Author Topic: Overheard today  (Read 62303 times)

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #450 on: March 19, 2019, 05:51:26 pm »
Requested to make an espresso martini for SWMBO at about [rugby o'clock] on Saturday after getting home from Audax, daughter number one asks "isn't it a bit early?

I responded "the sun's over the yardarm"

Reply "what's an aardvark got to do with it?"

So that has been adopted as "do you want a drink?"
"Well, the sun IS over the aardvark"
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Mrs Pingu

  • Who ate all the pies? Me
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Re: Overheard today
« Reply #451 on: March 19, 2019, 06:08:47 pm »
 :thumbsup:
Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Solar powered, tea fuelled cycle-wol
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #452 on: March 19, 2019, 06:19:41 pm »
TBF, while neither aardvarks nor yardarms are everyday objects in 21st century Britain, only the first is a reasonably common word. I call it a reasonable mishearing and serendipitous for its phrase-creation.  :thumbsup:

Could aardvarks be the new narwhals?
A cup of tea is the perfect bridge between real life and cake.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Solar powered, tea fuelled cycle-wol
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #453 on: March 21, 2019, 07:41:33 pm »
One retired gent to another, exiting LBS as I entered: "And it's even lighter than my golf cart."
They seemed to have been looking at Bromptons, so I guess his golf cart isn't a Pinarello.
A cup of tea is the perfect bridge between real life and cake.

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #454 on: March 27, 2019, 09:10:37 pm »
Not really overhead, but my wife has her 'fitness girls' who are generally certifiable and I think all they mostly do is WhatsApp each other. Anyway, last Friday there was evidently a conversation apré-class that led to one of them going home and asking her teenage son what 'teabagging' was. Her second error was telling everyone she'd done this on WhatsApp.

Bless.
!nataS pihsroW

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #455 on: March 28, 2019, 07:53:19 am »
Not really overhead, but my wife has her 'fitness girls' who are generally certifiable and I think all they mostly do is WhatsApp each other. Anyway, last Friday there was evidently a conversation apré-class that led to one of them going home and asking her teenage son what 'teabagging' was. Her second error was telling everyone she'd done this on WhatsApp.

Bless.
Did she report how the poor boy responded? 😳
Sorting my life out, one shed at a time.

Giraffe

  • I brake for Giraffes
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #456 on: March 28, 2019, 08:51:37 am »
She'll get the hang of it.
2x4: thick plank; 4x4: 2 of 'em.

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #457 on: March 28, 2019, 09:22:39 am »
Not really overhead, but my wife has her 'fitness girls' who are generally certifiable and I think all they mostly do is WhatsApp each other. Anyway, last Friday there was evidently a conversation apré-class that led to one of them going home and asking her teenage son what 'teabagging' was. Her second error was telling everyone she'd done this on WhatsApp.

Bless.
Did she report how the poor boy responded? 😳

Apparently not well judging by the number of WhatsApp messages it spawned and the tears of mirth coming out of my wife's eyes as she read them, he's about fourteen. I don't think this kind of thing is dinner time conversation in their house.

In mine, on the other hand, we once spent literally hours thinking up an adult version of Trivial Pursuit.
!nataS pihsroW

Guy

  • You can trust me - I work for the government
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #458 on: March 28, 2019, 12:43:31 pm »
One feels the need to ask: What on Earth is "Teabagging"? And why does not-knowing generate such mirth?  ???
What duck?

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #459 on: March 28, 2019, 12:47:17 pm »
Ah, innocence.

Wait till you learn that a 'sea weasel' isn't a small marine mustelid.
!nataS pihsroW

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #460 on: March 28, 2019, 12:58:59 pm »
Ah, innocence.

Wait till you learn that a 'sea weasel' isn't a small marine mustelid.

I'm really sorry I googled that.

