Today, I have been mostly watching TV with a mark-space ratio of 13:8.
"A WHAT ratio?" I hear you ask.
I turn the Cable Decoder on, and can watch any channel for 2m10 seconds. Then the screen reverts to a "Cable & Wireless" logo and a message about my Set-Top Box being updated, for 25 seconds. Black screen for another 15 seconds, then 40 seconds of the "Virgin Media" logo, then the Telly programme I was watching resumes. 130 seconds on, 80 seconds off. And repeat.
I phoned up those ever so helpful (*) Virgin Meeja people at their UK (**) Call Centre in Bangalore. The phone-droid decided after not very many minutes of me explaining the problem that an "engineer" (you mean a technician, but let it pass) would have to attend. As I'm off to Cornwall for a week, and don't know when I'll have time to let a techie in when I get back, I have passed on the offer, and will re-arrange. So it's not a rant, because I don't care that my telly isn't working.
(*) This may contain irony or traces of lies.
(**) UK = "Usually Klueless"