Author Topic: Best hallucinations that weren't  (Read 7686 times)

simonp

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Best hallucinations that weren't
« on: June 23, 2010, 01:53:33 pm »
Inspired by a conversation with Chris Benyon on the Denmead 600:

what is your best "hallucination" that was actually real?

Mine: being chased through Beddelgert (sp?) by Big Bird.

Oaky

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Re: Best hallucinations that weren't
« Reply #1 on: June 23, 2010, 02:02:44 pm »
Not on an Audax, but one night, riding along a B road, with little bit of woodland alongside, I heard an incredibly scary roar.  A few things ran through my mind before I realised I was passing Colchester Zoo at the time.
You are in a maze of twisty flat droves, all alike.

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Re: Best hallucinations that weren't
« Reply #2 on: June 23, 2010, 02:08:00 pm »
In my twenties I was on acid one night and kept seeing this really gnarly old man of the woods who was following me about.  It was actually my mate, and we were in some woods. ;)

Re: Best hallucinations that weren't
« Reply #3 on: June 23, 2010, 02:10:51 pm »
Not on an Audax, but one night, riding along a B road, with little bit of woodland alongside, I heard an incredibly scary roar.  A few things ran through my mind before I realised I was passing Colchester Zoo at the time.

+1 

nearly crapped myself when I woke up to the sound of tigers and monkeys when I was camping in a cousins garden in Kent.

Howletts zoo was about 1/2 mile away :)

Pancho

  • لَا أَعْبُدُ مَا تَعْبُدُونَ
Re: Best hallucinations that weren't
« Reply #4 on: June 23, 2010, 02:11:57 pm »
I was cycling alone along a pitch black country lane when Satan stepped from the darkness onto the road. Enormous, black and with steam coming out of the (flared) nostrils. I fell off - but recovered quickly when Satan's Hounds of Hell set about me.

I don't think I've ever come closer to a heart attack in my life.

It was only after some distance that I realised that Satan was, in reality, a badly tethered gypsy horse and the Hounds were gypsy dogs.

Julian

  • samoture
Re: Best hallucinations that weren't
« Reply #5 on: June 23, 2010, 02:14:57 pm »
I've only hallucinated once - on my first 600 - and I got imaginary rabbits running across the road in front of my wheels, and road signs turning into sentries.  

Charlotte

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Re: Best hallucinations that weren't
« Reply #6 on: June 23, 2010, 02:15:07 pm »
For me it was during the fourth night on the road on PBP.  It would be fair to say that I'd been operating well outside normal parameters for a couple of days and it was all getting a bit weird.  On one notable occasion, the "keep right" arrows painted on the road turned into big white snakes with forked tongues and started hissing at me.

Mind you; ISTR one of our more illustrious audax members telling tales of being chased though a Welsh village by a giant David Bellamy.  I think we can all agree that it's going to be very hard to top that one.
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richie

  • Just sleeping...
Re: Best hallucinations that weren't
« Reply #7 on: June 23, 2010, 02:18:01 pm »
Inspired by a conversation with Chris Benyon on the Denmead 600:

what is your best "hallucination" that was actually real?

Mine: being chased through Beddelgert (sp?) by Big Bird.


Beddgelert eh?  A few years ago passing through some empty countryside near there on the BCM return leg two shapes amble out of a field.  'Demons Of the Night' , comes the cry.   
No, it wasn't a hallucination, rather two p*ssheads.  Still wonder to this day what/why/how etc. as they were miles away from the nearest village....
Sheep we're off again.

LEE

Re: Best hallucinations that weren't
« Reply #8 on: June 23, 2010, 02:20:07 pm »
I (stupidly) drove home in the dark after a 600 (never again).

Every tree had a face, every dark patch on the road was an animal  Luckily for me my hallucinations WERE rather than WEREN'T.

If they hadn't been hallucinations then I would have kiiled about 1000 cats, 200 cows and so on.

Very very wierd indeed.  Never would have believed it if I hadn't imagined it with my own eyes.

Back on the OP, I thought I saw Hummers in a cafe in Hungerford once, turns out it was Hummers.

Re: Best hallucinations that weren't
« Reply #9 on: June 23, 2010, 02:25:09 pm »
Not cycling, but as a youth I did some moderately long walks. One night I was hallucinating that there were fences and styles every few steps. I knew I was imagining it, but I also knew the route well enough to know that two or three were real, so had to check each one.

Re: Best hallucinations that weren't
« Reply #10 on: June 23, 2010, 02:31:01 pm »
My first journey in a boat at sea. I was incredibly short of sleep. By the third night of less than 1hour's sleep, I was wired to the gills.

Coming up to the mouth of the humber, just before dawn, I was convinced I could see a gas platform, smack in the middle of the channel. I started to steer around it; "what are you doing" says experienced sea-going wife. "Gas platform, we've got to go round it."

She took my face firmly in her hands and said "Do you trust me? There is NO gas platform. Now let me steer.".

Just to put it into context, a few hours previously we'd been crossing the Wash and came across a 30m column sticking out of the water, in the middle of the small boat channel. Totally unmarked on charts. Never found out what it was.
<i>Marmite slave</i>

Re: Best hallucinations that weren't
« Reply #11 on: June 23, 2010, 02:35:13 pm »

Back on the OP, I thought I saw Hummers in a cafe in Hungerford once, turns out it was Hummers.


