The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)

[Jaded]

spesh, you forgot

(click to show/hide)

1
Pavements (including any path along the side of a road) should be used if provided. Where possible, avoid being next to the kerb with your back to the traffic. If you have to step into the road, look both ways first. Always show due care and consideration for others.

I have struck out the unimportant bit and have emboldened the bit that means you should stay at home. Or get a car.

Rule 8 should be added to your list.

(click to show/hide)

8
At a junction. When crossing the road, look out for traffic turning into the road, especially from behind you. If you have started crossing and traffic wants to turn into the road, you have priority and they should give way (see Rule 170).

[davelodwig]

Aberystwyth called me up a couple of times in the years after I graduated (2005). I told them that when I've finished paying for my degree, I'll think about chipping in for someone else's. 

I've had that, they were very nice but as I explained they'd already had somewhere in the region of 10 grand out of me (I was part time) they weren't getting any more until they brought the engineering department back and binned all the stupid new media course's* I had to help with tutorial sessions for in my final year.

* youngsters mostly in on clearing, with no interest in computing or programming and no prior knowledge. I spent 3 weeks explaining logic gates (at GCSE physics level) to a group of kids who had mostly done sociology and art and had washed up in the the former facility of engineering, computing, and technology.

[citoyen]

"I'm a teacher, please RT/share this pic to show da kidz how fast shit flies on the internet"

Fuck off fucking clickwhores.

[T42]

^^^ "Share this to show that you care."  So if you don't care then you don't share, which means you can't show you don't care without sharing what you don't care about in the first place and saying you don't care about it. Which means that you've shared which means that you care.

What ^^^ you said beginning with F. Fuckin' A.

[ian]

Ah yes, the endless requests to share, retweet, recommend, endorse, like, promote...

Indeed, I'll share, retweet, recommend, endorse, like, and promote the following: fuck off, the lot of you.

[hellymedic]

I'm in the habit of doing innumerable crappy quizzes on Facebook and not 'Liking' or sharing them.

[Mr Larrington]

No, Natasha!  No, Marleen!  You did not "find my profile" in the Mega-Global Walled Garden Corporation of Menlo Park, USAnia.  So I am certainly not going to click there to see nine photos of your big boobs and big butt.  I may, however, dedicate some of my Copious Free Time to tracking you down and pushing your face through a barbed-wire fence.  Slowly.

[Canardly]

The Civil Service/public sector has served this country well for hundreds of years. However, there seems to be an increasing tendency for politicians to abuse or blame public servants of all kinds for governmental policy failings, financial strictures, or lack of decision making/ownership failure by ministers, usually for political purposes and they do this at their peril. You do NOT shout at or demean senior civil servants in public. They cannot answer back, this is bullying. Challenge them by all means but do this properly. These guys are hugely competent, dedicated and very bright indeed, whilst  normally, very quietly, trying to protect your apolitical arse. Salaries are crap, pensions under attack, and push come to shove they can always go elsewhere to produce a better brighter soap sud, but with Jag.

[Wombat]

How right you are.  I dread to think what brought on your own rant, but you are so, so right.  I've seen too much of it in a Local Authority scenario and of course there are certain high profile examples I still seethe over.

[T42]

20+ year ago I wandered into a demo by striking civil servants in Le Puy, and mentioned to one of them that I was self-employed but supported him completely. He was gobsmacked - said it was the last thing he expected.

[Clare]

Why, in the name of anything you care to name would I want to go and see some over-privileged mannequin looking at the view?

Enjoy your adulation.

[Wombat]

Ooh, you are privileged!  I suppose I could have ogled her from the other side of the water, using my long lens, but I watched some paint dry instead.  Actually I lied for effect, I went and bought some shoes for work...

[JJ]

Cheerful whistling text alerts.  In the office.  Frequently. 

Fuck Off and Turn it OFF

[rusky]

You're not the only one http://www.buzzfeed.com/danieldalton/stop-the-whistle#.vn6k2JvmO

[Mrs Pingu]

Huh, I thought it was an Apple thing. At least all the people I notice using it are fruit fanbois.

[rafletcher]

Our company is switching to Samsung phones    The office will soon resound with whistles.

[T42]

Dear client, if didn't you apply the database structure updates I sent you two months ago then don't fucking whine because the latest update of the program crashes. Bloody hell, your engineers haven't even fixed the balls-up they made of entering installation coordinates last June and I've told them how to at least twice, but they still bellyache when they don't show up on your daft Autocad city map. Your twats put them in the middle of the fucking Atlantic.

(The above has been conveyed to the client in slightly different terms. But not all that different.)

[ian]

Jeebusfuck, 42 page Powerpoint presentations in Arial 8/10pt. That's not a presentation, you've dropped a fucking sloppy brain turd into Satan's underpants.

For heaven's sake, someone on this mothership learn how to prepare and make a presentation. I have to read this shit and try and make sense of your organisational diarrhoea.

[rusky]

But does it have fancy animations & sound clips?

[ian]

No it's just 42 pages of dense bullet-pointed text. I've no idea why people think this is a good idea. Have they ever received a similar Powerpoint and felt their hearts soar?

[Mr Larrington]

No it's just 42 pages of dense bullet-pointed text. I've no idea why people think this is a good idea. Have they Has anyone ever received a similar Powerpoint and felt their hearts soar?

There.  Much better

[mcshroom]

No it's just 42 pages of dense bullet-pointed text. I've no idea why people think this is a good idea. Have they ever received a similar Powerpoint and felt their hearts soar?

Isn't that just a report?

[Kim]

No it's just 42 pages of dense bullet-pointed text. I've no idea why people think this is a good idea. Have they ever received a similar Powerpoint and felt their hearts soar?

Isn't that just a report?

Quite.  They just wrote it in Not Excel.

[mcshroom]

No it's just 42 pages of dense bullet-pointed text. I've no idea why people think this is a good idea. Have they ever received a similar Powerpoint and felt their hearts soar?

Isn't that just a report?

Quite.  They just wrote it in Not Excel.

If it was in excel they'd probably think it was a database

[Cudzoziemiec]

I've known people write their CV in Excel.