Cantonese have a word for it 臊/sou. It's a word that is only used to describe the horrible smell of lamb/mutton.
As a kid at primary school I would eat lamb at school dinners, and then I think I enjoyed it. Then I didn't eat it for ages, and by the time I was 18, just the smell of it sickened me. I was like a shark, I could taste minute trace amounts of it.

I will and have eaten pretty much everything else though.