T42

  • Tea tank
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #461 on: March 28, 2019, 01:11:12 pm »
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

mattc

  • n.b. have grown beard since photo taken
    • Didcot Audaxes
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #462 on: March 28, 2019, 01:49:00 pm »
One feels the need to ask: What on Earth is "Teabagging"? And why does not-knowing generate such mirth?  ???
It's asking a fourteen-year-old that is mirthy.
Has never ridden RAAM
---------
No.11  Because of the great host of those who dislike the least appearance of "swank " when they travel the roads and lanes. - From Kuklos' 39 Articles

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
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Re: Overheard today
« Reply #463 on: March 28, 2019, 03:13:57 pm »
Ah, innocence.

Wait till you learn that a 'sea weasel' isn't a small marine mustelid.

 I've seen them around Monterey.

["Those were sea otters!" - Ed.]
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #464 on: March 28, 2019, 04:30:40 pm »
Honestly, even I'm too scared to ask what a 'sea otter' is. It probably involves lubricated bowling balls, a swimming pool, a lot of misplaced enthusiasm, and an embarrassingly public court case.
!nataS pihsroW

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #465 on: March 29, 2019, 10:41:53 pm »
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #466 on: April 24, 2019, 01:06:51 pm »
"...well it's your fault for wearing stupid shoes, isn't it?" - man walking past, to girl wearing stupid shoes, who had stopped to get a piggyback from (presumed) older sister.

(Didn't have my glasses on, but they looked like crocs in early-90s colours.)
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #467 on: May 01, 2019, 10:02:14 pm »
Probably me again, but one of my colleagues was commenting on my conspicuous fruit consumption. You eat a lot of fruit, say she – gives it a moment's thought – like a bat.

Sometimes I eat moths too, I cheerily reply, just well, because.

At that moment, our CEO's lieutenant and chief executioner pops up from behind the desk partition, looks at us, shakes her head, says nothing and backs away.

For the record, I don't eat moths, I do eat a lot of fruit, and hanging upside down makes me dizzy.
!nataS pihsroW

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #468 on: May 02, 2019, 10:29:25 am »
I got called "Odd" yesterday.  ;D

Funny thing is that the person who said it came up to me afterwards and said sorry. "No worries" I said, "I've been called a lot worse!"   ;D

Frankly, I don't mind being seen as being a bit "odd" as, er, well I am.
Cats to the left of me, cats to the right of me, cats sitting on my keyboard making far more sense than I do.

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #469 on: May 08, 2019, 09:14:07 pm »
Not heard directly by me, but reported by Ms Beardy the younger As overheard while visiting her cousins.
‘Leo William ~~~~~~, sit down on your bottom and eat your smoked Tofu’ shortly after his younger sibling was told ‘Geneva Rose ~~~~~~ fasten your gillet this minute’.

 Now, I’m not saying my nephew isn’t just a bit middle class, but the evidence would I feel support such an observation  ;D
Sorting my life out, one shed at a time.

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #470 on: May 18, 2019, 04:49:22 pm »
Middle aged man and teenage girl waiting for the lift to arrive.

Man in resigned voice "You'll have to take them back, there's no point in having an expensive pair of netball shoes that you can't wear because they don't fit"

Girl in optimistic voice "They half fit"
“There is no point in using the word 'impossible' to describe something that has clearly happened.”
― Douglas Adams

Cudzoziemiec

  • Solar powered, tea fuelled cycle-wol
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #471 on: June 03, 2019, 10:23:58 pm »
"Functionally, do I need to be able to squat, unless I'm going into the French countryside?"

(From a discussion of the relevance of various tests in spinal muscular atrophy, so not actually a humorous topic... )
A cup of tea is the perfect bridge between real life and cake.

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #472 on: June 05, 2019, 06:34:38 am »
On a crowded commuter train
"oi, you can't stand in first class, you're Australian"
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #473 on: June 11, 2019, 01:20:47 pm »
Quote
While we were on holiday I found out that my husband is useless.

He couldn't ride up the hills so I had to take the luggage off his bike and carry it for him.
<i>Marmite slave</i>

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #474 on: July 14, 2019, 06:42:32 pm »
Passed on from my son today.

He's helping set up a marquee on the local village green for the annual fete.
His friend says,"what on earth is that thing", as I cycle past on my recumbent trike.
Son replies, "that's my dad".
Friend says, "that explains a lot".
I don't want to grow old gracefully. I want to grow old disgracefully.