Author Topic: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists  (Read 203382 times)

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1225 on: January 20, 2018, 10:27:27 am »
Not all comments are bad! Cycling with the missus a while ago through our local village, on full suss mtbs, converted to ebikes. A group of lads, on assorted bikes saw her, then as I approached, shouted 'hey! Cool bike, mate'. From a group of teens to a 63yr old! Made my day :-)

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1226 on: February 24, 2018, 03:35:38 pm »
Today out on a rural lane near home, a cyclist ( a proper cyclist in lycra  not just a nutter on a BSO) told Mrs. M to "Fuck off ".
Fortunately for him,I was some way ahead of her or he would have been beating any strava segment known to man with me chasing him.
As he had passed me earlier ,I can just about remember what he looked like.

Have you discovered Strava Flyby??? if you both had it, it could light your path to his front door...

Kim

  • 2nd in the world
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1227 on: February 26, 2018, 04:23:34 pm »
"You're a plonker!"

Well, you're a WVM.   >:(
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

Kim

  • 2nd in the world
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1228 on: April 05, 2018, 04:58:39 pm »
"...ROAD YOU TWAT!"

Another WVM.  *sighs*
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1229 on: April 05, 2018, 05:23:08 pm »
Fortunately for him,I was some way ahead of her or he would have been beating any strava segment known to man with me chasing him.
What would you have done? Asked him to apologise? ;)

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1230 on: April 11, 2018, 06:32:49 am »
'Stupid in a black jacket' from an oik barely out of nappies, the brain washing is complete

T42

  • Gaulois réfractaire
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1231 on: April 11, 2018, 07:00:35 am »
Have to find it to wash it.
I dare eat all that may become a man.

But hold the oysters.

quixoticgeek

  • Mostly Harmless
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1232 on: April 17, 2018, 11:52:00 pm »

I've been riding a lot in Germany recently. On one ride, I'm riding along about 1m from the kerb, doing about 18kph into a headwind. Some motorist pulls along side, winds down the window, and shouts something unintelligible at me across the front of his much annoyed passenger.

I think he was suggesting I should have been riding on the pavement next to the road...

Fast forward a bit, and I'm in Southern Germany, riding along on a nice big road that in the UK would be an A road. On my right there is a 2-3m wide strip of tarmac that is a cycle way. Unfortunately where I joined this road, there was no break in the Armco barrier, meaning that for the last 3km I've been unable to get from the main road, over to the safer cycle lane. Eventually I find a gap in the Armco and can move across, but not before I've had a lot of beaping and a couple of people shouting at me. No idea what they were saying, Doppler effect, wind noise, and them speaking German, no idea...

Another day near by in Southern Germany, I'm riding along heading for my hotel for the night. As I ride it starts to rain, then the rain gets harder, and harder, and just as I'm starting to question if I should have bought a kayak, rather than a bike, it gets harder again. As I'm cycling along the road has started to tilt up, and up, and I go round a corner and pass the 15% incline sign. I'm on a fully loaded touring bike, I've already got quite a bit of distance under my belt, so eventually I stop and get off to walk. I'm pushing the bike up the hill. I get a few beeps from cars over taking. Then a white van pulls alongside me. The window winds down and he says something to me in German. I smile and point up the hill and say "der berg". The van pulls off, and then pulls across in front of me.

Oh crap. Did I say the wrong thing?

The engine shuts off.

Ut oh.

I hear the door open. Footsteps.

This can't be good...

He says hello, fumbles for his keys, and opens the back of the van. It's completely empty. He gestures forward to pick up the front of my bike. Oh. He's going to give me a lift up the hill! Win. I point at the mud on the bike and the carpet in the back of the van. He shakes his head, Kein Problem. Together we load the bike into the van.

I walk round to the passenger door. It's locked. The driver has got in and is fumbling with the keys. Utoh, is this infact the most audatious and blazen attempt to steal a bike? A few seconds later he spots that the door is locked, leans over and unlocks it. I climb in.

