Author Topic: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances  (Read 73676 times)

woollypigs

  • Mr Peli
    • woollypigs
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #450 on: September 04, 2017, 03:06:41 pm »
Yup clearly not enough Lego in her shared life with her uncle.
#bollockstobrexit

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #451 on: December 19, 2017, 12:43:52 am »
Dramatis personae: my wife's brother, and his daughter, who is not quite five.

- Am I the best daddy in the world?
- No, daddy.
  <wags finger>
  You need to try harder.
Sounds like the EVIL influence of premature formal education...

Context for this was fathers' day: my BIL had been given a card which proclaimed him the best daddy in the world, and was foolish enough to seek affirmation. I don't *think* formal education had anything to do with it, as the little minx had not yet started school, though she had been at a playgroup.

Meantime, she's recently told her mother who is boss:

- Mummy, you need to come when I clap my hands, and do what I say.
- Oh? Why do I have to come when you clap your hands?
- Because I don't have a bell.

(No, we are not getting her a bell for Christmas. It's tempting, but I don't think her parents would forgive us.)


hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #452 on: December 19, 2017, 01:31:28 am »
I know one lady who decided to be a teacher when she was five because she was the bossiest girl in the class.
We met as students, when she was at the local College of Education...

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #453 on: December 28, 2017, 08:12:25 pm »
Playing Boggleslam with 8yo daughter.

You start with a word made up of individual letter cards (i.e. L I V E) and are dealt a bunch of cards with individual letters on, once you start you place your cards down one at a time over any previous letter as long as it makes a proper word (and doesn't repeat the letter that is already there). No turns, just a free-for-all in order to get rid of all of your cards first.

S I C K
T I C K
T U C K
...rummaging around in cards by everyone...
T A C K
S A C K
S U C K
...
her: Oh, I can't really play my F card now can I?

3 levels of awareness:-
a) What the word is (we don't swear around her ourselves but she's been plenty of places where she will have heard it)
b) Knowing not to say the word
c) Being able to let us know both (a) and (b)
"Yes please" said Squirrel "biscuits are our favourite things."

Cudzoziemiec

  • Eating all the pies and drinking all the tea.
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #454 on: February 16, 2018, 11:31:31 am »
Small girl walking with father, mother lagging behind: "Mummy! I love you! Come on!"
Let's go for a ride to the Old Sawmill, Valentina, Buzz and you.

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #455 on: February 28, 2018, 12:09:17 am »
My wife's niece, on seeing me struggle to unwrap a Kraft Single: "You're not a tough guy, are you?"

Very perceptive, that one.

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #456 on: March 02, 2018, 12:53:36 am »
Her^ brother, 3, on being subjected to TV news reports about storm Emma: "I don't want to watch the snow. I want to watch Peppa."

Morat

  • I tried to HTFU but something went ping :(
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #457 on: April 01, 2018, 06:33:41 pm »
Mini Morat (6  and 3/4) on being asked whether his school buddy would like a Rugby Ball to go with all his footballs for his birthday.

"No, I don't think so. He finds it hard to use his hands because of his Terrible Palsy"

Which, of course, was faultless logic even if the medical jargon was slightly off. I felt like a complete idiot.
Tandem Stoker, CX bike abuser (slicks and tarmac) and owner of a sadly neglected MTB.

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #458 on: April 05, 2018, 08:08:20 am »
Andrew (4): Mummy, look at this!
Mummy: I can't, darling, I'm driving.
Andrew: Well, use the eyes in the back of your head, then.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Eating all the pies and drinking all the tea.
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #459 on: April 05, 2018, 08:50:53 am »
Small boy about 5 to his father, walking up the steps of the Central Library:
"Is this the real library?"
"Yes."
"Did you say yes?"
"Yes."
"Has it got a pirate ship?"
"Yes."

There is a pirate ship in the children's section of the library, but I'm intrigued as to what an unreal library might be.
Let's go for a ride to the Old Sawmill, Valentina, Buzz and you.

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #460 on: April 05, 2018, 09:39:13 am »
It will have a large ape as librarian  ;D
the slower you go the more you see

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #461 on: April 05, 2018, 12:44:31 pm »
There is a pirate ship in the children's section of the library, but I'm intrigued as to what an unreal library might be.

One that's not connected to L-space.
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #462 on: April 05, 2018, 01:15:45 pm »
A complex library?

(Dewey-decimal: 515.3+803.2i ?)
"Yes please" said Squirrel "biscuits are our favourite things."

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #463 on: April 21, 2018, 06:07:12 pm »
Was fettling family bikes in the garden today for a while, and guest child was moved to say "Your dad is sitting and fixing your bike as if it's the most normal thing in the world."

Is it not?  Do other people not sit in the garden on a Saturday afternoon fiddling with bicycles?

