Author Topic: more insane management speak phrases  (Read 69152 times)

Tim Hall

  • I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes
Re: more insane management speak phrases
« Reply #600 on: April 12, 2019, 12:35:54 pm »

as well as ensuring consumers’ full natural experiences.


There's a lot to be said in favour of full natural experiences. I haven't experienced any as a consumer though.
There are two ways you can get exercise out of a bicycle: you can
"overhaul" it, or you can ride it.  (Jerome K Jerome)

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: more insane management speak phrases
« Reply #601 on: April 12, 2019, 12:59:14 pm »
There's a Negasonic Teenage Warhead in Deadpool, if that helps.

This has just led me to learn that the Marvel character was named after the Monster Magnet track rather than the other way round.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

citoyen

  • Cat 6 Racer
Re: more insane management speak phrases
« Reply #602 on: April 12, 2019, 01:17:01 pm »
So basically, what they say is true!

Quote
***** is a special carrier oil. ***** uses a unique technique of an award-winning Brassica Napus
Seed Oil and natural ***, leading to the perfect natural extraction with reliable stability through a
purification process by ****. Herbal infusions of ***** can serve as an effective skin conditioning agent,
as well as ensuring consumers’ full natural experiences.

...and it's also a great big mountain of farm waste...

I miss blockchain bollocks. It's better than this guff.

I'm currently working for a well-known purveyor of non-pharmaceutical health and wellbeing products, and writing this kind of guff is my bread and butter. The real art is making medical claims for the products without making any medical claims at all, because that would contravene the regulations.

I'm not proud of myself but it pays the mortgage.

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: more insane management speak phrases
« Reply #603 on: April 12, 2019, 02:23:03 pm »
I'm modestly proud that work I did nudged us a (tiny) bit closer to synthetic nucleotides, which of course opened the way to synthetic DNA, and the likely eventual demise of the human race as we engineer our own overlords.
!nataS pihsroW

spesh

  • Trump-Russia posting ninja
Re: more insane management speak phrases
« Reply #604 on: April 12, 2019, 02:28:09 pm »
That should be submitted to New Scientist. They have a slot for that on the inside back page.

I'm fascinated to know what a 'megasonic wave' is. Care to ask the marketing team ?

They'll just tell you to knock it off with those negative waves, man...
If you think this has a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention.

It's not the despair... I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: more insane management speak phrases
« Reply #605 on: April 12, 2019, 02:35:04 pm »
In other news, someone actually made a quantum crystal (admittedly a teeny one, but still the largest object yet to violate Bell's inequality).

They somehow failed to mention whether it cured any ailment when swung on a pendulum over someone's belly.
!nataS pihsroW