Author Topic: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language) (Read 3002507 times)

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #18600 on:** 23 February, 2015, 01:04:05 pm »

Note to self: if your lunchtime activities include "gratuitous use of a Dyson vacuum cleaner" and "resembling a Hawkwind roadie from the In Search Of Space era" then you may be wise to tie up your hair before using tactics such as Unpleasant Bending to get the Hobnob fragments off the sofa.

Ow and, moreover, fuckity

mrcharly-YHT · « **Reply #18601 on:** 23 February, 2015, 01:27:28 pm »

Hair stuck up the vacuum cleaner?

Kim · « **Reply #18602 on:** 23 February, 2015, 01:35:42 pm »

I'll see your Dyson and raise you a Kirby Zipp Brush. Which now bears a warning sticker for health & safety reasons.

I can't be the only one who's had to dismantle a computer while my head was attached to it, either.

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #18603 on:** 23 February, 2015, 01:42:45 pm »

Quote from: Kim on 23 February, 2015, 01:35:42 pm

I can't be the only one who's had to dismantle a computer while my head was attached to it, either.

I don't want to see a video of that, it would only be a disappointment compared to the scenes in my imagination.

Mrs Pingu · « **Reply #18604 on:** 24 February, 2015, 08:42:43 pm »

Email from the kitchen fitters:
"Here's your estimate. Oh, BTW can we come a week earlier to do all the other stuff before the units arrive? Also, cos I'm on holiday the week the units arrive"

Bloody great. Kittens are booked into cat borstal (to keep them away from the worst of the stress) the originally agreed week, don't really want to put them in any longer. And I'm in Norway for 4 days the week before as well.

Bloody brilliant. Pass the Valium please.

citoyen · « **Reply #18605 on:** 25 February, 2015, 01:41:24 pm »

Fucking workmen have been digging up the road right outside my office window all day. They're resurfacing the whole stretch so it's likely to last a while.

On the plus side, I get some respite this afternoon because I've been invited to attend a course. (I say 'invited' but attendance is obligatory.)

On fucking Search Engine Optimisation.

FFS.

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #18606 on:** 25 February, 2015, 03:26:34 pm »

Fucking builders have been using a diesel generator, or compressor, or fridge opposite Larrington Towers for more than nine fucking months now, for up to twelve hours a day and most Saturdays as well. In China they'd have been sent to the camps for being go-slow fascist wreckers back in August.

Littlesox · « **Reply #18607 on:** 25 February, 2015, 06:10:14 pm »

Dear colleagues - before one of you offers to make a brew, is it possible that you can check that the milk (presumably precious to somebody on a different shift) that you are using is not "Almond Milk".

Yuk - in fact double Yuk !

(I'm beginning to wonder if somebody left it in the fridge as some sort of grudge).

More tea Vicar ? Not bloody likely my son.

Almond Milk- what is the world coming to ?

citoyen · « **Reply #18608 on:** 25 February, 2015, 06:15:10 pm »

Quote from: Littlesox on 25 February, 2015, 06:10:14 pm

Almond Milk- what is the world coming to ?

Q: How do you milk an almond?

A. Very caerphilly. Or something.

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #18609 on:** 25 February, 2015, 07:30:47 pm »

Quote from: citoyen on 25 February, 2015, 06:15:10 pm

Quote from: Littlesox on 25 February, 2015, 06:10:14 pm
Almond Milk- what is the world coming to ?

Q: How do you milk an almond?

A. Very caerphilly. Or something.

If I cash 'ew saying something like that again...

Basil · « **Reply #18610 on:** 25 February, 2015, 07:33:38 pm »

That's just taking the pistachio.

Jasmine · « **Reply #18611 on:** 26 February, 2015, 09:13:27 am »

Quote from: Littlesox on 25 February, 2015, 06:10:14 pm

Dear colleagues - before one of you offers to make a brew, is it possible that you can check that the milk (presumably precious to somebody on a different shift) that you are using is not "Almond Milk".

Almond 'milk' is lovely! It makes everything taste slightly nutty. Not as much as hazelnut milk though. Also quite a lot more expensive than cow juice, so if it were mine, I'd be mighty annoyed if someone else used it.

