Author Topic: Criminal cover versions  (Read 20814 times)

Criminal cover versions
« on: 31 January, 2010, 10:30:55 pm »
You know the ones I mean, the ones which utterly miss the point of the original, or re-imagine them to the point of extinction, or in fact so poison the original song that you can't ever listen to the original without recalling the abortion of the cover version.  Cover versions that sap the joy and wonder and beauty from the songs.

I'd first like to nominate the cover version of Fairytale of New York perpetrated by Ronan Keating and someone else (I shan't google it, as I don't want to know who decided that being the other half in this duet would further their career).  I've only half-heard it, while standing in a supermarket queue, but that was enough to form a judgement.  They even changed the lines where Kirsty MacColl snarls "you're a bum, you're drunk" and shane MacGowan sneers back "You're an old slut on junk" etc etc to something unbelievably anodyne.  Take a guess for yourself.

N.B. "So bad it's good" doesn't count.  Shatner belongs in the other thread.

Pingu

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Re: Criminal cover versions
« Reply #1 on: 31 January, 2010, 10:35:12 pm »
I'd first like to nominate the cover version of Fairytale of New York perpetrated by Ronan Keating and someone else (I shan't google it, as I don't want to know who decided that being the other half in this duet would further their career).

Someone from Clannad.

It is truly awful I must agree  :sick:

nicknack

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Re: Criminal cover versions
« Reply #2 on: 31 January, 2010, 10:56:21 pm »
Killing Me Softly with His Song - Fugees

I couldn't believe this when I saw it on TOTP. I don't think I'd ever heard such out of tune crap presented on tv before. I'm not a huge fan of the Roberta Flack version (just not really my thing) but at least she makes a good job of it and sings it in tune.
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Torslanda

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Re: Criminal cover versions
« Reply #3 on: 31 January, 2010, 11:13:08 pm »
Possible sacrilege but I don't care, you only have to have a tiny smattering of musical ability to realise that not only could he not count he couldn't carry a tune in a bucket!

His manager/publicist/agent/band leader and arranger should have been executed on the spot.

Frank Sinatra did a swing version of Simon & Garfunkel's Mrs Robinson! FFS
 :sick:  :sick:  :sick:  :sick:  :sick:  :sick:  :sick:

He COMPLETELY missed the point.

Enough already! Just don't!

VELOMANCER

Well that's the more blunt way of putting it but as usual he's dead right.

redshift

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Re: Criminal cover versions
« Reply #4 on: 31 January, 2010, 11:23:01 pm »
Alabama3 - Hotel California.  For such a good band, that's such a bad cover version.

Metallica - Whiskey in the Jar.  Oh, lordy...
L
:)
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Torslanda

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Re: Criminal cover versions
« Reply #5 on: 31 January, 2010, 11:33:50 pm »
Thin Lizzy - Whisky in the Jar . . .
VELOMANCER

Well that's the more blunt way of putting it but as usual he's dead right.

Re: Criminal cover versions
« Reply #6 on: 01 February, 2010, 12:25:40 am »
Metallica - Whiskey in the Jar.  Oh, lordy...

Not their finest moment, by a long way.

Come to think of it, that wasn't the only bum note on the Garage Inc. compilation - I'm not overly sure about their Budgie and Diamond Head covers.  :-\
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Re: Criminal cover versions
« Reply #7 on: 01 February, 2010, 06:27:18 am »
The theme from Crossroads - Paul McCartney and Wings

Anything by Mariah Carey and other X-factor style karaoke singers

Pretty Vacant - Paul Jones (yes, he of the Blues band)

Bridge over troubled water - Eva Cassidy (a surprising lapse)

Why should anybody steal a watch when they can steal a bicycle?

Re: Criminal cover versions
« Reply #8 on: 01 February, 2010, 06:33:40 am »
Mark bloody Ronson's destruction of "Stop Me If You Think That You've Heard This One Before".  No soul, no pathos, no talent.
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PaulF

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Re: Criminal cover versions
« Reply #9 on: 01 February, 2010, 07:19:25 am »
Practically anything that's just a carbon copy of the original so any of the boy bland covers but top of the pile is Guns 'n' Roses karaoke version of Live and Let Die

Really Ancien

Re: Criminal cover versions
« Reply #10 on: 01 February, 2010, 09:26:39 am »
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/CkvJZD7zDJk&rel=1" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/CkvJZD7zDJk&rel=1</a>
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/9tio-YWTBHo&rel=1" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/9tio-YWTBHo&rel=1</a>
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/Gq9XykJ-Po0&rel=1" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/Gq9XykJ-Po0&rel=1</a>

Damon.

onb

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Re: Criminal cover versions
« Reply #11 on: 01 February, 2010, 09:53:38 am »
Some years ago I heard on the radio a cover of The Waterboys Whole of the Moon .It was like supermarket music and a total abomination no passion or venon ,it might have well have been done in speaking clock mode. .It could never be so bad as to put me off the original though.
.