Woh! Scary!
The old Legion hand told the recruit, "When things are bad, bleu, try not to make them worse, because it is very likely that they are bad enough already." -- Robert Ruark

fboab

  • It's a fecking serious business, riding a bike
Re: Best hallucinations that weren't
« Reply #12 on: June 23, 2010, 02:44:17 pm »
In the distance, through the dark and drizzle, a house all lit up and welcoming. It was Chris S's. :)
TSS is not Total Sex Score, Chris!

Re: Best hallucinations that weren't
« Reply #13 on: June 23, 2010, 02:48:19 pm »
In the distance, through the dark and drizzle, a house all lit up and welcoming. It was ChrisS's. :)

 ;D

And this is what she saw...

(click to show/hide)

Pancho

  • لَا أَعْبُدُ مَا تَعْبُدُونَ
Re: Best hallucinations that weren't
« Reply #14 on: June 23, 2010, 03:02:47 pm »
My first journey in a boat at sea. I was incredibly short of sleep. By the third night of less than 1hour's sleep, I was wired to the gills.

I've only ever had true hallucinations whilst sailing.

I have a recurring hallucination which kicks in as I come home up the river (Hamble). If it's pitch dark and flat calm, the piles reflect in the water and causes my brain to see, with utter, utter convincingness a wall built across the river.

On one occasion, I asked my bemused brother to sit in the bow to push us off the "wall".

That'll teach me not to go to France and back without a kip somewhere.

AikenDrum

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Re: Best hallucinations that weren't
« Reply #15 on: June 23, 2010, 03:42:05 pm »
I thought I saw an argument that proved I was the Pope

I looked again and saw it was bar of mottled soap

 :facepalm:
London's burning with boredom now

Re: Best hallucinations that weren't
« Reply #16 on: June 23, 2010, 04:17:40 pm »
On last year's BCM.

I thought I saw a black moomin sitting on a barbed wire fence. It turns out it was a bin bag.

mattc

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Re: Best hallucinations that weren't
« Reply #17 on: June 23, 2010, 05:19:50 pm »
In the distance, through the dark and drizzle, a house all lit up and welcoming. It was ChrisS's. :)

 ;D

And this is what she saw...

(click to show/hide)
I didn't want to interrup the other thread, but ...

could you PLEASE explain this rivendell business?!? :)
Has never ridden RAAM
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Simonb

Re: Best hallucinations that weren't
« Reply #18 on: June 23, 2010, 06:17:49 pm »
I've mistaken several hundred thousand clumps of grass for hedgehogs over the years. I can never tell the difference. Some may have actually been hedgehogs.

A bat flew into my armpit once.

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: Best hallucinations that weren't
« Reply #19 on: June 23, 2010, 07:17:19 pm »
I've mistaken several hundred thousand clumps of grass for hedgehogs over the years. I can never tell the difference. Some may have actually been hedgehogs.

Ah, I thought it was just me!

Not really a hallucination, though, just optical ambiguity.  Same sort of thing as changes in the colour of tarmac that look like kerbs, puddles, massive potholes and the like.  LED lighting has a lot to answer for.
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

Re: Best hallucinations that weren't
« Reply #20 on: June 23, 2010, 07:30:15 pm »
could you PLEASE explain this rivendell business?!? :)

It started here:

&quot;There are no hills in London&quot;

followed by my reply further down the thread.

Tomsk

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Re: Best hallucinations that weren't
« Reply #21 on: June 23, 2010, 07:38:54 pm »
    Going into the 3rd night of the last LEL, approaching the Eskdalemuir area, I thought there were frogs jumping all over the road. I've had this before, or variations [mice, bats] which proved to be leaves or similar debris blowing about...BUT... these REALLY were tiny frogs, millions of the little critturs, which the lovely warm rain had brought out to play!

Re: Best hallucinations that weren't
« Reply #22 on: June 23, 2010, 07:41:15 pm »
I was cycling in the Jura around midnight and suddenly the high grass at the right started waving like there was a lot of wind. I continued and heard ffffwwww fffffwwww, so it was a lot of wind I thought. However no signs of wind in my face or pushing in the back. 100 meters further suddenly a 200 kilo fat wild boar crossed my road. He had been running beside me in the dark and was scared. You can imagine what my heart did when he appeared in front of me and he made a demarrage into the dark.....

This was really not a hallucination...

fboab

  • It's a fecking serious business, riding a bike
Re: Best hallucinations that weren't
« Reply #23 on: June 23, 2010, 10:03:00 pm »
In the distance, through the dark and drizzle, a house all lit up and welcoming. It was ChrisS's. :)

 ;D

And this is what she saw...

(click to show/hide)
I didn't want to interrup the other thread, but ...

could you PLEASE explain this rivendell business?!? :)

Chris S:



Elrond:


EDIT: now repaired. I'm sorry my very flimsy joke generated such confusion.
TSS is not Total Sex Score, Chris!

Panoramix

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Re: Best hallucinations that weren't
« Reply #24 on: June 23, 2010, 10:47:26 pm »

Coming up to the mouth of the humber, just before dawn, I was convinced I could see a gas platform, smack in the middle of the channel. I started to steer around it; "what are you doing" says experienced sea-going wife. "Gas platform, we've got to go round it."


I am not sure why but the sea generates easily this kind of stuff.

I've heard the story of a guy who during the mini (so singlehanded) saw his dad climb on board to chat to him. At some point he told his imaginary dad: " I am bit knackered do you mind steering a bit" He put the autopilot on and then went down to have a full night of sleep. It's only when he woke up that he realised he had spent 8 hours not looking after the boat!

I am not sure if it is an urban myth or not but sounds plausible to me. I guess that the movement of the boat makes matters worst. I have often had waves top becoming monsters and imaginary ships coming out of the fog.
Chief cat entertainer.