Author Topic: the worst driven cars are?  (Read 1539 times)


  • Quiet please
the worst driven cars are?
« on: April 23, 2009, 10:14:40 pm »
In rural Suffolk think anything small, budget, Far Eastern and hideous, likely to be owned by a very old, very myopic person. Honda Twiglet, Daihatsu Biscuits, Kia WTF, Hyundai Pantz, Toyota Prostate, that sort of thing. Easily identified by the unmistakeable noise of a 1 litre engine pulling away in third, these drones patrol at a steady 40mph regardless of the speed limit, frequently travelling on the other side of the road for prolonged periods in order to 'smooth out the corners'. Can often be spotted at the seaside reversing repeatedly into other vehicles to the genteel accompaniment of tinkling glass while attempting to park. Indicators are deployed as a decoy in the manner of some deep sea fish, to lure other road users into a false sense of security before casually mowing them down and proceeding on their way at a stately pace.

"What's that chap waving his arms for?"
"I expect he's lost his spectacles dear, like you do."
"Shall we try Aldeburgh for lunch today then?"
"Ooh, lovely."

Crash, bang, tinkle...