Author Topic: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)  (Read 1533828 times)

Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #21525 on: April 03, 2019, 03:22:16 pm »
Go outdoors you devious bastards

I find what I want, available to collect nearby at several stores in 3 days or for home delivery, find it cheaper online so do the price match thing, price match confirmed - cheaper price less 10%.

Go to order, size is now collect only, no delivery and the only store it'll let me collect from is 132 miles away.

Bollocks to you, ordered from the other place and I've taken the LED lenser MH6 out the basket and ordered direct from them and get a free K3 torch.

One customer down for good, I prefer outdoor action anyhow.

Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #21526 on: April 03, 2019, 08:29:59 pm »
That sounds like a trading standards issue to me.
Get a bicycle. You will never regret it, if you live- Mark Twain

Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #21527 on: April 04, 2019, 08:14:27 am »
I reckon NTS have got better things to do, go outdoors have had a shirty email, I only use them because they're nearby. As I say I prefer outdoor action in Blackburn, the shop is a 4 storey Aladdin's cave and the staff are great, it's a bit of a schlep over there but the biggest problem is my wallet has a heart attack every time set foot in the place. I've used their delivery as well.

Giraffe

  • I brake for Giraffes
Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #21528 on: April 04, 2019, 08:37:55 am »
There may be a setting in the email program to silence alerts as well.

 :thumbsup:

The alert for my messages is "Captain, incoming message" in the voice of Mr. Worf.
If anyone else is sad enough to fancy a touch of Star Trek, it's not a big file to send.
2x4: thick plank; 4x4: 2 of 'em.

Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #21529 on: April 04, 2019, 08:39:37 am »
It’s very difficult to get an appointment at my doctor’s surgery wellness clinic. This is because, amongst other things, their phone is permanently engaged.

Then why, when they send off a sample of your blood for testing by the NHS Minions in their blood-testing factory, do they not send you a text, or give you a quick call to let you know that your results are back?

Oh no. A much better system is for everyone to keep polling them by phone, when they can actually get through, thus ensuring that anyone who needs to book an appointment can’t get through.

And while I’m having a doctor’s surgery wellness clinic rant, they have this touchscreen system for you to confirm your arrival if you ever do manage to get an appointment. Good idea I thought, until realising that there was no bottle of hand sanitiser available to kill the nasties left by the 10,000 germ-ridden appointment lottery winners who have used it before you.

PaulF

  • "World's Scariest Barman"
  • It's only impossible if you stop to think about it
Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #21530 on: April 04, 2019, 08:48:26 am »
There may be a setting in the email program to silence alerts as well.

 :thumbsup:

The alert for my messages is "Captain, incoming message" in the voice of Mr. Worf.
If anyone else is sad enough to fancy a touch of Star Trek, it's not a big file to send.

Go on then; I feel like being annoying in the office :demon: . I'll PM you....

fboab

  • It's a fecking serious business, riding a bike
Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #21531 on: April 04, 2019, 10:29:29 am »
Back in the day I had a full suite of Babylon 5 noises. Doors opening for windows, that kind of thing.


And I wonder my kids are all fucked up.  ;D
TSS is not Total Sex Score, Chris!

T42

  • Gaulois réfractaire
Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #21532 on: April 04, 2019, 10:55:35 am »
It’s very difficult to get an appointment at my doctor’s surgery wellness clinic. This is because, amongst other things, their phone is permanently engaged.

Then why, when they send off a sample of your blood for testing by the NHS Minions in their blood-testing factory, do they not send you a text, or give you a quick call to let you know that your results are back?

Oh no. A much better system is for everyone to keep polling them by phone, when they can actually get through, thus ensuring that anyone who needs to book an appointment can’t get through.


Ah. When I need to give a blood sample I leave a message on the district nurse's voicemail to say when I'd like someone to drop round - any time between 5 am and 11 pm - then someone arrives, takes the blood and sends it off. 24 to 48 hours later I get the results in the post. The doc gets his copy on line. If anything's unwhacked I call his surgery and set something up - he has a couple of real humans to do this - otherwise we just carry on as usual.
Où sont les merguez d'antan ?

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #21533 on: April 04, 2019, 11:18:10 am »
Back in the day I had a full suite of Babylon 5 noises. Doors opening for windows, that kind of thing.


And I wonder my kids are all fucked up.  ;D

I stopped using Bad Moon On the Rise as my ringtone when it went off in a client's office at the desk I was occupying while I was not there, but in earshot  :-[

These days my phone makes no noise for alerts, pinging every time woudl annoy th ecrap out of me, let alone everyone else
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Kim

  • 2nd in the world
Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #21534 on: April 04, 2019, 02:28:35 pm »
My phone ringtone is a lightly edited version of They Might Be Giants singing about how the NSA are listening to the call.  This seems appropriate enough, in that its main function is preventing me from ignoring a generic phone ring noise because that can't be mine because I never get phone calls.

My SMS notification is a USR modem handshaking at 28.8kbps.  This causes amusing double-takes from people in their mid-30s upwards, and has a broad enough spectrum that I can sometimes hear it through wind noise when riding my bike.  My email and IRC alerts are generic android alert noises, and my twitter alert once had Wowbagger wondering what bird that was.

