Author Topic: Best error message ever  (Read 2252 times)

andygates

  • Peroxide Viking
Best error message ever
« on: July 17, 2008, 04:43:34 pm »
Our Blackberry server just gave out the following piece of sheer genius:

Quote
Transaction Complete: SUCCESS_ERROR_FAIL

The very apex of gibberish. :thumbsup:
It takes blood and guts to be this cool but I'm still just a cliché.
OpenStreetMap UK & IRL Streetmap & Topo: ravenfamily.org/andyg/maps updates weekly.

Charlotte

  • Dissolute libertine
  • Here's to ol' D.H. Lawrence...
    • charlottebarnes.co.uk
Re: Best error message ever
« Reply #1 on: July 17, 2008, 04:46:42 pm »
Commercial, Editorial and PR Photographer - www.charlottebarnes.co.uk

Woofage

  • Ain't no hooves on my bike.
Re: Best error message ever
« Reply #2 on: July 17, 2008, 04:59:42 pm »
I used to like "Please insert the floppy disk labelled Windows 95 CDROM"

But the best one was on a work laptop brought home by Mrs Woofage. After an application crash the message told the used to contact the software vendor for support. The application? Micro$oft Office. Anything else installed on the machine? No!
Pen Pusher

Re: Best error message ever
« Reply #3 on: July 17, 2008, 06:04:49 pm »
What about the famous "keyboard error: press any key to continue" fantastic one that when the keyboard error was the fact that the keyboard was not plugged in.
I think you'll find it's a bit more complicated than that.

Valiant

  • aka Sam
    • Radiance Audio
Re: Best error message ever
« Reply #4 on: July 17, 2008, 06:07:20 pm »
^^^ Is my fave
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

Support Equilibrium

redshift

  • High Priestess of wires
    • redshift home
Re: Best error message ever
« Reply #5 on: July 17, 2008, 08:51:21 pm »
My favourite: "You don't exist. Go away."  If the UID doesn't have a valid user, say if /etc/passwd gets corrupted, *nix sometimes throws this up in the console.
L
:)
Windcheetah No. 176
The all-round entertainer gets quite arsey,
They won't translate his lame shit into Farsi
Somehow to let it go would be more classy…

andygates

  • Peroxide Viking
Re: Best error message ever
« Reply #6 on: July 17, 2008, 08:54:04 pm »
Trust *NIX to just be plain rude to people! :)
It takes blood and guts to be this cool but I'm still just a cliché.
OpenStreetMap UK & IRL Streetmap & Topo: ravenfamily.org/andyg/maps updates weekly.

Re: Best error message ever
« Reply #7 on: July 17, 2008, 08:59:39 pm »


 :thumbsup:

Thor

  • Super-sonnicus idioticus
Re: Best error message ever
« Reply #8 on: July 17, 2008, 09:03:55 pm »
From distant mainframe days...

Fatal error.  Operator killed.

Which suggests that some unfortunate tape loading drone in the computer room got  whacked 'cos you pressed the wrong key.
It was a day like any other in Ireland, only it wasn't raining

Re: Best error message ever
« Reply #9 on: July 17, 2008, 09:06:04 pm »
What about the famous "keyboard error: press any key to continue" fantastic one that when the keyboard error was the fact that the keyboard was not plugged in.

Lots of people just don't get that one. It would have been far less interesting if the BIOS authors had made the message:

"No keyboard detected. Connect keyboard and Press F1 to continue."

I'm surprised they didn't do something similar for "Video Card Not Present", which is another odd one to see.
"Yes please" said Squirrel "biscuits are our favourite things."

Woofage

  • Ain't no hooves on my bike.
Re: Best error message ever
« Reply #10 on: July 17, 2008, 09:35:58 pm »
I'm surprised they didn't do something similar for "Video Card Not Present", which is another odd one to see.

The system beep tells you the message in Morse code?
Pen Pusher

Re: Best error message ever
« Reply #11 on: July 17, 2008, 09:36:28 pm »
I was always amused by the term "Broken Arrow".

It has two meanings which I'm aware of (there are probably a lot of others as well).

1. When there are various errors relating to the connection of an IBM 3270 terminal, the symbol which appears on the screen is called a Broken Arrow.

2. The US military refers to an accident involving a nuclear weapon as a Broken Arrow.

The earlier name is reckoned to have been chosen knowing the second definition!

