Author Topic: Overheard today  (Read 46089 times)

Basil

  • Um....err......oh bugger!
  • Help me!
Overheard today
« on: June 10, 2008, 11:05:24 pm »
Woman on mobile in the smoking shed at my local (Yes, sorry, I've failed again)

"If she don't come home tonight, I'm not letting her in."

 ???
Quote from: Kim
And remember that friends who organise things on Facebook aren't proper friends anyway.

Clare

  • Is home
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #1 on: June 11, 2008, 11:03:57 am »
That's on a par with my mother's favourite when we were climbing on the garage roof:

"If you fall off and break your legs don't come running to me."

OK then, I won't.

Charlotte

  • Dissolute libertine
  • Here's to ol' D.H. Lawrence...
    • charlottebarnes.co.uk
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #2 on: June 11, 2008, 11:13:31 am »
(Yes, sorry, I've failed again)

Oh dear.  Tough, innit?

 :(
Commercial, Editorial and PR Photographer - www.charlottebarnes.co.uk

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #3 on: August 29, 2008, 03:44:41 pm »
Overheard today:

Phone conversation: "Yeah, that's why I need to go back to Afghanistan--go back and make some money."
scottclark.photoshelter.com

gonzo

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #4 on: August 29, 2008, 05:08:57 pm »
A while back in an engineering computer room;
"My mechanism's smaller than your mechanism so ha!"

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #5 on: August 29, 2008, 05:26:17 pm »
Woman in WHS looking at road atlases: "This one's five miles to the inch".

Friend, triumphantly: " Ooh, this one's seven miles to the inch!"

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #6 on: August 29, 2008, 09:41:30 pm »
In a kitchen at an old people's home run by some friends years ago.

"Oooh, it's worse than I thought."

(This from one of the temporary washing up helpers, inspecting a pair of inside out rubber gloves.)

"The hole's on both sides."
Rust never sleeps

andygates

  • Peroxide Viking
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #7 on: August 29, 2008, 10:04:24 pm »
Bafflingly to clucks of agreement from her twentysomething mallrat girlfriends:

"Boris Johnson never combs his hair and usually acts drunk which is why I want to just cuddle him every day."
It takes blood and guts to be this cool but I'm still just a cliché.
OpenStreetMap UK & IRL Streetmap & Topo: ravenfamily.org/andyg/maps updates weekly.

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #8 on: August 30, 2008, 03:54:02 pm »
walking through the market this morning, father to 6-ish yr old son:  "No, you cant eat panthers"

Valiant

  • aka Sam
    • Radiance Audio
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #9 on: August 30, 2008, 06:44:41 pm »
Heard on the 277 bus today "bruv she was like the tardis, I bet shes had bare mans"
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

Support Equilibrium

Elleigh

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #10 on: August 30, 2008, 07:30:16 pm »
Last time I was on a bus.

Older Lady to a little girl was was sulking. Hello lovely how old are you? 

After being prodded by her mother to make her answer she replied. 'I'm four'

'Oooh and when are you five' the older lady asked

'When I get off the bus' came the reply

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #11 on: August 30, 2008, 08:54:20 pm »
4 year-old ned to ned brother/friend who is poking at him, "Dinnae, Dinnae"

Ned mother, "It's no 'dinnae', it's 'gonnae no dae that'"

 ;D

Pedaldog

  • High Hopes
  • Pedaldog by any other name.
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #12 on: August 31, 2008, 11:34:30 am »
Heard in supermarket queue ysterday.. " Gerr'ere our Leevan and stop mithering yer mother".
The Ultimate Consumer.

Zoidburg

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #13 on: August 31, 2008, 06:02:22 pm »
Over heard on the bus

"daddy, whats a black hole?"

I thought "ha ha - get out of that one then smart arse" but the chap did actually mange to explain the principle of a black hole to a 6 year old so he deserves points for that one


Re: Overheard today
« Reply #14 on: August 31, 2008, 08:13:46 pm »
We were at friends for an afternoon when their son came out with...

"What's a Condom?"

We all kept straight faces as Dad answered..

"It's something that men wear"

"When?"

"Sometimes"

"Are you wearing one now?"


At which point we all lost it!




Elleigh

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #15 on: September 02, 2008, 03:29:20 pm »
On the train this morning

Bloke to girl: 'Thank God for padded shorts, else I wouldn't be sitting here today, I can tell you.'

I'm hoping he was a cyclist!

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #16 on: September 02, 2008, 03:32:27 pm »
Possibly apocryphal:


"I've been to Evita!"


"You don't look brown".

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #17 on: September 02, 2008, 03:38:25 pm »
Cycling along the road in Bognor Regis:

'Mummy, they've got lights!' by a small child, in a tone of wonder and amazement...

Wascally Weasel

  • Slayer of Dragons and killer of threads.
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #18 on: September 02, 2008, 03:47:16 pm »
A favourite from years back, in a pub near Tiverton:

"And I said to him, thank God I'm not a halibut!"

clarion

  • Tyke
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #19 on: September 02, 2008, 03:49:05 pm »
On a bus

'And then, if I have another one, I just explode!'
Getting there...

PaulF

  • "World's Scariest Barman"
  • It's only impossible if you stop to think about it
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #20 on: September 11, 2009, 09:17:31 pm »
In the New York office:

"Tasmania, is that part of Kilimanjaro?"

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #21 on: September 11, 2009, 09:46:42 pm »
on a bus
"How's your lad?"
"Oh, he works in defence now."
"Wow!"
"Yes, he makes the crates for missiles."
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #22 on: September 11, 2009, 09:51:39 pm »
A while back I overheard one of the bakers in the supermarket saying he'd been deported from Belgium for biting someone's ear off.

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #23 on: September 11, 2009, 10:06:01 pm »
2 old ladies in a supermarket, when it was 30 degrees outside:
'It's warm isn't it?'
'Yes, I took my cardigan off!' :o
Quote from: Kim
^ This woman knows what she's talking about.

pdm

  • Sheffield hills? Nah... Just potholes.
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #24 on: September 11, 2009, 10:59:02 pm »
From someone in my other half's office (in Sheffield):

"Yes, we are a large family - 6 of us. We are all local except for my brother who moved away so we don't see him as often these days..."

"Really, where does he live?"

"Rotherham."

For the geographically challenged: 10 miles away.