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #18612 on:** 01 March, 2015, 02:28:57 pm »

(Google, Google)

Yes, that would work and I even have the String to do it.

(Later)

LG, there appears to be no actual way actually to get actual audio OUT of that Anbaric fucking Distascope! Not even a cocking headphone jack! This is 20-bastard-15; my parents' Sony Trinitron had a headphone jack in 1972

. What manner of duncelike warty cockshafts are you?

Kim · « **Reply #18613 on:** 01 March, 2015, 02:32:23 pm »

SCART socket?

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #18614 on:** 01 March, 2015, 02:58:00 pm »

While it does have a SCART socket, this is occupied by the string from the DVD player (which predates HDMI by about a thousand years). Both of them can do component video but there's no option to tell the distascope to do audio out via SCART. Unless it's clever enough to do it automagickally which, on current evidence, seems unlikely.

No optical, no RCA/phono, not even a headphone jack. Bah!

Wombat · « **Reply #18615 on:** 01 March, 2015, 04:50:42 pm »

But that's what yer ARC (audio return channel) is for.... as long as the device on the other end has got ARC capability. My 3 yr old Onkyo amp happily talks ARC to my 2 yr old Sony telly, which also has all manner of other audio out possibilities.

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #18616 on:** 01 March, 2015, 05:45:58 pm »

(Laughs)

I'm wanting to route the audio to a NAD 3225 amp bought new in 1989. And I don't think the LG's single HDMI socket does ARC anyway.

Feanor · « **Reply #18617 on:** 01 March, 2015, 08:52:30 pm »

OK, so what you need is line-level analogue audio.
You should be able to get that out of the SCART.
SCART is an input / output connector.

Get thee a Scart to Phono adaptor.
These often have a switch, labelled 'in/out' or somesuch.
This connects the RCA jacks to the SCART inputs or outputs, depending on what configuration you need.

Summit like this:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/SCART-Adapter-PHONO-S-VHS-OUT/dp/B000JJ5FLG

Or get one that has the cable built-in, like this:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hama-Phono-SCART-Switchable-cable/dp/B00006JCXU

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #18618 on:** 01 March, 2015, 10:07:55 pm »

I'd have to check but I'm pretty sure I've got a cable with a SCART connector on one end and RCA-stylee plugs on t'other, helpfully labelled "Video" & "Audio", and not even by me. If such a thing does indeed lurk in the depths of the Big Bag of Anbaric String then I'm sure I have no idea where it came from or if I've ever used it but it's worth a try if the DVD is happy to use something other than SCART.

Tim Hall · « **Reply #18619 on:** 01 March, 2015, 11:09:28 pm »

Diverting the world's attention away from Mr. Larrington's tribulations for a while, if I may.

Galvanised steel gear and brake cables. Why? What is the point of saving ten bob on something that will go wrong quicker? Useless penny pinching gits (bike manufacturers who fit these as standard).

hellymedic · « **Reply #18620 on:** 01 March, 2015, 11:18:06 pm »

'Spoiling the good ship for a hap'orth of tar' innit?

Torslanda · « **Reply #18621 on:** 02 March, 2015, 12:16:52 am »

Because the difference in cost between galv and stainless is a factor of 10 and if you make as many bikes as Trek, Spesh or Giant and the like the cost savings are truly significant.

HTFB · « **Reply #18622 on:** 02 March, 2015, 08:31:09 am »

Monday morning, catching up on the rants. I seem to have missed the moment for this aperçu, but the thought is timeless: The tea is undrinkable, as in Harlow.

Vince · « **Reply #18623 on:** 02 March, 2015, 10:14:08 am »

Stena Line, please tell me what is wrong with this as a concept...

Quote

Rail & Sail is the affordable, convenient and comfortable way to travel to Britain

Quote

Do you live outside UK/Ireland? We will need a UK address for your tickets.

So that will exclude 95% of travellers to Britain

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #18624 on:** 02 March, 2015, 10:21:05 am »

Can you use the address of a hotel/B&B/etc? Or do they need this address to send tickets to, if they even still use paper tickets?