For those who just want to know the end result:
We made it round.
We didn't win!
We did finish in time - I think we had about quarter of an hour left!
We weren't the last to the halfway control, but it was close. I don't know if we were last back.
I didn't crash into anyone
He did crash into a parked car. But bike, car and boy were all fine.
Yes, he wants to do another one
The boy was very organised - we wrote a list of what he needed, and he got everything ready. Laid out his kit, collected together his spare layers for me to pack in a pannier, made sure I'd packed the right size inner tube for the islabike in my tools and spares kit and was in bed by 8.
I was not. There was baking, and faffing, and mudguard fettling to do, so as a result I got about 2 hour's sleep. Oops.
There were a couple of seconds of "Wha'? Ngh? Why? Don't wanna wake up!" from the Cub when I went to drag him from his pit at about quarter past 5 but then he remembered The Plan and tiptoed downstairs without waking his brother and was dressed, first breakfasted and ready to go in record time, for him. A last check of the checklist (Tickets? Railcard? Route sheet? Suncream? Cake?) and we were off for a quick sprint across York to the station, with the Cub commenting in astonishment that the roads before 6am "are like cyclist heaven!" because it was so quiet. M'boy needs to try some night-riding.... We arrived at the station in plenty of time so splashed out on coffee and pastries to take on the train with us before making our way via lifts and subways to platform 10 where the 6:34 was waiting for us, although the doors weren't open yet.
After about 10 minutes they unlocked the doors and we could get on and do battle with the dangly space before finding some seats and settling down for second breakfast
(and yes onb - I know, he needs a haircut!)
The train guard actually came to find us about 10 minutes into the journey, to thank us for doing a good job of loading bikes and panniers in a tidy and secure way
He had tales to tell of grumpy inconsiderate cyclists (including one who attempted to shove him onto the track when he couldn't board because the bike space was full before throwing his bike down some stairs then trying to get on the train without it!) and said he thought it was important to recognise when we got it right too. I said that we knew a lot of cyclists who did a lot of journeys on a lot of trains showing lots of consideration for other passengers and staff, and wasn't it a shame that there were those few people out there who spoil it for all of the rest of us.....
I suggested a bit of a snooze to the boy, but he was too excited and so filled the time with eating everything in sight instead. Essential carb loading, or something. Rower40, with his rubber-band drive commuter bike, joined us at Derby, just a couple of stops from the end of our journey, and was able to tell us exactly when we needed to start extracting bikes from dangly spaces and which side the door would open and all the useful inside information that makes train journeys with bicycles so much smoother and simpler. Duly disembarked in Tamworth we indulged in a spot of bicycle jenga to fit 3 bikes in the lift down to road level, and then we were ready to go.
With the added benefit of Satnav-ery we found our way to the Pretty Pigs where a plenty of bikes and cyclists were to be seen, and several people clearly recognised us from my description (the fat blond bird and the very blond kid with his hair in his eyes) and said hello. Having locked up the bikes and affixed a bracket for Rower's second GPS to the islabike's bars we wandered into the pub where Rower had some toast and coffee and the boy set to on breakfast number three of the day, remembering to photograph it first
and washing down his bacon butty with a large glass of lemonade
I left them to it, and wandered back out to the car park to collect brevet cards and introduce myself to the org. I was quite clearly the least serious cyclist there, in my rolled up jeans and school sandals, but nobody cared and everyone was very welcoming. I managed to work out who MarmiteGeoff was (can't possibly imagine what gave it away) but couldn't find any takers for a slice of cake - yet.
When I went back to see if breakfast was finished, I found that CrinklyCub was having great fun discovering the joys of GPS and Rower had made the acquaintance of Androcles of this parish, who was riding with his boy. I realised that I'd made a slight technical error in wearing civvies and not a jersey as, since it was clearly going to be much to warm for me to wear a fleece, I had no pocket in which to carry a camera but Rower came to the rescue with a spare lanyard and the boy and I actually remembered to put some suncream on before setting off.
As 10 o'clock approached we went to unlock our various bicycles and were ready to go - towards the back of the pack, with the added benefit of a several of yellow-shirted Tamworth CC riders cheerfully shepherding us along - several of whom I'm sure are of this parish but I'm rubbish, and failed to introduce myself and therefore didn't work out who was who. Sorry
We followed the pack for the first couple of miles, including a mild incline that had the Cub looking grumpy (he always takes a while to get going) and then a wee swoop down under the motorway and, remarkably quickly, we were out onto lovely quiet lanes with, in the main, deliciously smooth road surfaces to enjoy.
