Author Topic: The Male Gaze  (Read 4249 times)

ian

  • feat. Undead Jess & Finestre, Queen of Hell
Re: The Male Gaze
« Reply #125 on: February 08, 2021, 11:25:36 am »
But that's different from the sort of gaze that follows them home and starts trying the doors, which sometimes seems a lost distinction on some men.
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TimC

  • Old blerk sometimes onabike.
Re: The Male Gaze
« Reply #126 on: February 08, 2021, 12:43:04 pm »
I was talking about the appraisal earlier, not the ogling which is still often ubiquitous. I'm obviously modern enough that my toes curl when I hear the builder's wolf-whistle and 'alright love, smiling won't kill you.' If I could organize an air-strike, I'm sure it would kill them. It's an attitude that gradually seems on the way out, though not nearly fast enough. I'd also be terrified and angry if I had a daughter. Probably if I had a son too, in case he turns out like that. I'm not sure what parents do with their disappointing children. I figure statistically, at least some of the parents here must look at least one of their children and think 'why?'

But yes, daughters if you're a father. I can only imagine that I'd be in a state of abstract terror. Strangely though, that doesn't seem to inform the behaviour of some men (which I don't understand, I wouldn't want someone letching after my daughter, not even the fictional one, so why do it to someone else's?) I think we're back to education with ordnance.

I have a daughter of 24. She is in showbiz online, and dresses for that in a way that does sometimes make me cringe. However, she's also extremely capable and more than somewhat scary for any man who dares to disrespect her (including me!), whether virtually or IRL. Her mother is equally intimidating. I have no fears for either of them.

bairn again

Re: The Male Gaze
« Reply #127 on: February 08, 2021, 01:00:12 pm »
Yes, having two daughters filled me with a bit of fear ("what will it be like when they are teenagers, will I be able to cope?") but they are very capable and their mum did a good job in their upbringing that I only ever see positive reinforcement that their "good guy / wanker" antennae are accurately adjusted.     

ian

  • feat. Undead Jess & Finestre, Queen of Hell
Re: The Male Gaze
« Reply #128 on: February 08, 2021, 01:09:51 pm »
Which is all fine and good, but equally, it shouldn't be the case that women should have to be fearless and able to fight off constant unwanted male attention. Not all will have that confidence and the fault isn't with them.
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Re: The Male Gaze
« Reply #129 on: February 08, 2021, 03:22:20 pm »
2 step daughters
1 daughter
wife

ALL of them have been on the receiving end of harassment. Ranging from obscene cat calling to stalking down a dark street for hours.

(when you are a father, get a call at 1am from your daughter who is 200miles away to say they are really scared, there is a man following them, he's been following them for the past half hour after he made obscene suggestions at a bus stop - that is when you know a bitter terrified helplessness and rage at anyone who acts like this to anyone.)
<i>Marmite slave</i>

ian

  • feat. Undead Jess & Finestre, Queen of Hell
Re: The Male Gaze
« Reply #130 on: February 08, 2021, 04:20:43 pm »
There's that, but that's what, as men, we hear about. But there's lower level stuff, the need to consider your route home so you don't pass the building site baboons, considering where you can and can't cycle or jog in lycra, your walk home from the station after an after-work drink with friends, etc. etc. Men, to be honest, are often quite shit.
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Re: The Male Gaze
« Reply #131 on: February 08, 2021, 05:00:21 pm »
Gentlemen, that reminds me.

Back in the 80's I had a senior position in a meeja company. The CE and myself shared a secretary, she was a Brigitte Nielsen lookalike, around 6ft, payed up to the part, dressed to kill, and yes I  (and about everyone else) gazed. I strongly suspect we were meant to and that had people stopped gazing, she would have started banging the sides and waggling the aerial to try to get it working again.

In my defence, apart from it being the 80's, I also recognised that she was much brighter and more capable than the job she was doing, and offered her a move into IT support. Last I heard she was head of IT for a substantial organisation.

Re: The Male Gaze
« Reply #132 on: February 08, 2021, 05:14:41 pm »
I generally get on with the women in the organisation I work in.
I like to think that is, amongst other reasons, in no small part, down to the fact that I do not harass.
The same cannot be said of some, not all, but a significant number of, the men I work with.
The guy from security is un-fucking-believable.
If you are wearing a skirt, you'll not get past his hut without unsolicited comment.
I'm delighted to say that the (woman) PA I work with has had words with him and put him in his place.
These days, when he sees her coming, he retreats to skulk in his hut.  8)

Re: The Male Gaze
« Reply #133 on: February 09, 2021, 08:47:33 am »
More food for thought from ContraPoints:

(click to show/hide)

“Some little observations I’ve made based on a handful of anecdotes.”

The image has been placed within <spoiler> tags.  Some employers are less receptive to pictures of women in states of undress than others.

Faithfully

Your shiny metal servant

Re: The Male Gaze
« Reply #134 on: February 09, 2021, 07:17:00 pm »
Quote from: shiny metal servant
The image has been placed within <spoiler> tags.  Some employers are less receptive to pictures of women in states of undress than others.

My apologies, I should've thought to do that.

(click to show/hide)

I don't always agree with Natalie Wynn, but I'm a big fan of her work.