Dead Badgers

[slowfen]

When cycling downwind of a dead/blown badger do you

a) Slowdown and hold your breath for as long as possible, then breath very shallowly

b) Sprint like made and take the rich odour deep into your lungs

c) Throw up

d) get the barbacue out

[Chris S]

e) Stop, take a photo of it, and send it to Mr Larrington

[tiermat]

f) all of the above....

[Pete]

g) mutter curses and imprecations in the direction of Farmer Giles, who probably gassed it and dumped it there....

[Mr Larrington]

e) Stop, take a photo of it, and send it to Mr Larrington

GIT!

It was PeterM who first started all this dead badger business...

[Adam]

A mixture of a) & b) - speed up but hold my breath, and then don't breathe in again until I'm way past the carcass.


Monday of last week, there was a very large dead badger by the kerb of the A1081 near Luton.  It wasn't there the next day, so someone (or something) had taken it............

[Si]

Get to front of group, bunny hop the bike and bring the back wheel down on the badger, thus bursting it and spraying the following riders  with rancid badger juice

(not to be attempted without mudguards)

[rogerzilla]

(a) and hope it's not a human body...I assume they smell similar.

It's just coming up to pungent-badger-carcass-time-of-year, or as other people call it, summer.

[andygates]

...which reminds me of IBOD, the Inflatable Badger of Doom, who turned into a pressurised beachball with comedy legs sticking out.  We'd hold our breath going past because when he did finally pop, it was going to be a stinker.

My Dad once smelled a long-dead person - a tramp who'd died in a haystack over winter, which he was clearing around now.  Instant puker and "you never forget it, it's not like anything else."

Kinda like tequila.

[rogerzilla]

...which reminds me of IBOD, the Inflatable Badger of Doom, who turned into a pressurised beachball with comedy legs sticking out.  We'd hold our breath going past because when he did finally pop, it was going to be a stinker.

Maybe the BBC should replace "Springwatch" with "Badgerwatch".  All walkers and cyclists in the UK to keep a log of how far they manage to travel before smelling the unmistakable odour of rotting badger.

[Hummers]

I don't slow down at all as I believe them to be a decoy for the innocent traveller.

You stop.

You go "Oh dear. Look at the poor badger"

And before you know it, they pounce, all leathery snouts, razor sharp teeth and talons bared.

Don't trust them.

H

[simonali]

It's not dead, it's pining for the fjords!

[rogerzilla]

I wonder how many audaxers have settled down for the night in the refreshing drizzle, on a soft porn mat under a dark hedge.

Only to find that the rain stops, the temperature rises and suddenly the dead badger two feet from their face explodes.

[Chris S]

Mr Zilla.

I trust you are going to come over and clean up my dinner that's now all over my keyboard 

[Greenbank]

Doing the same DIY Audax route up to Cambridge and back I watched a badger decompose and disappear over about 4 months.

I'd never be able to remember where it was until I was within range of it. Ugh.

The dead deer near Brent Pelham was worse though.

[bobajobrob]

Doing the same DIY Audax route up to Cambridge and back I watched a badger decompose and disappear over about 4 months.

That reminds me of the time I watched a fox inflate and ultimately explode full of maggots over a series of several commutes.

I saw a badger the other day that had made a dreadful mess of the A417 near Gloucester. It had obviously moved several feet from its deathbed, but the carriageway in between was a horrible mess of blood and gore.

[andygates]

The best I've seen for that was a small deer - its organs were in a pile about five feet down the road from its carcass.  I couldn't have done it cleaner with a Big Knife, so I was dead impressed... then rode through the guts in my reverie.  Ick.

[rogerzilla]

This all reminds me of the Famous Exploding Whale.

http://www.perp.com/whale/

The hate mail is brilliant.

Is it much fun to see an animal explode? Very intelligent!!

I hope somtimes your girl(or boy-) friend get blown up or roadkilled you gay pig. Then please, send ME a film of it!!

The whale was long dead, of course.

[Hummers]

There was a programme on the other night where a bloke sought and ate roadkill.

Did he stretch to Badger?

Hmmmmmmm?

H

[andygates]

He did indeed, in the trailer he opened his freezer and said, "Mmm, lovely badgery goodness!"

I want someone to say that to me when they sniff me.  *pout*

On a more serious note, badger conservation types are interested in brocksplats.  Make a note of the location (or GPS it for later) and let the local badger conservation society know.  It all goes into some terrifying Big Badger database.

[Mr Larrington]

brocksplats

Owww!  My snout and keyboard are now full of coffee.  Git

[simonali]

There's a dead un on the railway very close to a field where I walk me pooch. It's really starting to ripen now and the flies seem to be having a great time!

[simonali]

I've heard stories that badgers will often bury their dead, but the last time I saw a live one it seemed to be eating his dead skvished mate not scraping him off the road for a funeral!

[Treewheeler]

Passed one near HMS Mercury today.
All hollowed out and dry with a porthole in its side showing just a gleam of rib.
 Held me breath though...

[cornelius]

I was vox-popped by a reporter from some obscure FM radio station the other week about this guy's exhibition of roadkill art:

http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?in_article_id=52604&in_page_id=34

I was wearing lycra and clutching a tricycle at the time so I guess they thought I was an expert at getting close-up and personal with dead badgers