Author Topic: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists  (Read 162802 times)

fuzzy (retd.) AAGE

  • SWMBO's Toy Boy.
  • Apprentice Leathery Old Git
    • The Secret Cyclist blog
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #50 on: May 02, 2008, 11:54:56 am »
Not shouted but-
Passed at speed last night by XR3i in good condition- well looked after- bean can exhaust- bass rumbling from sound system- glass marker pen written on the back 'Catch Me If You Can!'

Car stopped at traffic queue so I drew alongside and tapped on the drivers window

'What?' asks the driver.
I pointed at the writing on his window, said "I did", smiled and rode away 8)
Quote from: tatanab
The mark of a true cyclist - prepared to try anything on offer

If it ain't bad for you it ain't worth doing

Charlotte

  • Dissolute libertine
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Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #51 on: May 06, 2008, 04:21:15 pm »
Fuzzy - you're THE man  :D
Commercial, Editorial and PR Photographer - www.charlottebarnes.co.uk

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #52 on: May 06, 2008, 08:46:55 pm »
Not shouted but-
Passed at speed last night by XR3i in good condition- well looked after- bean can exhaust- bass rumbling from sound system- glass marker pen written on the back 'Catch Me If You Can!'

Car stopped at traffic queue so I drew alongside and tapped on the drivers window

'What?' asks the driver.
I pointed at the writing on his window, said "I did", smiled and rode away 8)


Disgracefull behaviour fuzzy!
You should have claimed your prize before riding off. ;)

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #53 on: May 06, 2008, 08:53:03 pm »
Three from Saturday's Severn Across:

1. In Hawkesbury Upton, amidst all the 4x4's turfing out of Badminton Horse Trials; "Bloody Cyclists!". There were three of us, with priority against a flow of at least six 4x4's hogging the road.

2. In Wootton Bassett; "Get a F*cking Car!". What mirth... I've never heard that one before...

3. Near Wroughton; "My mate wants to shag you!". I erm... well... had I not been so tired... you know...

RichForrest

  • T'is I, Silverback.

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #55 on: May 07, 2008, 08:52:28 am »
I let us all down tonight and I'm sorry. Some arsehole with a dog and a golf club saw me cycling home tonight and said "you've got lovely boobs, can I have a feel of them?" All I could think to say was "you're a twat" but I spent the rest of the journey thinking of what else I could have said and if I see him again I'll try to remember.
There's a story about Wendy James (Transvision Vamp) being repeatedly heckled by a fat shirtless oik in the moshpit to "get yer tits out".  Eventually she screamed back at him "Why? What's wrong with yours?"
Never tell me the odds.

fuzzy (retd.) AAGE

  • SWMBO's Toy Boy.
  • Apprentice Leathery Old Git
    • The Secret Cyclist blog
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #56 on: May 07, 2008, 08:30:41 pm »
Had another this evening :)

Just crossed Cookham Bridge in towardsd Bourne End. A number of cars passed me OK but one hung back. After a while it passed me with the driver shouting "You're holding me up you wanker!"

A few yards up the road he was waiting to turn right. I stopped beside him and told him I was making progress in the same direction as him, maybe slowing him down a little and that it was the queue of stationary cars and vans in the opposing lane that meant he couldn't get past. He gave me a perplexed but gradualy overheating glare, I smiled and rode away 8)
Quote from: tatanab
The mark of a true cyclist - prepared to try anything on offer

If it ain't bad for you it ain't worth doing

richie_b

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #57 on: May 07, 2008, 11:01:36 pm »
My favourite was from a few months ago, riding into town up a slight hill at 15ish mph, I hit a red light.
On stopping, a very neatly dressed ped looked down at me (I was riding a recumbent & it was about 5C, so a wee bit warmer then the past few weeks) & asked, "is it not a bit cold down there?"
Whilst thinking of quick replies is something I'd love to be able to do, I'm still unsure of how I could answer this one well.
I'm afraid I managed just , "yes."

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #58 on: May 08, 2008, 03:10:34 pm »
Have you noticed that most of the idiots that shout abuse at cyclists wear baseball caps? 

I have been reliably informed that the wearing of said baseball cap is to hide the scars from surgery of removal of their brains.

When these idiots have taken so many illegal drugs over the years, it slowly kills off the brain cells until their are none left, so not really worth returning the abuse at them.

Shame really I suppose!

Eccentrica Gallumbits

  • Rock 'n' roll and brew, rock 'n' roll and brew...
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #59 on: May 08, 2008, 05:55:56 pm »

There's a story about Wendy James (Transvision Vamp) being repeatedly heckled by a fat shirtless oik in the moshpit to "get yer tits out".  Eventually she screamed back at him "Why? What's wrong with yours?"

Oh, Wendy James. I remember her saying in a Smash Hits interview that she would bet anyone a million pounds that she'd win an Oscar by the year 2000.

I wish I'd written in and taken that bet.
My feminist marxist dialectic brings all the boys to the yard.


rower40

  • Not my boat. Mine has SPDs.
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #60 on: May 08, 2008, 06:00:49 pm »
My favourite was from a few months ago, riding into town up a slight hill at 15ish mph, I hit a red light.
On stopping, a very neatly dressed ped looked down at me (I was riding a recumbent & it was about 5C, so a wee bit warmer then the past few weeks) & asked, "is it not a bit cold down there?"
Whilst thinking of quick replies is something I'd love to be able to do, I'm still unsure of how I could answer this one well.
I'm afraid I managed just , "yes."
In those circumstances, I've been known to reply "I'm scared of heights."  If the very neatly dressed ped is of advancing years, and perhaps going a little grey, then a better answer would be "I think, Sir, you're the one with snow on top."  (If you can get away with it...)
Be Naughty; save Santa a trip

Valiant

  • aka Sam
    • Radiance Audio
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #61 on: May 11, 2008, 10:10:46 am »
I had "Get a fucking helmet you cnut" by a city type this evening. I just shouted "I got one where it really matters"

The other day I had an idiot jump out in front of the trike to scare me on Burdett road, he thought I'd stop lol :demon: In fairness I did... after he'd stumbled backwards and landed on his backside and the chainring was a couple of inches from his chin. "Do you want a close shave then?" *turn chainring slightly* he ran off.