(OK, strictly speaking a nuclear weapon accident is only a Broken Arrow if the accident doesn't involve the risk of a nuclear war).
Actually, it is rocket science.
 

Re: Best error message ever
« Reply #12 on: July 17, 2008, 09:42:56 pm »
I'm surprised they didn't do something similar for "Video Card Not Present", which is another odd one to see.

The system beep tells you the message in Morse code?

BIOS redirection to serial port. The blades in my blade server have no video card so they shunt this out during POST. The CMOS got wiped on one and it wouldn't boot up because the default CMOS setting is to halt on any POST errors.
"Yes please" said Squirrel "biscuits are our favourite things."

Re: Best error message ever
« Reply #13 on: July 17, 2008, 09:46:19 pm »
Trust *NIX to just be plain rude to people! :)

http://www.feep.net/~roth/geek-humor/unix/unix.shell.jokes

Code: [Select]
  $ cat "food in tin cans"
  cat: cannot open food in tin cans
"Yes please" said Squirrel "biscuits are our favourite things."

chris

  • (aka chris)
Re: Best error message ever
« Reply #14 on: July 17, 2008, 09:58:21 pm »
Not exactly an error message, but many years ago a colleague ported a Fortran application from a PDP 11 to a Whitechapel Workstation (an obscure Unix box). He failed to work out that the default integer was a different number of bits to the integer on the PDP11 and the customer phoned up saying that a progress message on the application was reporting many thousand percent done and that the estimated completion time was many hours before the application started!

chris

  • (aka chris)
Re: Best error message ever
« Reply #15 on: July 17, 2008, 10:00:26 pm »
One of the releases of the Progress RDBMS used to report something along the lines of -

ERROR - This error does not exist.

Re: Best error message ever
« Reply #16 on: July 17, 2008, 11:00:35 pm »
The boot sequence on one of our SEMs includes the lines "Error BIOS not detected" followed by a line a few seconds later "No Operating System installed" then a longish wait (about 1.5 secs actually) and then Windows XP loads.
I always find that pretty funny.

The IT guys are forbidden to touch the computer, even though I know they're itching to try and find out why it does it.

Re: Best error message ever
« Reply #17 on: July 17, 2008, 11:06:12 pm »
The boot sequence on one of our SEMs includes the lines "Error BIOS not detected" followed by a line a few seconds later "No Operating System installed" then a longish wait (about 1.5 secs actually) and then Windows XP loads.
I always find that pretty funny.

(click to show/hide)
"Yes please" said Squirrel "biscuits are our favourite things."

Martin

Re: Best error message ever
« Reply #18 on: July 17, 2008, 11:16:52 pm »
I can't remember which of our old DOS based blood analyer pc's it was but was always confused by the message "Bad Mismatch"  ???

tiermat

  • According to Jane, I'm a Unisex SpaceAdmin
Re: Best error message ever
« Reply #19 on: July 18, 2008, 07:38:37 am »
One of the releases of the Progress RDBMS used to report something along the lines of -

ERROR - This error does not exist.

My favourite is similar to that, in older versions of Lotus Notes (V4 IIRC) it actually used to come up with an error box with the message:

"Error: There is no Error"

If you clicked on ok you could carry on working as before....
I feel like Captain Kirk, on a brand new planet every day, a little like King Kong on top of the Empire State

TheLurker

  • Goes well with magnolia.
Re: Best error message ever
« Reply #20 on: July 18, 2008, 08:21:58 am »
BeOS had a nice approach to error messages.
A sample : NetPositive error messages


Τα πιο όμορφα ταξίδια γίνονται με τις δικές μας δυνάμεις - Φίλοι του Ποδήλατου

Re: Best error message ever
« Reply #21 on: July 18, 2008, 09:33:45 am »
One of our applications had a very Hungarian approach to English:

"You have been idle for too long and you have been disconnected"

SLACKER!!!
Haggerty F, Haggerty R, Tomkins, Noble, Carrick, Robson, Crapper, Dewhurst, Macintyre, Treadmore, Davitt.

Woofage

  • Ain't no hooves on my bike.
Re: Best error message ever
« Reply #22 on: July 18, 2008, 10:10:02 am »
Pen Pusher

Re: Best error message ever
« Reply #23 on: July 18, 2008, 10:48:14 am »
My favourite:

% man: why did you get a divorce?
  man:: Too many arguments.

 ;D