Having had the Peddars Way on my radar for a long time I finally got round to persuading a disparate group of friends to join me for a weekend cycling. We had a great time and I felt I ought to write a thankyou note to their wives for letting them come along.
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Dear Ali, Janette, Sarah, and Sharon,
Thank you very much for letting your little boys bring their bikes to play with me at the weekend, we had a lovely time and they were all very well behaved.
We set off from Knettishall in the rain but that didn’t dampen their spirits. Plum gleefully set off in pursuit of some stray dogs, but their owners weren’t really amused. We biked along some lovely wet and slippery tracks and duck-boards and out into open fields. Eventually the sun came out and we took the opportunity to eat Julie’s ‘go-faster’ cake (full of prunes and bran for energy) which kept us on our toes for the next few miles.
When we came across the military zone at Stanford we thought it would be great larks to ignore the warning signs and cycle straight through. It was very peaceful and we didn’t see any other people but had lots of laughs identifying the bursts of small-arms fire and spotting the tank tracks. When the large shells exploded nearby we thought it best to find our way back, particularly after Arnie had spotted ahead what he thought was the same church we’d passed half-an-hour ago. Little Geoffrey amused us by donning his balaclava and scaling the perimeter fence, just like James Bond in the films.
By this time we were all getting a little hungry so it was a relief that we stumbled across The Olde Windmill at Great Cressingham. It turned out to be a charming public house with helpful staff. Plum charmed a young smiley waitress into getting him a cup of tea but couldn’t persuade her to give him a 10% pensioner’s discount. Phillip was a bit naughty and insisted that we had some beer to go with our sandwiches, and what a delight to find an exceptionally well-kept pint of Adnams. As the rain persisted outside it was a little difficult to persuade the boys to leave the hostelry, little Geoffrey muttering something about ‘medicinal brandy’, but eventually we moved on.
As the afternoon wore on the sunshine again broke through and we had a lovely view of the Priory at Castle Acre from across the valley. The ford at the base of the hill was rather deep but none of the boys was silly enough to try riding through it and we all safely took the footpath round the edge. It was late afternoon by the time we reached our first day’s destination, The Ostrich Inn, and we quickly set about putting up our tents for the night. Young Plum was a bit naughty insisting that there was no room in his tent for anyone else because of the size of his
wind bag Lulu lilo. It all worked out alright though because Phillip’s was very large so he and little Geoffrey could snuggle up together in the inner sanctum while Arnie could sleep on his
erection camp-bed that he had erected in the outer. We had a super meal there in the evening, accompanied by a couple of well-earned drinks. We did laugh when we realised that Plum’s cup of tea cost more per pint than the lovely St Edmunds Ale.
Of course it rained quite heavily overnight but we were still in good humour as we tucked into an enormous breakfast. I must say the staff were really helpful although little Geoffrey was dancing around a bit while he waited for the toilet to be opened up. We packed up our tents but Arnie made us laugh by attempting to make his skinny tyres really hard and only succeeding in destroying the valve. Funnily enough his first spare inner tube had a similar problem, but his second spare managed to hold some air. And so we set off into the grey drizzly morning. We hadn’t gone very far when little Geoffrey thought it was time he learnt how to mend a puncture and we spent a happy half-hour helping him put a patch on his inner tube. The hand-wash really came in useful at this point in our adventure. This part of the ride was mostly off-road and with the rain and rutted tracks it made for rather slow going. Young Arnie tried to liven things up by shifting from riding in a rut to the top of the grassy middle but his tyres decided otherwise and he ended up in heap at the side of the track. Fortunately his helmet wasn’t damaged and Phillip earned several Brownie points by being very solicitous and cradling Arnie’s head in his lap while he recovered. (Just keep an eye on the dear boy, Ali, in case he doesn’t feel well over the next few days – he does seem to have a tendency to want to lead with his head). After this we made good progress until, not to be outdone by Arnie, little Geoffrey decided he’d also like to try a purler. Fortunately, Phillip had a plaster to stem the flow of blood from his nose and I gently administered it. Just a shame we hadn’t thought to get some of those pretty ones with Mickey Mouse on, it would have looked quite fetching. I do hope his nose isn’t broken, Sharon, it might spoil his rugged good looks.
Still in drizzle we arrived in Sedgeford just before 2 o’clock and imagine our surprise and delight to find that the King William IV inn was open and serving hot food and a decent pint of Adnams. We were all still quite full from our breakfast so we settled for a bowl of warming beef and tomato soup in the convivial atmosphere of another lovely country hostelry. Once we left Sedgeford we had only a short few miles to travel before, cresting a slight rise in the terrain, we spied the sea ahead of us. It was a quick and slightly hair-raising descent down to sea-level and we were soon crossing the A149 towards Holme. The weather had dried up by the time we reached our final destination and Plum amused us by rolling around in the rabbit droppings as he struggled to take his waterproof trousers off. After we had taken some pictures to mark the occasion we set off to look for a celebratory ice-cream, but the ice-cream vendor had decided the day was a write-off and had packed up. The boys put a brave face on their disappointment and we set off to The Old Coach House in Thornham to meet you girls, arriving in time for the boys to tittify themselves and be settled in with a restorative drink before you arrived.
It was lovely of you to come all that way and we had a really jolly meal together. Sad good-byes ensued as little Geoffrey, Phillip and Arnie were taken home, but Plum and I had a lovely little ride in the evening sunshine on to our campsite at Deepdale were we had a hot shower and an early night in a quiet pitch near the toilet block. We woke to glorious sunshine and deep blue sky on Monday morning, packed up our stuff and headed to the cafe for breakfast. Poor Plum could only manage some muesli and tea but I made up for it with a rather more substantial meal. Then we set off to wend our way homeward, me to Blickling for morning coffee, Whitlingham for lunch and home for afternoon tea while Plum went via the shrine at Walsingham to put in a plea for eternal life and thence to a Caravan Club campsite under the by-pass in Norwich.
Suffice to say I think the boys all enjoyed themselves enormously and we would love to do something similar again in the future, although Julie says I should wait a while for the bruises and memories to fade a little. Perhaps you girls would like to come along on one of these little jaunts? It wouldn’t be quite the same, of course, as we’d have to include some girly comfort elements but I’m sure it could be great japes.
Thank you once again for letting your boys come to play.
Ever yours,
Ian
