Author Topic: more insane management speak phrases  (Read 88124 times)

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: more insane management speak phrases
« Reply #675 on: September 07, 2020, 02:15:17 pm »
House! Spoiler tags, because a bit of your soul might die.
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"We made it up as we went along and rushed the project to completion, but we're spinning this as us being innovative. We also made a pretty website with fun clicky bits, and drew some pictures to show people what we meant because they couldn't understand the nonsense words we were spewing out."
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: more insane management speak phrases
« Reply #676 on: September 07, 2020, 03:07:49 pm »
“We asked the lusers what they wanted and started to make it.  Then the lusers decided it needed to open and close Tower Bridge, carry their golf bats and be capable of sending egg and cress sandwiches* electronically.  So it ended up being a bit of a rush job.  Embarrassingly, we documented the whole process instead of The Product, which is why the lusers are now complaining that they can’t make it work.  Our annual bonus is, however, guaranteed.”

* Other bread-and-filling-based snack products are available. E&OE. SPQR. THFC.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Cudzoziemiec

  • Eating all the pies and drinking all the tea.
Re: more insane management speak phrases
« Reply #677 on: September 07, 2020, 04:24:42 pm »
“We asked the lusers what they wanted and started to make it.  Then the lusers decided it needed to open and close Tower Bridge, carry their golf bats and be capable of sending egg and cress sandwiches* electronically.  So it ended up being a bit of a rush job.  Embarrassingly, we documented the whole process instead of The Product, which is why the lusers are now complaining that they can’t make it work.  Our annual bonus is, however, guaranteed.”

* Other bread-and-filling-based snack products are available. E&OE. SPQR. THFC.
Tiermat's Hotspur of Football Coffee?
Days become simply the spaces between dreams, spaces between the shifting floors of time...

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: more insane management speak phrases
« Reply #678 on: September 07, 2020, 07:41:07 pm »
we have acquired some manglement consultants who seem to be obsessed with this kind of thing.  They keep needing my area of technical (rather than handwavy) expertise and seem miffed when I say "I'll have to go away and think about it"
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens