Author Topic: The best doping excuse ever?  (Read 1362 times)

The best doping excuse ever?
« on: August 16, 2012, 06:13:16 pm »
Contaminated beef... Pffft! Contador should have tried being a bit more imaginative.  :demon:

Quote
Fatima Yvelain is a regional-level distance runner in France. I suspect you had not heard of her until now but she enters history with one of the best ever excuses for a positive doping test.

Following a positive test for EPO after a half-marathon, she claimed heavy rainfall on the day of race had caused water to stream over hidden medical waste somewhere near the course. As she ran, the EPO-laced rainwater splashed onto her shorts, thus contaminating her urine when she later provided a sample at the doping control.

Needless (to say - Ed) athletics website VO2.fr reports the French Athletics Federation didn’t believe a word. She is banned for two years.

Update: this is no hoax story. You can read the official sanction from the French Athletics Federation here (PDF, in French).

Source: http://inrng.tumblr.com/post/29472905178/itsrainingepo
"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And when you look long into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

andygates

  • Peroxide Viking
Re: The best doping excuse ever?
« Reply #1 on: August 16, 2012, 06:32:44 pm »
I'd have to describe that as the worst doping excuse ever.  The best, surely, would have worked.
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citoyen

  • Cat 6 Racer
Re: The best doping excuse ever?
« Reply #2 on: August 17, 2012, 12:05:20 pm »
When Ryan Lochte admitted that he pissed in the Olympic pool, it did get me wondering... Suppose a swimmer who is using EPO pees in the pool (not suggesting that Lochte is, btw), what are the chances of it contaminating another swimmer?

(Pretty slim, I'd have thought, but it's only a matter of time before someone tries to use it as an excuse.)

d.

Re: The best doping excuse ever?
« Reply #3 on: August 17, 2012, 01:21:35 pm »
Dilute that Lochte-contaminated swimming pool water several times over and you might be able to sell it to gullible aspiring olympic swimmers, and the drug would be undetectable.  It's probably no coincidence that you can't spell homeopathy without e, p and o.

TheLurker

  • Goes well with magnolia.
Re: The best doping excuse ever?
« Reply #4 on: August 17, 2012, 01:32:44 pm »
Dilute that Lochte-contaminated swimming pool water several times over and you might be able to sell it to gullible aspiring olympic swimmers, and the drug would be undetectable.  It's probably no coincidence that you can't spell homeopathy without e, p and o.
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Karla

  • car(e) free
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Re: The best doping excuse ever?
« Reply #5 on: August 17, 2012, 02:11:49 pm »
Dilute that Lochte-contaminated swimming pool water several times over and you might be able to sell it to gullible aspiring olympic swimmers, and the drug would be undetectable.  It's probably no coincidence that you can't spell homeopathy without e, p and o.

I've been thinking about selling undetectable homeopathic PEDs to athletes for a while now, do you want to go into business?

Re: The best doping excuse ever?
« Reply #6 on: August 17, 2012, 03:20:46 pm »
When Ryan Lochte admitted that he pissed in the Olympic pool, it did get me wondering...

Time to add the urine-reactive indicator dye to the pool at competitive events.  :demon: ;D
"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And when you look long into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Re: The best doping excuse ever?
« Reply #7 on: August 17, 2012, 03:25:02 pm »

Re: The best doping excuse ever?
« Reply #8 on: August 17, 2012, 03:59:33 pm »
http://www.topendsports.com/medicine/doping-excuses.htm

Dennis Mitchell's was my favourite

Kind of undermined by a comment I'd seen elsewhere from one of the British Cycling coaching staff, who said that they could always tell when the cyclists were getting it on because the mens' performance in training dropped, while the reverse was true for the women. ;D
"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And when you look long into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

citoyen

  • Cat 6 Racer
Re: The best doping excuse ever?
« Reply #9 on: August 17, 2012, 04:04:13 pm »
Kind of undermined by a comment I'd seen elsewhere from one of the British Cycling coaching staff, who said that they could always tell when the cyclists were getting it on because the mens' performance in training dropped, while the reverse was true for the women. ;D

There's a brilliant episode of Seinfeld based on precisely that premise.

d.