In silence we drive up the hill (which would have taken me hours to push the bike up), and he drops me next to the road I was about to turn onto that follows the railway track to Tuttlingen. I thank him profusely, wish him a safe journey, and wave him off, before getting on my bike and riding off*.

This is the second time in just over 3 months that a kind German stranger has given me and my bike a lift up a hill, the other a farmer drove off to find a trailer for his tractor, to come back and pick me up, before trafficing me up the hill, across the border, into France...

J

*Slightly pissing on the "yay, humans can be kind!" feeling I had as I rode down the valley, I did come across a house with a big confederate flag flying, as well as a selection of signs suggesting anyone approaching the property did so at substantial risk to their person...
--
Beer, bikes, and backpacking
http://b.42q.eu/

T42

  • Gaulois réfractaire
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1233 on: April 18, 2018, 01:31:27 pm »
Quite a few times yesterday drivers in Baden stopped at intersections for us when they didn't need to. Up around Dahn we get no such consideration. The Pfalz is already a little more northerly.
I dare eat all that may become a man.

But hold the oysters.

Kim

  • 2nd in the world
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1234 on: April 18, 2018, 01:37:23 pm »
I find that sort of thing mostly comes down to what I'm riding.  When recumbents aren't triggering the testosterone giggles[1] or the GEROFFTHEFOOKINROAD-rage they can tap into a sort of cripspirational politeness.  Also, I reckon people will sometimes give way just to get a better look at what you're riding.

A trailer means you're on a mission, which gains you sympathy from surprising places (WVM and the like).

And a fully-laden touring bike means you're on an Adventure, which brings out the friendly and helpful in all sorts of people, especially when it's a Rule 9 situation.


[1] Is there a technical term for this behaviour?  You know the one, where young males in groups are compelled to faux-laugh or shout 'witty' abuse at you in order to impress their mates.
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

Kim

  • 2nd in the world
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1235 on: April 19, 2018, 06:43:42 pm »
Lemming pedestrian, on finally spotting the cyclist (ie. me) slowing to a stop to let them cross:  "Jesus Christ!"
Me: "...on a bike?"
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

Kim

  • 2nd in the world
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1236 on: May 05, 2018, 06:29:34 pm »
Random shouty man in car:  "STUPID CUNT!"
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

Basil

  • Um....err......oh bugger!
  • Help me!
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1237 on: May 05, 2018, 06:40:57 pm »
Random shouty man in car:  "STUPID CUNT!"

I hope you replied,  "Nice to meet you, Stupid,  I'm Kim."
Quote from: Kim
And remember that friends who organise things on Facebook aren't proper friends anyway.

Kim

  • 2nd in the world
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1238 on: May 05, 2018, 06:50:13 pm »
the testosterone giggles[1]

Today I learned that when a car full of oiks breaks out in this at a closing speed of about 60 miles an hour, the doppler effect results in a sound akin to the now legendary tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide.
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

mattc

  • "Hannibal"
  • n.b. have grown beard since photo taken
    • Didcot Audaxes
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1239 on: May 06, 2018, 11:59:30 am »
{this probably belongs in the White Van Man thread, but it seems a better fit here. And I can't find the other thread... ]

3 of us are ambling along a tiny, potholed gravelly lane in Norfolk (or Suffolk??), 100+ miles in our legs, the sun's out, all is good.

Fish delivery man appears at speed behind us. I thought to pull over for him, but I wasn't at the front, and our front rider decided not to bother, so there's no point in *me* pulling over ... so anyway ...