The majority of the field disappeared from view fairly swiftly, but Androcles and his boy seemed happy to tootle at Cub-speed, MarmiteGeoff very kindly stayed with us for the first half and we even got an TamworthCC escort for one short stretch of busy-ish road - they said they wanted to be sure we got over that bit safely before disappearing rather swiftly into the distance. It made a really big difference to CrinklyCub having other people to ride with - I think that the whole day with just me would have been rather more challenging for him, so the company along the way was greatly appreciated!
He would have liked, I suspect, to stop and have a proper look at the interesting toy that we saw
but we had a schedule to keep to!
The first info control, going under the canal, presented a perfect opportunity for indulging in a spot of light flap-jackery
and also gave Androcles' lad a chance to show my boy how a real audaxer does it - stop, eat, ready to go in about the quarter of the time of my King of Faffing. Then onwards through green and yellow fields, in glorious sunshine albeit with a not particularly friendly wind. Said wind was responsible for a minor flying small boy's hat moment, but fortunately Rower captured it by running it over and foiled its escape plan.
The navigation at this point would have been remarkably easy even if we hadn't had 2 GPSs, Androcles following the route sheet and the added bonus of expert guidance from MarmiteGeoff, since there was a plenty of brown roadsigns pointing the way to the Battlefield Railway line, and we duly found the lane alongside the canal towards Shackerstone Station. Just to warn you, NotSoTotalNewbie - you wouldn't like this bit.
But the end
justifies the means. We were rummaging for our platform tickets (which we had been given with the brevet cards, included in the very reasonable entry fee) but clearly we were identifiably audaxers, as we got waved through the ticket hall and onto the utterly delightful, if somewhat breezy, platform. And, best of all, we were just in time to watch the arrival of what would later be the 12:30 departure
With brevet cards dutifully stickered, the boy took the camera off to take photographs of the exciting steamy goodness while waiting for our food
and MarmiteGeoff came to check that we were OK (what a gent) before heading off to accompany his family on the rest of the route. A pleasure to make your acquaintance, sir
Then we got on with the very important business of lunch - Rower's bacon baguette
and the cub's toasty
although I settled for a nice cup of tea. Then there was just time to watch the engine run around (did I get that right Rower?) and head off
and for CrinklyCub to use up any excess energy running up to the bridge to see it off and back again
Then it was back onto the track to retrace our steps back alongside the canal (NSTN, you may wish to look away now)
with the added bonus of narrowboats on the move to admire
Then onwards we went - and either my boy had a serious turn of speed or we didn't quite manage to get the wind behind us just yet - I leave it for the reader to decide which is the more likely...
(and yes, onb, he
still needs a haircut!)
There was one bit of a climb that had somebody - not me
- briefly making use of the 24" gear and those with layers still to strip off removing them on the way to the second info, and we passed a very lovely church
and I was also quite tickled by the "Odd House"
Our little bunch was still in fine form, with Androcles' boy still cheerfully spinning along and even my word champion whinger keeping relatively sunny-tempered
There was a moment going through a particularly perfect shady tree-lined lane when it occurred to me that I really couldn't think of anywhere I'd rather be at that precise moment in time.
Then we had the one proper-ish climb of the day, and my boy was looking dispirited at the start until a bit of tactical race-challenging from both me and Rower got him up out of the saddle and going for it. About half way up he was starting to fade, so I asked "have you not still not a spare gear or two?" "Yes...." came the answer. "Lucky you," I said, lying slightly since I actually had an entire chain ring's worth left myself at that point, "can I borrow one?". However, it turned out that his wimpishness was a cunning ploy as, a minute later and having recovered sufficiently the little swine put a sprint on for the last couple of hundred metres to the top, where we found a rather impressive radio mast to greet us
This wsa a perfect spot to pause to regroup, and to recover from the climb with the aid of a bit of chocolate and bananananananana cake.
There then followed a really most completely delightful descent. We started down, and saw round a corner the remarkably pleasant looking road to come stretching down and down forever. The young'uns (and lightweight ones) were at the front at this point, but sometimes you just have to let gravity do its thang. I called out to warn them that there was probably going to be some overtaking about to take place, and may have indulged in a bit of a 'woohoo!' when it did. The bike computer informs me that I hit something in the region of 62kph, and when I glanced back over my shoulder I saw Androcles following swiftly behind. The boys followed a little more sedately, with Rower (who - and remember that he's the one who
wasn't actually in charge of a small person there - commented that he thought it was probably the responsible thing to do to not abandon the 9 year old and the 12 year old just for the fun of the swoop; I'm a bad bad parent, aren't I?) bringing up the rear.
Then it would have been a straightforward last few miles with tail-wind assistance back to the pub, were it not for my boy getting distracted by the GPS mount swiveling on his handlebars and finally having his first proper crash - straight into the back of a parked car. It was a remarkably impressive kersplat and resulted in some fairly impressive tears. But nothing broken, no blood, yes the bike's fine. And we went back and checked, and there was no damage to the car. After a minute or two I suspected that the boy's anguish was more about the fact that he was incredibly embarassed and had given himself a right proper shock rather than because he was in any significant pain, and suggested that this could well be the moment for the emergency haribo - a solution that caused near-instantaneous improvement. I also sent him off to go and offer fizzy sugar and e-numbers to our other junior rider - so that I could finally, once he wasn't looking, give way to the enormous fit of the giggles that had been threatening from the moment that I realised what he'd done, and that he hadn't come to any actual harm.
Then it was back to the pub to hand in our brevet cards, with about quarter of an hour to spare, and somehow a chocolate and banananananananana cake managed to appear on the table at the final control. Most peculiar, that. We opted for some swift rehydration with orange juices and lemonade in the beer garden whilst the boys, who obviously hadn't had enough exercise for the day, looned about with sticks then said goodbye to Androcles and his son and headed indoors to join the gigantic queue to buy a carvery, using out £1 off tokens.
Cub did the honours for his dinner
whilst I had a bit of a wait for my veggie mushroom lasagne, but it was worth it
- I don't think I've ever seen a plate quite so big. There was no space left for pudding, although Rower did manage to find a space in his bag for the Mildenhall cake CrinklyCub presented him with before we headed off back towards the station, taking the canal tow path
to avoid the teatime traffic. The tunnels were low enough that, although the cub fitted neatly, even I had to duck a little on occasion!
Back at Tamworth station we had a short wait for our train, and apparently my boy still had plenty of energy left - he was bouncing like a jack in the box. Eventually Rower decided to go for some distraction and took him off on a guided tour up and down and round to explore all the platforms (so that my boy would give me a bit of peace!)
and discuss the odd arrangement of two completely unconnected lines and other important_railway_stuff
When our train arrived we were, naturally, millimetre-perfectly placed for the bike storage and the three steeds were swiftly stowed. I was given very short shrift when I went to sit next to the lad and so dutifully banished myself to the other side of the aisle such that he could spend the next half hour discussing all things railway-related. I may have heard the word 'why' quite a lot in the time it took to get to Derby, and have come to the conclusion that Rower must have the patience of a saint.
Having said goodbye to Rower and the rubber-band-drive bike at Derby, we settled down for the remainder of the journey with the cub eating everything left in the bag and the pair of us being judgemental about the hideous mess that the teenage girl across the aisle left behind when she got off in Sheffield
Then the boy entertained himself by taking photographs through the window. His efforts can be seen
here, but he was particularly please with his ghostly self-portrait,
with spotting a bike on the platform
and decided we needed one of me, possibly as photographic evidence of why audaxing after 2 hours sleep is not the best plan
(the rest of mine are
here if you really want to see them)
Arriving back in York around half 8, the Cub was yawning his head off and I was slightly concerned about the ride across town, but he successfully negotiated Punch-up Corner and the not-quite-a-roundabout near Clifford's Tower without a hiccup, and we found ourselves back at the Den with one very tired boy, and one fairly tired mum, but a great sense of achievement.
A delightful route, really well organised and we didn't need to be audacious at all because we were so spendidly well looked after. Thanks to all involved in the organising and all who kept us company (and stopped me getting us lost) on the way round - especially Rower.
And, although last night he wasn't quite sure about doing another one because he was spectacularly tired, this morning he was talking about taking a trip to Bengeo in June.....
