Author Topic: Little Eye On The Provinces  (Read 124850 times)

Kim

  • 2nd in the world
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1850 on: January 23, 2019, 12:08:41 am »
Given it's Cheltenham, it could have been a GCHQ team-building exercise. Cryptanalysis probably has a higher than average oddball quotient. :demon:

Also ritual sacrifice of goats is a proven system administration technique, and I believe they may have a few computers at that GCHQ that they have nowadays.
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

spesh

  • Mental floss tycoon
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1851 on: January 23, 2019, 12:25:41 am »
Given it's Cheltenham, it could have been a GCHQ team-building exercise. Cryptanalysis probably has a higher than average oddball quotient. :demon:

Also ritual sacrifice of goats is a proven system administration technique, and I believe they may have a few computers at that GCHQ that they have nowadays.

<The Laundry Files*> Must be an older operating system if it needs a couple of pints of goat claret.  ;) </The Laundry Files>


* Ref: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Laundry_Files
This is not The Greatest Sig Line in the World, no.
This is just a tribute.

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1852 on: January 23, 2019, 10:13:43 am »
Satanic ritual, or normal for Weatherspoons?

Metaphor for Brexit, I'd say, given Tim "Feck Drink Arse Brexit" Martin's enthusiasm for the wretched thing, which now includes spamming random households with his poxy magazine.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1853 on: January 23, 2019, 10:49:35 am »
New menu item, I suspect.
!nataS pihsroW

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1854 on: January 24, 2019, 05:56:10 pm »
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/17382700.haydon-wick-stone-henge-rediscovered-and-its-partly-thanks-to-pokemon-go-players/

20 years old!  We didn't even have reality TV or Facebook back then.  Just imagine how hard everyday life must have been for the builders.
Never tell me the odds.


Sorting my life out, one shed at a time.

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1857 on: January 26, 2019, 05:00:06 pm »
Surprisingly not.
Never tell me the odds.

spesh

  • Mental floss tycoon
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1858 on: January 26, 2019, 05:26:31 pm »
The better spoof/satirical news sites are usually a little more subtle* than the stories posted here or in the Floridian/weird world news thread, though.  :demon:


* To the point that one or two forumites have been caught out in the past and have shared stories here which they thought were gen. ;D
This is not The Greatest Sig Line in the World, no.
This is just a tribute.

Kim

  • 2nd in the world
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1859 on: February 01, 2019, 07:27:30 pm »
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

Cudzoziemiec

  • Solar powered, tea fuelled cycle-wol
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1860 on: February 03, 2019, 06:55:01 pm »
Bemmy Asdals no plastic bag nightmare!
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/whats-on/asda-superstore-nightmare-runs-completely-2503240
Quote
Fruit and veg manager Craig, said: "It's not just shopping bags, it's all consumables which include veg bags, flour bags, we even get our pizza bases from the same company.

"It's been a nightmare really, and I don't really know why it has happened.

"A lot of people have moved from loose veg to packaged veg," he added, saying the store usually encourage people to buy loose items to save on plastic use.
Lack of plastic bags prevents saving plastics. Hmmm...
The earth is vast and beautiful and contains many miraculous places. (Chekhov)

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1861 on: February 03, 2019, 07:08:14 pm »
Quote
"A lot of people have moved from loose veg to packaged veg," he added, saying the store usually encourage people to buy loose items to save on plastic use.
Wouldn't be problem in the Yeovil Asda. Yesterday they had no loose tomatoes and they usually have only one variety of loose apples. All the others are pre-packed.
"No matter how slow you go, you're still lapping everybody on the couch."

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1862 on: February 06, 2019, 02:13:31 pm »
We are making a New World (Paul Nash, 1918)

Cudzoziemiec

  • Solar powered, tea fuelled cycle-wol
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1863 on: February 09, 2019, 09:54:27 pm »
The earth is vast and beautiful and contains many miraculous places. (Chekhov)

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1864 on: February 10, 2019, 06:26:49 am »
There's people driving cars in town. https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/gridlock-eastgate-retail-centre-traps-2526362

I am not sure that sitting in your car qualifies as driving. Surely it is on road parking?

Kim

  • 2nd in the world
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1865 on: February 10, 2019, 02:13:14 pm »
There's people driving cars in town. https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/gridlock-eastgate-retail-centre-traps-2526362

I am not sure that sitting in your car qualifies as driving. Surely it is on road parking?

I think it counts for the purposes of drink-driving or operating a mobile phone.


That photo caption deserves extra BONG-not-news merit:  "There is traffic on the M32 this afternoon".
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

Cudzoziemiec

  • Solar powered, tea fuelled cycle-wol
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1866 on: February 10, 2019, 02:23:07 pm »
I was torn between posting it here or in BONG, but plumped for here on the grounds of its reporting.
The earth is vast and beautiful and contains many miraculous places. (Chekhov)

Guy

  • Left-Wing Moonbat Green NAZI
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1867 on: February 12, 2019, 09:22:22 am »
They walk among us...

Quote
'People are trying to steal my weed off me,' 999 caller tells police

A man who rang 999 to report that someone was trying to steal his drugs, has been awarded "call of the week".

Officers from Thames Valley Police in Buckinghamshire said the caller dialled 999, saying: "Hi, people are trying to steal my weed off me."

It "isn't a call that we should be getting to our 101 or 999 phone lines, particularly when reporting the theft of your drugs", officers said.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-47200700
:facepalm:
I hate the army and I hate the RAF
I don't wanna go fighting in the tropical heat
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I won't open letter bombs for you

spesh

  • Mental floss tycoon
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1868 on: February 12, 2019, 12:23:28 pm »
They walk among us...

Quote
'People are trying to steal my weed off me,' 999 caller tells police

A man who rang 999 to report that someone was trying to steal his drugs, has been awarded "call of the week".

Officers from Thames Valley Police in Buckinghamshire said the caller dialled 999, saying: "Hi, people are trying to steal my weed off me."

It "isn't a call that we should be getting to our 101 or 999 phone lines, particularly when reporting the theft of your drugs", officers said.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-47200700
:facepalm:

RFOL  ;D ;D ;D
This is not The Greatest Sig Line in the World, no.
This is just a tribute.


Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1870 on: Yesterday at 07:44:40 am »
We are making a New World (Paul Nash, 1918)

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1871 on: Yesterday at 09:05:26 am »
So, only two puppies in the box.
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1872 on: Yesterday at 09:22:26 am »
So, only two puppies in the box.

And a pussy of course.
We are making a New World (Paul Nash, 1918)

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1873 on: Yesterday at 10:52:57 am »
Your parcel was delivered by the courier at.............
Get a bicycle. You will never regret it, if you live- Mark Twain