Redlight

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Re: Criminal cover versions
« Reply #12 on: 01 February, 2010, 10:22:10 am »
Some years ago I heard on the radio a cover of The Waterboys Whole of the Moon .It was like supermarket music and a total abomination no passion or venon ,it might have well have been done in speaking clock mode. .It could never be so bad as to put me off the original though.


I suspect that may be the version by Jennifer Warnes.  Here interpretations of Leonard Cohen songs are immaculate but that cover is a real turkey.
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Regulator

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Re: Criminal cover versions
« Reply #13 on: 01 February, 2010, 01:56:28 pm »
Whitney Houston murdering 'I Will Always Love You' in The Bodyguard.

It was almost enough to make me want to rip my own ears off...  >:(
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Re: Criminal cover versions
« Reply #14 on: 01 February, 2010, 03:40:30 pm »
Whitney Houston murdering 'I Will Always Love You' in The Bodyguard.

It was almost enough to make me want to rip my own ears off...  >:(
I was stunned when I heard the Dolly Parton original. Real emotion, real hurt.
Every time I hear the Houston version I wish I was stunned. Or at least anaesthetised.

rob

Re: Criminal cover versions
« Reply #15 on: 01 February, 2010, 03:52:05 pm »
While we're on Mark Ronson...I couldn't stand Valerie by Amy Whinehouse.   The Zutons original is superior.   Dave Mcabe said he bought his Mum a new house with the proceeds, though.

'Pop' acts covering indie-ish tracks :-

Jamelia - 'Numb' - Linkin Park
Sugababes - 'Livin' for the Weekend' - Hard Fi
Girls Aloud - 'I Predict a Riot' - Kaiser Chiefs


Zoidburg

Re: Criminal cover versions
« Reply #16 on: 01 February, 2010, 05:08:13 pm »

Jamelia - 'Numb' - Linkin Park



That was done for the BBC live lounge and it was actually a rather spiffing live performance IMHO.

That and "The Hounds Of Love" by the Future Heads.


clarion

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Re: Criminal cover versions
« Reply #17 on: 01 February, 2010, 05:09:10 pm »
Another Live Lounge one, and it gobsmacked me at the time.

Don'Cha  - Will Young.
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Flying_Monkey

Re: Criminal cover versions
« Reply #18 on: 01 February, 2010, 05:58:01 pm »
I am going to risk a trial for heresy here and say Jeff Buckley's version of Leonard Cohen's 'Hallelujah'. Sure he has a beautiful voice, but his reading of the song misses all the irony and darkness that are essential to it. Having said that, I don't think it's as clever a song as many people think, anyway...

Jaded

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Re: Criminal cover versions
« Reply #19 on: 01 February, 2010, 05:59:17 pm »
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

Eccentrica Gallumbits

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Re: Criminal cover versions
« Reply #20 on: 01 February, 2010, 06:52:01 pm »
Madonna's American Pie.

Girls Aloud - Jump

Girls Aloud & Sugababes - Walk This Way
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rob

Re: Criminal cover versions
« Reply #21 on: 01 February, 2010, 07:55:24 pm »
All Saints - Under the Bridge

clarion

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Re: Criminal cover versions
« Reply #22 on: 01 February, 2010, 08:37:29 pm »
Cher - Walking in Memphis.  The original wasn't great, but hers was awful.
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Re: Criminal cover versions
« Reply #23 on: 01 February, 2010, 09:07:28 pm »
Anything with feckin Ronan Keating doing it.

That cover of 'I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For' by some god awful 'RnB' type warbler.
Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

Re: Criminal cover versions
« Reply #24 on: 01 February, 2010, 09:24:42 pm »
Oh yes.  That version of "Fairytale Of New York" which stalks our Christmas compilation, where they've both bowdlerised the lyrics and put a couple of cabaret crooners in front of the mike.

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<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/o9fPJdkSobM&rel=1" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/o9fPJdkSobM&rel=1</a>
And Darkness and Decay and the Coronavirus held illimitable dominion over all.