My computer doesn't have speakers connected (I use headphones when I actually want to listen to something, or subtitles - or rant about the lack thereof - if it's just a short video).  It occasionally beeps the PC speaker to get my attention to something important.

We have an alerting system that augments coded flashing lights with various comedy sounds to indicate household events:  Rod Hull singing about there being somebody at the door[1]; Elmo singing about loving trash when the bot reminds us that it's bin night; a Lemming saying "Ohno!" when the power fails, and so on.  The phone ring is a Trimphone in a range of fucking cadences, and the toast alarm is a sturdy klaxon.

I really want to use a sample of Big Clive saying "One moment, please..."[2] for something, but I've yet to work out what.



[1] This one has an even narrower age range than the dialup handshake.
[2] This usually precedes him pausing the video in order to apply Unreasonable Force to something that's been glued shut by the manufacturers
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

Steph

  • Fast. Fast and bulbous. But fluffy.
Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #21535 on: April 04, 2019, 02:32:57 pm »
Toilet paper running out. You know it makes sense.
Mae angen arnaf i byw, a fe fydda'i

spesh

  • Trump-Russia posting ninja
Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #21536 on: April 04, 2019, 02:50:17 pm »
Toilet paper running out. You know it makes sense.

Nah. That one needs to be signalled by "I am the Great Cornholio!"  :demon:
If you think this has a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention.

It's not the despair... I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #21537 on: April 04, 2019, 08:48:13 pm »
I work on the basis that I'll check emails and messages at some point, or if its important enough theyll call back.  I strictly ignore calls in the car or on the bike, because.

As for toast, kettle etc, I'm normally stood right there and am lucky enough not to  have sensory reduction, yet.
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Kim

  • 2nd in the world
Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #21538 on: April 04, 2019, 09:24:21 pm »
Yeahbut a handy secondary feature of a toast alarm is that it can wake you up in the night if your poorly discarded smoking materials, local fash, or Cheap Shitty Pink USB Charger From China decide to set the house on fire...

To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #21539 on: April 04, 2019, 09:29:03 pm »
We have three of those "toast alarms", they were tested last week by Mrs ED, I thought you meant an actual Kim designed alarm that says " your toast is ready"
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Kim

  • 2nd in the world
Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #21540 on: April 04, 2019, 09:55:03 pm »
We have three of those "toast alarms", they were tested last week by Mrs ED, I thought you meant an actual Kim designed alarm that says " your toast is ready"

Well I've got one of those too, ostensibly to detect an unlit gas hob, but it also serves as a surprisingly sensitive hot bread and general solvents alarm.   ;D
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

citoyen

  • Cat 6 Racer
Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #21541 on: April 11, 2019, 11:34:03 am »
Feckin' ad sales people. They're worse than estate agents...

Thanks to our ad sales manager lying to her client and making a promise it's impossible to keep (because it conflicts with promises made to other clients), I have a page that's long overdue being sent to the printer but I can't because we have a Brexit-style deadlock over what the page should look like.

Still, at least it's only one page in an inconsequential magazine, not an international trading agreement worth billions of pounds.

Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #21542 on: April 19, 2019, 12:27:30 pm »
Bloody government. It’s the 21st century, the world operates online and business spend shedloads of money to get you to use their online systems because it’s so much cheaper for them. The government however charge you more for paying for your car tax online regardless of how you decide to pay. The online premium seems to be £5. Well, sod them, I’ve got time so I’m going to pay at the post office and the government can pay them for the privilege. As a bonus I’ll be supporting a local trader and add to the viability of the local post office.
Sorting my life out, one shed at a time.

Vernon

  • zzzZZZzzz
Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #21543 on: April 19, 2019, 12:32:47 pm »
Make sure you pay by cheque as well, that costs them more to process.
 ;D

Wombat

  • Is it supposed to hurt this much?
Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #21544 on: April 19, 2019, 12:50:03 pm »
Bloody government. It’s the 21st century, the world operates online and business spend shedloads of money to get you to use their online systems because it’s so much cheaper for them. The government however charge you more for paying for your car tax online regardless of how you decide to pay. The online premium seems to be £5. Well, sod them, I’ve got time so I’m going to pay at the post office and the government can pay them for the privilege. As a bonus I’ll be supporting a local trader and add to the viability of the local post office.

Mine is exactly the same price however I pay it... ;D
Wombat

T42

  • Gaulois réfractaire
Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #21545 on: April 19, 2019, 01:05:49 pm »
Ours too - zero. ;D
Où sont les merguez d'antan ?

mcshroom

  • Mushroom
Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #21546 on: April 21, 2019, 12:44:20 pm »
I've just finished the last mass of Easter weekend, and was looking forward to a few hours of quiet relaxation after a busy week with the choir. Why did my next door neighbour have to decide that now is exactly the right time to work on his Corvette? Whatever he's doing seems to involve lots of starting and revving the noisy thing in such a way that my entire house vibrates? >:(
Climbs like a sprinter, sprints like a climber!

Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #21547 on: April 21, 2019, 04:25:10 pm »
It's a beautiful sunny Easter Sunday, the sort of day when all anyone wants to do is open a can of something cold and relax in their garden. Except for the people next-door-but-one, who have felt an irresistible urge to make a bonfire of all those grass cuttings they're been hoarding for a few weeks. What is it with some people? ???