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #464 on: May 08, 2018, 09:56:14 am »
Andrew (4): Mummy, look at this!
Mummy: I can't, darling, I'm driving.
Andrew: Well, use the eyes in the back of your head, then.
Further to this:
Andrew (still 4):  Let's play Hide-and-Seek; Mummy, close ALL your eyes!

Guy

  • You can trust me - I work for the government
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #465 on: May 08, 2018, 01:30:58 pm »
Was fettling family bikes in the garden today for a while, and guest child was moved to say "Your dad is sitting and fixing your bike as if it's the most normal thing in the world."

Is it not?  Do other people not sit in the garden on a Saturday afternoon fiddling with bicycles?

If my local town Facething page is to be believed most people spend their weekend afternoons asking if there's anyone local who fixes / replaces flat tires (sic). One of the simplest transport-fettling jobs known to humanity and there are loads of adults who just can't manage to do it. Not only can they not achieve something easily mastered by primary skool-age kids, but they can't manage to remember who they paid to fix it for them last time and have to spam Facething to ask the same question over and over again. ::-)
This age thinks better of a gilded fool / Than of a threadbare saint in Wisdom's school
Thomas Dekker c1598

lou boutin

  • Les chaussures sont ma vie.
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #466 on: May 13, 2018, 09:47:33 pm »
I overheard a couple of conversations between couple of fathers and their kids tprecently, and both made me smile. 

Onfriday as I queued in the supermarket I heard a little girl say to her dad. 'Daddy, I want a kitten'
Dad 'we'll have to see'
Girl 'I don't care what you say, I'm goingt to the place where they make kittens and I'm going to get one'.

Today as I packed my car, I overheard a little boy and his father discussing a Sold sale outside a neighbouring house

Boy ' I'm surprised that's sold, if people rent too long they can't save money and then can't buy a house. It's a cruel world'.


rr

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #467 on: May 18, 2018, 10:17:48 pm »
What have we done right? Fifteen years old daughter is saying "why is Meghan Markle bowing to the patriarchy by having Charles walk her down the aisle? What's wrong with her mother"
Agreed, my wife and I walked in and out together.

Sent from my moto x4 using Tapatalk


barakta

  • Bastard lovechild of Yomiko Readman and Johnny 5
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #468 on: May 19, 2018, 10:12:14 am »
 :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

I also thought that was odd. I mean if you're GONNA do the whole walked down the aisle thing, the message "handed" from one family to another etc...

My parents split the 'father of the bride' jobs for my sister, dad walked her down the aisle and mum did the speech which was the sane way round cos mum has 2 left feet and would have tripped down the aisle and my dad isn't just monosyllabic, he's non-o-syllabic.

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #469 on: June 12, 2018, 07:26:25 pm »
Andrew (4): When I grow up I'm going to go to a Chinese school and teach English... Or PE!

Wowbagger

  • Dez's butler
    • Musings of a Gentleman Cyclist
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #470 on: July 31, 2018, 06:51:48 pm »
‘Daddy, you draw me a stegosaurus and cut it out, please Daddy. Pleeeease.’
***
‘Er, it have spiny plates. On its back.’
‘Ok.’
‘And it have thagomizers.’
‘What’s a thagomizer?’
‘It is spikes. On its tail.’
‘Ok.’
***
‘Erm... it have four thagomizers, not two.’

11 very specific dinosaurs and half an hour later...
Eating's a serious business. Don't bollocks around wagging your tail.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Eating all the pies and drinking all the tea.
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #471 on: July 31, 2018, 07:26:03 pm »
It's amazing how much detail fits in a small child's brain. My son at the age of three or four could accurately identify about twenty different species of shark. I expect he'd deny this now.
Let's go for a ride to the Old Sawmill, Valentina, Buzz and you.

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #472 on: July 31, 2018, 08:19:07 pm »
The real problem is that palaeontology progresses at a rate that renders all your dinosaur knowledge out-of-date by your mid teens, unless you have an professional interest in the field, or smalls of your own to keep you up to date with the current literature.

This explains the Jurassic Park reboots.


Actually, I'm going to start a list of things that are best done by under-10s.  #1 is the waving of chequered flags at the end of bicycle races - if you want that job done properly, give it to someone small enough to have an appropriately unambiguous degree of enthusiasm (DAHIKT).  Technical consultancy for Jurassic Cretaceous Park sequels can go in at #2.
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

Cudzoziemiec

  • Eating all the pies and drinking all the tea.
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #473 on: July 31, 2018, 08:33:27 pm »
Yes, between my era of dinosaurology and my son's, brontosaurus had become extinct and its evolutionary niche been taken by diplodocus! At least, I think it was diplodocus.

Another one you can add to your list is carrying/pushing trolleys and baskets in supermarkets.
Let's go for a ride to the Old Sawmill, Valentina, Buzz and you.

T42

  • Old fool in a hurry
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #474 on: August 01, 2018, 09:49:50 am »
Then you slowly realize that you have progressed from knowing about fossils to being one.  :'(
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.