Some sprog shouted something about Bradley Wiggins at me yesterday.
If anybody shouted anything about Bradley Wiggins at me yesterday it would have to be because they had some strange neurological condition where they were unable to recognise anybody's facial features apart from their beards. (I would guess "pogonagnosia" but i think that would be the opposite of the thing I'm describing)
Beard-based recognition must be pretty common for people with prosopagnosia, I'd have thought. I'm not properly prosopagnosic, but I'm lazy and primarily recognise people by their hair, which is why I can't follow films about men in suits, and struggle when the middle aged men in lycra turn up on a different bike to last time, or remove a jacket halfway through a ride.
But it doesn't actually work as an explanation, because to a prosopagnosic everyone who looks a bit like a werewolf could be Bradley Wiggins. The last thing they're going to do is shout names at them, just make awkward conversation in the hope that they happen to mention dating Willow, adamantium, an impressive track cycling career or whatever and can go from there. Which doesn't work all that well at the roadside.