We "hold him up" for less than 2 minutes. Of course we're still doing 15mph-ish, so he's only really lost a few seconds on his precious schedule. It's the kind of road I would only drive my own car as last resort, and would do so very slowly. We get to a T-junction onto a better road, and stop at the white line. He pulls up and winds down the window:

Angry Man: Thankyou VERY much for [... some more sarcastic rambling ... etc... ] I've got deliveries to make. It's all right for you lot, out in the sun!
<Screeches off>

Us: <guffaws of laughter>

That parting line kept me amused for the next 40 miles. I assume it was just random ranting, but it made me happy to be outside, on my bike, and not inside, fuming at other people, about things that don't matter :)  :thumbsup:


[The next 40 miles of appalling fish puns were less of a morale boost - but no day is perfect.]

Has never ridden RAAM
---------
No.11  Because of the great host of those who dislike the least appearance of "swank " when they travel the roads and lanes. - From Kuklos' 39 Articles

Kim

  • 2nd in the world
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1240 on: May 09, 2018, 08:09:42 pm »
Random middle-aged woman:  "Good for your abs!"
Me (on low-racer recumbent): "No: Good for your quads!"
RMAW: "Those too!"
Me: *rides off boggling*

I've just realised, maybe she thought it was a handcycle?
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

barakta

  • Bastard lovechild of Yomiko Readman and Johnny 5
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1241 on: May 09, 2018, 09:17:22 pm »
Lying down on the job == legs don't work.

People do that a lot with the trike too. When they're not accusing me of being a paralympian!

Steph

  • Fast. Fast and bulbous. But fluffy.
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1242 on: May 12, 2018, 04:50:32 am »
On foot, not walking, but what the hell.

Set off about six Thursday evening for a pub quiz, and as I approach the parade of takeaways over the other side of the road I see a Spotty Oik run across to the kebabbery. His female companion is in the driving seat of their toy box, which is entirely within double yellows as it is blocking the entire footpath. I squeeze past, just, resisting the temptation to carry away a wing mirror, and say, mildly, "What are you going to do if someone with a pram comes along?"

A minute later, toy box comes speeding past, Oik all the way to his waist out of the passenger window, expressing his opinion about my sexual and onanistic habits, making helpful suggestions, and informing me that he has had intimate knowledge of my mother's genitalia. I had already clocked his number, naturally.

I pause while another car does a U-turn in front of me, and step forward to have words with that vehicle's driver and passenger. The two coppers in the marked traffic car in question take my name and workplace before disappearing smartly after a certain toy box.

Timing is important.
Mae angen arnaf i byw, a fe fydda'i

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1243 on: May 12, 2018, 06:53:19 am »
 :thumbsup:  ;D

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1244 on: May 12, 2018, 07:15:17 am »
I thought that sort of timing only happened in daydreams, not for real.   :thumbsup:

T42

  • Gaulois réfractaire
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1245 on: May 12, 2018, 08:07:44 am »
So perfect that I read it three times. :thumbsup:
I dare eat all that may become a man.

But hold the oysters.

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1246 on: May 12, 2018, 09:12:25 am »
Every so often the stars line up to perfection 😂😂

A

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1247 on: May 12, 2018, 07:11:11 pm »
I've had that timing once. I was thankfully slowly away from the lights as a car came belting through across the junction through lights that had been red for at least 5 if not 10 seconds. I hesitate as there is a police car opposite me who lets me go as I have row then passed me to pursue car. I give it everything to see the results and the car even tried turning right at a no right turn but to no avail as at that point the lights lit up.

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1248 on: May 13, 2018, 02:34:34 am »
I had it a while ago: I had priority circling a light-controlled roundabout, but the (driver of the) first car in the queue to my left decided to blow through those lights and cross in front of me.

As I'd already braked - hard - I decided I might as well let the second car go through as well, and was rewarded by seeing its blues go on as it came up close behind the first one.

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1249 on: May 13, 2018, 10:54:32 am »
Once got an ear-bashing from a motorcyclist in the Stoke Newington gyratory.  No idea what he was calling me because 25 mph and his full-face helmet rather muffled his words, but his weaving about caught the attention of the two big white-shirted lads in the stripy Astra behind us  ;D

I larrffed.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime