Author Topic: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)  (Read 1461170 times)

tiermat

  • According to Jane, I'm a Unisex SpaceAdmin
The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« on: May 01, 2008, 09:43:08 am »
We seem to be missing a thread where a board member can let off steam, something I realised as I was totting up my rants for the last 24 hours.  Feel free to pitch in with yours.

Here to start off are mine:
1) If there is a person riding a bike up the road, and there are great big puddles at the side of the road, please don't try to overtake the bike UNTIL the opposite carriageway is clear, and when you do please give the cyclist more than 1" of room.  Yes I mean you Mrs Yellow Megane convertable driver...
2) Overtaking on the exit of a roundabout is NOT a good idea, nor is it strictly speaking legal.  To then go 100yds up the raod and have to wait to turn right is just downright stupidity.
3) If you are walking along in a world of your own, thinking about work issues, heading towards the stairs, please don't look at the person coming down the stairs (who has seen you a long time before) as if they are something you'd scrape off the sole of your shoe just because you didn't realise they were there!
4) Whilst waiting to use the coffee machine, bear in mind that once the person in front of you has got their beverage they will actually need some space to be able to move away from the machine to allow you access to the damn machine!!!!

Ok I'm calm now I've typed those out, just keep out of my way today, OK?
I feel like Captain Kirk, on a brand new planet every day, a little like King Kong on top of the Empire State

Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #1 on: May 01, 2008, 10:19:00 am »
To follow on from tiermat's number 4:

Do not stop as soon as you exit a revolving door...thus trapping everyone else inside...just because you couldn't be bothered to hunt through all your bags and pockets for your ID card before you entered the building.

Gandalf

  • Each snowflake in an avalanche pleads not guilty
Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #2 on: May 01, 2008, 10:24:32 am »
Since getting my new bike one or the other has applied.

It hasn't stopped peeing down

I have had pulsating man flu

S'not fair.

(more of a whimper than a rant)

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #3 on: May 01, 2008, 10:29:52 am »
And another thing:  don't try to get into the lift, tube carriage, bus etc. until I've got out.  Doubly so if I've got a gert big suitcase at break-yer-shins altitude.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #4 on: May 01, 2008, 10:31:44 am »
I've given up all hope with the twats at work so I now just walk into them when they do this. No apology and a quick "that's not a very clever place to stop is it?"

This mornings genius was the person who wondered why his swipe card wasn't letting him through the security gates. He tried 3 or 4 times whilst I was standing there.

"Anyone in?"
He looks up.
"The red X and the beeping noise means you can't use it because someone has already swiped to come through the other way."
He looks dumbfounded.
"So can you get out of the way so I can pass through please?"

The security guard looked on trying to stifle his sniggering.
"Yes please" said Squirrel "biscuits are our favourite things."

Pedaldog

  • Dog-Botherer.
  • This wreckage I call "Me".
Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #5 on: May 01, 2008, 11:30:33 am »
And GET OUT OF THE WAY when you get off the Escalator as I, and the 6 or 7 people behind me, don't want an aerobic workout whilst you decide which way to turn!
Know-nothing Bozo.

David Martin

  • Thats Dr Oi You thankyouverymuch
Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #6 on: May 01, 2008, 11:49:35 am »
And another thing:  don't try to get into the lift, tube carriage, bus etc. until I've got out.  Doubly so if I've got a gert big suitcase at break-yer-shins altitude.
If I ever find myself exiting carriages regularly again, my intent is to not put up with this shit. (Especially if the offender is wearing a pin-stripe suit, so really has no excuse for such stupidity/rudeness).

I'll probably be pi55ing in the wind, and comparisons with King Canute may be in order, but I'll give it a go ...

This is what a nice aluminium case with square edges is for. "Excuse me" *thwack* "I'm sorry, was that your knee?".

..d
"By creating we think. By living we learn" - Patrick Geddes

fuzzy (retd.) AAGE

  • SWMBO's Toy Boy.
  • Apprentice Leathery Old Git
    • The Secret Cyclist blog
Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #7 on: May 01, 2008, 04:09:36 pm »
If you need to hold a face to face conversation with a friend/ colleague/ customer- don't do it in the middle of the narrow corridor/ pavement/ aisle- step to the bloody side you pillock >:(
Quote from: tatanab
The mark of a true cyclist - prepared to try anything on offer

If it ain't bad for you it ain't worth doing

Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #8 on: May 01, 2008, 06:44:20 pm »
And another thing:  don't try to get into the lift, tube carriage, bus etc. until I've got out.  Doubly so if I've got a gert big suitcase at break-yer-shins altitude.
If I ever find myself exiting carriages regularly again, my intent is to not put up with this shit. (Especially if the offender is wearing a pin-stripe suit, so really has no excuse for such stupidity/rudeness).

I'll probably be pi55ing in the wind, and comparisons with King Canute may be in order, but I'll give it a go ...

This is what a nice aluminium case with square edges is for. "Excuse me" *thwack* "I'm sorry, was that your knee?".

..d

If i'm feeling to lazy to strip my bike of four panniers, a bar bag and a rack pack, and happen to be carrying the whole damn 7 stone mass up the station stairs, I'm not going to be giving way so don't have a go at me when I put a tyre mark on your suit trousers ;D

Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #9 on: May 01, 2008, 07:47:41 pm »
And another thing:  don't try to get into the lift, tube carriage, bus etc. until I've got out.  Doubly so if I've got a gert big suitcase at break-yer-shins altitude.

 I used to get this when getting off trains with my bike.
I used to block the entire doorway as everyone rushed to get onto the train.
I would just stan there and not let them pass me.
Sometimes a look was enough, but sometimes I had to say, "Hey, why don't you let me off first, then I wont be in your way, and there will be more room on this train for you."
All nice and friendly and always amused me. It never always amused them though, which was ever more pleasing to me.

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #10 on: May 02, 2008, 01:01:49 pm »
Look, lard-o, stairs are there to allow people to travel between floors.  They are not provided to serve as places to sit while you jabber away on your mobile for hours when you're supposed to be working.

The next time I have to carry several boxes of paper past you, I might accidentally miss my footing and drop them on your worthless head.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Eccentrica Gallumbits

  • Rock 'n' roll and brew, rock 'n' roll and brew...
Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #11 on: June 16, 2008, 08:13:09 pm »
I spent  hours on Sunday cleaning the bike thoroughly and oiling it, then today locked it outside the post office for 10 minutes, and came back to find the council workies have been cutting the grass and had used a blower thing to blow all the cuttings onto the bike so that they have stuck to every single lubricated bit of it. It's almost camouflaged.
My feminist marxist dialectic brings all the boys to the yard.


Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #12 on: June 17, 2008, 12:40:35 pm »
Old people: When I have chores to do I only have a one hour lunch break to do them. Why do you insist on going to the post office between the hours of one and two pm and clogging the whole place up? You've been up since half past four, so why didn't you go first thing?

Chavs: Similarly, why do you have to go to the shop to buy 10 Mayfair at lunch time? You stand there counting out one and two pence pieces holding everyone else up. You haven't got a job and Trisha finished ages ago, so why not buy your cheap fags then?

Idiots at train stations: Why do you have to go to one of the desks to ask about some random journey you're going to make in a weeks time during rush hour?! You're holding everybody else up you morons! Haven't you heard of t'internet? Or even the telephone?

There's plenty more, but that'll do for now!
Those wonderful norks are never far from my thoughts, oh yeah!

fuzzy (retd.) AAGE

  • SWMBO's Toy Boy.
  • Apprentice Leathery Old Git
    • The Secret Cyclist blog
Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #13 on: June 17, 2008, 03:50:13 pm »
Royal Ascot goers-

Why spend a fortune on a suit/ dress/ hat/ new shoes and tickets to get in, then immediatly get so monged on Champagne etc that you puke over everything?
Quote from: tatanab
The mark of a true cyclist - prepared to try anything on offer

If it ain't bad for you it ain't worth doing

Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #14 on: June 17, 2008, 03:53:17 pm »
MY KNEE f'KIN HURTS  >:(

RogerT

  • Playing with a big steamy thing
Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #15 on: June 17, 2008, 03:59:06 pm »
Pain killers working well then  ::-)

Julian

  • samoture
Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #16 on: June 17, 2008, 04:03:45 pm »
When you say "five to ten quid each in the kitty," it would be really nice if you stuck to that, and didn't decide to go and spend over two hundred fcking quid without checking with everyone else first.  And quite frankly there is no way I'm paying a quarter of it.  So there.

>:(

onb

  • Between jobs at present
Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #17 on: June 17, 2008, 04:28:45 pm »
One for the ladies ,having purchased various items at whatever emporium, it should come as no surprise that you need some means of payment ,purlease get your purses out of your voluminous bag ready to pay before being presented with the bill ,also fiddling in said purse  for the corect change for 5 minutes and then declaring that you havnt got it is not acceptable. >:( >:( ???
.

Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #18 on: June 17, 2008, 05:13:39 pm »
Royal Ascot goers-

Why spend a fortune on a suit/ dress/ hat/ new shoes and tickets to get in, then immediatly get so monged on Champagne etc that you puke over everything?

And then complain at the train user who takes his bike off at Ascot for stopping you getting onto the train. ITS NOT MY STOP but getting off at Sunningdale will involve getting grease over all your posh frocks.

Therefore I shall be riding the 18 miles home this week.

tiermat

  • According to Jane, I'm a Unisex SpaceAdmin
Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #19 on: June 18, 2008, 09:47:30 am »
When driving on a motorway, that policeman parked at the side of the road, with his lights flashing and another car in front of him IS NOT going to clock you or pull you over, same goes for the other police car on the OPPOSITE carriageway just pulling a car over.  SO DON'T SLAM YOUR BRAKES ON AND SUDDENLY GO FROM >70 to <60!!!!!

FSCKING IDIOTS....
I feel like Captain Kirk, on a brand new planet every day, a little like King Kong on top of the Empire State

Regulator

  • Got a thing for rubber...
Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #20 on: June 18, 2008, 10:31:08 am »
One for the ladies ,having purchased various items at whatever emporium, it should come as no surprise that you need some means of payment ,purlease get your purses out of your voluminous bag ready to pay before being presented with the bill ,also fiddling in said purse  for the corect change for 5 minutes and then declaring that you havnt got it is not acceptable. >:( >:( ???


I have to say this pisses me off as well.  You can guarantee that most men will have their wallet out before they hit the supermarket check out but women....  >:(
Quote from: clarion
I completely agree with Reg.

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #21 on: June 18, 2008, 11:11:08 am »
You!  Yes, you!  The person in the supermarket queue using a debit card to buy a pint of milk!  D'you know what?  You probably do need cashback.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Julian

  • samoture
Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #22 on: June 18, 2008, 11:16:41 am »
Oooh, that brings up ancient rants from being a pennilless stoodent:

Don't look at me like that.  No, I don't want cashback.  If I could afford to take ten quid out of the bank, do you think I'd be buying a pint of sodding milk with a debit card?  There is three pounds thirty six in my account and I'm hoping to use two of them tonight to buy a pint.  With my debit card.

[/ancient rant]


peliroja

  • Mrs Woolly
Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #23 on: June 18, 2008, 11:18:01 am »
One for the ladies ,having purchased various items at whatever emporium, it should come as no surprise that you need some means of payment ,purlease get your purses out of your voluminous bag ready to pay before being presented with the bill ,also fiddling in said purse  for the corect change for 5 minutes and then declaring that you havnt got it is not acceptable. >:( >:( ???


I have to say this pisses me off as well.  You can guarantee that most men will have their wallet out before they hit the supermarket check out but women....  >:(
Not me.  O:-)  For a start, I rarely go shopping, and when I do, I nervously fidget with my credit card from the start of the line... I hate parting with my cash.

Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #24 on: June 18, 2008, 11:20:18 am »
Middle aged female shop assistants barely scraping minimum wage, thinking they own the place. "Oh I haven't got that in stock." What do you mean I? You don't run the place.

And then when you buy something else, it's always "Have you got anything smaller?" No I fucking haven't - I don't want piss head's pocket so if I did have "anything smaller" I'd pay with that. And then it's "I can't change that." YES YOU FUCKING CAN! Funnily enough, they always manage to provide change if you persist....
Those wonderful norks are never far from my thoughts, oh yeah!