Normally though, the trike brings out the better nature in people, smiles, polite comments, space etc.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

Support Equilibrium

PaulF

  • "World's Scariest Barman"
  • It's only impossible if you stop to think about it
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #62 on: August 19, 2008, 06:04:17 pm »
Coming out of the park  into Roehampton this afternoon I saw a group of kids, but I wasn't worried, I've read yACF and I was prepared for whatever the road through at me.

Sure enough there was a cry of "lend us yer bike mate"

And the training cut in, I was able to draw back on the accumulated wisdom:

(click to show/hide)

Eccentrica Gallumbits

  • Rock 'n' roll and brew, rock 'n' roll and brew...
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #63 on: August 20, 2008, 01:07:36 pm »
 ;D :thumbsup: ;D
My feminist marxist dialectic brings all the boys to the yard.


Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #64 on: August 20, 2008, 01:49:09 pm »
Sure enough there was a cry of "lend us yer bike mate"


An old chap amongst a group of ramblers called this to me last week, no doubt to cover his embarrassment as I swerved around him as he crossed the road in front of me without looking while his friends all waited - the best I could manage at the time was "give us a push to the top of this hill and I'll think about it on my way down the other side".

janm399

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #65 on: August 20, 2008, 02:10:13 pm »
I've heard all the usual shouts, but once and only once, I managed a reply. A souped-up Ka with four lads was overtaking me and one of them shouted, "Excuse me, are you gay?", followed by the usual laughs from the car. In a moment of clarity, I shouted, "For you baby, I will be". He turned bright red and his mates exploded with laughter, beeped and were off.

mattc

  • "Hannibal"
  • n.b. have grown beard since photo taken
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Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #66 on: August 20, 2008, 03:31:21 pm »
I've heard all the usual shouts, but once and only once, I managed a reply. A souped-up Ka with four lads was overtaking me and one of them shouted, "Excuse me, are you gay?", followed by the usual laughs from the car. In a moment of clarity, I shouted, "For you baby, I will be". He turned bright red and his mates exploded with laughter, beeped and were off.
:thumbsup:
This is a well-proven winning strategy. I liked Stephen Fry's version that he used against school bullies:

"ooh, ooh, please don't touch me - I'll just get an erection you know."
Has never ridden RAAM
---------
No.11  Because of the great host of those who dislike the least appearance of "swank " when they travel the roads and lanes. - From Kuklos' 39 Articles

Jasper the surreal cyclist

  • Modern life is complicated stuff....
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #67 on: August 20, 2008, 03:46:07 pm »
"Why don't you get a car?"

I've got one, and it is so much nicer than yours........
Who only by moving can balance, only by balancing move....

Tiger

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #68 on: August 20, 2008, 06:08:12 pm »
I was shouted at last night. Inspired I replied 'Fuck off wankers'. That'll teach them not to mess with me!

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #69 on: August 20, 2008, 06:15:54 pm »
 ;D

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #70 on: August 20, 2008, 06:22:54 pm »
Two whales with two calves revved their Vauxhall Frontalloberemoved 4x4 at me and my daughter on Sunday as we were going for the ferry.

The female whale mouthed something at me through the window so I just fingered her.

She is probably still quivering now - she certainly was then.

We were going to go on Ryde Pier so I knew we were safe. It would have collapsed under their weight.


If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #71 on: August 20, 2008, 07:57:43 pm »
"Come here then, I'll smash your fucking face in."

So said the appalling chavonnaBSO to a cyclist this evening who pointed out that the red light at a ped crossing was there for a reason when the prick almost knocked over a pedestrian.

I was quite worried for the nice cyclist until I saw that the chav was not trying very hard to catch up with him to carry out the smashing.


Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #72 on: August 21, 2008, 11:09:26 am »
I had "Mate, do me a favour and get on the left!"

as I was approaching my right hand turn.

I pointed out to the WVM that he had driven over the zebra that i was waiting at, stationary, as a woman got ready to cross.

Fear and incomprehension flickered over his face.

  "Nah"

he said.

Fraid so mate.

Tourist Tony

  • Supermassive mobile flesh-toned black hole
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #73 on: August 22, 2008, 03:10:26 am »
Going over Watership Down in a group a while back, we passed a pile of rust which might once have been a Vauxhall Nova complete with pimply youth, can of coke if one hand, MacRatburger in the other who yelled out 'Get A Life'

The group as one dissolved into laughter  :)
Late to this thread, but doesn't this one say all that needs saying?

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #74 on: August 22, 2008, 10:19:58 am »
If I stay in th U.K any longer the I shall be riding with an extendable police baton and mace spray as standard equipment...

Sadly, I have to leave mine at home.  Carrying either of those items is illegal. 

Fortunately, a Zefal HPX in one hand anna blindingly bright tactical flashlight in the other is a very close approximation...

:demon:

I have a nice alarm spray which tags people with uv fluid and boy does it sting. Got some on my hands so dread to think what will happen if some idiot gets it in their face.